Crushed (16 page)

I re-read the note and slipped the
chain into my pocket. I'd lost my lucky penny last year when I'd
gone backpacking in Europe for the summer. I had no idea that I'd
told anyone about losing it, much less Claire. This was one of the
reasons why I'd never let anyone hurt her ever again, myself
included.

I was the last one into class again
and had no choice but to take the seat across the room from Claire.
I glanced at her all class long but she never once looked my way.
Was it proper to thank someone for a thank you gift? I was sure
that it was. I stood up quickly when the professor dismissed us. I
tried to head off Claire but she was out the door before I could
stop her.

The girl in front of me turned
around and told me to quit pushing her and I felt my shoulders
fall. "Sorry," I mumbled. I'd just wanted to get to her, to thank
her for the gift. I hadn't been thinking about anything else and
didn't until I was able to catch up with her outside. I was panting
softly as I stepped in front of her, blocking her path and making
her stop. Her blue eyes looked at mine and I felt my heart race
faster.

"Hey. I just wanted to thank you
for the gift. I-That was-"

She shook her head and shrugged her
shoulders softly, cutting me off. "Cheesy, I know. I'm sorry. I
just wasn't sure what to get for someone who saved my life. Merit
got a homemade coupon book for free chores. Do you want to swap?"
The thought of a coupon book redeemable for services from Claire
was making blood rush to the place below the belt that I was trying
to keep in check. I shook the thought of her dusting my room in a
french maid costume out of my head.

"Uh, no. No, it was very
thoughtful. So, thank you." She smiled softly and nodded, evidently
satisfied that I'd accepted her gift.

"The least I could do, really." She
glanced behind me and I turned to see Merit a few feet away,
waiting for Claire. She waved to me and I nodded to her and then
turned back to Claire.

"I'll uh-" She nodded, waved her
hand in a semi-circle at my chest and stepped around me to join her
friend.

"Yeah. See you later,
Neil."

I rubbed the back of my neck as I
watched her walk away. Merit smiled sadly at me. Her pity made me
boil. It was obvious to everyone how I felt about Claire. Obvious
to everyone but her. I had to keep telling myself that it was
better this way. I wouldn't bring her anything but pain when we had
to part ways after college was over. I was done hurting her but my
life suddenly felt very empty at the realization that in a few
years Claire would no longer be in it.

Chapter 26

Claire

Merit pulled me in close to her as
we walked towards the dorms. "Girl, he's got it bad for you. I can
see it."

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Neil?
No, he's probably just lost without Justice." My smile faltered, "I
can't believe they're both dead."

She hugged me tighter to her, "I
can't believe they actually tried to...," her voice faded as she
killed the thought from coming out, "I can't imagine being here
without you." I nodded in acknowledgement as we walked
together.

"And I'm sure Neil is feeling the same about Justice. They've been
sleeping together for years. You can't sleep with someone and not
feel something for them, can you?"

She shrugged. "We all knew Justice
had her ways of making a guy sleep with her. We're lucky that the
council decided to cover it up or Neil and I would be in
jail."

"Are you going to their vigils
tonight?"

She scoffed, "Heck no! They
deserved what they had coming."

I frowned at her, "Merit... Psyche
threatened them. Imagine what you would do if she'd kidnapped me
and told you you'd only be able to save me if you killed someone
else. That would be a hard choice." She was quiet for a few minutes
and then sighed softly.

"Do you want me to go?"

I hugged her softly with the arm
that was around her waist. "It doesn't matter to me. I just wish
you wouldn't bad mouth them. It was a terrible situation for
everyone."

She sighed again and reluctantly
nodded. "Fine. You're right. ...Good job changing the subject, by
the way." I let a little chuckle escape, releasing some of the
tension.

"You're terrible. Just because he
saved my life doesn't change anything. He's still Neil Begley. He
is still the star quarterback, still every girl on campus's dream.
He will still be leaving just like everyone else in a few years. He
should find a girl that will leave with him. And even if what you
say is true, and he has feelings for me, I'm not going to be able
to leave. He deserves something that will last forever." I didn't
add it but I didn't want to be hurt again. I didn't want to give
him my heart, I knew what he'd do with it. He'd crush it, just like
he had before.

She shook her head and sighed. "I
still think you're selling him short. But I'll let it go and take
it easy on you...for now."

"Thanks so much." I chuckled again
and bumped my hip with hers, parting us as we arrived to the dining
hall.

Chapter 27

Neil

"Good morning!" The professor sure
was in a chipper mood this morning. I sunk down into my seat a
little, I was not feeling quite so chipper. I'd been tossing and
turning most of the morning after waking up from my nightmare,
going to Cassandra's funeral after watching her drown, kissing her
cold dead lips. The vigil for Justice and Will was packed and part
of me felt bitter that they were being touted as victims. In the
end darkness had lost so I was trying hard to let it go. "Today
we'll be discussing the guidelines for the last assignment of the
semester." He was rubbing in our faces that there was going to a
two month break in a couple of weeks. I knew Claire would stay here
and the thought of leaving her alone here was niggling at me. "The
author who will star in all your assignments is none other than the
extraordinary playwright and poet, Mr. William Shakespeare." I
looked around the room. Everyone was rapt with attention, no one
was cheering though. I found it amazing that Shakespeare's works
had lasted so long and still captured such a wide audience. I hoped
that for myself, to be remembered, to be revered.

"I've divided you into groups
already and you will have to write a collaborative paper in which
you will write the modern play - television. You will write three
scenes in screenwriting format and then you will act out one of
them. You can do a classical version or a modern twist, it's up to
you. In the past students have done live performances mostly but
some have shown us their scene using the AV equipment. If you need
such equipment you'll need to let me know in advance." The
professor spent the rest of the class time going over how to
properly write a screenplay. Just before it was time to leave he
read out the groups. I sat up straighter when he'd said my name
after Claire's. He dismissed the class and I stood up slowly,
watching Claire as she raced to the professor.

"I would much rather do 'The Taming
of the Shrew' or 'MacBeth', is it possible I could switch with
someone?" She was batting her beautiful eyelashes at the professor
but as I saw him sigh heavily I knew he wasn't going to give into
her.

"I'm sorry, Miss Hughes, sometimes
in life we have to work with others we may not get along with. I
still expect a superior product." Her shoulders slumped slightly
and she nodded slowly. She stepped back and headed for the door. I
caught up with her and spoke low as I brushed my shoulder against
hers. I felt the sparks and I was pretty sure she did too judging
by the jolt of her body and the blush on her cheeks.

"At least you tried, but it seems
you're stuck with me." I inhaled her scent while I was still close
enough to do so. I winced as I watched her step to the side,
putting distance between us.

"Yes, it seems I am. When do you
want to get together and do this?" She stepped to the side of the
hallway to let others pass by us. I stopped with her, pressing my
shoulder into the wall. She was trying her best to be cordial but
it stung just a little that she didn't want to spend time with me.
I was dying to spend time with her. I should probably buy the
professor a thank you bottle of whiskey.

"My days are pretty packed but my
evenings are free if yours are."

Her wide blue eyes searched mine
and she nodded, breaking eye contact. "Sure. I'll meet you in the
library tonight so we can get started." She didn't give me a chance
to respond. She walked in the opposite direction of where I needed
to go. I let her.

*******************************

I wasn't sure what time she wanted
to meet at the library so I went there after dinner, freshly
showered. As I shaved I realized I was getting dolled up for Claire
and forewent the after-shave. I'd thrown on a black button down
shirt and some jeans. I sat down at an empty table in a secluded
corner of the library and I texted her after I'd let my backpack
fall to the ground at my feet.

Neil: I'm here and ready 2 work
when u r.

Claire: I'm here 2. Where r
u?

Neil: Could b more fun if I don't
tell u.

I smirked as I thought about her
walking around the library, craning her pretty little neck looking
for me.

Claire: Or not.

I chuckled. She was feisty tonight.
I informed her of how to find me and hadn't completely wiped the
smirk from my face when she approached and sat down across from
me.

"What the hell is so funny,
Begley?" She pulled out her notebook and her laptop, glancing at me
between tasks.

I shook my head. "Oh, nothing. Why
are you so angry tonight?"

"Because I'm here with you." That
wiped the smirk right off my face. Ouch. I sat up and frowned at
her.

"Brutal, Claire." I watched her
face but it was steeled with anger.

She shook her head as she glanced
at me. "Lets just get this over with."

I sat back and frowned at her
words, my hands covering my copy of Romeo and Juliet. "Fine. What
scenes should we do? I was thinking Act 1 Scene 1 between Romeo and
Benvolio, Act 1 Scene 5 when they meet and the death scene." She
was writing down what I'd said and nodded, not looking at me as she
shifted her gaze to the computer.

"That's fine. Do you want to do
classical dialogue or try to modernize it?"

I thought about it and looked over
the paper in front of me outlining what the professor wanted for
the assignment. "He would like it more if we modernized
it."

She sighed and nodded, "More work.
You're right."

She rubbed her forehead with an
open palm and then opened her copy of Romeo and Juliet. She put her
finger on the first scene and read it over. "So where should the
setting be?"

"A dorm room."

She nodded and typed the setting
into the proper format on the screen and while she did I kept
talking. "So we'll rename Benvolio to Ben and Romeo can be Roman.
So we start with Ben entering the dorm room that they share and he
can say something like, 'Hey, cuz, what's up?' And then Roman will
reply, 'What are you doing here, its late.' and he'll respond, 'No,
its early, like 9am dude.'" I waited, letting her catch that. She
nodded as I spoke and she typed.

As we went through that scene my
heart stuttered. Romeo was mourning the loss of a girl, a beautiful
girl, a girl he loved, a girl who didn't love him back. A girl who
wouldn't give him the time of day. I suddenly felt what Romeo did
and after I read Romeo's line I blurted my thoughts out to Claire,
"So are you seeing anyone or...?" Her fingers stopped typing on the
keyboard and she looked at me as if I had just sprouted another
head.

"...I don't see how that's relevant
to anything." She was still frozen, watching me like a wolf,
waiting to see what I would do. I shrugged my shoulders and flipped
the page corners of the book upwards so it made a soft swooshing
noise, trying to act casual.

"I was just curious. Your last two
relationships didn't work out so well I was just wondering when you
were planning on getting back on the horse." She looked at her
screen and started typing again. She apparently wasn't in the mood
to answer my question. I put my hand on her wrist and squeezed
softly. "Claire, come on. We've been friends for years. Just talk
to me." She pulled her hand away as if I'd scorched her.

"I don't want to talk to you about
my love life. I don't want to be your friend anymore, Neil. I
can't. Lets just do this project, get an A, and move on with our
lives." I sat back slowly in my chair. She had no idea, probably,
how beautiful she was when she was fighting back anger. It was all
I had in me not to grab ahold of her so she could unleash it on me
through her lips. I nodded slowly, it was all I could
do.