Crushed (19 page)

"What if he doesn't?" I whispered,
almost afraid that if I mentioned the words that they would come
true.

"Neil Begley asked you to be his
girlfriend. He told you he loves you. He'll be back. He's probably
going to text you or call you soon. He knew when your last final
was, right?"

I nodded and sat up, exhaling
slowly, trying to calm my crazies. I wiped at the tears on my
cheeks. "You're right. I'm overreacting." I forced a smile and then
excused myself to the bathroom. After splashing my face with cold
water I came back out and smiled at Merit. "So I was going to have
a night in with Neil but maybe a night out would be
better."

She grinned at me. "Awesome. Are we
going to the theater?"

I shook my head, my hands on my
hips. "Nope, skinny dipping at the lake!"

Merit forced a smile.
"Sounds...great..."

I grinned, "It will be. I'm going
to throw my first party. Make sure you bring a towel." If I
couldn't think about Neil without crying I would try my best to
make time fly without him. I had plans to distract myself. Winter
break wouldn't feel so long if I was having innocent fun and doing
stupid college kid things. This wouldn't be so hard. I could do
it.

Chapter 33

A YEAR AND A DAY LATER...

Claire

I exhaled softly as I shut the door
on the supply closet at the local shelter. I came every night and
volunteered to clean the litter boxes, refresh food and water and
play with the animals who were being housed here temporarily. I had
always felt a connection with animals and loved that if you treated
them with respect they would treat you the same. The trouble came
when you were thoughtless, ignorant or the like.

I said goodnight to the kitties
before flipping off the light switch. I locked up the outer shelter
door and pulled my coat tighter around me. This winter was going to
be a harsh one, it was already twenty degrees colder than it
normally was this time in December. I shoved the keys and my hands
back into my coat pockets and made my way back to the
dorm.

I'd been lucky in the last year to
have the opportunity to move into the sorority house. After Neil
didn't return for the Spring semester I was devastated. It hurt too
much to be in any room where he'd been too. As time passed I was
hoping that everything was alright. When spring turned to summer
and summer turned to fall I was still broken, still empty without
him. But I filled my time with school, sports, clubs, volunteering,
and, of course, matchmaking. Every moment of my time was accounted
for.

There was a new guy on campus this
year named Kurt. I was enjoying showing him around and watching him
and Merit pretend they didn't like each other. I saw a love match
in their future but I refused to get involved and besides, it was
too entertaining. They would eventually figure it out on their own.
I smiled as I thought about them and navigated my way through the
dimly lit sidewalks of campus.

I'd finished my last final of the
Fall semester that afternoon and most of the students had left,
migrating like birds to the south, for some warmth. As always I
wished I could join them. And always I quickly got over it. That
wasn't my life. My life was here and always would be. I'd signed up
for classes during the mini break and still had my volunteering
hours to work with.

I went up to my room in the
Sorority house, which was a beautiful 10 bedroom colonial style
house. Two girls slept in a room but my roommate had left last
night and wouldn't be back until the spring semester started. I
exhaled my relief at being alone in the room, kicked off my shoes,
and grabbed my stuff so I could shower.

As I was closing my eyes I felt a
warm wind blow on my face. For some reason I smiled and then I fell
asleep.

Chapter 34

Neil

Finally I'd made it back. I had
finished my warrior training in record time. I'd basically kicked
ass and took names. I was Nuada's son and as such I had excelled.
The hardest part of the training had been the lack of Claire. So
much time had passed that her face was starting to get fuzzy in my
memories of her.

I inhaled the crisp air, letting it
fill my lungs completely and slowly exhaled, my warm breath mixing
with the cold air to make a cloud of steam that drifted behind me
as I walked. I wasn't sure exactly where she'd be but I was certain
I'd find her sooner or later, the campus wasn't that
big.

I was about to venture into the
dining hall when out came Merit, nearly plowing into me. She gasped
when she saw me. I smiled at her and offered her a nod. "Hey,
Merit. How have you been?"

She looked me up and down and then
shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest. "I've been fine. How
about yourself?"

I shrugged, shoved my hands into
the front pockets of my pants. "I didn't lose an arm or anything so
I would say I've been good." She didn't get the joke, didn't even
crack a smile...my old man lost his arm, I guess its an inside joke
kind of thing. I watched as her face remained neutral.

"That's good. See ya." She tried to
move past me but I sidestepped, blocking her way.

"Do you know where I can find
Claire?" At this point her eyebrows drew together. Ah, bloody
hell.

"I do but I'll be damned if I tell
you where she is. You left her here without so much as a goodbye
and now suddenly you're back?!" She uncrossed her arms so she could
stick her finger into my chest. It stung a little. "You stay the
hell away from her! You've done enough!" I opened my mouth to
defend myself but she continued right on, yelling at me, so I shut
my mouth, letting her have her moment. It wasn't going to deter me.
"She's got a boyfriend now, a -real- one and you're not going to
screw that up for her! Go back to wherever the hell it was you went
and don't come back!!!" I felt my mind jumble and the ache in my
chest was back. A boyfriend? I was gone a year and she already has
another boyfriend? I guess I thought that it took her so long to
find her first boyfriend that it would take her equally long to
find a second.

I guess I just figured that she
would wait for me, or be too broken to find someone. Maybe it was a
ruse. Maybe she wasn't happy. How could another bloke possibly be
better for her than me? The hurt and confusion must have been
showing on my face because Merit smirked at me and lifted her
perfect nose into the air. "Don't fuck this up for her, Neil." And
with that she walked away, and I let her because I didn't want her
to see the battling emotions on my face. When she was gone I
stomped to the college community board and punched it. The wood was
no match for my fist and when I extracted it, there was a fist
sized hole staring back at me. It didn't make me feel any
better.

I enrolled myself in a winter
semester class so that they would give me housing and then I sat
outside of the girl's dormitory, waiting and watching. I felt like
a stalker, hell I was a stalker, but I had to see her. To make sure
for myself that she was still alive and that she looked
happy.

There weren't many girls going in
and out of the dorm and I probably would have missed spotting
Claire if she weren't walking with the tallest guy I'd ever bloody
seen. They walked together, close but not touching. Claire was
bundled up in her coat but the large guy looked as if he were
strolling on the beaches of Mexico, his coat undone and floating
behind him when the wind blew past. I justified following them
because I needed to make sure she wasn't in any danger. This was a
big dude. Maybe he had just latched onto her, maybe this wasn't the
boyfriend Merit was talking about.

I ducked behind a tree when her
laughter floated back to me. I felt my fists and jaw clench as I
glared at the giant who was entertaining the woman I wanted. But
then I mentally shook myself, I wasn't the jealous type. I was just
upset that he hadn't offered to help her get warmer. Images of the
two of them kissing flooded my mind and I growled. That's not what
I meant. I meant him offering his jacket or something.

I followed them from a distance
until they reached the animal shelter. I couldn't very well go in
there without giving away my stalker tendencies so I waited outside
a little longer. I cursed and looked down at my boots when I could
no longer feel my toes. I should be in Tir Na Nog with Claire right
now. Not holed up in the snow like a rabbit. I sighed and then
straightened as the big guy came out alone.

I could've confronted him right
then but I was ready to go inside, my bollocks were freezing. And I
didn't want Claire to have to see the red on the snow if I had to
kick his ass because I'd deemed him unworthy. I gave him a healthy
lead and then followed behind. My thoughts turned to him and her
kissing and flirting inside the shelter. My jaw was aching by the
time the big guy went into the boy's dorm. I smiled to myself.
Maybe we were neighbors. He wouldn't be too hard to miss, anyway. I
went to my room and took a long hot shower to warm up before
falling back on my bed for a nap.

Chapter 35

Claire

I dropped my keys on the bedside
table after returning home from the animal shelter and grabbed my
shower stuff. I was going out tonight and I was super excited to be
hanging out tonight with Merit and Kurt. The university was having
a Mexican themed night at the dining hall for those of us who
didn't leave. I loved theme nights and recently I'd been thinking
that I would try to get an in on that sort of thing so that when I
stayed on at the university I could have some say on what the theme
nights would be. It would be like being on the dance committee in
high school, which I, of course, was.

I quickly showered, dressed in a
baby blue sweater and black corduroys, slapped on some makeup and
headed out of the sorority house, shoving my hands into my coat as
I went. I was running a little late. I grinned when I reached the
dining hall. Through the glass doors I saw the brightly colored
streamers hanging from the ceilings inside. They spared no cost, it
seemed. There were Mexican blankets covering every table, maracas
tucked into glass containers for centerpieces and a lot of students
were already having a seat, sombreros on their heads.

As I opened the door the sound of a
mariachi band caused me to smile more. Even when they were singing
about something sad it sounded cheery to me. I looked around to see
if I could spot Kurt and Merit, though mostly Kurt because he was a
hard guy to miss. They saw me first and started waving at me, they
were already in line to get a tray of Mexican fare. I nodded to let
them know I saw them. As I approached I noticed Merit smacking
Kurt's hand away from her ass. I grinned. Something was definitely
going on between them.

I smiled at them both and waggled
my eyebrows. "What's going on you two?"

Merit rolled her eyes and shook her
head, pointing over her shoulder at Kurt who was looking very
innocent. "This guy can't seem to understand that when a girl says
no she means no."

I looked at Kurt and he shrugged,
"If I have to play dumb to get you to kiss me again, I
will."

I gasped and put my hand to my
mouth, "
Again
?
Merit... you kissed Kurt?"

She frowned at Kurt and then looked
at me, shrugging it off. "He told me he couldn't swim. I didn't
believe him so I pushed him into the water at the end of the dock.
I gave him mouth to mouth to resuscitate him, that's all. He thinks
I'm into him and..." she turned to look at him, "he's wrong." She
made sure she said it nice and slow. I grinned and grabbed my tray
as we entered the serving area.

I shrugged my shoulders this time.
"I think he's onto something. When we took CPR in high school you
said you'd never do that."

"Ugh! I was talking about doing that on a dummy! Though I guess,
technically, you're right. I did do it to a dummy." She spoke while
grabbing a burrito plate.

"Hey!" Kurt chuckled, the sound
deep and rumbly, as he grabbed two burrito plates and put them on
his tray.

Merit smiled, "I call 'em like I
see 'em."

I grabbed a taco plate and a bottle
of water and handed over my dining card as we reached the end of
the line.

We took a seat away from the
mariachi band and started to dig in. When I looked up I noticed
that Merit was looking around, avoiding my direct gaze. I narrowed
my gaze at her and waited for a few minutes to see if it was a
fluke. Apparently it wasn't.

"Merit, what's eating
you?"

Merit coughed as Kurt mumbled, "I
wish I was."

After taking a large gulp of her
water she answered. "Well.. I um...man! This burrito is the bomb!"
I raised my eyebrows, unimpressed as Merit tried pitifully to
change the subject.