Cowboy is Mine (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 5) (4 page)

He'd been her best friend. Her lover. Her everything.

Tears fell to her cheeks and she swiped them away.

Staring at the blurred words on the form, the first question asked for her name. Well, giving her real name would be counterproductive. She typed in her pen name, Kris Fox. In fact, most days she felt more like Kris than Krista. The next few questions were easy, Address and Gender. Then came a hard one, “What do you consider your most heartbreaking experience?”
Really?
She didn’t have to answer honestly. After all, would they know? She came up with a clever answer, but in the end, she found herself typing the truth.
Having my heartbroken by a womanizer.
She was honest to a fault.

After finishing the questionnaire, she hovered her mouse over the ‘submit’ button. Did she have any other choice but to hunt him down?

Click.

Now there was no backing out. She had put down a deposit. Besides, she could use a vacation anyway.

Her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“My darling, I just finished Wicked Pretenses and I think this is your best yet,” her agent’s shrill voice vibrated the line.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Krista smiled, digging into her now melted ice cream.

“The publishing house is going to eat this up. Can we expect the last book in the series on time?”

“I plan to have it on your desk in six months.”

“That’s early. Is that definitive?” Stella asked.

“I’m going on vacation and I will have it to you before I leave.” Krista jotted down the date in her planner, then set herself a reminder on her computer.

“Oh, finally going on that Alaskan cruise you’ve been talking about for a few years?”

Krista debated on how much she should divulge. Although she and Stella were friends, even the other woman didn’t know about Dodge. “Not this time. I’m going to Nirvana Ranch, a retreat in Wyoming.”

“I didn’t know you had an interest in horses and cowboys?”

Biting her bottom lip, Krista tapped her short fingernail against the top of her desk. “Let’s just say that I have one cowboy in particular in mind.”

“Well, just be sure I get that book, you hear? I wouldn’t want you to get lost in a cowboy’s arms in Wyoming and forget all about responsibility.”

“Of course, Stella. When have I ever let you down?”

“Never. That’s why I love you, darling.”

After hanging up, Krista pulled up the blank word document and typed in “Wicked Dreams”. No words came. The blinking cursor reminded her of a ticking time bomb.

Blowing out a long breath, she instead reserved a plane ticket to Wyoming and felt excitement, which was quite odd. She was going to Nirvana to ask for a divorce, and yet all she could think of was finding out if her husband was as wild and incredible as a cowboy as he was a football player.

CHAPTER TWO

DODGE WYATT CLENCHED the nail between his gritted teeth, grabbed it with his gloved hand, then pounded the last board into place. Sweat dripped from his forehead and he used his arm to swipe it away, but more came. He dropped his hammer into the grass next to the box of nails and gave it a push with the toe of his boot. Spring was well on its way and the sun beat down exceptionally hot for this time of year in Wyoming, but he couldn’t complain. He enjoyed hard work and had hated being cooped up all winter. This past season had been the hardest, leaving him feeling lonely—lonelier than usual.

He sat down, pulled off his gloves and leaned against the fence post, uncapping his water and drinking most of it in one gulp. The breeze picked up and dried some of the sweat on his upper body. If he hadn’t taken his shirt off before he started working on the fence, he would have been drenched. His jeans were soaked and moisture dripped into the crack of his ass. Nothing worse than wet boxers.

Relaxing his head against the wooden rail, he listened to birds chirping from a nearby tree and the sound of hooves pounding the dirt in the distance. The horses were loving the warmth too. He sighed as he thought back to the call he’d gotten from his father last night. He was retiring from the family owned resort in Montana and asked Dodge to come back home to help his brothers take over the helm.

Dodge had no clue yet what he’d do. His mind was reeling. He’d been gone for a long time and had only visited twice in the last few years.

There was also a nagging feeling in his chest, and he knew it had nothing to do with anything physical, but all emotional.

At thirty-one, he was in tip-top shape, much like he’d been when he played football and was conditioning for hours every day. He’d never been afraid of hard work or working out. His health was good, he lived in paradise and he should be overcome with pride.

Yet, he was far from it.

He’d received another message from Krista seven days ago. She’d told Jennifer, the receptionist, that it was urgent that he call her back. Of course, he didn’t. He already knew what she wanted. A divorce.

Why the hell hadn’t he just signed the papers when they’d showed up in the mailbox? It wasn’t like he and Krista had anything left between them. Ten years ago she’d walked away from him after the shit had hit the fan.

She’d accused him of cheating. Even now, the idea made him sick.

He’d been angry with her—still was. How could she have just walked away over something as measly as him leaving the toilet seat up and his dishes on the table? Until that point in their relationship, he’d thought they were happy and could have gotten through anything. But when she packed a bag and took off, it showed him that she regretted marrying him. Hell, he’d known they’d done everything up until then with a fire in the seat of their pants, but why wait when you know what you want? He’d wanted her and never regretted putting a ring on her finger. Hell, the ring hadn’t been much, yet she’d worn it proudly. He shook his head.

The first real heated argument they’d gotten into and she’d given up. After she left, his world had come crashing down. He’d laid around the apartment, waiting on her to come home, or at least call to let him know she was okay. Then his buddies showed up on his doorstep, dragging him out the door, telling him that he needed an evening out of the house.

Looking back, he realized the decision had been a bad one—very, very bad. He’d expected to drink a couple of beers, then go back home and get a good night’s sleep—or at least he’d hoped. Somehow the path had verged in the wrong direction, and if he could go back in a time machine to change that day, he’d do things a lot differently.

He’d been a local celebrity, not by choice, playing college football at Florida State. No matter where he went, fans, especially women, recognized him and, although he’d always been flattered by the attention, that was as far as it went. He knew from the very beginning that a man could get trapped into a skunk’s den if he wasn’t careful. And he loved Krista. His heart tugged even now.

That particular night, his life had forever changed. He’d drunk more than his usual few beers while a handful of sexy co-eds had practically melted over the football players sitting at the bar. One young woman in particular made it clear to Dodge that she wanted to find out if his moves were as good in bed as they were out. He’d been patient with her, signing his autograph on a napkin and tolerating the fact that she’d spilled a can of beer in his lap. He’d disappeared into the men’s restroom to clean up and the resilient blonde had followed him in.

Damn, the girl had just gotten carried away, but Krista couldn’t have chosen the worst possible time to walk in. The blonde had been smashed up against him, rubbing the beer stain that just happened to be on his zipper.

The look in his wife’s eyes had struck him dead cold across the small space of the dingy men’s room. Hell, he’d gone after her, wanting to explain and tell her that the blonde had practically forced herself on him, but he knew how pathetic it sounded. It would have been a waste of his breath.

Krista had already been worried about how other women threw themselves at him, but he’d always assured her that she was the only one for him. It’d been the truth.

He’d even stood back, watching her bust up his truck in the parking lot, and not a sliver of anger had come over him. The cracked headlights and dented hood had been a symbol of their marriage. As well-built and pretty as the Dodge appeared, it had suffered damage.

He knew Krista like the back of his hand. Knew her ins and outs, and he recognized how unhappy she must have been to get so angry that she’d smash up his truck. Truly, the truck had meant a lot to him, but it hadn’t been anywhere close to how much he’d cared for Krista. As he stood there, seeing the hurt on her face, he realized that he’d always cause her pain. To find his own dreams in the pro football world, she’d have to support him, trust him. Apparently, she never did. Female fans would continue to throw themselves at him, and he guessed there would be more busted headlights and hoods. If she didn’t believe in his fidelity, how could they have made it work?

So, he’d left her standing in the parking lot. It’d been the most difficult thing he’d ever done in his life.

He had every intention of having his lawyer draw up divorce papers, but it seemed no time was the right time. He’d always expected that she’d come knocking, forcing him to sign papers. Wherever she was in the world, she must have seen the pictures of him in sports magazines along with the rotating women on his arm.

Damn, he’d been the worst version of himself during those days.

Playing pro he’d thought he was invincible. Sleeping around had become his salve. Hell, women found him attractive, falling at his feet, and he didn’t see any reason to deny himself the pleasure. He knew now, not one woman had come close to Krista.

Then tragedy struck…

During a game, Dodge tore his ACL and MCL that left him down and out. He’d defied the doctor’s orders during rehab, pushing himself harder and faster than he should have. The first game that he was back on the field, he reinjured his ACL and effectively, ended his NFL career. He’d been devastated.

He’d moved from place to place until the money ran out, and luckily, he found Nirvana. Here he found peace and tranquility, didn’t need to worry about the outside world where people remembered him as the football player who ended his career with an injury.

Nirvana had been his savior. Lately though, he went to bed every night feeling enraged with isolation and regret. What if he’d fought for Krista? What if he’d found her and told her his feelings? What if he’d moved to the left instead of the right on the field that day? Would he still be in the game?

So many
what ifs
.

Hearing the
clopping
of a horse’s hooves, Dodge stood and looked over the field. He laughed and waved. Dade was sitting in a saddle. He hadn’t done that in a long time—not since the accident that had left him unable to walk.

As Dade approached, he dipped his hat in greeting. “What do you think of my new wheels? I traded in the wheelchair for this beauty.” He patted the mare’s backside.

Dodge leaned against the top rail and planted his booted foot on the bottom. “I think this is a sight for sore eyes. I knew you’d be back in the saddle, bro.” His heart filled with pride at his friend who’d proven the doctor’s wrong when they said he’d never walk again. Sure, he wasn’t completely recovered, but he’d come leaps and bounds. Dodge understood all too well how badly a man could want something and make it his only goal to get it. After his injury, he wasn’t sure he’d walk without a noticeable limp, but most days, he could easily forget the injury he’d suffered.

“I’m just spittin’ happy that I’m out of that cabin. I swore if I didn’t get back on a horse again soon I was going to go mad. I’ve missed the land. I’ve missed y’all, even if most of you were a thorn in my ass.” He laughed.

“No worries, my friend. Times are changing. No one will ever bother you again unless they want a size twelve boot up their ass.” Everyone, even Dodge, had enjoyed pestering Dade. Not to be mean, but to toughen him up. He’d come to Nirvana wet behind the ears and as gullible as a baby goat. But he was part of their family, and they watched each other’s back.

Dade shrugged. “I’ll see you around. I have to get back for therapy.”

Dodge packed up his things into the toolbox, jumped into the Gator and drove toward his cabin on staff row. The ranch had grown, especially in the last year. More cabins and treehouses had been built. The wedding venue was up and running, booked solid for months in advance. And the number of guests had tripled. Several new staff members had been hired, including hands, and things were shifting. It wasn’t that Dodge didn’t like change or growth, but something in his life needed tweaked. And fast.

He pulled in front of his cabin and stomped through the door, toeing off his dirty boots. Sure, the place wasn’t much, but it was his. What more did a man need but a roof over his head, food in his stomach, and a hot shower.

And that’s exactly what he needed now.

Dragging off his dirty clothes and leaving them in a pile on the floor to grab later, he headed for the bathroom—a long, cold shower was exactly what his body craved.

The water released some of the tension in his muscles and he stood there until his hands started to wrinkle. Then he quickly lathered his hair and body, rinsed and got out.

He dried off with a thick towel, dropped it over the bathroom hook and went to his bed. There he plopped down onto the mattress and closed his eyes. He didn’t have time for a nap. New guests were arriving, but after working on the fence all day, he needed, and deserved, a break. More from his aching loins than anything.

He hadn’t slept with a woman in over a year. Being that he was a red-blooded man who worshipped soft curves and feminine scents, this was more like ten years of celibacy. Honestly, Krista was probably the last time he’d made love to a woman—the last time he’d felt any emotional connection outside of needing a quick release. He swore he’d never allow anyone else inside of his heart like he’d allowed his wife. It hurt too damn much when it ended.

Laying here night after night, he ached with a longing that always left him raging. His cock jerked at the thought. For the last twelve months he’d been his only source of comfort and release. He was growing tired of masturbating, but it prevented him from fucking up again. He had grown tired of senseless fucks that left him feeling emptier than when they started.

Krista’s angelic face played on a reel in his mind. Her long dark hair. Her luscious frame with curves that made him harder than cement. He remembered how she’d given herself to him. He’d been her first. She was shy at first, but she’d become passionate and filled with a fervor that he couldn’t quite describe.

But she left me.
And he’d never attempted to find her, although he’d always wondered what happened to her. In the respites of his mind he wondered if she’d found someone new, had a kid or two. She’d never remarried, that’s for damn sure. He’d never been a mean person, but he felt a sense of pleasure that she was still married to him and she could never fully give herself to another man.

It wasn’t right…but it was true. When he thought of another man touching her, hearing her whimpers of passion, feeling her writhing under his body as she gyrated her tight pussy, it made Dodge want to hit the wall. Or pound another fence into place.

He’d sat down once and wrote her a letter explaining that he’d never cheated while he was with her, but halfway through it he’d crumpled the paper and gave it a toss into the trashcan. He’d never been good at writing.

Why had it meant so much to him? Why did it matter now?

Here lately he’d been thinking a lot about his future, even before the call came from his dad. Although he loved Nirvana, loved the solitude and staff, he also knew eventually he’d have to start thinking about moving on. He couldn’t be here another five, ten, fifteen years. This place was a stepping stone. Even Chase, the owner, knew the turnover was quick. This wasn’t a nine to five with retirement.

He had a life awaiting him in Montana.

When he was ten, his corporate attorney father and stay-at-home mother had packed up their belongings in Chicago and, with their five boys, they’d moved from the big city to a secluded property fifteen miles from any neighbors in Montana. To fit in with the locals, the boys had each gotten a Stetson, a horse, and they learned to ride like pros. They were out on the land from dawn until dusk, working, playing and being heathens. Being boys. His parents had a dream of running a bed and breakfast, so they turned the large cabin into a B&B. Then came more cabins, more property, and eventually Five Rock had become a popular getaway, especially during the cold months and holidays when everyone wanted to get away from everyday life. The resort had come far over the years. His parents’ dreams had turned to reality. They were still in love, still called each other their best friend. After thirty-eight years of marriage and working side by side for most of it, Dodge would think they’d want some time away from each other, but in all of the years they’d only spent five nights apart and that was when their sons were born. The Wyatts had been offered several million dollar deals from developers, yet his parents had always adhered to the idea that their boys would live on and run the ranch/resort.