Cowboy is Mine (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 5) (9 page)

CHAPTER FIVE

JUST AS DODGE had promised, the view at the wedding chalet was beyond a description of words. It was a perfect place for two people to exchange vows, to start their lives as one. For the first time, she felt a nudging of regret that she’d never experienced the magical, awe-inspiring ceremony that a woman dreams of. She couldn’t change the past, no matter how much she wanted to.

They sat together on a grassy knoll and both remained quiet for the longest time.

“Thank you for bringing me here. I don’t think I’ll ever view the sunset the same way again.”

“It’s easy to get lost in the setting here. When I first arrived, I couldn’t get over how everything seemed brighter, lovelier…”

She plucked a piece of grass and rolled it between her fingers. “You wanted to speak to me about something, right?” She’d felt that something was on his mind since they left the barn.

“Look, I know we’ve both made some mistakes over the years, but you coming here, and the onset of all of these emotions I have in me, tells me that something still exists between us. What exactly it is, I don’t know.”

She looked over the fields spotted with purple wild flowers blowing in the slight breeze. “It wasn’t my intention to come here and end up in bed with you.”

“Mine either.” He chuckled.

“Of course, because you didn’t know I was coming. I trapped you, which isn’t quite fair.”

“I think I must have known that eventually you’d show up. Hell, maybe I had even hoped.”

Hearing his admission made her heart pound hard against her chest. “I’m not sure I follow. Were you just hoping I’d come running after you, because the road runs both ways. If this gives you some kind of power trip—”

“No. I’m saying that you’re here now and I think we should put the divorce on the back burner, enjoy this week. I don’t want you to spend your vacation in paradise arguing over the details of a dissolution.”

Sitting straighter, she attempted to wrap her brain around what he was suggesting. “Then what happens, Dodge? The week will come to an end eventually.”

He shifted, facing her. “Tell me that you want to leave Nirvana right now? If I sign the papers at this moment, would you pack your things and walk away?”

She hesitated, but not because she didn’t know how to answer. “I want to stay. I want to explore the land, and truthfully, I want to spend more time with you.” The words were out that placed her in vulnerability’s basket, but when it came to Dodge, she couldn’t be strong like she should. He had a hold on her, and she wasn’t certain that she still wanted him to sign the papers. That idea might be foolish, but it was how she felt and couldn’t be denied.

“Then forget the papers, for now, and enjoy this place together. I’ll be your personal tour guide.”

His words offered such hope, such faith—and excitement.

They sat for another few minutes until darkness had fallen, then they walked the path, lit by lantern-style solar lights, to her cabin.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” he said as they stood on the step of her door.

“At the mixer?”

He nodded. “Yes. Do you want me to pick you up?”

“No. I’d like to walk.”

An awkwardness floated between them and she knew he was questioning what to do, just like she was.
Do we kiss? Do we hug?
What do two people do to say goodbye when they’re married, but aren’t a couple?

“Let me have those boots so I can fix them for you.”

She slipped out of them and handed them off. “I’ll leave them in your care, but remember those are the only pair I have.” She winked.

He gave her one last smile then walked away. She watched him climb into the Gator, start the engine and pull away from the cabin. She listened until the purr of the cart faded into the darkness before she went into the quiet cabin, suddenly wishing that he’d stayed. That was a dangerous feeling. All of this, her sleeping with him and agreeing to forget the divorce for now, it was all crazy—but in an exciting way.

Krista pulled off her clothes, took a quick shower, then dressed in an ankle-length sundress. She grabbed a jacket in case it got cold later, slipped on sandals, then left the cabin. The walk was nice and it didn’t take long until she saw the red glow of the bonfire in the near distance. Laughter was carried on the breeze followed by the heavy tunes of a banjo.

Once she reached the clearing, she saw that many people had already gathered and were scattered across the lawn in groups and others mingling. Several musicians were sitting close to the fire, playing, surrounded by listeners clapping their hands and stomping their feet. The roasted hog turned over the spit and the savory, strong bouquet of the cooking meat made her stomach growl. She was hungry.

A tall, thin man wearing a white cowboy hat and worn flannel was using a large carving knife to cut off slabs of the meat, and then divvy out portions onto awaiting plates. She held out her own plate as he piled it high with the steaming pork. “A special helping for the pretty lady.” He winked.

Krista wondered if all of the men here flirted without shame. “Thank you.”

“Help yourself to our buffet inside the tent. Potato salad, cole slaw, baked beans and all of the desserts you can imagine.”

Smiling, Krista thanked him again and went to the tent. Inside, she found Kaycee filling her plate with a good helping of potato salad. When she saw Krista, her smile deepened and her cheeks turned rosy. “I’m glad you joined us. Too bad you have to see me eating like this. I can’t seem to get enough calories.”

“You’re pregnant. Enjoy it.” Krista winked, using a spoon to gather herself a scoop of cole slaw and then a square of cut watermelon.

“I think you’ll really enjoy Nirvana. It’s a bit unbelievable at first, but I promise you, the land holds healthy benefits that are unexplainable.” Kaycee popped a piece of bread into her mouth.

“So far, I can’t believe how relaxing it is here. No wonder y’all are booked up solid.”

“The wedding venue helped a lot. Chase is a smart business man. And the best husband a woman could ever have. Lucky me!”

“When a woman can say that, she definitely is lucky.”

“I hope I don’t strangle him before this baby is born though. His sister phoned yesterday and said she’s coming tomorrow to visit. She wants to be here when the baby is born.”

Krista blinked. “Don’t they get along?”

“Oh, they get along great, but he thinks because he’s the older brother that he’s the ruler. She’s an adult, but he treats her like she’s a juvenile and it frustrates her. I’ve told him that when a woman is made to do something she doesn’t necessarily want, she’s more than likely going to rebel.”

“What is he trying to make her do that she doesn’t want?”

Kaycee laughed. “Stop having a fascination for cowboys. Funny, huh? A woman loving cowboys.” She laughed. “He doesn’t get the attraction.”

“I see. He respects, appreciates and admires his hands here, but no one is good enough for his sister.”

“You get it. Too bad he doesn’t. He’s already freaking out and complaining. I love his protective side, but I am not in the mood to be a buffer between them.”

“Maybe it’s time to let them handle it. If his sister gets tired enough, she’ll stand up for herself and he’ll listen.”

“True…I just wish he didn’t think she was coming here to start up a fling ag—”

“Still pregnant!” A petite brunette approached them. “I told you I know a massage technique that’ll make that baby come out within twenty-four hours.” “Kris, this is one of our magical masseuses here at Nirvana. Suzie. Maybe you’ll get to visit her during your stay. We have a group of women who were born with rewarding hands.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Krista smiled.

When the two women started talking delivery methods, Krista slipped out of the tent. She chose a bale of hay close to the fire and began eating hungrily while listening to the music. The three-person band played Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline and a few other popular old-time hits. She found herself humming along to songs she’d never heard before, but the tunes dragged her in. Over the course of the next thirty minutes, she’d met many of the staff and several guests as they filed in and circulated. One cowboy by the name of Dade was exceptionally friendly, but he didn’t stick around too long. He seemed preoccupied with something.

The environment was positive and fun. Krista sipped her sweet tea, enjoying the activity around her. She was starting to wonder where Dodge could be, but not soon after, she saw him heading her way. Her heart flipped.

“Sorry I’m late, sweetheart.”

He called her sweetheart. Swoon.
She wasn’t nineteen any longer. “I wondered if you were coming.”

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I wanted to make sure you got your boots back. They should feel much better, but you have to let them dry overnight.” He placed them next to her.

“Aww, Dodge, thank you. For what I don’t know.” The boots were shiny and they smelled strong of polish.

“It’s a leather butter. You rub it over the material and it softens the hide just enough to mold to your feet.” He looked down into her empty plastic cup. “Ready for another beer?”

“Sure.” She handed over the cup. “But it’s tea. I’m going wild tonight.” She winked.

“Probably best. Wouldn’t want you passing out on me again.” he teased.

“Now about that…I let my nerves get the best of me. That’s all. You can’t tease me anymore.”

“I’ll be back,” he promised, then sauntered across the grass approaching a circle of cowboys.

Krista felt at ease. She leaned back, bracing her hands on the bale and watched Dodge. He seemed confident and happy talking to the other men. They were all about the same height, weight, and build…and she’d guessed they all worked hard around the ranch. Krista appreciated a hard worker, a man who liked getting his hands dirty, although she’d noticed that Dodge’s hands were scrubbed clean. Her mom always said,
“A man who takes pride in work will always take pride in his life.”

She couldn’t help but wonder where she and Dodge would be now if she hadn’t left Florida. Would it be possible that they could still be married? With children?

Blowing out a long breath, she mulled over the idea of enjoying the week with him. Nirvana was beautiful and she loved being here, but this was dangerous and could be lethal. She was placing herself in a position of risk. Could she keep her emotions protected? She’d never been able to before. The alternative was to demand that he sign the papers, and then she’d leave. Why did the idea make her chest ache? Why did she feel as if neither decision was best?

Hearing giggling, she brought her attention across the yard. Dodge was no longer standing in the group of cowboys. She found him pouring beer from the keg, but he wasn’t alone. A scantily dressed woman was standing beside him, her arm hooked over his shoulder and her way-too-big breasts were pressed against his bicep. Ten years ago, Krista would have been overcome with jealousy, but now, she only felt a nudging of curiosity. Who was the woman? A guest? She was pretty and obviously hot for Dodge.

The woman stood on the toes of her boots and whispered something in his ear, but Dodge didn’t respond how one would expect. She could see in his profile that his jaw was tight and his gaze squinted. There was no mutual interest. Krista smiled. Why this brought her a sense of relief, she wasn’t sure, but it did.

Kaycee sat down next to her. “How are you enjoying the party?”

“I’m enjoying it. Everyone is welcoming, some even very friendly.” Krista couldn’t help that her gaze naturally darted in Dodge’s direction. The blonde was no longer pressed against him, but she stood close by, her hands tucked into her front pockets and the waist of her shorts were pulled down enough to reveal her flat stomach and a navel ring.

“I hope I’m not overstepping any boundaries here, but I get the feeling you and Dodge didn’t just meet. You got your eye on him like a woman who knows what he looks like under those Wranglers.”

“That obvious, huh?” Krista couldn’t lie to the other woman. “I’m afraid Dodge and I have what you call history. Not the greatest, but he sure as hell can still make my blood boil.”

Kaycee smiled. “That’s what I figured. I haven’t been around for long, but he’s a good guy.  All of the cowboys are really. Especially my Chase.”

Krista saw the love in the other woman’s gaze as she looked at her husband who was standing at the fire pit. “Now I have a question that might be overstepping my boundaries a bit.”

“Ask away. I’m an open book.”

“Do you ever get frustrated living here? You know, with all of the single and obviously horny women?” Krista noticed that the blonde had stomped off from Dodge.

Kaycee inhaled and let it out slowly. “No, I don’t worry about Chase. If you only knew our past, you’d see that trust wasn’t always there, but when you love someone, you work through all of the hurdles. I love living here. Chase has a vision for this place and I share in the dream. A husband and wife have to support one another.”

“I tried,” she whispered.

“You tried?”

“Dodge was my husband. No, he
is
my husband.” Krista blurted.