College Girl (20 page)

I hurried over to the couch and
sat down, slipping off my shoes and tucking my feet under me. I hugged my arms
to my chest and tried not to cry. I had no idea what had just made me do
something so freaking stupid. He had interrupted his date—or whatever it
had been—to come pick me up
after
I ran—literally
ran
—away
from him last week. And then I rewarded him by unleashing super-crazy Alex on
him? He probably thought I was a total freak. And I was. I didn’t even know
what I wanted.

Well, that wasn’t true. I wanted
something I couldn’t have. I let the tears stream silently down my cheeks and
hoped Ryan would just go into his bedroom and leave me alone to cry myself to
sleep. When he cracked his knuckles, I stiffened.

Ryan

I had known guys in undergrad
whose only thrill had been the chase. As soon as the girl in question had given
it up, they lost all interest. The thing that destroyed me now was that Alex
was willing to sacrifice herself for someone who didn’t deserve her, and that
asshole was
me
. Yes, I wanted her, probably more than
I had wanted anything in my life. But the price was too high. I wanted to be
able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning.

“Alex …”

She didn’t answer me. She just
shook her head. I glanced down at Finn, who had curled up at the foot of the
couch. I was seriously wondering if my dog would take a chunk of my leg as I
approached her.

“Have you ever wanted something so
badly that it clouded your judgment?” I asked quietly.

She laughed, but it was
high-pitched and breathless.

“Yeah. Duh. You!”

Walking over to her, I knelt in
front of her and kept an eye on my dog,
who
was
regarding me warily. Fucking ingrate. I reached forward carefully and wiped the
tears from her cheeks.

“Then we have the same problem,” I
sighed. “And Alex, I’m not going to do something that you’re going to regret
tomorrow.”

As I said this, I couldn’t help
reaching out and stroking the soft skin of her wrist. Her pupils dilated and
her breathing sped up, which made me wonder if she had any idea how much
restraint I had summoned just a few seconds ago to prevent myself from carrying
her into the bedroom and stripping off her clothes.

“Come on. Let’s get ready for
bed,” I said quietly, retracting my hand.

She rose slowly and then walked
over to her backpack, where she out a small bag and a pair of shorts that
redefined short.

“Do you have a T-shirt I can
borrow? Those assholes kind of destroyed the one I was going to wear at
Rachel’s—and she spilled something all over my other shirt.”

Going to the bedroom, I went
through my drawers and brought back a white T-shirt that would easily fall past
the pair of shorts she was holding. She smiled and took it before walking into
the hall bathroom. With a heavy sigh, I went into the bedroom to change,
knowing that I was getting ready for a long night of no sleep. Putting on a
pair of flannel pajama bottoms, I grinned as I remembered the look on Alex’s
face when she had caught me that first night. Her eyes had literally been glued
to my cock—which was exactly the wrong thing to think about right now.

Stepping into the hall, I saw the
light on in the guest bedroom. Common sense and better judgment flew out the
fucking window as I thought about … lots of things. Watching her come. Feeling
her small, soft hands on my cock. Watching her face the moment I would finally take
her for the first time. I pushed open the door without knocking and scooped her
up. Carrying her down the hall into my room, I set her down on the bed. When
she looked up at me, her green eyes haunted me.

“Alex, I want to deserve you,” I
said as I touched her cheek.

She reached for me as I came down
on top of her, and when I brought my lips to hers, she whimpered desperately.
Kissing her throat, I felt a wave of pure relief as her arms wrapped around me.

“I missed you,” she whispered.

And that’s when I realized exactly
how shit-awful this week had been. I had been so afraid that I was never going
to see her again, and even now, part of me was sure that I was about to wake up
alone and drenched in fucking sweat. Then Alex’s hand stroked me through the
flannel. I groaned, and she smiled and squirmed out from under me, reaching
over and opening the drawer of the nightstand.

“So predictable,” she laughed.

Pulling out the box of condoms,
she smirked at her discovery, and I was beyond grateful—for
once—that the box had remained unopened for longer than I cared to think
about. Snatching it out of her hand, I pinned her to the bed.

“No,” I growled.

“Why not?” she demanded.

“Did you even think of asking if
I’ve been tested?”

She blinked.

“Have you?”

“Yes, for every disease known to
man after I broke up with Gretchen.”

“And after that?” she asked with
an adorably mortified look.

“There hasn’t been an
after that
.”

“Really?”

“Really,” I said dryly, releasing
her arms.

She sat up.

“How long—”

“A long time.”

“Wow …”

“Thank you, Ms. Reed.”

She blushed.

“It’s not that. I mean
,
you had someone here tonight, didn’t you? I just figured
you must have plenty of opportunity, so …”

“Do you take every opportunity
that presents itself?”

She blushed even redder.

“Well, I was
trying
to tonight.”

I leaned back against the
headboard and pulled her into my arms. When she looked up at me, I smiled.

“Then what you said just
last week
about not being ready for sex
isn’t applicable now?” I asked.

“No. I mean, it’s just I’d rather
it be you than someone I don’t even …” She frowned. “I don’t know. I guess I
figured it would be easier to pretend that you loved me back than to pretend I
was in love with someone else.”

I exhaled and brushed my free hand
over my face.

“Are you always this honest?”

“Nope. I’m just too tired to lie.”

“Alex?”

She looked up at me.

“Can we make a deal?”

Her brow furrowed.

“What kind of deal?”

“To be patient with each other.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I don’t want to lose you
…”

She was quiet for several seconds.

“When my dad stopped coming
around, I kind of decided it was better not to get too invested. You know, in
case people left. I didn’t really plan it that way; I just started doing it. I
didn’t want to expect too much, so I just let go whenever it seemed like people
weren’t going to stick around. I guess it’s fucked up, but I tried doing that
with you. I didn’t want to feel like I needed you.”

I would have laughed if it had
been at all funny how similar we were. The difference between us, though, was
that she was brave enough to own it; I wasn’t. I leaned down and took her face
in my palm, kissing her softly. Six months ago, if someone had asked me if I
would ever willingly torture myself this way, the answer would have been a
resounding
fuck no
. Now I couldn’t
wait to torture myself. Alex turned in my arms and slid her hands over my
chest.

“I thought you were tired,” I
whispered in her ear.

She laughed breathlessly.

“I
was
…”

Lifting her until her legs were
straddling me, I watched as her expression became serious. Slowly I pulled the
shirt over her head before skating my hands across her breasts, teasing her
nipples before letting my hands fall to her hips. I rocked her forward gently.
Her eyes closed, and a small moan escaped her lips as her back arched. When I
began moving her faster against me, she braced herself on my shoulders. Lifting
her, I pulled her gently to the edge of the bed her until I could pull off her
shorts and kneel in front of her.

She blinked and tried to close her
legs, but when I kissed her knee softly, she relented. I began to spread her
open. Then, lowering my mouth to the wet heat of her pussy, I let my tongue
flick out and touch her clit. Alex jerked in my arms and whimpered. I held her
hips firmly and began to stroke her with my tongue, teasing her until she began
to writhe against me.

The taste of her and the sound of
her cries pushed me over the edge. I pulled her all the way onto the bed before
coming down next to her as I let my fingers slip between the folds of her
pussy, caressing her clit before moving lower. I hesitated before testing the
entrance very gently with my fingers.

“I need you to be this wet when we
make love.”

Her eyes opened, and her breathing
became quick and jagged. I was desperate to be inside her, but I slowed my
breathing and forced myself to enjoy the fact that she was here, only moments
from coming in my arms. I began to stroke her clit faster until she moaned.

“Yes, Alex.
Now
,” I growled.

Seconds later she stiffened in my
arms, her hips rocking toward me until she went limp in my arms. She lay
completely still for several seconds before struggling to sit up and placing
her hands on my chest. I let her push me onto the bed, watching as she began to
pull down the flannel pants. The sight of her staring at down at me made my
cock jump, but when I saw her reaching for the box of condoms, I frowned.

“Not what you’re thinking,” she
laughed.

“How do you know?”

She opened the box and carefully
ripped open one of the packets, examining it stoically. In the interest of
expediency, I took it from her and pinched the tip as I rolled it on. With her
legs straddling me, Alex leaned forward and sucked the tip of my cock into her
mouth.
Fuck
me. I struggled for
control as her hand gripped the base and she took me all the way into her
mouth. Her tongue stroked me, and I groaned when she sucked me deeper.

My hands fell to her head,
stroking her hair. Her mouth felt so good, but suddenly all I wanted was to
feel her pussy tighten around my cock as I fucked her until she came beneath
me. She sucked me harder, her lips moving faster up and down the length of my
cock, and suddenly I lost all rational thought. I gripped the sheets, and with
a groan I felt my cock pumping against the softness of her mouth. Trying to
catch my breath, I laughed.

“Are you sure you’ve never done
that before?” I asked, rising up on my elbows.

Her lips were puffy, her cheeks
flushed.

“Are you calling me
a ho
, sir?” she grinned.

“I’m calling you adept.”

“Well, good. Because that was all
one big guess.”

“A good guess, then.”

She blushed as I got up and walked
into the bathroom. When I came back, Alex had already slipped into my T-shirt. Dutifully
putting the flannel pajamas back on, I got into bed next to her and wrapped my
arms around her. As I stroked her arm, it occurred to me how completely fucked
I would have been if I had slept with Brenda’s friend tonight.

Sarah, my “date” from earlier, had
called in the middle of the week—at the precise the moment when I had
thought the chances of seeing Alex again were less than zero. When she had
mentioned getting a drink, it had just seemed easier to give in and invite her
over for a glass of wine. Sure, at the time, in the back of my head, I had
contemplated the possibility of sleeping with her.

But if I
had
been in bed with her when Alex had texted me? Jesus. I didn’t
even want to think about it.

“What are you thinking about?”

When I looked down at Alex, she
laughed hilariously.

“Oh shit! I’m totally not supposed
to ask that. It’s like guy poison, right?”

“I was thinking how lucky I am.”

“Really?”

I nodded.

“Yeah, you totally are lucky,” she
laughed.

She laid her head back on my
chest. Pulling her close, I closed my eyes.

When I woke up, there was light
pouring through the blinds. I blinked and cursed when I saw that I was alone in
bed. Shit. Either last night had been a vivid fucking dream, or Alex had taken
off again. I groaned and rolled out of bed. Then I heard someone moving around
the house and smelled—coffee? And food. Walking into the kitchen, I found
Alex standing at the stove in nothing but my T-shirt. There were bowls of
chopped fruit on the counter. The coffee pot was full. Finn got up from where
he had been lying at Alex’s feet, and when she turned around and saw me, she
jumped.

“Shit! You scared the hell out of
me!”

“I thought last night was a
dream.”

She grinned at me.

“Yeah.
Me, too.
Then I realized I was way too comfortable to be at the dorm … and there was
this hot guy in bed next to me. For a second I thought I had died.”

She flipped an enormous omelet
onto the plate and looked up.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“Don’t say things like that.
Please.”

I walked over and slipped my arms
around her from behind, smelling her hair.

“Sorry,” she sighed. “My mom has a
fucked up sense of humor. She talks about death the way other people talk about
the weather. I guess I got that from her.” She stopped and looked back at me,
grinning. “All right, so I thought I was going to make you breakfast in bed,
but you’re up now, so …”

She went over, poured a cup of
coffee, and handed it to me.

“I basically made it stronger than
I thought a normal human could tolerate.”

I took a gulp.

“It could be a little stronger.”

She gave me a look.

“Riiight.”

She split the omelet into uneven
pieces, giving me the larger part, and then took a bagel out of the toaster and
sliced it in half.

“I didn’t know if you wanted
butter, cream cheese, or jam, but you had all three, so they’re on the table.”

I picked up the bowls of fruit and
my coffee, and Alex carried the omelet plates to the table. Taking the fork, I
cut off a square of omelet.

“You didn’t tell me you could
cook,” I said accusingly.

“
You
can cook, Ryan Bennett. Omelets are the extent of my culinary
expertise.”

I devoured the food, thrilled to
be eating a meal that I didn’t have to prepare. Looking up, I tried to remember
the last time someone had cooked me breakfast, but I couldn’t. It hadn’t been Gretchen.
That was for sure.