College Girl (29 page)

By the time we got to Mercer, it
was about four in the afternoon. The dorm looked strange and unfamiliar, like I
hadn’t been here in decades. Things had changed so much, and then changed
again. When I got out, James opened the back and set my bags on the ground
while I fished around for my ID. Finally I looked up at him.

“Where do you live?” I asked,
wondering if he had a long way to go.

“Live?”

“Yeah. You know—the place
where you sleep, eat, shower.”

“Everywhere. Nowhere. Anywhere
close to an airport.”

“Okay. I mean, where are you
staying tonight?”

He smiled.

“I’m crashing at Bennett’s. … You
want to join me?”

I smirked.

“Can I give you my number in case
you hear from him?” …
and
I don’t
, I didn’t add.

“Give me your phone.”

I handed it to him.

“I’ve already got your number, but
now you have mine. Do you need help?” he asked, gesturing toward the dorm.

I shook my head.

“Thanks for the ride.”

I tried to smile before turning
and starting to walk toward Mercer.

“Alex?”

I looked back.

“I’m sorry about earlier …”

I nodded.

“But I still think that at your
age you need something to compare with in order to qualify mind blowing.”

“I’ll take that into
consideration, and maybe if you stop expecting the worst out of people, things
will work out for both of us.”

He smiled.

“Call me if you change your mind
about coming over.”

“Sure. Go ahead and hold your
breath.”

I turned and walked to Mercer. The
bad news was that I was pretty sure Julie wouldn’t be back until tomorrow; the
good news was that I didn’t think Brit would be around, either. Too bad Brit’s
absence didn’t mean peace and quiet. Even with fewer people in the dorms, there
were at least three rooms on my floor competing for whose music was loudest.
Unlocking my door and sniffing the air, I decided that now was the best time to
air out the room, clean up my side, and throw out any putrefying food
containers that Brit might have left lying around from last term. I spent an
hour cleaning before stopping to look out the window at the gray skies. It was
like the sunny weather had decided to take a U-turn after the two days with
Ryan. Still, it was at least seventy-degrees outside, and I decided I needed to
get out. Otherwise, I would just sit in the room, play depressing music, and
wait for Ryan to call.

Changing into my workout clothes,
I walked downstairs. But the second I started jogging, the ache in my ribs
started up again. Apparently being around Ryan had been like a painkiller, and
now that he was gone, the pain was back. It was better than it had been less
than a week ago, but it still hadn’t gone away. I jogged super-slowly and
checked every intersection compulsively before stepping into the crosswalk.

When it started sprinkling, I
turned around and made my way to Mercer.
Back in the room, I
texted Julie about going to the bookstore together.
Then I went down the
hall and showered, trying to relax. But I missed Ryan. And I was worried about
him. I never heard from him, though, so I spent rest of the afternoon
rearranging my side of the room, trying to Brit-proof it. I checked my phone
compulsively, but when finally
rang,
it was Mom, not
Ryan.

“Are you all settled?” she asked
when I picked up.

“Just clearing out the destruction
Brit left.”

“I thought the two of you got
along,” she clucked.

I sighed. Brit and I
had
gotten along, for all of five
minutes at the beginning of fall term, before I had realized that Brit’s syrupy
sweetness was all a front. By the second week in the dorms, she had started
making my life hell. I had already told Mom this, but Mom had a tendency to
revise anything negative that I told her. When I said, “Brit’s a psychotic
bitch,” Mom heard: “We braid each other’s hair every weekend while we’re
studying.”

“We’re okay.”

“Did you get your books yet?”

I bit my lip.
No, because I was in a hotel room with Ryan Bennett getting deflowered
,
as James McDevitt put it.

“I’m going over with Julie
tomorrow. How was Stephie’s ballet recital?”

“Your sister is a marvel. Her
teacher says she’s one of the best students she’s ever had.”

“Is Stephen going to send me the
video?”

“He already posted it on YouTube.”

“Oh …”

Thanks for telling me, Mom
.

“Alex, I’m sorry I blew a fuse
about your Calculus class. It’s just I know you could have gutted it out if you
had really tried. Maybe you could retake it this quarter.”

I cringed.

“Mom, I’m already signed up for
classes. And I know you’re disappointed …”
in
me
… “But I really hated Calculus, and I never would have made it through
four years doing something I hated.”

“You would have loved being a
doctor, though,” she said wistfully.

No, you would have loved having a doctor for a daughter
, I
corrected in my head.

“Mom, the DC’s going to close
soon. I’d better go. I’ll call when classes start. Give Stephie a hug for me.”

“I will.”

Grabbing my laptop, I got on the
bed and thought about making Ramen instead of going alone to the DC. When
someone knocked on my door, I was expecting one of the second-floor asshats to
be standing on the other side looking for Brit. Then I checked the peephole and
frowned. James McDevitt. Opening the door, I stared at him.

“If I have to spend the night in
this Podunk college town, then you’re coming to dinner with me.”

I shrugged.
Another
night’s reprieve from dorm food?
Why not?

“And you’re going to keep your
hands and
tongue
to yourself, right?”

When he grinned and nodded, I went
and grabbed my purse before following him to the stairwell.

“Mind telling me how the hell you
knew my room number?”

“Bennett had it in his
phone—”

“Which you stole.”

“Borrowed. Twice.”

“That makes you a thief and a
stalker,” I pointed out.

“I’ve been called worse.”

“By your own friend.” I paused.
“Have you heard from him yet?”

“You haven’t?”

I looked down, trying not to feel
as hurt as I did.

“No.”

Ryan

“How long have you known?” I asked
wearily.

Becca took a sip of the shit
coffee from the hospital cafeteria and shuddered.

“Baby brother, I hate to tell you
this, but there hasn’t been some grand conspiracy to keep you in the dark. I
thought Dad had a case of bronchitis that wouldn’t quit.
Even
Mason was caught off guard by the CT scan
. The only reason Dad came in
last night was because he was having chest pains.”

“Sorry,” I muttered. “It’s the
guilt talking.”

She gave me a look.

“Are you telling me that you would
feel better right now if you hadn’t gone back to school?”

I ran a hand over my face.

“No.”

It was hard to believe that less
than twenty-four hours ago I had been having the best two days of my life. I
could have stayed in that hotel room forever with my arms wrapped around Alex,
breathing in the smell of her. Glancing around the waiting area, I wondered how
my life had gone from exceptional to shit in an instant.

“I just didn’t expect it,” I said
in a low voice. “The prognosis for Stage IV lung cancer is what? Months?”

“Mason said it depends.”

“And when did Dad even smoke?”

My sister sighed.

“I know he quit before Reece was
born.”

“Fuck, Bec. That was nearly forty
years ago.”

“And sometimes it’s just bad
luck.”

Hearing a pair of high heels
clicking down the corridor, I looked up and saw my mother, perfectly composed,
striding toward us. She hugged Becca and offered me her cheek. Her expression
betrayed no emotion. My mother was, in a word, unflappable.

“The two of you should go home.
They’ll be releasing your father tomorrow, and there’s no sense in the two of
you staying. We’ll see you at the house in the morning. Brunch at
eleven-thirty.”

In other words, we were dismissed.
I would have asked for answers, but this was my mother. I walked with Becca out
to the parking structure.

“So how’s your little girlfriend?”

“You mean since I left her alone
in a hotel room five hours from the university? I wouldn’t know.”

“Ryan! You did not!”

“Oh, it gets better. I sent
McDevitt to bring her back to school.”

“
Why
would you do that?”

“What was I supposed to do? Wake
her up and drag her to the hospital for more of Mom’s disapproval?”

“You could have driven her back to
school.”

“While Dad was in the hospital
with a possible heart attack? Besides, I didn’t want to ruin the beginning of
her spring term because of my shit.”

My sister looked me up and down.

“Do you love her? And no
bullshitting me this time, Baby.”

I smiled crookedly. Becca was the
only person in the world who could call me
Baby
and not sound completely crazy. I nodded.

“Good for you. Now, I suggest that
you have a chat with Mom, because she’s already invited Gretchen to the house
for—”

I growled.

“Son of bitch. Seriously?”

Becca nodded.

“She’ll be at brunch tomorrow.”

“Wow,” I sighed. “Mom must like my
ex better than she likes me.
You
were
the one who called me.”

Not bothering to contradict me,
Becca opened her car door. Then she reached out and hugged me.

“I’ll see you in the morning. Call
your girlfriend.”

I nodded and started walking
toward my car. I had been in the hospital for ten hours on and off to spend a
grand total of ten minutes with my father, who had insisted he was fine. If
they had let him have his cell phone, I was sure he would have been making
business calls.

So much for a
touchy-feely father-son moment.

I took out my phone. This morning felt
like a million fucking years ago, and scrolling to Alex’s number, I wondered
how livid she was going to be that I had sent McDevitt to pick her up. She had
sent one text. I hadn’t heard from her since. The phone rang once before she
picked up.

“Ryan! Oh my god! Is your dad
okay?” she asked breathlessly.

I couldn’t help reveling in the
fact that she sounded relieved—not angry—to hear from me after I
had left her alone in a hotel room.

“He’s okay. It’s a long story.”

“Are
you
okay?”

“I’m fine. And I’m sorry about
this morning … for sending James to pick you up.”

The sound of McDevitt’s voice in
the background sent ice through my veins, and I looked down at my watch. He
should have dropped her off hours ago.

“How’s your pops?” McDevitt barked
into the phone.

“Getting out tomorrow.”

“Awesome. There
ain’t
shit in this town for food.
One decent restaurant.
But
how’s this for irony, buddy? I’m sleeping at your place and having dinner with
your girl.”

Unlocking the car, I got in and
slammed the door violently after me. Why the
fuck
had I told him where the spare key to the house was?

“You were supposed to drop her off
at her dorm, not try to fuck my girlfriend, McDevitt,” I hissed.

“Your
girlfriend
? That’s so sweet. You coming back tonight?”

I thought about it. I
wanted
to drive to school, pick up Alex,
and lose myself in her until morning. But her term started on Wednesday, and
the last thing she needed was to deal with my bullshit right now. On the other
hand, the thought of leaving her with McDevitt for a millisecond longer … I
slammed my fist against the steering wheel.

“That depends. Are you going to
take her back to the dorm and keep your fucking hands off her?”

“Well, I
did
tell her that she needs to expand her horizons before she
decides what
mind-blowing sex
means.”

He started laughing hilariously,
and I cringed at the inevitable expression of horror on Alex’s face. McDevitt
was trying to get a rise out of me—and it was working. I wanted to
fucking kill him.

“Hand the phone back to Alex, and
I won’t kick your ass the next time I see you.”

“I swear he was Dr. Jekyll a few
hours ago,” Alex muttered.

“
This
is the real him.”

“Great,” she groaned.

“Will you call me when he drops
you off?”

“Okay.”

I wanted to tell her how much I
needed her right now. Then I thought about McDevitt sitting across the table
from her and felt my knuckles cracking against the steering column. Throwing down
the phone, I pulled out of the parking structure and started back toward the
family compound. I got about halfway there when I realized that I wasn’t going
to sleep tonight. More likely, I would spend the entire night worrying about my
father or Alex, probably both. And by the time I pulled up in front of the
cottages, I had already decided to drive back to school. Fuck it. McDevitt
could have the house for the night, but I needed Alex.

Getting out I whistled for Finn,
who came trotting out from the dog door in the back. As soon as I got inside, I
filled up his water bowl and gave him an extra scoop of food before going into
the bathroom and cleaning up. Repacking my bag, I headed outside again to throw
the ball around with Finn for a few minutes before scratching his head and
grabbing his dog bed from the car. I let him back into the cottage, knowing
that as a Bennett Family Cellars favorite, by morning my dog would have plenty
of friends—if he
wasn’t
glued to Massimo all day.

It was a dumb move to drive back
to school only to have to turn around first thing in the morning, but I was
beyond being rational. The phone buzzed when I was almost to the dorms, and
hearing Alex’s voice over the speakers, I smiled.

“Ryan?”

“James dropped you off?”

“Yeah. God, he’s a pain in the
ass. But I can’t complain about a free dinner.”

I laughed.

“Can I call you back?”

“Sure,” she said, sounding confused
and disappointed.

I pulled up in front of Mercer and
sat in the car for several minutes. I wasn’t coming back after this, and I knew
it. I needed to go back home and prove to my father that I would be there when
he needed me. My doctorate would have to wait, along with the rest of my life.

Right now, though, gravity was
pulling me toward Alex. I got out and starting walking toward the dorm with my
bag over my shoulder, feeling like a fucking serial killer as I caught up to a
kid walking into Mercer. I caught the door handle right before it snapped
closed and then took the stairs two at a time to the third floor. The light was
off in Alex’s room. I looked around, and seconds later the bathroom door down
the hall swung open. Alex stepped out, and I smiled, feeling my body lighten at
the sight of her.

She was looking down at her bag as
she walked down the hall. Then she glanced up and stared at me, like she
thought I was a figment of her imagination. She started running and dropped her
toiletry bag at my feet before jumping into my arms. I pushed her up against
the door, kissing her hungrily as I reached forward and opened the door.
Pulling her inside, I set her down and grabbed her bag from the hallway before
locking the door and shoving the desk chair under the doorknob.

Throwing the bags in the corner, I
turned around and felt my pulse spike as Alex started unbuttoning her pajama
top. She walked over to the desk and turned on the lamp, and I watched as she
pulled out a strip of condoms and the bottle I had left on the nightstand at
the hotel. She set them on the bed.

“Smart girl.”

Then I frowned.

“But unless I lost count, we
didn’t have sex
that
many times …”

Alex rolled her eyes and stripped
off her top before shimmying out of her pajama bottoms.

“Yeah, well your friend James only
blew up half of them in the hotel room.”

Tearing my shirt over my head and
kicking off my shoes, I walked over to Alex and lifted her onto the bed.

“I missed you,” I whispered as she
brought her hands to my face.

“It’s only been a day,” she said,
running her hands along my chest.

“It was a long day.”

I kissed her softly on the lips
and then pushed her back onto the bed, letting my fingers travel between her
breasts, across the soft skin of her stomach, to the top of her panties, which
were light pink and cotton this time—not crotchless. I didn’t give a
fuck; I just wanted her naked. Slipping the panties over her hips, I dragged
the pillow from the top of the bed and pushed it beneath her. Then I lifted her
legs one at a time, resting them on my shoulders as I bent down and parted the
lips of her pussy. When my tongue touched her, she jerked in my arms. I grazed
her again, and she moaned. Looking up and watching her face, I stroked her slowly
with the tip of my tongue, gripping her hips and holding her still when she
arched.

“Please,” she gasped.

“Not yet.”

I gentled my touch as she squirmed
against me. Then I stopped and yanked off my pants and boxers. Pulling her all
the way onto the bed, I came down
beside
her, letting
my fingers replace my tongue. I continued to stroke her, stopping just before
she came. Her eyes snapped open as I lifted her to her knees, and when I tore
off a condom moved behind her, she froze.

“Ryan …”

“Shh.
It
’s
okay. I will never do anything to hurt you.”

This was a fucking lie, and I knew
it. But I needed to be with her one last time. I needed
her
one last time. I rolled on the condom and leaned forward, one
arm slipping around her, the other brushing her hair to the side so I could
kiss the back of her neck. She shivered, and I lowered the hand that was around
her waist to touch her. When her head fell back against my chest, I flipped
open the lid on the lubricant and poured some onto my fingers before trying her
pussy. Slowly, I guided her onto my cock, stroking her again until she cried
out. Then I grasped her hips and pulled her all the way down until I filled her
completely.

When she gasped in shock, I pulled
out and tipped her forward until her hands came down on the bed. Kissing her
neck and shoulders, I thrust into her again. She looked over her shoulder at
me, her cheeks flushed, and I felt a rush of simultaneous satisfaction and
desperation as her breathing sped up.

“Yes, Alex,” I whispered against
her ear.

Her muscles tightened around me,
and I rode her faster, holding her to me as I went over the edge with a growl
of satisfaction. Slowly lowering her to the bed, I got up to dispose of the
condom. By the time I collapsed next to her, she laughed.

“Does this mean I get to start
locking Brit out?”

“I would go anywhere and do
anything as long as I get to do that with you, but … my place is much more
comfortable.”

I pointed toward my feet, which
were dangling off of her standard-issue twin bed. She giggled before turning
serious.

“Well, then we should go kick your
friend James out of your house.”

Reminded of my asshole friend, I frowned.

“Was he that bad today?”

Alex bit her lip and rolled over
to look up at the ceiling.

“Do you really want to know? I
mean, he’s your friend, and I’m glad he gave me a ride, but he’s got
zero boundaries
, as my mom would say.”

What she was saying didn’t
surprise me. McDevitt did what he wanted, when he wanted. I did, however,
expect a certain level of decency out of him.

“What did he do?”

She sighed.

“Just remember—you asked.
Let’s see. He started off by telling me that he couldn’t believe I had let you
deflower
me—because, according to
him, you’re as big of a sociopath as he is.” My jaw clenched. “Then you heard
his advice about
broadening my horizons
.
But the best part was him sticking his tongue down my throat before telling me
that you probably slept with his ex-fiancée.”