College Girl (16 page)

“Look at me.”

Her eyes flew open and locked with
mine. She stared up at me as I began to stroke against that pearl of flesh
relentlessly. When she moaned against my mouth, my lips curled up with
satisfaction, and seconds later she began to writhe, her hips arching toward
me.

“Ryan!”

“Yes, Alex,” I whispered raggedly.
“Come for me.
Please
.”

She trembled violently in my arms
as I bit her lower lip sharply and took her all the way to the end, stroking
her until the spasms subsided. My cock ached. Being the first to watch her come
helped to ease the disappointment that I hadn’t been inside her to feel her
climax—but just barely. She was quiet as I dropped down beside her.
Gathering her against my chest, I caressed her back gently as her breathing
began to slow. She looked up at me shyly.

“Is it always like that?” she
asked.

“Like what?”

“Amazing,” she whispered.

“
That
wasn’t all of it,” I answered dryly.

She propped herself up on an
elbow. Then she smiled.

“Will you … teach me how to touch
you?”

My cock throbbed in response to
her question, but I shook my head. I couldn’t believe I was refusing again. But
I couldn’t risk it. Not when the only thing I could think of right now was
pushing inside her.

“Not tonight. Tonight I wanted to
watch you come. That’s all.”

I kissed her again and then got up
and began moving toward the bathroom, stripping out of my clothes as I went. I
forced myself to keep going when all I wanted was to turn around and carry her
into the shower with me. I laughed quietly to myself.

I hadn’t jerked off this much
since I was fourteen.

Alex

It felt like I was floating as
Ryan got up and began stripping out of his pants. Watching his perfect ass as
he walked into the bathroom made my adrenaline spike. Part of me wanted to
follow him, but I wasn’t brave enough. I looked down at my mostly naked body.
Had I really just done that? I reached down to my lace underwear, which no one
had ever seen up until tonight, and shivered. My entire body was sensitive.

Wow. So that was what it was like.
An orgasm—my first.

The sound of scratching at the
front door of the cottage made me jump. I ran over to the dresser on the other
side of the room and frantically began opening drawers. Finding a T-shirt, I
hurried to the door and looked through the peephole. There was no one there.
Cautiously opening the door, I smiled as Finn stuck his nose in and opened the
door the rest of the way.

“Boy am I glad you weren’t here a
few minutes ago,” I whispered, shutting the door behind Ryan’s dog.

Hearing a buzzing noise, I ran
back over to the nightstand by the bed and found my phone, which meant Ryan
must have brought it in from where I had left it in the SUV. The text was from
Julie—asking if I was coming back to the dorms. I sat down on the bed and
bit my lip as I typed my answer into the phone, imagining Julie’s scream in my
head. A second later, Ryan walked out of the shower with a towel around his
hips and droplets of water scattered across his bronzed chest. His blond hair
was slicked back—and I started rethinking my whole no sex without love
oath.

“What?” he asked, his eyes
sparkling.

I set my phone down on the nightstand
and looked away.

“Nothing.”

“Didn’t look like nothing going on
in your head.”

He opened the dresser I had just
gotten the shirt from and took out a pair of flannel pajama bottoms.

“Well, whoever said honesty is the
best policy was whacked out of his or her fucking mind.”

“Now I
really
want to know.”

“Too bad.”

Ryan suddenly dropped the towel,
and my eyes locked onto his penis. Yeah, sure I had seen him completely naked
that first night—but I still wasn’t used to a huge, fully erect penis …
particularly when it was attached to a hot guy who was staring at me. I gasped
and closed my eyes.

“Not to be a prude or anything,
but could you not do that? It’s kind of shocking to my virginal senses and
all.”

I was joking—sort
of—but my voice still shook.

“I’m sorry. No more full frontal
until you ask for it.”

He was right in front of me; I
could tell. When I opened my eyes, they dropped immediately to his … flannel
pajamas. I looked up at him.

“Disappointed?” he asked. “Because
I could take these off.”

I smirked.

“Cocky, aren’t you?”

“Very.”

I blushed, suddenly embarrassed by
my own pun.

“I sort of thought you were going
to …” I swallowed. “Well, you know. Take care of that during your shower …
since you didn’t seem to want any help.”

Ryan stepped closer, and my breath
caught.

“To be accurate, I wanted to do
things you’re not ready for.”

Frowning, I was about to make a
smart comment about
never
being ready
for sex without love
.
Instead, the
most ridiculous question popped out of my mouth.

“Did you love your ex? I mean,
when you were together.”

I looked away, and Ryan surprised
me by laughing.

“There, I think that did it.”

“Did what?”

I glanced at him questioningly and
found him staring at his pants like he was watching his manhood deflate.

“
Oh
! Very funny.”

Ryan sat down on the bed and ran a
hand through his damp hair.

“Did I love Gretchen?” He paused.
“No, I don’t think I ever did. I think she was safe.”

I shook my head.

“What does
safe
mean?”

Ryan frowned.

“It means … I wasn’t afraid of
losing her.”

I nodded. Something in his tone
reminded me about his father’s speech about Reece, Ryan’s older brother. But I
bit my lip and didn’t say anything. Why bring up a painful topic again? It made
me think, though. Was
I
afraid of
losing
him
? Then suddenly I
knew—being afraid of losing Ryan was the whole reason I was here when I
really shouldn’t have been. Which made me furious. The problem was that I
couldn’t figure out whether I was mad at Ryan or myself.

“Why didn’t you just let me go
yesterday? Couldn’t you have just walked away? I
told
you—there are a million girls who would fuck your brains
out without thinking twice. Why couldn’t you just leave me the hell alone?” I
stopped, feeling my eyes well up with tears. “I don’t
want
to be in love with you, goddamn it!”

Getting up, I shoved against his
chest and tried to sidestep around him to get to the bathroom so that I could
lock myself in. He caught my hands in his, and I struggled, my eyes burning.

“This is why you don’t screw
around with virgins, you jerk. We cry, throw fits, and generally act fucking
crazy.”

Ryan smirked down at me.

“I’m sorry to burst your bubble,
Alex, but that’s
all
women.”

My eyes narrowed.

“Fuck you, you misogynist! Let me
go!”

I hadn’t really planned it, but
suddenly it seemed like a brilliant fucking plan to make him hate me. I could
spend the night in the bathroom, endure a miserable drive back to school with
him, and then never see Ryan Bennett again. The problem was that just the
thought of this caused a sob to escape from my throat. I thrashed against him.
Then I felt his mouth at my ear, and I froze.

“You think I hate women? Then I
guess I didn’t make you come hard enough the first time.”

Before I could move, his arm came
down at the back of my knees, sweeping my feet out from under me. He laid me on
the bed and came down on top of me, wiping away my tears. Then his mouth was on
mine. His tongue tasted me, thrusting past my lips hungrily as I wrapped my
arms around him. I gripped him fiercely and heard a low growl deep in his chest
as my fingernails raked over the muscles of his back.

If this was going to be the last
time I was with him, then I never wanted it to end. His knee began to part my
legs, and then I felt his hips rock forward, bringing the full length of him
against me as his tongue plunged into my mouth at the same moment. He sat up,
bringing me with him and lifting my legs until I was straddling him. His hands
gripped my hips and he rocked me forward.

“God, Alex. I want to be inside you,”
he whispered roughly against my ear.

I whimpered, and he began to rock me
faster against him. My cheeks flushed. Every part of me ached, and I craved the
release his touch had brought less than a half hour ago.

“Please,” I begged.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as he
lifted me again and lowered me back onto the bed. When I felt his fingers hook
around my panties, I tensed.

“Shh. It’s okay,” he whispered.

I shivered as he pulled the thin
lace down my legs and over my ankles. Then his lips were on mine again,
feverish and urgent as his hands caressed my stomach and then slid lower,
dipping between my legs until his finger found the same sensitive spot. I
closed my eyes as he began to stroke me over and over again. Every time I came
close to the amazing, pulsing release, his touch slowed, but when I reached out
desperately to touch him through his pants, he caught my hand. My eyes snapped
open, and I stared up at him.

“I only have so much control. I
want to be the first to make love to you, more than you can possibly imagine,
but it’s going to be when you’re ready.” He paused. “If you touch me right now,
I won’t be able to stop. I’ll take you right now.”

My pulse leapt, and he kissed me
quickly, his finger stroking me faster and faster until I felt my breathing
hitch.

“That’s right, Alex. Come for me,”
he whispered.

It was like he knew that the sound
of his voice saying those words could send me over the edge. My body exploded
with pleasure, and I came apart, crying his name.

I loved him.

And I hated myself for it, because
I knew we couldn’t be together.

Ryan

I watched Alex sleeping in my
arms. Her lips were parted, and her arm was draped over my chest. It had taken
every ounce of fucking will power I had last night not to make love to her.
Even now, all I wanted to do was kiss her awake and watch her face as I made
her come again. Then I remembered what she had said.

Why couldn’t you just leave me the hell alone? I don’t
want
to be in love with you, goddamn it!

I caressed her forehead and moved
the hair from her eyes. Her hand tightened reflexively on my chest. What I had
told her last night was the truth. Her presence had been the only thing preventing
a fucking disaster. If Alex hadn’t been here, I would have
really
gotten into it with my mother. And there was a good chance
that I would have kicked McDevitt’s ass in front of a room full of VIPs. Even
worse, there was a chance I would have gotten drunk and fucked Gretchen,
therein terminating my nice, long streak of avoiding her bullshit drama. I
looked down at Alex and laughed quietly.

This is why you don’t screw around with virgins, you jerk. We cry,
throw fits, and generally act fucking crazy
.

The problem was that Alex’s drama
just got me hard. Gently rolling her onto the pillow, I slipped out of bed and
went to the dresser. After putting on a T-shirt and a pair of shorts, I walked
over to where Finn was already waiting at the door. It was just past five and
still pitch-dark outside. I opened the door and closed it silently behind me,
walking barefoot to the SUV to pull out a pair of socks and running shoes from
my gym bag.

As soon as I tied my shoes, I took
off down the driveway with Finn keeping pace next to me. Within another minute
I hit the trail through the vineyard. It wouldn’t be light for almost another
two hours, but I knew the terrain well, and I was just looking for a quick jog
to clear my head. I finished out a three-mile loop in a little under twenty
minutes. Opening the door to the cottage, I stepped quietly inside and fed Finn
before going into the bathroom to shower.

As I stepped under the water, I
wondered if James had slept with my ex last night. Part of me hoped so. They
deserved each other, and maybe the two of them would cancel each other
out—or annihilate each other. Either way.

Then I thought about Alex, in bed,
naked, and only steps from where I was. Imagining how it would feel to push
slowly into her tight, wet pussy, I let the spray of water beat down on me as I
jerked off. The alternative was to walk out of the bathroom and go out of my
goddamn mind when I saw her lying there. I was getting extremely sick of my
hand, but I was past being bitter about it.

Watching Alex lose control last
night had been worth it. The second time it had been a minor miracle that I
hadn’t
gone out of my mind watching her
come. I had purposely not brought any condoms. I wasn’t stupid. Even if she had
given in and told me she wanted me to fuck her six ways to Sunday, unprotected
sex wasn’t an option. Besides, I was hell bent on maintaining my
one small step at a time
formula, even
if it ended up killing me.

I got dressed in jeans and a
T-shirt and left the room again to find food at the main building. Rifling
through the kitchen, I found muffins, juice, and fruit. Then I made coffee. By
the time I got back, the lamp on the nightstand was on, and Alex looked over at
me before quickly pulling on the T-shirt she had been wearing last night.

“I brought breakfast.”

She looked me over suspiciously.

“How long have you been up?”

I was tempted to say,
All
fucking night
, but I didn’t.

“Since five.”

“Oh. Why didn’t you wake me up?”

Because I would have wanted to touch you, kiss you …

“Do you usually get up at five?” I
asked.

She shook her head.

“I didn’t think so. I wanted to
let you sleep.”

She pulled her knees up to her
chest and watched me quietly. Shit. When I walked over and set out the food on
the nightstand, she leaned over tentatively and took a muffin. Taking a bite,
she smiled.

“Why, again, did you decide to
leave paradise for the land of Ramen noodles and cranky old math professors?”
she asked dryly.

I relaxed now that she was joking
with me again.

“I’ll bring you back for a family
dinner sometime, and you’ll understand.”

Her features suddenly went blank
before she developed an unnatural fascination with her muffin. When she looked
up at me again, her face was serious.

“Are we going to head back soon?”
she asked.

“Alex? Is something wrong?”

She shook her head and smiled, but
it was far from a happy smile.

“Do you mind if I take a shower?”

I took a long swig of coffee and
nodded as she swung her legs over the side of the bed.

“There are extra toothbrushes and
paste in the cabinet.”

She nodded before hurrying into
the bathroom. Hearing the door close and lock behind her, I thought about last
night—and how dangerously out of control I had been. Had she finally
snapped out of her post-orgasm stupor and decided that I really
was
a misogynist dickhead? Not that I could
blame her if she had. My utter obsession with her had gone well beyond clouding
my judgment. If I had had a condom in my back pocket last night, I don’t know
what would have happened.

The sound of her whispering
please
still haunted me. I sat down in the
chair in the corner, sipped my coffee, and watched as my dog waited outside the
bathroom for her to reappear. Suddenly the thought of dropping Alex off at
Mercer and going back to the house to spend the day on the computer sounded
even less appealing. I wanted to keep her here all day, walk her around the
vineyard
, make her lunch …
make her come again. The
last thought caused me to curse under my breath. The door opened a few minutes
later, and Alex came out wrapped in a towel. Her eyes were bright green and
nervous.

“I forgot about clothes. Do you
have something I can wear back to the dorms?”

When I got up and walked toward
her, she took a small step back.

“Alex, what’s wrong?”

She threw her hands up in the air
miserably, almost causing the towel to slip. I felt a surge of blood through my
cock and couldn’t help praying for the goddamn thing to fall off.

“The same thing that was wrong
yesterday and the day before that! I’m fucking in love with someone who just
wants to fuck me! And it sucks a bag of dicks!”

I tried my hardest not to smile.

“A bag of dicks? Really?”

“You know what I mean!” she cried
in exasperation.

I crossed the room quickly and
took her shoulders in my hands. Staring down at her, I hated myself for not
being able to say the three words she needed to hear from me.

“Alex, let’s be clear. If I
just
wanted to fuck you, we wouldn’t be
here. I would’ve given up that first night at my place. No guy is going to hang
on this long, endure this much pain—
just
to fuck you.”

“
Endure this much pain
?” she repeated indignantly, obviously missing
my point. “If I’m such a fucking pain in the ass, then why did you bother
bringing me here?”

I reached down and gripped her
right hand in my left and brought it to my aching shaft before lowering my
mouth to her ear.

“I jerked off in the shower less
than an hour ago just so I wouldn’t go out of my mind when I saw you lying
there naked. … Now all I want is to watch you coming again.”

When I looked down at her, Alex’s
eyes were closed and her breathing was shallow. It gave me a sliver of
satisfaction to know that I could affect her as easily as she affected me.

“Alex? Is that what you want?” I
whispered.

She didn’t open her eyes.

“I promise that every time I touch
you it will only get better,” I continued hoarsely.

She trembled as I pulled the towel
free and lifted her into my arms. I carried her to the bed and laid her down,
kissing her lips, then her throat, then her collarbone, then
her
breasts. I sucked one nipple into my mouth as I cupped the other, and she
whimpered. She was close, but not as close as last night. I slipped my hand
between her thighs and felt a shudder run through her.

“You feel so good,” I growled in
her ear.

Her head fell back, and I knew it
was my touch
and
the sound of my
voice bringing her closer to the edge.

“Yes,” I coaxed.

Her breathing was coming in fast
little gulps, and that’s when I stopped. Her eyes flew open.

“
That
is what I meant by pain,” I pointed out roughly.

She struggled to sit up, and when
she put her hands on my chest, I let her push me onto my back. Her breathing
was still uneven as she began pulling off my shirt, and I didn’t bother trying
to stop her this time when she began to unbuckle the belt. Instead, I closed my
eyes as her fingers fumbled with the button and zipper on my jeans. Her hand
tentatively touched my cock through the cotton. Then I heard her sharp intake
of breath as I throbbed against her palm. Tentatively she trailed her touch
from the base all the way to the tip. Her fingers explored me until I sat up
and yanked off my jeans and boxer briefs with ruthless efficiency.

I was desperate to push her back
onto the bed and try her with my fingers to see how tight she was. Restraining
myself, I lay back dutifully and watched her face, her eyes wide as she studied
my length. I could practically see her doing the math in her head, and I wanted
to tell her how careful I would be the first time, but I was afraid it would
scare her to know exactly how much I had been thinking of being her first.

When she reached for me again, I
braced myself. Her hand was like warm silk against my skin. Her grip tightened
around the shaft, and I heard her breathing stop as I pulsed in her hand.

“Ryan, I don’t know how to …”

Sitting up, I took her hand in
mine, showing her how to torture me.
Because it
was
pure fucking torture.
Her
thumb skimmed around the head, and all I could think about was watching her
face as I finally entered her for the first time. My hips began to rock as her
hand slid up and down my cock, and I knew I wasn’t going to last long. Not
after this much deprivation. When I stilled her hand, she frowned.

“Am I doing something wrong?”

I shook my head.

“I need to see you come first.”

I lowered her to the bed.

“But I haven’t …”

I covered her mouth with mine as
my fingers parted her. Her breathing hitched, her response just as sweet as the
first time I had touched her. The difference now was that both of us were
completely naked, and I was well past the point of rational thought. With a
sudden jolt, I remembered the unopened box of condoms in the nightstand drawer.
A purchase I had made right after breaking up with Gretchen—back when I
had imagined freedom would mean one long
party
rather
than becoming obsessed with an impossibly inexperienced college freshman.

I kissed Alex’s breasts as I
touched her, trying to keep my mind from the condoms. Stroking her faster, I
fed off of her moans, and when she gasped, I leaned forward and whispered in
her ear.

“Alex, I’m going to be your
first.”

She shattered in my arms, her cry
stiffening me to the point of insanity. As her trembling slowed, I expected her
to collapse. Instead she sat up and reached out, her hand tightening around my
cock. She leaned forward and began stroking me until I groaned. Taking her hand
in mine, I quickened her touch. Then I fell back onto the bed. Closing my eyes,
I imagined the look on her face only moments earlier. Suddenly my hips jerked
forward, and I growled as the wave of release rushed through me. When I opened
my eyes, Alex was still gripping my cock, staring down at it with a look of
fascination.

“Wow,” she whispered.

I glanced down at my stomach and
tried to remember the last time I had gotten a hand job.
High
school maybe?
Before I could say anything, Alex jumped off the bed and
disappeared into the bathroom, returning with tissues.

“I was going to say earlier … If
you didn’t let me start catching up, there was going to be some serious inequality
going on,” she smiled.

“That’s assuming I don’t consider
your orgasms to be achievements in and of themselves.”

She blushed as I stood up.

“I think it’s time for another
shower,” I said, pulling her toward the bathroom.

“I just got out!”

Walking into the shower, I turned
on the water.

“It’s really just an excuse to see
you wet and naked,” I laughed.

I hadn’t gotten laid, so to speak,
but I still couldn’t remember the last time I had had a morning this good.
Rinsing off, I coaxed Alex under the hot water before picking up the soap. I
began to lather her, turning her in my arms so that I could massage her back.

“Mmm. This is much better than
showering alone,” she murmured.

The only reason I trusted myself
to be naked in a shower with her was because I had already had two hand jobs in
quick succession. On the other hand, I was sure that enough time spent touching
Alex would eliminate their effectiveness. Rinsing the soap from her body, I
looked down at her and knew that I never wanted to leave this moment.