College Girl (23 page)

I smiled even though I knew it
wasn’t true. Stephie was—and always would be—the center of Mom’s
universe. But I could see why Mom would never admit it. She loved us both; she
just loved Stephie differently. She loved Stephie in a way that maybe mothers
could only love the offspring of the man they loved,
not
the man they considered the biggest mistake of their adult
lives. For Mom, her biggest mistake had been my father. I wasn’t bitter, just
realistic.

“… So, when some boy shows up at
the hospital looking as worried as I am about you—”

“Not quite.”

She gave me a look.

“I just don’t want you getting in
over your head.”

I looked down.

“Well, I’m back in the shallow
end, so don’t worry about me.”

Hooking up with Ryan Bennett had
been a freak occurrence, and I was officially swearing off guys. Because, other
than Ryan, all I seemed to attract were stalkers, frat sociopaths, and drunken
dorks from Rachel’s dorm. And as long as I didn’t hang out on the third floor
of the library in the middle of the night or go to any frat parties, I’d be
fine. Or at least I’d pretend to be.

“Do you need help?” I asked.

“You could wash the lettuce.”

I went over to the refrigerator
and pulled out the lettuce. Mom got her produce from the farmers’ market twice
a week. It was organic, but it was also filthy. It took twenty minutes just to
get it clean enough to run through the salad spinner. Then I chopped the tomato
and some carrots after that.

“You know, the Wilts’ son is
cute,” Mom said as she poured the mix for the chocolate tart into the graham
crust she had made earlier.

I nodded and bit back a smart
comment.
If the neighbors’ son had graduated from college
last year, that would make him twenty-three or twenty-four.
And if Mom
thought Ryan Bennett was way too old, what made this guy any better? Besides, I
was going back to school in less than a week. I had zero interest in drama. I
had had enough.

Going back to my room, I gathered
up all the stuff I wanted to bring back to school with me to see if I could fit
it all in my bags. Then I showered and changed, and by the time seven o’clock
rolled around, I was officially dreading dinner. When I had first gotten home,
my main goal had been to try to stop thinking of Ryan every two fucking
minutes. Now my goal was to paste a fake smile on my face and survive dinner.
At the sound of the doorbell, my pulse spiked. On the bright side, dinner with
the OC neighbors might distract me for an hour or two. When Mom yelled for me,
I grudgingly put down my book and walked out of the room. Seeing Stephie was in
her room with her friend Hannah, I waved. Lucky her. She wasn’t expected to
march downstairs to entertain the neighbors’ son.

By the time I got to the kitchen,
Stephen was at the bar mixing drinks—something I had never seen him do.
Stephen drank wine and beer, not hard liquor. Standing next to him was a tall
man, who was laughing too loudly as he slapped Stephen on the back. I watched
as he knocked back whatever Stephen had just handed him. Lisa, the OC
housewife, was already sitting at the counter with a glass of red wine. I saw
Mom cringe as the woman took a can of lemon lime soda and poured some into the
glass with the wine before stirring it with her finger. Turning, I saw that the
TV in the great room was on, and there was someone on the couch watching a
basketball game.

“Josh! Come over here and meet
Alexis,” Lisa chastised.

I cringed inwardly, feeling like I
was in elementary school on a play date. Watching as the neighbors’ son rose
from the couch, I forced my smile into place even as my stomach somersaulted.
He was good looking in a bland sort of way, but he had second-floor asshole
written all over him. His brown eyes were narrowed like he was sizing me up,
and his square jaw made him look like a caveman to me.

“Josh, this is Alexis.”

“Hi,” I said with a small wave.

He walked up and took my hand when
I offered it. When his middle finger slid across my palm, I jerked back. He smirked
at me, and I realized that this guy made Ryan’s friend James look like a
charming specimen.

“I was telling Alexis earlier that
you would show her around Irvine,” his mother cooed like I was five years old.

“You going to school up north?” he
asked in a disinterested way.

I nodded and tried to think of
something to say.

“Did you like San Diego?”

He shrugged and looked back toward
the TV. Digging my fingernails into my palm, I wished I could go back upstairs
and finish my book without looking rude. But Mom would die of embarrassment if
I did that. For being such a “free spirit,” she was kind of obsessed with good
manners, and I’d never hear the end of it if I just walked away.

During dinner, I avoided saying
much, which was easy, mostly because Lisa and Charles Wilt never shut up. They
talked about their cars, their vacations, and their beach house in San Diego.
In fact, I was surprised that “Chuck” Wilt didn’t just come out and say how
much money he made as partner at his law firm. By the time everyone got up and
went into the living room for dessert, I offered to do the dishes. Mom had made
an epic mess as usual, and I figured her kitchen disaster would keep me busy
until they left. I expected Mom to give me grief for hanging out in the
kitchen, but I was pretty sure that even she didn’t want to deal with her own
mess tonight. It took me nearly an hour to clean up, and I stopped by the
living room just as the Wilts were leaving. I smiled, said the usual
nice to me you
,
and nodded when Mom and Lisa said—again—that Josh
should show me around.

“Alexis, why don’t you give him
your cell phone number?”

Okay. Now I wanted to
fucking
kill Mom. What the hell? Couldn’t she just leave it?
Josh Wilt looked about enthusiastic as I did, which was a relief. I rattled off
my number, scowling when Mom added the area code from Santa Monica, which I had
conveniently omitted.

Feeling annoyed and over-parented,
I went and got my jacket from upstairs and told Mom and Stephen that I was
going for a walk around the block. When Mom gave me her worried face, I pressed
my lips together.

“That’s why you guys moved here,
right? Good schools, safe to walk around the block?” I forced a smile. “I’ll be
back in fifteen minutes.”

I walked outside and sighed.
Patting my pockets, I remembered that I didn’t even have a key to the front
door. I … was a guest. Checking the weather on my phone, I saw that it was
supposed to be in the eighties by tomorrow. I scrolled to Julie’s number and
walked up the street.

“How goes it?” she asked.

“Needed a fucking break from my
visit back to fifth grade,” I sighed.

“No shit, right? My mother’s been
trying to have ‘the talk’ with me about my attitude, so I’m on my way to visit
friends in SF. There’s an eighties night at an all ages club.”

“I’m jealous. My mom’s trying to
get the neighbor guy to show me around Irvine.”

Julie cackled.

“Is he a horrid freak?”

“Not exactly, but he would fit in
quite well on the second floor of Mercer.”

“So, he’s a dick …”

“Yup. Totally.”

“How are you doing otherwise?”

I sat down on the curb at the end
of the street.

“Fine.”

“Really?”

“No. My ribs still hurt a little,
and I can’t stop thinking about him.
But enough about my
bullshit.
Have you talked to Chris since break?”

There was a pause.

“Um, he’s kinda coming with
tonight.”

“Fuck, Julie! Why didn’t you tell
me? That is awesome!”

“Alex, hold on.
My
friend’s on the other line.
Can I call you back?”

“No, it’s okay. Drive safe. I’ll
see you after break.”

I ended the call and put the phone
back in my pocket before walking toward the house. Passing by the Wilts’ house,
I looked at the shiny Mustang parked in the driveway. Then I saw an ember
burning in the dark right before the neighbor stepped into the light. Why
didn’t it surprise me that he was a smoker?

“There’s a party later tonight.”

I couldn’t tell if he was just
conferring general information or inviting me, but I shook my head anyway.

“I don’t think I’m up for it.”

“Come on.”

“Really, I’m still kind of messed
up from the accident.”

“What accident?”

I blinked. Wow. To my embarrassment,
Mom had made a big deal about my accident during dinner, but obviously Josh
Wilt had been on his iPhone the entire time.

“Some asshole ran a red and hit me
before the break,” I shrugged. “Fractured two ribs.”

I stopped talking. I didn’t even
know why I was bothering telling this guy anything. He didn’t give a shit.
Kinda
of like Ryan. Then I frowned. Ryan didn’t deserve to
be compared to this jerk. He might have taken off, but Ryan wasn’t a total
dick.

“What’d they give you for it?”

“Give me for it?”

“Painkillers,” he said like I was
stupid.

“I don’t know. It made me throw up
the first time I took it, though.”

“You have any you can spare?”

I looked at him blankly and then
tried to hide my disgust.

“Sorry.”

Hearing the front door of our
house open, I started walking.
Creepy fucking neighbor guy.
And he was applying to law schools? Scary thought. Mom smiled, the worry lines
on her forehead disappearing when she saw me.

“You want some chocolate tart?”

I nodded and followed her into the
kitchen. We sat up talking, and for a while it felt like old times … until Mom
started checking her Facebook updates. I kissed her on the cheek and went back
to my room to finish my book. By the time I turned off the light and crawled
back into bed, I felt the tears gathering in the corner of my eyes, and I knew
I was going to dream about him. I knew I was going to wake up craving to see
Ryan Bennett’s face. And as hard as I tried, I knew I wasn’t going to be able
to forget about him.

The rest of the week passed by
quickly, and I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or panicked by the thought of
going back to school. I tried to keep busy. I ran a few back-to-school errands—including
an ill-advised purchase at the mall. I checked to make sure I was registered
for classes. Then I drove out to the coast again, but I hit a gnarly traffic
jam thanks to the nicer weather. After that, I decided that hanging out in the
back yard was a better option. I wasn’t looking for a tan, just some warm
weather.

Toward the end of the week I
started getting more and more neurotic and clingy. I went to the grocery store
with Mom; I drove Stephie to her ballet lesson; I hung out in Stephen’s office
asking him tech questions. Finally I realized that I was afraid to go back to
school. I didn’t want to face the way things had ended with Ryan. I didn’t want
to face the fact that I had closed my eyes that day in the hospital and then he
had just disappeared from my life forever.

On Friday morning, I tried to go
out for a run. With everyone else gone, Mom couldn’t cluck at me and tell me to
take it easy. Plus, I was looking forward to staying in the shower as long as I
wanted since this was the most privacy I would have for the next two and a half
months.

When I got outside, the sky was a
crisp, sharp blue, and it was hot. Still, it felt weird to be in a sleeveless
shirt, particularly after the past two months of wearing jackets and jeans at
school. I jogged slowly, relieved that my ribs didn’t ache as much as at the
beginning of the break. After a few minutes, I realized that the cheerful,
bright weather was making me feel worse, and what I really wanted to wallow in
rainy weather.

The neighborhood was empty, like
everyone except me had better things to be doing. I managed to jog a few more
blocks before developing a searing stitch in my side. Slowing to a walk, I headed
back to the house and let myself in through the back gate. Walking around the
patio, I realized I hadn’t been in my parents’ pool once since they had moved
in. The water was crystal clear and blue, and for a second I thought about just
stripping out of my clothes and jumping in. But I just knew that the second
I got naked
,
someone would come home
.
Worse, that someone could end up being Stephen. Awkward.

Going over to the sliding door, I
frowned when I saw it was ajar. I was positive that I had closed it. Sliding it
all the way open, I stepped inside and looked around. The door to Stephen’s
office was open, which was weird, because he always shut and locked it.

“Stephen? Mom?”

I heard a rustling sound and
started walking toward the office just as Josh Wilt stepped out holding
Stephen’s brand new laptop, Mom’s jewelry box, and a duffle bag loaded with
other stuff. He smirked at me, and I froze. Oh shit. He was a fucking junky.
That
was why he had been asking about my
pain meds the other night.

Turning, I ran for the sliding
door, but my foot caught on the area rug, and I fell forward, jarring my arm.
Before I could get up, my crazy asshole of a neighbor grabbed me around the
waist and hauled me across the room, tossing me onto the sectional. He was on
me in an instant, squeezing my ribs so hard that I screamed.

“Does this hurt, Alexis?”

“Fuck you!” I hissed.

My eyes widened as he took out a
small knife and ran it down the center of my chest, bringing his face up near
my ear. Hearing the motor on the garage door, I struggled, and he pressed down
on my chest, leveraging himself off the couch.

“Careful. Tell anyone I was here,
and I’ll come back and we can continue this conversation. Maybe later tonight,”
he smiled.

He calmly picked up Stephen’s
laptop and Mom’s jewelry box and shoved them into the duffle bag as he walked
out, looking over his shoulder at me before the door to the laundry room
opened. I watched as he jumped the fence back onto his property. Then, wiping away
my tears, I lifted myself very carefully off the couch.