Classic Snacks Made from Scratch (12 page)

Chances are you don’t have a high-powered extruder to shoot wet corn dough into fluffy rings, so we’re going to improvise with pre-puffed corn cereal and a little carbonation. Make sure to roll your dough as thin as possible, or you’ll end up with Funyun funnel cakes instead of crispy chips.

YIELD:
about 3 dozen rings

TOTAL TIME:
30 minutes

DIFFICULTY:
2

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT:
food processor, electric deep fryer (or a large pot and a candy/oil thermometer), pizza or pastry cutter

4 cups unsweetened puffed corn cereal

2 tablespoons corn flour, plus more for dusting

1 tablespoon onion powder

1 tablespoon buttermilk powder (see
page 12
)

1 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon granulated sugar

1/4 to 1/3 cup cold beer or chilled sparkling water

vegetable or canola oil for frying

INSTRUCTIONS:

Using a food processor, grind the puffed corn into powder. After about 30 to 45 seconds of whirring, there will still be a few chunks left, but most of the cereal should be pulverized.

Add the 2 tablespoons corn flour, onion powder, buttermilk powder, garlic powder, salt, and sugar, and pulse for 5 seconds to combine. With the food processor turned on, drizzle the beer or sparkling water through the feed tube just until a rough dough forms; you may not need the entire ⅓ cup of liquid.

Transfer the dough to a work surface dusted with corn flour and shape it into a disc. Let the dough rest for 5 minutes.

Heat at least 2 inches of vegetable or canola oil to 375°F in an electric deep fryer or large, high-sided pot. Line a large baking sheet with paper towels and top with an upside-down wire cooling rack (see Deep Frying 101,
page 188
).

Divide the dough into quarters and roll one of the pieces into a rough 4-inch square approximately 1/8 inch thick. Use a pizza or pastry cutter to slice the dough square into 1/2-inch strips, then press the ends of each strip together to
form a ring. Repeat the rolling and cutting process with the remaining dough.

Fry the rings in the hot oil until the rings are golden and the bubbling around the edges has mostly subsided. Frying time will vary depending on the size of your equipment, so watch carefully. Transfer the fried rings to the prepared baking sheet with heatproof tongs or a metal skimmer or strainer to cool.

Serve fresh; the rings will become soggy after a day or two.

Here’s a riddle to beat “Which came first—the chicken or the egg?” and “Why did the chicken cross the road?” If no one will admit to liking Chicken in a Biskit crackers—and believe me, I asked my friends around the world on Facebook and Twitter but could find nary a fan—then who’s buying them? The crackers have been a mainstay on the snack shelves since the ’60s, and I can’t be the only person keeping the dream alive for Nabisco. Well, I’ll say it loud and proud: I love chicken-flavored crackers, no matter how weird it may seem. For all the closeted Chicken in a Biskit fans out there, this one’s for you.

YIELD:
about 7 dozen crackers

TOTAL TIME:
45 minutes

DIFFICULTY:
2

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT:
food processor or stand mixer, fluted pastry cutter

1/4 cup vegetable oil

2 large eggs

2 cups (8-1/2 ounces) unbleached all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon granulated sugar

1-1/2 teaspoons buttermilk powder (see
page 12
)

1-1/2 teaspoons natural chicken bouillon powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more for sprinkling

4 tablespoons (2 ounces) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes

INSTRUCTIONS:

Preheat the oven to 400°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper or Silpat liners.

Whisk the vegetable oil and eggs together in a small bowl; set aside.

In a food processor or the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, stir together the flour, sugar, buttermilk powder, bouillon, baking soda, and 1/2 teaspoon salt for a few seconds until combined.

Add the butter cubes and pulse in 3-second on/off turns in the food processor or stir at medium speed with the stand mixer until a crumbly dough forms, resembling moist cornmeal. Add the oil and egg mixture and continue to pulse/stir until a soft dough forms.

Transfer the dough to a floured surface and shape into 4 discs. Dust one of the discs liberally with flour and roll it into a rough 10 by 5-inch rectangle no more than 1/8 inch thick. (Make it as thin as you can, since the crackers will puff up
when baked.) Slice into 2-1/2 by 1-inch rectangles using a fluted pastry cutter, or cut your own cracker shapes with cookie cutters. Transfer the crackers to a prepared baking sheet.

Repeat the rolling and cutting process with the rest of the dough. Poke holes in the crackers using a toothpick or cocktail fork, then sprinkle them with kosher salt.

Bake for 6 to 8 minutes, until hints of golden brown appear around the edges. Watch carefully! Transfer the baked crackers to a wire rack and let cool completely.

Store the crackers at room temperature in an airtight container for up to a week.

Scientists say almost 75 percent of our sense of taste is determined by what we smell, but what about the things we hear? The jingle of the ice cream truck and the squeak of the convenience store freezer lid are as inextricably tied to the pleasures of a Creamsicle or Strawberry Shortcake bar as the first icy bite.

Now you can add the crack of your own freezer door to that soundscape. Make a batch of ice cream treats and see how long they last. Or drive slowly around the neighborhood with your own jingle blasting from the stereo—may I suggest a little Katy Perry?—and watch kids come a-running.

KLONDIKE BARS

VANILLA ICE CREAM SANDWICHES

NEAPOLITAN ICE CREAM SANDWICHES

TOASTED ALMOND BARS

CHOCOLATE ÉCLAIR BARS

STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE BARS

PUDDING POPS

CREAMSICLES

FUDGSICLES

Yep, here’s another junk food you probably didn’t realize had roots in western Pennsylvania. Isaly Dairy Company invented the Klondike and started producing the chocolate-coated bars in Pittsburgh and Youngstown, Ohio, at the beginning of the 20th century. They were a regional treat until the 1980s, when the slogan “What would you do for a Klondike bar?” invaded the nation’s consciousness and the crispy, creamy treats spread to supermarket freezers throughout the country.

Interested in learning more about treats that got their start in Pittsburgh?
Klondikes, Chipped Ham & Skyscraper Cones: The Story of Isaly’s
by Brian Butko is a fascinating read for all us ’Burgh foodies.

YIELD:
9 bars

TOTAL TIME:
2 hours, plus 8 hours chilling time

DIFFICULTY:
4

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT:
ice cream maker

VANILLA ICE CREAM

3 cups light cream or whipping cream

1/2 cup (3-1/2 ounces) granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

CHOCOLATE SHELL

1/2 cup coconut oil

8 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped (a scant 1-1/3 cups)

4 ounces milk chocolate, coarsely chopped (a scant ⅔ cup)

MAKE THE VANILLA ICE CREAM:

Bring the cream to a bare simmer in a 1-quart saucepan over medium-low heat, just until it is steaming and small bubbles form around the edges. Remove from the heat and whisk in the sugar and vanilla until the sugar is fully dissolved.

Transfer to a bowl, cover, and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, or until fully chilled (or use the quick-cool method,
page 188
).

Freeze the chilled ice cream base in an ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions. When the freeze cycle is finished, the ice cream will have the consistency of soft serve. Spread it evenly in a 9-inch square freezer-safe baking dish (metal or Pyrex are just fine) and freeze for at least 4 more hours, until fully hardened.

MAKE THE CHOCOLATE SHELL:

Heat the coconut oil in a heavy-bottomed saucepan over low heat, stirring frequently, until fully melted. Add both chocolates and stir constantly until they are melted, taking off the heat as necessary to ensure they don’t burn and letting the residual pan heat melt the chocolate. Let the melted chocolate cool enough that it’s still liquid but won’t melt the ice cream at first contact.

Alternatively, the chocolate mixture can be made in advance and stored in a heatproof pint canning jar in the refrigerator for up to 1 month. To re-liquefy, bring the jar to room temperature, then heat water in a saucepan until it’s as warm as bathwater. Set the open jar upright in the warm water, making sure the water level stays below the lip of the jar, and stir until the chocolate warms and liquefies.

ASSEMBLE THE BARS:

Line a rimmed baking sheet with waxed paper and set a wire cooling rack on top of the paper, within the “walls” of the baking sheet.

Slice the hardened vanilla ice cream into 9 blocks, 3 inches square, and place them on the wire rack. Working quickly, spoon chocolate over the blocks to coat the tops. If the chocolate shell doesn’t completely cover the sides, don’t worry about it. Place the entire baking sheet and rack in the freezer for 15 minutes to harden the chocolate shell.

Remove from the freezer, flip over the half-covered blocks, and spoon chocolate onto the exposed ice cream side. At this point, the entire block should be covered in chocolate. Return the sheet to the freezer for 15 more minutes. When the shell is fully hardened, the Klondike bars can be individually wrapped in foil or waxed paper.

Store the bars in the freezer in an airtight container for up to a month.

OPTIONAL:

To make Klondike Krunch bars, place 1/2 cup Rice Krispies in a zip-top bag, seal, and coarsely crush using a rolling pin or your hands. Sprinkle the crushed cereal on each side of the ice cream squares before spooning on the chocolate.

According to the
New York Times
, the ice cream sandwich has been around since 1899, when it was a pushcart delicacy for Lower Manhattan kids. Whatever the time or place, the moment of tearing the paper open and biting into the mushy cake and airy ice cream remains transcendental—an experience shared by everyone from street urchins straight out of
Newsies
to bored suburban tweens at the swimming pool. Let’s all unwrap one now and raise a sandwich in thanks to those pre–Good Humor geniuses—without you, we’d never know the pleasure of using our teeth to scrape stubbornly sticky chocolate bits from our fingers.

YIELD:
10 sandwiches

TOTAL TIME:
1 hour 15 minutes, plus chilling time

DIFFICULTY:
3

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT:
stand mixer, ice cream maker, pastry or pizza cutter, offset spatula

ICE CREAM

3 cups light cream or whipping cream

1/2 cup (3-1/2 ounces) granulated sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

SANDWICH COOKIES

1-1/2 cups (6-3/8 ounces) unbleached all-purpose flour

1/2 cup (1-1/2 ounces) unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1 pinch kosher salt

8 tablespoons (4 ounces) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes

1 cup (7 ounces) granulated sugar

1 large egg

MAKE THE ICE CREAM BASE:

Bring the cream to a bare simmer in a 1-quart saucepan over medium-low heat, just until it is steaming and small bubbles form around the edges. Remove from the heat and whisk in the sugar and vanilla until the sugar is fully dissolved.

Transfer to a bowl, cover, and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, until fully chilled (or use the quick-cool method,
page 188
).

MAKE THE SANDWICH COOKIES:

Preheat the oven to 325°F. Cut a sheet of parchment paper and a sheet of waxed paper large enough to fit your baking sheet.

Whisk the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt together in a small bowl until well blended and uniform in color.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter and sugar together on medium speed for 3 to 4 minutes, until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, add the egg, and stir on low speed for 30 seconds, until thoroughly combined. Add the dry ingredients until just incorporated into a sticky dough, scraping down the bowl halfway through to make sure everything is homogenous.