Chasing Cassidy (18 page)

This is where we’re finally going to find out why my mom is the way she is. I’m not sure if I’m ready for this but it seems my dad needs to get this out and talk to someone and I’m happy it’s me.

“Shortly after she got pregnant with you and Rylee, we were ecstatic. When we found out we were having twins, she immediately dragged me to the store so we could start decorating. Even though she said she wanted it to be a surprise, your mother was adamant she felt like we were having one of each and she shopped accordingly.”

He laughs heartily with the happy memory and I’m glad to know we were wanted. I never felt like we weren’t but it’s always good to hear.

“During her pregnancy, she and your grandmother butted heads more than usual and due to your mother’s hormones, they had quite a few heated discussions. Your grandmother insisted on a wet nurse, a nanny, a midwife, and a home birth,
all
of which your mother adamantly declined. At first, your mom tried to do it all but we did eventually end up with a nanny. In the beginning, your mom still did most of it and only got the nanny when you were both demanding things at the same time. But as you got older, your grandmother pushed and pushed until you spent more time with the nanny, and your mom spent more time with your grandmother doing all the things Stafford wives are supposed to do.”

We both glance over at Cassidy and I swear she is about ten shades paler than she was a few minutes ago. This is the kind of stuff that terrifies her. I shoot my dad a pleading look to correct himself and he does.

“I’ve never understood why the Stafford women were expected to fill their lives with charitable events and social functions. That is why, no matter how much your mother and grandmother pushed, I never let them pull Rylee into that world. She needs to make her own choices, and to some extent, so do you, Zack. When I die, the company will be yours and Rylee’s to run or to manage or even to sell if you choose to. You were raised knowing the legacy of the Stafford men and without any coercion, you followed along in all of our footsteps. Now that you’re on an indefinite leave of absence, you need to think about that and decide if this path is the right one for you. It’s your life and I want you to live it in a way that makes you happy. The company won’t fold if you’re not working for it or if you’re just contracting your services to it.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about that, actually, and I’m not sure what I want to do right now. I’ll let you know in the next few weeks what we decide. So, Dad, what happened after I left the wedding?”

“Yes, the wedding… I was getting to that. Over the years, your mother began to emulate my mother. Not as severe but close enough to leave a bad taste in my mouth. For all her faults, I still love your mother to pieces. And her coolness typically doesn’t extend into the bedroom at night or when we’re alone together. The woman I love is still in there, she just buries herself under a tough exterior when people are around. I’ve put it up with it for years because I love her and she’s doing what she thinks is best, so I let a lot of things go.

“Cassidy, I really had no clue she was treating you so poorly. In fact, I didn’t know the extent of it all until Zack left the church. Priscilla snapped and I don’t necessarily think it was because of the wedding. I think it’s from years of burying the person she really wants to be. She’s hiding under a shield of her own creation. To say I was shocked to find out she had been treating you worse than my mother treated her is an understatement. I let her know how very disappointed in her I was and told her, in no uncertain terms, that she is to leave the two of you alone to figure out your own life. We argued about some things I’ll circle back to in a moment and then we argued about us. After all these years, I called her out on her coolness and lack of affection. Told her I missed the sweet and kind girl I fell in love with and let her know that although I’m still very much in love with her, I’d rather have the version of her I fell in love with back in my arms.”

A hushed silence settles over us as the moon begins to peek out in the sky. My heart aches for my dad. To lose the woman he loves, but technically not lose her at all, must be difficult.

“This is all my fault, Mr. Stafford, I’m so very sorry.” Cassidy sobs and finally breaks down. My father, being the man he is, circles around and pulls her into his embrace.

“Cassidy, this has nothing to do with you. This has to do with my wife and
her
issues. And please, for the love of God, how many times do I need to ask you to call me Paul?” I watch as he strokes her back and hugs her while she cries it all out. Another step. Something Cassidy never had—the unconditional love of a parent.

After a while, she stops crying and my dad releases her, taking his seat again. “We are all victims of circumstance and some of us have better circumstances than others, but we are all affected by our own demons. This next part of the story is not something I want either of you to feel badly about or reflect back on with sadness. It is part of our family history and Priscilla dealt with it as she saw fit. Some of it I was aware of and other parts I was not, and while I don’t agree with her keeping any of us in the dark about it, it was ultimately her choice.

He stretches out in his chair and finishes off his beer before speaking. “All through your childhood, Priscilla and I knew your parents were alcoholics. Rylee and Zack adored you and so did we by the time we found out. As parents, you have to find a balance with your children’s friends. Decide how much time they can spend together and when they should be apart. Sometime around Rylee and Zack’s seventh birthday, Priscilla went to speak with your mother. The details of why escape me, but needless to say, that’s when she found out about your parents’ drinking problem.”

Cassidy’s hand is trembling in mine. Knowing she needs extra comfort, I pull her into my lap as my dad continues.

“When Priscilla came home from your house, we talked a lot. We decided right then and there that we would take you under our wing as much as we could without pushing any boundaries. When you have absent parents, they rarely know what you’re doing so we banked on that and on their willingness to let you go on trips and such with us to give them a break. I’ll be the first to admit there was probably more we could have done. We could have reported them to child protective services but as long as you were visiting daily, we assumed you were safe. You were Zack and Rylee’s best friend and we thought interfering might have caused more harm than good.”

With a sigh, he runs his hands through his hair and paces for a moment before sitting back down. “It wasn’t until the night you two were mugged that we found out the whole truth. Cassidy, I understand why you couldn’t, but I wish you had told us he was beating you. I would have moved heaven and earth to get you into our custody.”

“How… how did you know?” she stutters, completely stunned.

“Priscilla came back to the hospital that night to try and convince Zack to come home. When she was standing outside, your room the door was cracked and she heard Zack talking to you while you were unconscious. It had been a long time since I’d seen her show emotion but that night she came home and cried. Knowing what had been happening to you triggered something in her. We spent the night talking and decided to talk to you both about it when you were feeling better. It took everything we had to trust Zack knew what he was doing and not go to the police to report it.”

“So you knew he was the one who beat me that night, too.” My question is really just a statement. A few things are starting to make a lot more sense now.

“Yes, and I was hoping you’d talk to me about it. You usually talk to me about everything, so I figured there must be a good reason why you were keeping this so close to the vest. In any case, as time passed, Priscilla and I noticed Cassidy was practically living at the house so we decided to let it go unless something else happened. At the wedding, she did admit that around this time she started dropping hints to you that maybe you weren’t the one for Zack. I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry. Apparently, she was concerned your parents would become an embarrassing issue. Yet, at the same time, she still loved you and wanted you as part of the family. She hadn’t fully decided yet if you and Zack should or shouldn’t be together, she just knew if she planted enough hints maybe you would make the decision for her.”

Wow, I can’t believe all of this goes back so far and my parents knew so much more than I ever gave them credit for.

“After your college graduation, your father paid Priscilla a visit. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but it probably doesn’t come as a surprise that he had dwindled away your inheritance by then. He proposed a deal of sorts. He said he wouldn’t ever come to any functions should the two of you get married and have kids and he’d stay completely out of your life. And he also said he wouldn’t go to the media and tell his side of the story about how you and Zack attacked him that night.”

“What?! That’s a bold-faced lie! He threw me on the ground and broke my wrist and when Zack tried to help me he… he… oh, god!” Cassidy’s body is wracked with sobs and as I try to calm her down, I explain to my dad what really happened that night and how we have video evidence to back it up.

“Son, it doesn’t matter now, anyway. He wanted a payoff and he got one. Priscilla had non-disclosure agreements drawn up and John signed the document stating he would stay away from Cassidy and our family, as well as never talk to anyone about that night.

“What did he get?” The venomous tone in Cassidy’s voice kills me. Money doesn’t matter to us but it’s going to be an issue for her.

“Ten million dollars,” my dad states calmly and comes around behind us, placing a kiss on Cassidy’s head.

“I’d pay it ten times over to keep him out of your life, Cassidy. It was a small price to pay. You’re upset and you have every right to be, but I’ve considered you a daughter for a very long time and I’d pay anything to protect my children.

“That son of a bitch!” she screams, jumping up and pacing like a mad woman. “All my life he treated me as though I was unworthy of love, spent my money on his destruction, and then extorted the only people who loved me for his personal gain. I get that he had a horrible childhood and his demons were too big to fight. If
anyone
understands that, it’s me.”

She falls to the grass, holding her head in her hands, and just cries. My heart aches for her but this time, I think she needs to cry it out on her own. I’m shocked my mom would pay him off but I’m not surprised he asked. Not in the least.

Once Cassidy has had some time to cry it all out, I carefully approach her and reach out my hand to help her up. As she stands, she wipes away her tears and trudges back over to the table.

“I’m sorry I lost my temper,” she says sadly.

My dad flashes her a smile. “No apologies needed. I understand how frustrating this must be for you. It’s getting late, let me finish filling you both in and I’ll be on my way. I’m sure you’ll have a lot of talking to do.”

I think that is a severe understatement.

“After Priscilla paid off John, she got it into her head that this wouldn’t be the last we’d hear from him no matter what he had signed. Now, not only was she worried about your past rearing its ugly head, but she paid him off and she was sure it would all come out eventually. She’s probably not wrong. Secrets don’t usually stay secret but families deal with secrets all the time. She used her knowledge of your past and fear of being exposed herself to justify all the nasty things she said and did to you. I don’t condone it and I can’t for the life of me understand it. She was so convinced everything she did and said to you was justified. When it was all out in the open, I just couldn’t stay any longer… I had to get out of the church. I’ve loved Priscilla with my whole heart almost from the moment I set eyes on her, but what she did to you is an unforgivable sin. Especially after we brought you into our lives and treated you as one of our own for the last twenty years.”

I’ve never seen my dad this choked up, not
ever
.

“Cassidy, the fact that she put you through all this makes me wonder how easily she would throw our own children under the bus. In any case, this is the reason I’m here. Not only did I need time away, but I needed to make sure you understood Priscilla was wrong. You are a part of our family, Cassidy, and I’d be honored if you’d make it official by keeping your promise and marrying Zack. I’d also be honored if you’d let me walk you down the aisle when the time comes.”

“I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you for telling us your story. I know it wasn’t easy. And thank you for accepting me into your family, it means the world to me. If Zack and I have another ceremony I’d love for you to walk me down the aisle.”

“If?” we both question her in unison.

“How about when?” I ask, prompting her gently.

“When,” she replies softly with a smile.

“Dad, does this mean you and Mom are getting a divorce?” My dad has always been my inspiration for true love. I don’t want to think about them not making it.

“Honestly, Zack, I just don’t know. She’d have to make a lot of changes and a lot of apologies in order to keep me around. I’m not sure if your mother has it in her to admit she’s been wrong.”

“She does,” Cassidy remarks confidently and we both turn to her. “It sounds to me like Priscilla got lost and fell into your mother’s way of thinking more than she ever thought she could. But if she’s still the adoring woman with you at night that she was all those years ago, she just needs a little bit of help finding her way back to us all.”

“Us?” we both ask again in unison and Cassidy laughs at us.

“Yes, us. Zack, you know I don’t hold grudges. If I can forgive my dad for all he’s done to me, I can forgive Priscilla for doing what she thought was right. But both of you listen to me good. If my dad comes back and asks
anyone
for a dime of money and someone gives it to him, heads are gonna roll.”

There’s my girl—rough and tough and yet forgiving as all hell.