Charming the Firefighter (18 page)

“You’re on the pill?” he asked hopefully.

“No, I—I can’t have any more children.” Had chosen not to after Andrew was diagnosed, hadn’t wanted to bring another child into a home where so much focus was on one child already. She’d wanted Andrew to have her full attention and commitment.

“I’m sorry,” Leo said.

She lifted her chin. “It was a choice I made.” She felt sorry enough for herself, and she didn’t need or want his sympathy.

“No.” His voice was low and husky. “I mean, yeah, I’m sorry for that, too, because it’s obvious you were born to be a mother. You’re a good one. I’m sorry about... Christ, Penelope, I took you against the wall. I was rough.”

“I didn’t stop you.” Hadn’t even considered doing so, truth be told. It was flattering and amazing that she was able to make him lose that much control. And frightening he had the same power over her. “It was...”

“Amazing.”

She couldn’t help it. She smiled at him. “Yes.”

“Listen,” Leo said, buttoning his jeans. “Why don’t we get cleaned up and dressed? I’ll take you out—”

“Mom?” The kitchen door slammed shut. “Mom, you down here?”

Penelope’s eyes widened, her stomach turned. Andrew. Dear Lord, what on earth was he doing home so early?

Frantic, she looked around, spotted her panties behind Leo. She made a mad dash for them, shoved them into the pocket of her robe as Andrew’s voice grew louder.

“Mom? Is that Coach’s car in the driveway?”

Panicked, sick with dread, she yanked her robe closed, but there was little she could do about her hair or Leo’s state of undress. She scanned the doorway to the living room. Maybe they could sneak—

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Too late.

Trying for composed, Penelope faced her son. Tried to smile, but it died a slow and painful death at the glower on his face, at the way he stared at Leo.

“Honey.” She swallowed but it still felt as if she had to throw up. “Leo and I were... We didn’t...” She looked to Leo for help, but that only made things worse as he was as disheveled as she was, minus his shirt, his chest smooth and muscled. A clear reminder of how she’d lost her head.

A clear confession of what they’d been doing.

* * *

F
OR
ONE
LONG
,
breathless moment, Andrew couldn’t figure out what he was seeing. It didn’t compute. Coach was in his dining room in nothing but a pair of jeans while his mom...he could hardly look at her because her hair was messy, her robe open, and under it, all she wore was a nightgown.

Bile rose in Andrew’s throat. No. No, no, no. It was wrong. Wrong and disgusting. That was his mother, for God’s sake, not some bimbo off the street.

What the hell?

“You son of a bitch,” he growled and leaped at Coach, knocking him back a good two feet. It was like running into one of those 250-pound linebackers on the team. Still, Andrew didn’t give up or give in. Coach had to pay. Andrew shoved him, hard, with two hands, pleased when Coach stepped back again.

“Andrew,” his mom gasped, her tone horrified. Good, she should be horrified. She should be ashamed. “Stop that! Have you lost your mind?”

“I’ll kill you,” Andrew snarled. “I’ll rip your head off, you bastard!”

He swung wildly, hoping to knock a few of Leo’s teeth loose, but the coach ducked. “Don’t do anything you’ll regret,” Leo said in that calm tone he used at practice when he was trying to get his point across. “Let’s sit down and we can discuss—”

“Discuss what?” Andrew yelled. “Discuss that you’re at my house at seven o’clock on a Sunday morning? That you obviously spent the night here? That you’re screwing my mother?”

His mom made a sound, like he’d punched her in the stomach, but Andrew ignored it. She deserved it. She was the one always harping about responsibility and being careful not to sleep around with anyone, safe sex and all that entailed, about waiting for the right person. And now she was hooking up with the coach?

Un-freaking-believable.

“Watch your step,” Leo said in a low, dark tone Andrew had never heard from him before. “And your mouth. Your mom deserves better than that. She deserves to be respected.”

“Is that what you’re doing?” Andrew spat. “Respecting her? Because from here, it looks like you’re fu—”

Leo grabbed Andrew by the upper arms and shook him. Hard. Andrew’s teeth snapped together and he tried to yank free but couldn’t.

“Leo,” Penelope cried, rushing over to try to break them up. “No.”

But Coach wasn’t listening to her. His eyes were on Andrew, his gaze hard and cold. “You don’t speak about your mother that way,” he said, his voice dangerously quiet. “You hear me? You don’t speak about any woman that way.”

Shame filled Andrew. Tears stung his eyes. He wasn’t in the wrong here. They were. They were the ones sneaking around, acting like teenagers. They didn’t care what he thought, what he wanted.

He lifted his hands, tried again to break Leo’s hold. “Get off me.”

His humiliation and frustration grew when Leo let go and Andrew realized he wouldn’t have been able to get free unless Leo had wanted him to.

“Andrew,” his mom said, her voice shaky, tears in her eyes. She should feel shaky. She should feel horrible. “I’m sorry. So sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Leo asked, frowning at her. “He comes in here acting like a brat and you’re apologizing?”

She shot him a hard glance. “Leo, please—”

“Forget it,” Andrew said, stalking to the door. “I’m out of here.”

“Andrew,” his mom called, chasing after him. “Wait. Don’t you walk away,” she said as if she had any right to tell him what to do. “Andrew? Come back here.”

He slammed the door behind him, then raced across the yard to Gracie’s house. He couldn’t bear seeing or talking to anyone in her family so he skirted the front door and climbed the trellis to her window. He’d done it many times over the past few weeks, always late at night when their parents were sleeping. They’d made out a few times, yeah, but they’d also talked. A lot. He’d even told her about when he’d been sick. He tapped on the glass.
Please be home,
he prayed.
Please.
He waited, then tapped again.

A moment later, she appeared, her hair messy, sleep marks on her face. She lifted the window. “Andrew? What...” She frowned as if noticing something was up. “Are you okay?”

He shook his head. “Can I...can I come in?”

“Of course.”

She backed up and he climbed in and waited by her bed while she shut the window. She was in a tank top and yoga pants that clung to her curves. “Can I get you something?”

“No. Thanks. I just... Can I stay here? Just for a little while?” Until he figured out what his next step was, where he’d go, what he’d do.

Her expression was soft and sympathetic. “Of course. Come on,” she added, sliding into bed. She opened her arms and he didn’t hesitate. He sat with his back against the headboard and pulled her into his arms and just held her.

* * *

“W
HERE
ARE
YOU
GOING
?”

Penelope whirled around to gape at Leo. “To find my son, of course.”

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair. “You don’t even know where he went.”

Did he have to sound so reasonable? So calm? “He’s probably heading to Luke’s or with that girl he’s been seeing...Jamie or Jodi or something.”

“Honey, come sit down,” Leo said, taking her arm and gently leading her to a chair. “You’re upset.”

“Yes, I’m upset. My son just walked in on me having sex.” Her voice sounded shrill and overly dramatic—the complete opposite of Leo’s. “Of course I’m upset!”

“He didn’t walk in on us having sex.”

“He could have.” And she hadn’t considered that possibility once. Hadn’t thought, for one second, what would happen if her son were to arrive home early. She’d been too focused on her own needs, on being with Leo.

It was all too much. The emotional roller coaster she was on, the way her body responded to making love with Leo, how out of control she’d been with him not ten minutes ago. Her feelings for Leo, her attraction to him, pushed her into taking chances, stupid risks with her life, her heart and now her son.

Leo knelt in front of her. “You’re in a nightgown and robe,” he said. “You’re not exactly dressed to scour the town for Andrew.”

That he had a point—and that he gently took her car keys from her—only fueled her ire. He went to brush her hair back and she slapped his hand away. “How can you act so calm after what happened?”

“It’s bad, yes. But it’s not the end of the world.”

“My son attacked you.” She’d never forget the look in Andrew’s eyes when he’d taken that swing at Leo, the way he’d glared at her as if she totally disgusted him. “He could have hurt you.”

“He lashed out at me, at both of us, trying to hurt us because he’s confused. And yes, angry. But we didn’t do this to him on purpose—we had no idea he’d be home early.” Leo paused and looked directly in her eyes—almost too directly. She wanted to look away. “He was wrong and acted badly. You need to stop taking responsibility for his choices. Stop feeling guilty for having your own life. Let him be responsible for his own actions and mistakes and especially for that shitty attitude. He had no right to talk to you like that. None.”

And Leo had stood up for her. She could appreciate it. Would have appreciated it if she didn’t suspect she’d deserved Andrew’s ugly words.

She was also surprised by Leo’s reaction. She’d never seen him be anything less than pleasant, patient and easygoing with anyone, yet within the space of five minutes, he’d manhandled her son and now sounded angry with her.

“We went too far,” she said wearily. “I’m trying to teach Andrew to be a good man, a good person. How can I expect him to listen to me, to be decent and caring, to wait and not have sex, or to always have protected sex, when I jumped into bed with you? When we both got so carried away like we did this morning?”

“You didn’t jump into bed with me,” Leo growled. “That’s your guilt talking.”

“Maybe.” Her head ached; her heart ached. “Or maybe it’s the honest truth, the realization of what I have to do.”

Leo’s eyes narrowed. “Which is?”

“I can’t hurt Andrew this way. I won’t. He’s been through enough.” She inhaled deeply. “I can’t... I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

F
URY
SWEPT
THROUGH
L
EO
. He was pissed at Andrew, yeah, but the kid had the excuse of being an idiot teenager. No, what really irritated him was Penelope being willing to indulge her son’s rotten behavior.

“I can’t believe you’re caving to Andrew’s tantrum,” he said from between his teeth. He straightened, his hands fisting. “Jesus, Penelope, be in charge for once.”

She flinched, but he wouldn’t take back his words, not when she needed to hear the truth. Then her eyes flashed and she, too, stood. “Funny, but it didn’t bother you when I caved over his desire to play football.”

He waved that aside. “That was different.”

“Really?” She crossed her arms, the look incredibly sexy with her mussed hair and gaping robe, the knowledge that her underwear was in her pocket. “How so?”

“Because that was something he wanted to do. Something that would help him focus and become a better person.”

“So putting on tight pants and bashing into other boys is character building?”

Leo’s jaw clenched at her snotty tone. “Damn right. With the right coach, the right teammates, it is. Youth athletics teach kids the importance of working together and putting in one hundred percent effort. They learn how to prioritize and manage their time. Giving in to Drew now only teaches him that he can push you around.”

She sighed, as if the fight had gone out of her. “I’m sorry. I just... I can’t. I can’t fight with him, I can’t stand to see him so upset. Not when I know there’s something I can do to stop it. And I can’t look him in the eye and tell him to respect the girls he goes out with when his own mother—who isn’t in a committed, long-term relationship—is having unprotected sex against the dining-room wall.”

“There’s a difference between what happened between us and a couple of kids fumbling around in the backseat of a car.” Unbelievable that she’d lump their experience, what just happened between them, in with teenagers experimenting and considering it all wrong, some sort of sin. “There’s a difference between two single, consenting adults—emphasis on the
adults
—having a monogamous sexual relationship and a couple of teenagers blindly following their hormones.”

“There’s a difference, yes, you and I know that. But Andrew doesn’t, and my first priority has to be my son.”

“I would never ask you to put me first,” Leo said, fearing he was close to losing something important, something he’d never have again if he let her push him out of her life. “I’m asking you to put yourself first. And maybe, just maybe, that you put us, as a couple, at least on equal footing with your son.”

“Don’t you see? I can’t.” Tears filled her eyes and it ripped him apart inside. “He’s suffered enough. He’s gone through what no child should have to, what no one should have to face, and he’s come out on the other side. Now it’s up to me to keep him safe. It’s my responsibility to make sure he reaches his potential. I have to focus on him. I have to do what’s best for him.”

Leo paced the length of the kitchen, wishing like hell he’d at least brought his shirt down. He could use a bit of armor about now. Stabbed a hand through his hair. “Look, don’t make any decisions now.” Especially ones that would affect both of them, ones that meant his having to walk away. “You’re upset. Andrew’s upset.
I’m
upset. Let’s just...take a step back. See how we feel about everything tomorrow.”

She nibbled her lower lip. “I don’t know...”

“I do. Please. I—I care about you. I want to see where this goes between us. I don’t want it to end. Not now. Not like this.”

He wasn’t sure he ever wanted it to end, but he’d never had that thought before, had never seriously considered forever when it came to any of the women he’d dated. He wanted to explain to her how he felt, but his feelings for her were so new, so fragile, he wasn’t sure what to say. How to tell her what was in his heart.

Especially when he was terrified she didn’t feel the same way.

What he needed was time. Time to see if his feelings for her were real and deep enough to last—strong enough for them to make their relationship work for the long haul, like his parents and his brothers and Maddie.

Time for him to convince her to take a chance on him despite all those negatives she had stacked against him. That orderly list of hers that told her they wouldn’t work, that they were too different, that she was Andrew’s mom and nothing else.

“Please,” he added quietly. “I’ll leave now, we’ll take a break for a few days, then we’ll see how we feel.”

She seemed unsure, so he did what he could to sway her to his way of thinking. He kissed her, kept the kiss gentle and warm until her mouth parted under his and she responded. His body reacted to the kiss, but he stepped away before he could take it deeper and hotter—mainly because he didn’t want Andrew coming back unannounced and catching them in the middle of a heated lip-lock.

He smiled, putting all of his charm into it. “Come on, Penelope. Don’t give up on us. Not yet. Not without a fight.”

She exhaled heavily, her breath washing over his chin. “A few days. You’ll give me that much time to get through this with Andrew?”

“I’d rather help you,” he said honestly, “but if you don’t want it or need it, then yeah, I’ll leave you be.”

She eyed him warily as if she weren’t sure whether or not to trust him. “You won’t call me or stop by?”

“I’ll wait for you to call me.”

But if she didn’t by the middle of the week, he was coming after her.

* * *

P
ENELOPE
LOOKED
UP
when the door opened to see Andrew walk in, his face drawn. When he saw her, his shoulders stiffened. Leo had left hours ago and during that time, she’d done all she could to keep busy while waiting for her son to return home. She’d showered and washed her bedding—couldn’t bear to sleep on her sheets when they still smelled like Leo. She’d cleaned the kitchen and done the laundry, paid bills, anything and everything in an effort to keep her mind occupied.

It hadn’t worked. All she could see was Andrew’s expression when he’d realized what she and Leo had been doing. All she could hear was his voice, ugly and accusing.

“Are you all right?” She refused to ask him where he’d been or why he’d been gone for so long, wasn’t going to get into a fight over his leaving the house when she specifically told him to stay. This wasn’t the time for any of that. What she needed to do now was to get her son to see her side, to reason with him.

“I walked in on my mom and my football coach screwing,” he sneered. “What do you think?”

A chill ran through her. “I think,” she said slowly and carefully, “you need to be careful of how to speak to me.”

“Or what? You’ll sic Leo on me, let him beat the shit out of me?”

“Leo would never hurt you.” Though he had become physical with her son, something she couldn’t forget. She cleared her throat. “Sit down. I want to talk to you.”

“Not interested.” He opened the refrigerator door, stuck his head inside.

“Andrew Mark, I told you to sit. Down. Now.”

Her tone brooked no argument, but he was obviously still upset because he slammed the refrigerator door shut. “How could you? Was that why you left Dad? So you could hook up with other guys?”

“Of course not!” How could he even think such a thing? “You know your dad and I were having problems—”

“That’s just it. I didn’t. I thought things were fine. You guys never argued. You never fought. And then, bang, one day you tell me you’re splitting up, like it’s no big deal.”

She fiddled with the centerpiece on the table. “Your father and I drifted apart. We didn’t fight, no, but we didn’t talk anymore, either. We didn’t laugh. We both deserved better than that.”

Andrew’s hands fisted and he looked so much like a man, but also so much still like her little boy. “Are you going to marry Coach?”

She jerked in surprise. “We’ve only been seeing each other a few weeks.”

“That didn’t stop you from sleeping with him.”

“No,” she said slowly. “But while I’ll be honest with you, I refuse to discuss my personal life in that detail. Suffice it to say, I care for Leo. What happened between us wasn’t wrong.” She truly believed that. What they’d shared was special and she wasn’t going to apologize for it. “But that doesn’t mean I want you to think you should be having sex.”

He laughed harshly. “Right. Talk about a double standard.”

“Maybe it is, but I’m going to give you my thoughts, anyway. Sex is a big responsibility and shouldn’t be taken lightly. You need to always respect the girls you take out.”

“I’m not an animal. I know no means no.”

“I’m glad to hear it. But if you do decide to have sex, you need to make sure you use protection, both for your own health and well-being and for hers.”

He tipped his head back. “I’m in hell,” he muttered. “This day has been nothing but total hell and now I’m discussing my nonexistent sex life with my mother, which is only slightly worse than my knowing, for a fact now, that my mother’s sex life is very much existent.”

She rolled her eyes. Honestly, sometimes dealing with her son frayed her last nerve. “I realize you know everything there is to know about sex and how to act like a gentleman, but I’m still your mother and it’s still my job to reiterate my beliefs and expectations of you. Now, I realize that once you leave my sight, once you walk out that door, you’re going to do what you want without any thought or care as to what I’d like you to do. But I can’t, in good conscience, not express my hopes for you and the values that are important to me.”

“Yeah, whatever.” He opened the fridge again, grabbed a bottle of juice, shut the door and stomped up the stairs.

Penelope slumped in her seat. That had gone...not quite as horribly as she’d expected. Not great, but not the worst conversation she’d had with her son.

What that said about him—not to mention about her as a parent—she wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

You need to put yourself first.

Leo’s words echoed in her head. Put herself first. She was a mother. She had to put her child first. Had to focus on him. But a part of her, a small, resentful part, wished she didn’t have to. Wished she could focus on herself, on her own happiness, instead of trying, always trying, to make Andrew happy.

Especially when it never seemed to work.

* * *

L
EO
WASN
’
T
SURE
what to expect Monday at football practice, but after the way things had ended with Penelope yesterday, and then a long shift at work, he was in no mood to put up with any bullshit.

Too bad Drew seemed to have bullshit to spare.

“Hustle up,” Leo called when Drew lagged behind getting to the team huddle. During the entire practice Drew had been sulky and sullen and a grade-A idiot. Leo didn’t know how Penelope put up with it. Wasn’t sure he would be able to much longer, and what did that say about any hope he had of continuing a relationship with her? He wasn’t the kid’s dad, wasn’t sure he wanted or was up to the responsibility of being part of a couple that included making sure a teenager reached adulthood as a compassionate, hardworking individual.

“Let’s run Omaha,” Leo said of the next play he wanted them to practice. “Ready?”

The boys lined up and Leo blew his whistle. The ball was snapped, the quarterback dropped back and sent a beauty of a pass to Drew.

Who didn’t even try to catch it.

“Drew, put some effort into it.” Leo blew his whistle again. “Let’s try it again, gentlemen.”

They ran the play four more times. Four. More. Times. And each time Drew’s lack of effort was eclipsed only by the glower and sulky expression on his face.

“Okay, let’s move on to something different,” Leo said.

“Can we try a reverse?” Luke asked.

“Sure. Knock yourselves out. Except you,” Leo told Drew when he tried to join the huddle. “You can hit the showers. Gakowski?” he called to the second string receiver. “You’re in for Freeman.”

“What?” Drew asked, his face red. “Why?”

“Because you obviously have better things to do than be here,” Leo said, keeping his cool. “You’re not even trying and you’re making it that much harder for everyone else, so hit the showers and we’ll see you tomorrow. If you can have a better attitude.”

Leo walked away from him toward the rest of the team.

“This is bullshit!”

He sighed. Noted the wide-eyed expressions on the other kids’ faces at Drew’s outburst before he turned to the kid. “You think so?”

Drew lifted his chin, his helmet in his hands. “Yeah. I do.”

Leo nodded. “That’s your prerogative. Too bad it doesn’t matter what you think. What matters, here, on my football field, is what I think. You get me?” His words were all the more serious and dangerous for their quiet tone. “Now get out of my sight before I lose my temper.”

But Drew, stubborn, defiant Drew, stepped closer, the physical threat in his body language clear. Leo raised his eyebrows and sent him a look that said,
Boy, you wouldn’t be stupid enough to make the same mistake twice, would you
?

The kid backed down. Maybe he was smarter than he acted.

“You’re just pissed at me because of yesterday,” Drew said with a sneer.

Now it was Leo who closed the distance between them, lowered his voice and spoke directly into Drew’s ear. “Don’t go there.”

“You run this team like a dictator,” Drew said as he backed up and raised his voice. “It doesn’t matter what we say or what we do. All that matters is what you say.”

“You want to have your say?” Leo asked, still in that same quiet tone. “We’ll discuss this later. After practice.”

He turned once again.

“Later?” Drew called. “I want to discuss it now.”

“Dude,” Luke said in a loud whisper. “Shut up.”

“Go home,” Leo told him without even turning around.

“Screw you!” Drew spat. “Oh, wait. That’s my mother’s job, isn’t it?”

Everything went still and quiet. Leo didn’t so much as glance at the faces of the team or his assistant coaches, even knowing Pops was there and witnessing this didn’t matter. Furious, he stormed over to Drew, saw the flash of fear in the kid’s eyes, but got no satisfaction from it.