Chaos (Kardia Chronicles) (Entangled Teen) (33 page)

So maybe I’d romanticized it a little. Still, he had protected me. He’d trained me and helped me—

“Ask him how many fuck-ups he’s protected before you.” His eyes lit with glee. “And then ask him how many of them survived his
protection
.”

A cold finger of dread skated down my spine. “Mac?” I stared at him, willing him to tell me that Rafe was crazy. Willing him to tell me that everything he’d said to me wasn’t a lie.

“None.” Mac held my gaze unwaveringly. “They’re all dead. Four of them.”

The room careened, and I grabbed onto the back of the couch to stay upright.

“What do you mean?”

“He means that, whenever he goes out ‘protecting’”—Rafe made air quotes around the word—“chicks like you go home in body bags. His job isn’t to protect you. It’s to judge the level of threat and take action. I’d call him more of a Dispatcher than a Protector. Although killer works, too.”

Mac shook his head, his eyes beseeching me to listen to him. “Not with you, Maggie. I saw the good in you. Even before you told me about Eric, I knew you were worth trying to save. That’s why I agreed to train you.”

“But before that. If I didn’t agree to go with you to the Council?”

The devastation on his face and the ensuing silence said it all. I would have been dispatched. By Mac’s bloody hand.

“You judge me for hurting people, for lying and stealing, and you’re a professional murderer? A frigging cleanup specialist like something from the semi mafia?”

It was almost better, the anger that came. It was so huge, so all-encompassing that I didn’t even feel sad anymore.

“I killed killers. They weren’t like you. I tried everything first, but they wouldn’t give up their powers or agree to meet with the Council—”

“I will. I’ll do both.”

“No, Maggie. Let’s just go. You don’t understand what’s about to happen if you go to the Council,” Mac begged, reaching out a hand for me, but Rafe stepped forward.

“Know why I turned to Rafe and walked toward him, stopping by his side. “Let’s go.”

“Don’t do this, Maggie. I know you’re mad, but you don’t understand what they’re like. It’s too late for that now.”

“I know what I’ve read and what you’ve told me. If I turn myself in and ask them to strip my powers, they will.” And along with it, they would take my memories. When it was over, I wouldn’t even remember his face. Maybe that was a blessing. “Then I won’t be a threat anymore, and they will let me go.”

I looked to Rafe for confirmation, and he nodded, reaching for me. “Sure, they—”

“You put your hands on her, I’ll kill you where you stand.” Mac’s voice was like a thunderclap and Rafe froze, sizing him up before taking a step back.

“She wants to come with me.” He held up his hands, but his mocking smile wasn’t exactly a peace offering. “I’m not the bad guy here.”

“You spiked her drink,” Mac growled, taking another step toward Rafe, waves of fury pouring off him. I lodged myself between them and put a hand on Mac’s chest.

“It doesn’t matter why it happened. I’m a menace, and I’m one bad day away from killing someone else. You said that yourself, and you were right.”

“Before. I said that before I knew you. Even if you’re right, even if by some miracle they decide to let you live and just strip your power, you might not survive it. Your power”—he gripped my chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced me to meet his gaze—”it’s such a big part of you, rooted so deep. It could kill you. Come with me. I’ll take him out and we’ll go.”

I pulled away from his grasp and stepped back.

Even knowing he’d tried to convince me to renounce my powers when it could have killed me, I could feel myself thawing. That Mac and Maggie seemed like a lifetime ago. Already, I was forgiving him; already, I was wanting to take his hand and run. But that wouldn’t change a thing. I had a wrong to right and a debt to pay.

I shook my head and summoned every last bit of self-discipline. “I’m not running away. If the Council wanted me dead, I’d be dead already. But I’m alive and standing here.”

“For now. If Eric didn’t make it, I was instructed to dispatch you immediately. If I hadn’t been running interference with them for the last two weeks, you’d already be dead. Hell, this motherfucker probably won’t even bring you to the Council. For all you know, he’s going to take you somewhere secluded and be done with it.”

I barely registered that he’d spoken to the Council on my behalf. I couldn’t. I needed to stay strong and take my punishment, and getting all soft for Mac was only going to make it more difficult. I stepped forward and put both hands on his chest, shoving him hard. “Don’t you get it? I don’t care what happens to me anymore. I need to get this out of me, whatever it takes.”

He blanched and made a grab for me again. I tried to hold it back, focused on my breath and my blood and my muscle and bone, but death and betrayal and fear all came together in a poisonous stew of fury. I lashed out, letting the feeling fly, and he flew backward, smashing against the opposite wall with a muffled grunt.

Rafe let out a whoop and clapped his hands, but I barely noticed.

Mac struggled as I walked toward him, blood boiling. I held him pinned with the force of my will. He tried to fight me off with his own brand of power, but while I could feel him blocking my powers, whatever this new thing was I’d thrown his way, it was a whole other story.

Despite the awfulness of the day, a dark flame of glee flickered inside me. Maybe this was who I was. Who I was meant to be. A monster.

When I got close enough to reach him, to see the look in his eyes, the flame died, and I felt nothing but bone-deep sadness and utter exhaustion. Who was I kidding? I could no more hurt Mac than I could my own mother. At least, not on purpose. My resolve came back a thousand-fold.

I was a ticking time bomb, and the Council had every right to fear what kind of damage I’d do next. “I’m going to the Sacred Grove with Rafe. I’m going to hold you here for as long as I can so that you can’t try to stop me, but I won’t hurt you, Mac.”

He took advantage of that weakness, and I was on my back a second later, the wind knocked out of me. He was on me, pinning me to the floor, fingers laced with mine. I squirmed and bucked, throwing everything I had at him, but he held strong.

“Maggie—” His voice had gone from authoritative to pleading, and even now, even after all the things that were said and all the things that weren’t, his beautiful gray eyes called to me. “I’m begging you. Don’t do this. ”

Rafe’s voice taunted from behind, “Know why Loverboy there doesn’t want to take you to the Council? Because he knows he’ll be dispatched himself for vouching for you and failing.” Rafe laughed but there was no humor in his voice. “You’re so stupid. You think he actually cares about you? He only cares about his own skin. He’s done nothing but lie to you since he got here. I may be an asshole, but at least I’m honest about it.”

My stomach pitched, and I could feel the blood leach from my face.
No...

“He’s lying,” Mac shouted, but I closed my eyes so I couldn’t see the fear etching his face. It didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter if Rafe was telling the truth or not, it didn’t even matter if Mac was. I couldn’t take the chance that Rafe might be right and the Council would harm Mac. I thought hearing Eric was dead was the most pain I’d ever felt, even worse than when my dad died because this was all my fault, but no. If something happened to Mac, it would destroy me.

I had to do this alone. For Mac as well as for me.

I lifted my lids and gazed back at him, his eyes begging me to trust him.

And I knew Rafe was right. Whether it was to cover his own ass or cover mine, Mac wouldn’t turn me in. As scared as i was to go with Rafe, I’d take the risk if it would keep Mac alive. Now I had to walk away before I didn’t have the strength to. “After tonight, the one thing I know for sure is that I need to go alone. Half the things you told me were lies, and I can’t bank on the fact that you’re finally telling me the truth.” I touched a finger to his cheek. “I’ll take my chances with Rafe. I’m…so sorry I failed you.”

He shook his head, in full denial. The fact he had no intention of letting me go was another shot to my battered heart. Because he cared. I’d seen it the night before when I’d tapped into his memory of us.

Which made it that much harder not to warn him when Rafe crept up behind him with a Taser in his hand. It went against every instinct in me, screaming to protect him from the coming attack.

Instead, I let it happen.

The Taser discharged with a pop and Mac stiffened and fell to my side. I shot to my feet and stood between them, hands up in in a defensive stance to warn Rafe off of firing again. Allowing him to take one shot in the interest of keeping Mac safe was acceptable. Allowing Mac to get zapped again was more than I could handle.

“You motherfucking coward,” Mac muttered through gritted teeth. He struggled to his knees and tears blurred my vision. He’d been focused on me. Unprotected and unaware, and now he was on the ground. Every time I thought it couldn’t hurt more, it did. I had to get out of there before I couldn’t make myself go.

“At least fight me like a man.”

Rafe stood over him and for a second, I thought he was going to oblige him. He chuckled instead, giving me the once-over. “I get the feeling it would be two against one, so we’ll save that for another time.” He turned to face me. “Time to go, sweetheart. And don’t worry about him coming after us. Fifty-thousand volts will scramble his energy for a good long while.”

Mac had made it into a squatting position, and I could tell by the tension in Rafe’s body that part of him was hoping he would make a move. In the state Mac was in, Rafe would surely kill him.

“Stay down,” I begged, licking the salty tears from my lips. He didn’t listen, pushing himself to almost standing before hitting the floor like a bag of wet sand. I stepped toward him, but Rafe stopped me with a rough hand on my upper arm.

“We have to go. Right now, or I’ll have to hit him with the Taser again.” I stared down at Rafe’s hand on my arm and contemplated blasting his ass. Instead, I shook him off and shoved past him toward the door.

“Don’t push it, asshole.”

His responding chuckle was quickly drowned out by Mac’s furious threats, promises, and then pleas, but I blocked them out. My path was clear.

I was off to see the Wizard, and I might never see Kansas again.

Chapter Nineteen

Rafe’s car was cold enough that I could see my breath, but I barely noticed. My brain had shut down my body, and I really couldn’t feel much of anything. I’d blown most of my power in one shot during my fight with Mac and was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. That was a good thing. The last thing I wanted to do was think.

I peered over at my driving companion and marveled at the fact that I hadn’t seen it. The ruthlessness. The cold, calculating aura surrounding him. Like a mercenary with no real emotions at all.

For all his talk about Mac, I was 100 percent sure that Rafe wasn’t just sent to keep an eye on the situation. He was the backup muscle sent in case Mac couldn’t pull the trigger, because this guy wouldn’t hesitate to take me out.
And here you go, handing yourself over to him like a fattened pig.

Not the smartest move, but the second I considered backing out and tearing ass down the street for home so I could curl up next to my gram and cry…I pictured Eric’s empty hospital bed.

Funny how, until today, I thought the worst thing in the world was seeing him lying there, tubes violating every orifice. Now I knew better. That empty bed, with that crisp white sheet and that sad little marshmallow of a pillow sitting there in the middle of that lifeless room, devoid of color, devoid of sound, devoid of breath, devoid of life.

Could be that I was walking into hell with the devil himself, but at least I was doing the right thing for once. For some reason, at that moment, it was enough. I could justify the stealing. I could even justify the fear and anger behind what happened with Eric—if not the outcome. But I’d killed someone, and I couldn’t justify letting a murderer walk free, not even if it was .

I needed to be stopped, and even after Mac’s help, I wasn’t sure I had the ability to stop myself. Especially after what happened with Bink and with new, more terrifying powers coming to light every time I turned around.

Now I was saddled with a guy I trusted about as much as a wounded bear. Still, I knew it with every fiber of my being—Rafe wouldn’t stop until he got me to the Council. And that made us allies, for now at least.

Besides, there was still a chance I’d make it out of this alive. The Amaranthus hadn’t seen fit to just kill me outright when Eric had gone into the coma, so surely there were rules. I found myself wishing yet again that I’d been provided with a copy of them.

“It’s going to be a ten-hour drive,” he said gruffly. “We’ll stop to sleep in a few hours if you need to.”

I got the distinct feeling that he’d been instructed to offer that concession, since he looked mostly annoyed when he said it. I was struck again by the disconnect between his face and eyes. It was kind of surreal that a person could be so handsome in a classic heartthrob way and still manage to be so repulsive without an ounce of humanity in his face.

Without the put-on trademark Rafe grin that made all the girls want to toss their thongs at him, he was positively terrifying. Throw in the reptilian, soulless eyes that he didn’t bother to try and make look lively anymore, and I was thinking about asking him if he could go back to being the other guy for the rest of our little road trip. He was creeping me the fuck out. Judging by his expression, the request would have been denied, so I swallowed hard and nodded.

“That’s fine. We can probably drive straight through.”

I’d never be able to sleep or eat anyway, and my skin crawled at the idea of sleeping anywhere near him. Besides, my nerves were out of control and time wasn’t my friend. I needed to get in front of the Council as quickly as possible because the wait was killing me. They’d put me out of my misery.