Read Chaos (Kardia Chronicles) (Entangled Teen) Online

Authors: Christine O'Neil

Tags: #teen, #ember, #goddess, #young adult, #god, #Christine O'Neil, #romance series, #Chaos, #romance, #entangled, #mythology, #Entangled DigiTeen, #succubus

Chaos (Kardia Chronicles) (Entangled Teen) (31 page)

BOOK: Chaos (Kardia Chronicles) (Entangled Teen)
11.56Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

All was quiet save for the pounding of my heart, and I slunk upstairs. Once I was in my room, which was far enough away that Mom wouldn’t hear me from hers, I let the tears come.

What had I done? What had I just fucking done to my oldest friend? An image of Libby’s face flashed through my mind as I realized that my crime had more than one victim. I was a monster, just like Mac said I would be.

I sank to the floor and sobbed, rocking, babbling, praying. My whole body quaked as I tried to think of something, anything, that might fix this mess. I grabbed my buzzing phone from my pocket, hit ignore on Libby’s incoming call, and punched in Mac’s number.

He hated me. He never wanted to see me again. Too bad. I needed his help and whether it came with more hate and a nonnegotiable invitation to the Council or not, I was willing to take it.

The phone rang six times before going to voice mail. Then it started buzzing again.
Libby.
I tossed the phone aside and stripped off my clothes. Sobriety was priority one if I had any hope of figuring out what to do next. I stumbled into the shower, gritting my teeth before turning the faucet to straight cold water. I barely held back my scream as the icy spray shot out.

Good. I wasn’t sober, but at least I was alert.

I stayed there as long as I could stand, then dried off. Once I was dressed in my nightclothes, I tiptoed down the stairs, relieved to find the kitchen empty. I popped a pod into the Keurig and brewed a cup of coffee while I forced down a dry piece of bread.

By the time I got back to my room, I was feeling just as miserable but a whole lot clearer. I’d hurt two of the people I loved most, and I needed to fix this, whatever it took. I eyed the stack of books for a minute and then dove in. Maybe there was something in there that could help.

But two hours later, I was exhausted, numb, and no better off than when I’d started. Dozens of books were scattered around me like soldiers on the losing side of a war. I rubbed my bleary eyes and stared, unseeing, down at the last of the ones I’d thought might help. But they hadn’t. All reading them had done was confirm that what
kardia
Aphrodite took, they took for keeps.

I’d stolen Bink’s love for Libby, and I could never give it back.

Chapter Eighteen

“Mags?”

I stirred at the quiet voice calling my name through some sort of filter, but that hurt so I stopped moving and stayed perfectly still. And that hurt, too.

“Mags, come on.” The quiet voice got wicked loud, and my head split in two.

“Jesus, stop yelling,” I choked out through my dry-as-sand throat. The bed creaked and dipped, taking my stomach with it. The world went wobbly and the pain in my head intensified.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I pleaded with the voice.

The covers over my head disappeared with a snap, and if I could have mustered up the energy to scream, I would have. Cold air blasted in from all sides, and I stiffened.

“Come on, you’re never going to feel better if you don’t rehydrate. I brought you some Vitamin Water.”

Now that I knew my mystery guest was Libby, I could cease my repeated failed attempts to open my eyes in the face of the sun glaring through my window.

“I’ll shut the shades,” she murmured. The bed shifted again, and a second later the room went blissfully dim. Another second and my cocoon was back in place as she shook the blankets over me and covered me like a child.

“You have to sit up and drink something.”

I couldn’t argue there, since my tongue felt like a sock, but I sure as hell wasn’t drinking Vitamin Water.

“What else you got?”

Another sigh, but I knew my girl, and my brattiness was rewarded. There was no way she thought she’d actually get me to drink that stuff so she definitely had backup. “Strawberry Nesquik. But seriously, the other stuff is so much better for you.”

I stuck my hand out from my fort and waited.

“Fine, it’s your funeral.”

It sure as hell felt like it. What had happened last night? My fingers closed around the bottle, and it all came back to me in a rush. Saliva pooled in my mouth, and not in a good way. It had me reconsidering the Vitamin Water, but when the nausea passed a minute later, so did the urge. I could feel Libby’s eyes on me, but I couldn’t even look at her.

My throat ached with unshed tears. What was I going to do to fix this mess?

It took a few minutes, but I managed to drink half the carton of milk and wash down four Advil with the other half. Libby sat by quietly, making soft, comforting sounds until I finally stuck my head out.

“Better?”

I went to nod but even the thought sent my head splitting again. “Yes, thank you.”

“Good, then tell me why you jumped out of the car last night like a psycho and why you didn’t answer your phone. I was worried sick, but I didn’t want to call the house and wake your mom up and get you in trouble.” Her voice shook a little, and I realized I should have thought of that last night. It had just been mistake after mistake, hurting people in a dozen ways, over and over.

I opened my eyes and met her bleary hazel ones. She probably hadn’t slept a wink.

“I’m so sorry, Lib.” I had already decided not to tell her about Bink. At least, not until I talked to Mac to see if I could fix it. “I came into the house and got sick, then I passed out.”

“And you couldn’t send me a quick text?”

“I was totally wasted. I barely remember coming into the house.”

She let out a shaky breath and straightened the bow in her hair. “Still, seems like you would think to call your best friends to let them know you were okay.”

“I know and I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad. If it helps, I never plan on drinking again.”

“Promise me.” Her tone was as serious as a suicide note, and that surprised me. She’d watched me do a lot of stupid things, and lately, had chosen to stop watching me do stupid things and make herself scarce, but she’d never tried to talk me out of something before.

I gingerly pushed myself up into an almost-seated position and held out my pinkie. “Promise.”

She slid her little finger through mine and we shook on it, which was as good as a blood oath, to my mind.

“How was Bink after I left? Okay?”

She looked away and shrugged. “He seemed okay. Not like you, that’s for sure. He was a little weird when I dropped him off, though. I thought…” She trailed off and pushed a handful of blond locks away from her face and my heart gave a squeeze. “It doesn’t matter.” She shouldered her way farther onto the bed and laid down next to me. “So talk to me. What happened with you and Mac?”

I considered faking narcolepsy because that subject was no better than the last, but the weight of Libby’s stare was enough to make my whole body start hurting again.

“He’s mad at me for hanging out with Rafe. He feels like I could have gotten myself into trouble. He doesn’t like or trust him.” All true.

“Why not?”

She seemed really interested, and I wished I hadn’t mentioned it.

“I’m not sure. But he has a girlfriend anyway, and I have no interest in Rafe, so none of that matters.”

“So what now?”

I didn’t want to think about that, or what I was going to say to him when I called him. If he ever answered his phone. But I was determined. For Libby. For Bink. If he didn’t answer, I’d stop by his house. He couldn’t be gone yet. After what I’d done yesterday, surely they wouldn’t leave me unchaperoned.

I made a vow to myself that, no matter how scared I was, no matter what the punishment, I would find Mac today and tell him what had happened. It would be wrenching to see him again after the night before, but this wasn’t about me anymore. This was about fixing what I’d broken.

But first, I had to go see Eric. I’d missed Saturday because of Swirl prep, so I’d planned to go today. I wasn’t about to let my reckless behavior the night before get in the way of any more of my responsibilities. Especially since the odds of me having my powers stripped and my memories erased had just gone up a thousand-fold after what I’d done last night.

“If you want a ride to the hospital, get ready to go,” Mom called from the bottom of the stairs.

Libby stood and, after extracting a promise that I would call her later, left. I got dressed, taking a second to tuck Mac’s ring in my back pocket for courage, and we headed out. A few times on the drive over, Mom tried to start up a conversation about the dance, but she realized quickly that it hadn’t been the stuff teen movies were made of, so she stopped and turned on the radio.

When she let me out in front, I was still feeling slightly dizzy and a little off, but my mind was clear and my resolve was strong. This might be the last time I could visit for a while, or ever, and I needed to make the most of it for Eric’s sake.

I stopped by the front desk and said a quick hello to Claude, then headed down the long corridor, mouth-breathing it the whole way. The astringent smell of sterilizing agents mixed with a wicked hangover almost had me heaving again.

I stopped by the second floor on the way up to pass by the nursery, taking a minute to peer in at the newborns. I’d never been one of those girls who’d dreamed about her wedding or who spouted off stuff like, “I’ve always wanted to be a mommy,” but something about those red-faced, fat little babies wailing in there made me feel…hopeful. Or something. Like even though I was there to see Eric and his situation was dire and almost paralyzingly depressing and everything in my own life had shattered, seeing the newborns gave me the little kick I needed to get the rest of the way down the hall and do what I needed to do.

I turned away reluctantly, tracing a finger on the glass before I made my way up the rest of the stairs to the ICU. The tension built between my shoulder blades as I got closer to room 411, like it did every time.

I paused for one second right outside his doorway and plastered on a smile in case Mrs. Nelson was there. She liked to chat, and she was always so optimistic, I never wanted to drag her down. When I stepped in, though, my smile collapsed like a snipered soldier.

Empty. The room was empty.

Hope and terror duked it out as my brain tried to compute and calculate what was happening. Had he been moved? Improved enough to get a private room in the rehab wing? My mind shut down, then, preservation mode locking it up right and tight. I backed out of the room and hitched my bag higher up on my shoulder. Surely I would have heard if—

“Can I help you, dear?”

I turned to face a middle-age woman in yellow orderly scrubs. I swallowed the chunk of panic lodged in my windpipe and nodded.

“Um, yes.” My voice sounded so small as I listened almost dispassionately to myself talk. “I’m here to see a friend. Eric Nelson? Has he been released?”

Please say yes. Please say yes.
But even as the prayers rattled around in my head, and the deals of the desperate took shape—
if only he’s okay, I’ll: go to church every Sunday, never swear again, never take another thing that doesn’t belong to me
—but before I could come up with a really juicy bargaining chip, hysteria started to set in.

Had he been released? Is that what I’d asked the orderly?
Sure, you stupid ass. For months he’d been hooked up to every machine known to science, his body an emaciated husk after eating through a tube the whole time, and today he’d popped out of bed and they let him stroll right on out of here.
A laugh bubbled in my throat, and I covered my mouth with my hand. I needn’t have bothered because what came out was a ragged, broken sob.

“Aw, sweetie, don’t cry. I just started my shift, so I don’t know. I’m going to talk to the head nurse and try to get some information for you, all right? Since you’re not family, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to give you any details about his condition, but I can tell you if he’s been moved.” She gave my shoulder a maternal squeeze and smiled at me. “You sit tight in the waiting room. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

I made my way to the waiting room a few doors down on leaden feet. So maybe it was doubtful he’d woken up, but there were a million reasons he could’ve switched rooms.

Mom had complained the whole time Granddad had been sick that the insurance companies were constantly giving people trouble about room costs and stuff like that. Or maybe the hospital needed that specific room type for another patient.

I went to sit on one of the mauve vinyl chairs but it was a no-go. My legs felt like they were crawling with ants, and I stood. Luckily, I didn’t have long to wait.

“Maggie?”

The soft voice blew my heart to bits. It was Nurse Ashley. We knew each other pretty well by now, since I tended to visit Eric during her shift. I liked her a lot.

There were two kinds of nurses, in my limited experience. There were the kind who did their jobs, came in, took vitals, changed colostomy bags and tubes, and left. Then there were the kind who ran an absent hand over Eric’s forehead while they talked in a low soothing voice. The kind who were real gentle when they plumped his pillows and made sure his socks were tight but not too tight. Ashley was that kind of nurse.

I didn’t have to turn around to know what she was going to say. So I didn’t. I balled up my fist and jammed it into my mouth, hoping I didn’t whimper…hoping even more I didn’t explode.

“Maggie, look at me.” Her voice was a little more firm now but still quiet. Patient. She sounded sorry. So sorry…

I shook my head furiously as tears blurred my vision, making the room go all fishbowl.

The crinkling of scrubs and then a gentle hand on my shoulder—the second one today. “I can’t give you any information, but I think it would be a good idea if you contacted Mrs. Nelson. I think she could really use your support right now.”

The last little seedling of hope withered under the merciless, fiery heat of hopelessness, and my heart cracked in two.

“D-did…” I broke off and tried again, needing to know the answer to the question that was eating me alive. “Did it hurt?” I finally managed.

The nurse sucked in a sharp breath and leaned in closer to wrap her arm around my shoulder. “I don’t think it did, honey. I think it was a blessing. And I think you need to look at it that way, too.”

BOOK: Chaos (Kardia Chronicles) (Entangled Teen)
11.56Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Hunger Revealed by Dee Carney
The Last Holiday Concert by Andrew Clements
Out of Position by Kyell Gold
Colossus and Crab by D. F. Jones
Death Comes eCalling by Leslie O'Kane
Outer Banks by Anne Rivers Siddons