Chaos (Kardia Chronicles) (Entangled Teen) (30 page)

I leapt forward and shoved him hard enough that he stepped back to catch his balance, and then I ran. If I could’ve flown, I would have, because never in my life had I needed to get away from someone so badly.

Chapter Seventeen

It took me twenty minutes to get myself together enough so I could leave the bathroom and stumble back into the gym, but I did it. I had just managed to plaster a phony smile on my face when Bink came over.

“Hey.” He looked around in confusion. “I came to dance with you guys. Libby said you were all kicking it earlier.” He looked over my shoulder and sent me a questioning glance. “What happened to Fake Gyllenhaal?”

I forced a chuckle, but only because he expected it. “Probably with his date.”

His blue gaze narrowed on my face, searching. “Yeah?”

Shit. He had figured out how I felt about Mac. I guess a lifetime of friendship will do that. Inconvenient sometimes, though.

“Yeah. And I don’t care, okay?” I crossed my arms and glared at him, but he kept his eyes locked on mine. I steeled myself, prepping for yet another argument, but he let me off the hook.

“Okay. How about we go take care of some of this Jack Daniel’s, then? We can hang by the bleachers and get some air.”

He was peering over my shoulder and seemed to be in a rush, so I knew something was up. I ducked around him to see, and immediately wished I hadn’t.

Ella and Mac were snuggled up tight, swaying slowly to a Ne-Yo song. Her hand was buried in his hair and her head was tucked against his broad shoulder. The smile on her face was nauseating. She looked like a kid dreaming of Disney World and houses made of fudge, and I wondered briefly if that’s what I would look like if Mac had asked me to slow dance. I hoped not. She looked like a fucking idiot.

They turned and he looked up, meeting my gaze. He was totally…blank. Like he was looking into the face of a stranger.

I jammed my arm through Bink’s, linking us together chicken wing–style, and grinned. “Sounds like an excellent plan. I think Jack and I are going to get along just fine.”

My mind was whirling like a ballerina, and I needed to get off this ride for a while and just not think. If I didn’t get out of there…if I didn’t stop thinking about what he’d said, what we’d done…if I didn’t wash the picture of him and Ella dancing out of my head, I’d go crazy. I’d have a drink with Bink outside, Libby could drive us home after the dance, and I’d go pass out in my bed alone where I couldn’t hurt anyone.

I all but dragged him to the exit, and we slipped out, glancing around to make sure we weren’t spotted.

The night was unseasonably warm and had cleared up, and the stars were bright. Still, it was New Hampshire, and I shivered.

“Here,” he murmured and pulled away, slipping his arm from mine to take off his jacket. “Wear this, too. Yours isn’t enough to keep a gerbil warm.”

I tugged it tighter around my shoulders, breathing in the smell of Axe body spray that I hated but that comforted me because it reminded me of Bink.

“Thanks.”

“I texted Libby, and she’s meeting us under the bleachers, too. I don’t think I’m going to go back inside. No point, really. There’re no good single chicks. Even Libby is bored.” He looked away as he said the last bit, like he was hiding something, and I wondered if he had actually been hooking up with some chick when I pulled him away. I almost told him to go on back inside, but I decided to play the shitty friend card and stay silent.

The thought of not having to go back in there at all was beyond thrilling, and I wanted to cry with relief. Instead, I leaned farther into him, and we crunched across the icy blades of grass that covered the length of the football field until we reached the bleachers. He sat and patted the space next to him, and the aluminum made a hollow ringing sound. I wondered if this place was less depressing filled with screaming fans or if it was just my mood that made the whole thing feel sad.

“Is this your first time doing this?” Bink asked.

Not counting tonight, unintentionally?
But I didn’t say that, because he would have wanted to go back to the dance and kick Rafe’s ass. Instead, I nodded and sat, gasping at the cold seeping through my skirt. “Drinking? You know it is. Unless you count that time with the wine coolers.”

“Which I don’t,” we both said at the same time and then laughed.

“No, actually. I meant your first time on these bleachers.”

I thought about it for a few seconds before my still muzzy brain supplied the answer. It was my first time. I had managed to avoid them for two years of high school so far, which was a pretty impressive feat if I did say so myself.

“Yup. And they’re at least five times less comfortable than they look, so that’s something.”

He nudged my shoulder with his. The weight that had been pressing against my chest like a piece of granite lightened a little, and I settled into the seat more deeply.

Okay, so maybe the dance had been sucky, but I was with Bink now, and Libby was on her way. Soon I’d be home and conked out. Eventually, maybe I’d even forget this whole night ever happened.

Besides, Mac and I were nothing but problems together. And a lot of what I felt for him was probably tied up in the joy of finding someone like me. Someone…other.

He knew what it was like to be weird and all screwed up inside and have things totally out of control. It was an outlet for me to be able to be myself around someone. Briefly, my tipsy brain sent me a prompt to tell Bink about him. About me. About what we were and what we could do. But something made me hold my tongue at the last second and instead I stared blankly at the wide, darkened scoreboard. Had it just been a couple weeks ago that I’d started tallying points between Mac and me? I should have known from the start this game was going to be a blowout.

“I know you feel bad, Mags, but that guy is a loser. Never smiling, always with that shitty look on his face. I don’t know why you were hanging out with him in the first place.”

I nodded, but my heart wasn’t in it. We wouldn’t be hanging out anymore. Not ever again, so Bink needn’t have worried.

He reached out and grabbed the lapel of his jacket that was still over my shoulders, fishing around for a second before pulling the pint bottle from the inside pocket.

“Would the lady like a pinch of liquor?” he asked, in what I assumed was his attempt at a British accent, but failed miserably and ended up sounding like Arnold Schwarzenegger. He waved the bottle in front of me and I reached for it, but then shook my head no. As mad as I was at Mac, he was right about one thing. Less control over my powers was the last thing I needed, and I wasn’t about to make it worse on purpose. I was already tipsy enough for both of us, thanks to Rafe.

“Cool, are we pretending we’re from Austria?” Libby asked breathlessly, rushing up to the bleachers from the darkness.

Bink rolled his eyes at her, but his grin got wider as she approached. “What would that even sound like? The only people who can do an Austrian accent are people from Austria. That was my English butler accent. Get with the program.”

She waved him off and eyeballed me hard. “You okay? Your face is all red.” She came closer and sat down on the bleacher in front of me, fluffing her gown around her like a queen.

“Yeah, I’m just a little drunk,” I said with a wobbly smile. I felt strange though. I knew I was sad and mad and stressed since Mac had dumped all over me and broken my heart, but I was seeing it all through a hazy, wildish fog. “Rafe spiked my punch.”

“Asshole!” Libby started to turn like she was going to kick his ass and Bink stood up, but I waved them both down.

“It s’kay. He told me he was going to,” I said, too buzzed to feel guilty for the lie. It was for the safety of everyone involved. The last thing I wanted was for Bink or Libby to get hurt. “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the night together.” I widened my mouth into what I hoped was a grin.

Bink held my gaze for a beat, then sat back down, held up his bottle of JD, and shook it at Libby.

Libby shook her head and pointed at him. “You first.”

Bink took a deep breath, held the bottle to his lips, and threw back his head, his throat working as he sucked down a shot. He swallowed and gave me a watery grin. “ That wasn’t so bad.”

His cheeks had gone a little flush, but he handled it a lot better than I probably would have, so I stuck my pinkies into my mouth and let out a low, appreciative whistle.

He bowed then held the bottle to Libby.

She seemed to consider it for a few seconds but eventually shook her head. “I think I’ll pass; that way I can drive us home in a little while. You go ahead, though. We can get your car tomorrow.”

After all the begging and pleading, all the coercing and whining, now she couldn’t wait to leave early? I thought we’d have to beg her to go. “What gives?” I held her gaze, and she shifted, clearly uncomfortable with that line of questioning.

She shrugged one shoulder and glanced away. “I’m just not having as much fun as I thought I would.”

I couldn’t tell if she was telling the truth or just trying to save me from the misery of watching Mac and Ella together, but either way, she didn’t have to ask me twice.

I was out of there and away from Mac, and that was a good thing. Falling for a guy who was leaving the second they found someone to replace him was a bad idea. Falling for a guy who had a girlfriend was a terrible idea.

And falling for a guy who didn’t feel the same was the worst idea ever.

I grabbed onto the cold metal bleacher, and it went hot under my hand.

“Mags? You okay?” Libby asked, stepping closer to reach out for me.

“Yeah. Fine.” Not. All of Mac’s words came rushing back to me.

Spoiled.

Hotheaded.

Child.

And he was right. What was I thinking even coming here tonight? Short answer, I wasn’t.

“I think I’ve got to go home right now.”

Bink and Libby exchanged a look, and she nodded. “Sounds good to me. Bink will help you across the field while I pull the car around.”

In true Libby fashion, she raced off while Bink grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet. I rocked and leaned into him, my legs feeling like jelly.

“I love you, man,” I muttered, my words coming out about as clearly as they had been in my head, which was not at all. Damn, I felt even drunker than I had before, if that was even possible. The lack of food combined with all the stress and the sleepless nights must have caught up with me.

Bink just laughed and pulled me closer, half carrying me off the bleachers.

“You’re a peanut, so I figured you’d be a lightweight, but a couple glasses of spiked punch and you’re slurring. That’s an embarrassment, dude.”

It was three, but I didn’t correct him. Instead, I let him maneuver me across the field and tried not to hurl on my pretty gold shoes.

“He hates me,” I whispered on a sob that I hadn’t even known was still locked in my throat.

Bink slowed and turned, steadying me until I could look up at him. “Why does he hate you?”

Good ol’ Bink didn’t even have to ask who I meant. That was lucky. I didn’t think I could say his name out loud.

But full of booze, with Bink staring down at me, his familiar face full of concern and his baby blue eyes locked with mine in the moonlight, I couldn’t keep the truth from spilling out.

“Because I’m bad.”

His golden brows drew together, and he shook his head. “Nope. Not even close. You’re one of the best people I know, Mags. If he hates you, that’s on him.”

I lurched forward, my heart so filled up with love for my friend. I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed. His giant arms closed around me like a blanket, and I cried.

We stayed like that for a few minutes until Libby’s headlights shone in our direction, and then he scooped me up and carried me to the car.

He was my frigging hero.

And then I cried some more. I’d soaked the front of his shirt by the time we got to the lot, and Libby ran around the side of the car to open the door. He set me gently into the seat and came around to the other side and climbed in the back with me. I slumped onto his warm shoulder and closed my eyes, letting his warmth seep into me, letting pain and the sadness fall away as I slid into oblivion.

I don’t know what jerked me awake, Bink shrugging me off him or the blast of energy that poured into me. I sat bolt upright in horror as a feeling…a
thought
curled around me.

Pure love. God, Libby is so beautiful. So fucking smart and funny. Why would she ever like me? I’m about to find out. Tonight. No more fucking around.

But those weren’t my thoughts.

They were Bink’s. I was feeling Bink’s feelings and seeing Bink’s thoughts from earlier that night. Even now, through the confusion and terror, I could sense the infusion of power. The high.

In my drunken sleep, I must have latched onto him and the emotions closest to the surface. Only this time, I hadn’t just peeked at memories. I’d stolen something. Something precious and sweet.

I’d stolen Bink’s love for Libby.

I stared up at him in shock, and he looked back at me, puzzled. “I think that shot from before just hit me. I feel really weird.”

His voice was dazed, and I wanted to grab his hand. Comfort him, but I was afraid to touch him. God, what if I hadn’t woken up? What if I had taken more? I could’ve physically injured or even killed him. Panic swamped me, and I crowded toward the door. I was going to throw up.

“I need to get out of the car,” I whispered furiously.

We were still half a block from my house, and Libby met my gaze in the rearview mirror.

“What the heck are you talking about?”

“Stop. Right now. I’m going to be sick.”

She slowed and that was enough for me. I fumbled until the door opened and all but fell out onto the street.

“Jesus, Mags,” Bink yelled.

His energy and my own hysteria had given me a burst of strength, and I used it to start running. I cut through the Callahans’ yard and up my front steps, gasping. I still had the wherewithal to open my front door quietly and slip inside. I couldn’t face my mother right now.