Change of Heart (17 page)

“N
ATHAN
, I
NEED
your help.” Gage didn’t know who else to turn to. If nothing else, Nathan would have the connections to help him get the ball rolling on the idea he’d been contemplating since his conversation with Jude.

“What’s up?” Nathan looked up from the computer in the office he shared with Jessie. “Recovered from the campout yet?”

“Yeah, that was fun.” Gage rolled his eyes as he took a seat in one of the plush, leather chairs situated in front of the mahogany desk. “How do I go about setting up a nonprofit organization? I want to start a school.”

Nathan’s brows shot toward the ceiling. “A what?”

“Well, maybe not a school exactly, but a place where kids could go learn skills, either mechanical or technical, something that might help them feel like they weren’t just wasting their brains being bored in a classroom all day. It needs to be for at-risk kids, not some pandering day-camp.” He ran a hand over the top of his head as he continued to think aloud. “I want it to be challenging but something that will help them learn how to do good instead of using their genius to get into trouble.”

Nathan folded his hands in front of him. “You mean Jude.”

“Not just Jude, but kids like him. He’s smart, a freaking genius, and he’s lashing out because he’s bored, and no one is giving him an outlet to use that brain. What if I could create a place where he could?”

Nathan leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Well, for starters, you’d have to decide who you’d help. Just smart kids? And how would you set the standard, IQ tests? Or would it be for anyone who wanted to attend? Then you’d have to set up some sort of curriculum or educational plan. Once you have that, you’re going to need to write out a business plan and start finding investors willing to participate. All while you’re trying to get your 501c3 status. It’s going to be a lot of work.”

“I’d be one of the main investors.” Gage had no problem forking out money for a cause that would teach kids how to be a positive influence on the future of technology rather than a hindrance.

“You or Iconics Industries?”

“Does it matter?” He trusted Nathan’s input. The man was highly intelligent and one of the most sought after financial analysts in the United States, but more than anything else, Gage knew he was a good person. Nathan had fought against corruption more than once to make sure the right side prevailed.

“You can give your money to any cause or person you choose. However, Iconics Industries can’t. There are meetings and shareholders to convince, documentation to provide if they are going to be major contributors.” Nathan paused, as if unsure how to proceed. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with bolstering Iconics’ image after the latest less than stellar product release, would it?”

Of course, Nathan would know Iconics was at fault for the recent system breaches. But that had nothing to do with Gage’s interest in starting a foundation. He missed getting involved in the creative process, honing his skills, and figuring out problems. He was tired of letting everyone else create while he just checked the product and signed off on it. He didn’t want to answer to stockholders and worry about what their shares were selling for. He needed to feel like he was making a difference again. He had lost his passion for his work at some point in the past ten years, and somehow, in the last week here with Leah and Jude, he remembered what it felt like to have that again.

He would pay the price for his error, and he would step down from his position at Iconics, but he could only do it if there was something better waiting. This was his “something better.”

“It has to do with Iconics, but not in the way you think. Can you help me do this? Help me find the best people to make this successful?”

A slow grin spread over Nathan’s face, his eyes brightening. “I can make some calls. For the record, I think this is a great idea.”

L
EAH WAVED GOOD-BYE
to the boys as Melody backed her SUV down the driveway. She was going to miss them. At the clinic where she’d worked before coming to Heart Fire, it was a relief when one of her clients moved on. It meant they’d progressed to a point where she was no longer needed, or they found someone else. In reality, she’d never had time to miss anyone. Her patient load was far too heavy, and complex, to wonder what might happen in the future. But with these four boys, she hoped they’d return, even as she wished they wouldn’t.

“I should probably head out tonight, too.” Gage’s hand reached for Leah’s as Jessie turned to face them.

“Oh, are you
leaving
?”

Leah could feel the tension spark between the two of them and wondered what had caused the sudden animosity.

“I have a few meetings in the Bay Area. I should be back in a couple of days.”

“I thought you were leaving tomorrow,” Leah said.

Leah glanced up at him, standing behind her, and was struck again by his dark, expressive eyes as he gazed down on her. She could see more in them than she wanted to—concern, respect, desire. If they were alone, he’d kiss her, she had no doubt. And she wouldn’t stop him.

“I had to schedule a few more meetings than I thought I would. It shouldn’t take more than a few days.”

“Uh-huh.” Jessie obviously didn’t believe him, and Leah wondered why it mattered. “We have a group coming next Monday, so you have this week to prepare. They’ll be here for ten days, and it’s going to be about eight girls, ranging from fourteen to eighteen.” Jessie shot Leah a nervous glance. “They’ve been recommended to us from a women’s shelter in Sacramento to help them deal with abuse.”

Gage’s hand squeezed hers reassuringly. This wasn’t the first time she’d been expected to counsel women who’d been abused; however, it was the first time since sharing her experience with someone who knew that it might affect her. With Gage, she couldn’t pretend that it wouldn’t be difficult or that she wasn’t relating to their experiences. He could read her, whether she wanted him to or not.

She met Jessie’s gaze, saw the way she examined them. This was also the first time she would have someone watching her closely, scrutinizing her every reaction.

“I have a few ideas that should get some conversations started. We can’t do it the way we did with the boys, but I think a night on The Ridge would be a great idea. Without Nathan and Gage.” She cast an apologetic glance at Gage. “No offense.”

“None taken. I’m sure men are the last thing they need around. I just hope you’re not too jealous of the nice, comfy bed I’ll have,” he teased.

Jessie glared at him. “For the girls, I’ll bring blow-up mattresses and tents. You can stay in your nice, comfy bed, alone.” She turned her attention to Leah. “I’ll set it up for Tuesday, after they’ve had their first riding lesson. We can get my sister and Bailey to come, maybe bring a few of the therapy dogs as well.”

It was actually a brilliant idea. The animals worked wonders for helping people find comfort and to loosen their reservations enough to talk, especially knowing that their secrets were safe, since the animals wouldn’t judge. For those that might be intimidated by the size of the horses, the dogs could provide a welcome substitution. Leah had tried to convince the clinic to try therapy animals with several of her clients, but they had never approved her requests.

“I love the idea.”

“We should take a ride to Julia’s place this week, and Bailey can help you figure out which dogs would work out best for our program. I’m sure Moose would love a friend or two around here to play with.” At the mention of his name, the giant shepherd nudged her hand. Jessie looked from Leah to Gage before her eyes fell on their clasped hands, and a frown formed on her brow. “I have work to do.”

“What was that about?” Leah turned on Gage when Jessie had left earshot.

He shrugged nonchalantly and reached for her waist. “Who knows?”

“
You
know and don’t pretend you don’t.” Leah pulled her hand from his grasp. “She is my boss, Gage. I can’t risk losing this job.”

“You’re not going to lose your job.” He sighed as he slipped his hands to her hips and drew her close. “First of all, you’re great at your job and Jessie can see that. She’s not going to let you go because of me. Second, this isn’t her decision to make.”

Leah’s hands slid up his arms, coming to rest on his biceps, flexing slightly under her fingertips. “And what
decision
is that
?
What exactly is
this?”

Gage’s eyes smoldered, growing darker with each second that ticked by. “I honestly don’t know what to call it, Leah.”

The way his voice dropped, the husky sound that seemed to caress her skin as he drew her close, his arms moving around to her back, the musky scent of him surrounding her, made her pulse race even as her blood pooled in places she never thought it would.

Desire, longing, need—she’d never experienced any of them. The ability to feel any sort of sexual attraction had been stolen from her before she’d even understood that it was a natural experience, one that everyone
should
have. Years of sexual abuse had killed any sense of excitement and replaced it with fear. She’d secretly been envious of the women who felt anything, convincing herself that she was above her most base instincts, but the fact that she never experienced them reminded her of the pain of her past, making her feel used and wasted.

Even now, instead of relishing every moment with Gage as her pulse fluttered in her chest and the heat spiraled through her body, she fought the natural instincts Gage drew out in her. She fought the yearning to touch him, to feel his skin scorching her, to trace the valleys and ridges of muscle she could feel under the waffled Henley shirt he wore, to let his hands explore her.

A flush rose over her, and she licked her lower lip before biting the corner. Gage groaned quietly, deep in his chest.

“Aw, hell, Leah, stop looking at me that way, or you’re going to get us both into trouble.” She lifted her gaze to see his deep brown eyes nearly black with desire. Gone was the look of concern and sweet kindness she usually saw. She saw him clench his jaw, felt his fingers dig into the soft flesh of her hip slightly. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“A walk?” she repeated, unable to force her brain to function and spit out words that made sense. Leah wondered if every bit of her brain’s blood flow hadn’t been rerouted.

“Yes,” he growled. “Because walking will force you to stop looking at me like I’m your next meal and you’ve just decided you’re starving.” He reached for her hand and dragged her toward one of the walking paths that led to the paddocks behind the barn. “And it will give us some privacy.”

“So will my house.” She made the offer without thinking.

“Dear God, you’re trying to kill me,” Gage muttered under his breath.

G
AGE HAD BEEN
desperately trying to figure out a way to keep a safe distance between him and Leah since her revelation. Not because he wanted to, but from the sound of things, she’d never had any healthy relationships, even friendships, other than one she’d shared with her counselor, and his heart ached with the loneliness she must have felt over the years. He didn’t want her to feel like he was pressuring her into anything. She’d been coerced and violated enough in her life. He would force his body into submission because he would not rush this with her.

He wanted to make sure she knew what it felt like to be cherished, what it should have felt like to be loved.

Easy there, Ace. Love is a strong word.

He couldn’t argue with his own logic, and he wasn’t admitting he was in love with Leah, but he cared about her, a lot, and it was different than it had been with any other woman he’d dated—not that the two of them were even really dating. What the hell were they doing, anyway?

So far she’d been silent as they walked behind the barn, and he was grateful she hadn’t pressed him about what Jessie had said. He hadn’t told her yet about Jessie warning him to stay away. He would prove Jessie wrong, so that the entire issue was a moot point. What Jessie didn’t know yet was that he wasn’t going to be another man who hurt her, nor was he leaving. Watching Leah with the boys helped him make that decision.

He’d been tied up for far too long in the drudgery of corporate politics. He and George had started the company in order to help people. Somewhere along the way, that purpose had been lost. After their camping trip, he’d quickly realized that he was blaming the wrong people for his slide into shame. It wasn’t the hackers who’d trashed his reputation; he’d done that well before they ever found the backdoor into the security program. He’d sold his soul, and he was going to make it right. If not for the woman beside him right now, he would have never recognized it.

Leah sighed heavily from beside him, and he looked down at her. “Gage, if you are trying to tell me something, just say it.”

He frowned at the uneasiness in her voice. “Like what?”

“Like that this was fun while it lasted, that you’re moving on, that this didn’t mean anything . . . Just go to San Francisco.”

“Leah, I—”

“I’m a big girl, Gage. It was a few kisses.” She tried to sound nonchalant, but he could hear the wounded note in her tone.

“You’re a terrible poker player.”

She stopped and leaned her back against the wall of the barn. “I am a terrific poker player. Trust me, if I wanted to hide something from you, I could, and you’d never find out.”

“Could you?” His hands reached for her hips, sliding up to the curve of her waist, his thumb tracing a circle over her flat belly. He heard her slight gasp and his gaze focused on her mouth, the way her lips parted slightly as her teeth bit softly into the flesh.

“You can’t make me fall for you, Gage.”

His surprised gaze crashed into hers, but she looked away just as quickly, and he could see the retreat she was trying to make. He tucked the side of his finger under her chin, lifting her face up again and dipped his head closer, his lips barely brushing against hers.

“No?”

She rolled her lips inward and shook her head. He could feel the hesitation radiating from her, even as her fingers clenched in his shirt, drawing him closer.