Change of Heart (25 page)

I’m falling in love with you.

He’d offered her his heart, but she’d been too busy not wanting to face her own brokenness to see that he filled the emptiness inside her that had been left behind by her past and her refusal to let anyone reach her. In spite of the fact, Gage had.

“I need to find him.”

Bailey smiled across the table at her. “Gage.”

It wasn’t a question. She didn’t need to confess anything to Bailey, she’d known all along.

“Did he tell you?”

“He didn’t need to.” Bailey took a deep breath before pressing on. “Leah, he’s a good man. Not perfect, trust me,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “He’s made plenty of mistakes. We all have. But he’s still a good man, and that’s hard to find. I think you know that.”

Leah’s gaze met the intense blue stare across the table.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened, but I know pain when I see it, and it’s there in your eyes. You think it’s hidden beneath years of acting, but for those of us who’ve hurt and been hurt, we recognize it.” She nodded to the waitress as she brought the pitcher and glasses, pouring a drink and sliding it across the table to Leah. “But you can’t allow whatever has gone before to color your future. I nearly did, and it would have been a huge mistake. The future is yours to design.”

Bailey held up her glass, waiting for Leah to do the same. “To a bright future ahead, full of love and happiness.”

“I—”

“Excuse me,” a husky voice interrupted.

Leah looked up in the dark eyes of the man she wasn’t sure she could face. The same man she wanted to wrap her arms around.

“I
WAS HOPING
you’d let me take your picture. I want to show everyone exactly what the woman of my dreams looks like.”

Gage knew it was sappy, but it didn’t make it any less true. Leah had changed the way he looked at his life. It was no longer about the image he needed to portray publicly; it was no longer about providing for his family. He wanted her to love him, flaws and imperfections be damned.

“Gage.” Her voice was barely a whisper, as if she was afraid speaking his name would make him disappear. “What are you doing here?”

Bailey smiled up at the two of them, her grin broad and victorious. “I think I’ll just go . . . somewhere else.”

“You planned this, didn’t you?” He didn’t really need to hear her answer to know he was right. Her smile said it all as she patted his cheek. “I love you and I want to see you both happy. You’re good together. I couldn’t watch the two of you stupidly throw away something good because of a bump in the road.”

Gage slid into Bailey’s vacated seat. “If this is what she calls a bump, I’d hate to see a mountain.”

Leah simply stared at him, not giving him the smile he’d hoped for. He needed to see something other than shock on her face. The surprise didn’t tell him anything. He needed to know how she felt about his return.

He reached across the table for her hand. “Leah, say something.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

Gage felt his heart drop to his stomach. This wasn’t the response he’d hoped for from her. He needed to touch her, to remind her of how good they were together. She couldn’t really mean for this to be the end.

“Dance with me.” He rose and twisted his fingers through hers. “Please?”

Leah’s eyes misted, and she looked away, but he took a step toward her, brushing the back of his fingers at her jaw. “Leah, please? One dance, that’s all I’m asking for.”

“Okay.”

She stood up and let him lead her to the dance floor as the band played a slow ballad. Instead of sliding his hands to her waist, he tucked the hand holding hers against his chest, pressing a quick kiss to their linked fingers. His other hand found the center over her back, and he ducked his head, inhaling the sweet scent of her, letting it fill him and make his heart race. As the music filled the room, he swayed with her, her body fitting against his, making him ache with need. Holding her, the rest of the crowd disappeared. No one existed but the two of them in this moment.

The lights from the stage fell over her face; her cheek pressed against his chest. As if she could feel his gaze on her, Leah looked up at him, her eyes innocent, begging him for answers he wanted to give her.

“God, Leah, I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you feel like you needed to change.”

“Gage, don’t.”

He couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of him if he tried. It was like the dam had broken open, and he had to tell her everything or he’d fade into nothing.

“No, don’t stop me now.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I need
you
, not the other way around. You are perfect the way you are. There is nothing about you I would change except one thing—that I’m not with you.”

He stopped in the middle of the floor and cupped her face in his hands, lifting her chin so that she couldn’t help but see the truth in his eyes. “No matter what was going on in my life, there has always been something missing. You. You are what I can’t live another day without.”

A single tear slid from her golden brown eyes, and it broke him. He wanted her to know how he felt about her, but he couldn’t hurt her, and that was what he was doing. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and realized the music had ended and the band had picked up the pace, while they still stood in the middle of the floor.

“Let me take you home.”

“Gage,” she began. He didn’t want to hear her reject him again.

“Just a ride home, Leah. Nothing more. You don’t have to say anything.”

Please, don’t say anything
.

He’d made a big enough fool of himself. Gage went back to the table, where Bailey was waiting, a triumphant smile on her face.

She passed him Leah’s purse. “We girls watch out for one another.” Bailey arched a brow at him in warning. “I got you this far, now take her home and don’t screw this up.”

L
EAH
’
S INSIDES WERE
a whirlwind of turmoil. Her brain kept telling her to keep her mouth shut, that Gage was far better off finding someone else. Someone he could show off in public, someone whose past wouldn’t come back to haunt him, someone untainted. But her heart was breaking at the thought of letting him go for good. She wanted him; she loved him. And wanted to be loved by him in return.

You are perfect the way you are. There is nothing I would change. I need you.

The words she’d longed to hear from someone her entire childhood. Gage had given her the one thing she’d given up hope of ever getting. But in her heart, she knew now the words weren’t enough, no matter how much she tried to convince herself that they could be. The words only meant anything if they were coming from Gage.

The car was quiet as he drove her back to the ranch, but Leah’s pulse pounded in her ears. She wanted to say something, but she knew that they couldn’t have a discussion this way, in the car. She wanted to see his face, his eyes, to know that he understood her.

As if feeling her gaze on him, Gage reached his hand across the console of the Challenger, winding his fingers through hers.

“Leah, it’s okay. Your friendship means more to me than anything else.” He glanced her way, his dark eyes shadowed from the blue lights of the dashboard. “No matter what, I’m always your friend.”

Tears flooded her eyes, and she turned toward the window before he could see them. In twenty-seven years, only one person had stood by her, even in the face of her self-destructive tendencies, but now Gage was willing to take up the torch Nicole had held proudly.

Gage slowed as he drove past the spot where they’d first met, when her car had overheated. What she’d considered bad luck at the time had turned out to be one of the luckiest moments of her life. Had she not been stranded on the side of the road, he wouldn’t have been there to help her. Their initial miscommunication had turned into something they could laugh about, especially knowing him as well as she did now. Leah couldn’t help the smile that spread her lips as she thought about their first meeting.

“Don’t think I can’t see your smile reflected in the window.” He chuckled from beside her as he turned off the highway and headed down the road leading to Heart Fire Ranch. “I stand by my original comment. I was talking about the car. How many times do I have to tell you?”

If he could see her reflection, then he’d also seen her tears. As usual, there was nothing she could hide from him. She wiped a hand over her cheek before turning back to him. “I know you were.”

“You do?”

She nodded and smiled sadly. “If you’d been talking to me you’d have said something like ‘Did you sit in some sugar? Because you’ve got one sweet ass.’ ”

Gage laughed out loud, the sound rushing over her, filling the hollow places in her heart. “I would
never
say that.”

“No? Then it would have been ‘Was your dad a baker? Because you’ve got a great set of buns.’ ”

Gage groaned and rolled his eyes, but his smile grew wider as he turned down the long gravel driveway, passing the sign that announced their entry at the ranch. “Not even close.”

Gage slowed the car in front of the cabin, pretending he didn’t notice Jessie as she came out on the porch of the main house, watching, ever-vigilant. He shut off the car and faced Leah.

“You deserved one I’ve never used before.”

She could see the desire in his deep brown eyes as they swept over her, and she held her breath, unable to even ask him what it would have been. Gage gave her a half-smile, the one she’d always thought of as his playboy grin, but that, she now knew, was just Gage. Fun-loving, sweet, kind, gentle, flattering Gage. The man she wanted to throw her arms around and beg to love her forever.

He raised his hand and brushed her hair back from her face with a finger, barely caressing her as he tucked it behind her ear. “If beauty were time, you’d be an eternity.”

Her breath caught at the sweet seduction of his words, but before she could even respond, he got out of the car and walked around to open her door, holding out his hand to help her.

“I’ll walk you to your house.” He laced his fingers in hers and walked her to the front door, waiting as she unlocked it. Now was the time for her to finally tell him to stay, to tell him how she felt, and to apologize for the way she’d acted.

“Mind if I see the kittens one last time?”

Her heart sank when she heard the finality in his voice. It sounded too much like a good-bye. Her pulse picked up speed again, her heart pounding against her ribs. She either had to give up trying to control this situation, give in to the feelings she had for Gage, or let go of them altogether and lose the one chance at finding love with someone who accepted her for who she was.

Leah looked at Gage, trying to force her mind to make the decision her heart had already made. His eyes glowed in the light from the porch light, but he looked sad, troubled, as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what to say.

Leah’s heart raced in her chest as they stepped into the entry, her pulse beating out the words in a frantic rhythm.
Don’t do this! Stop now! Don’t say anything!

Part of her felt like a caged animal, desperate to run away, to hide from the man who held her captive as surely as if he had handcuffed her to his side. She wanted to hold onto her belief that he wanted something from her she couldn’t give, that he wanted to change her. But Leah was having a difficult time reconciling that man with the one who’d crawled under her house to rescue kittens. Or the man who’d held her as an anxiety attack wracked her body, leaving her a trembling mess. Or the man who’d made love to her with such reverence.

Part of her couldn’t turn away from him, couldn’t deny what he’d been making her feel since she’d met him on the side of the road what felt like an eternity ago. How could this man have reached into her soul the way he had in so short a time if he wasn’t the man she thought he was? Wasn’t it more likely that the fraud, the lie, was Gage trying to act like the cold-hearted businessman he’d forced himself to become?

There’s no going back.

Leah didn’t care. Her hands found his waist. Instead of pushing him away, she wrapped her arms around him, bracing her chin against his chest. “I said you couldn’t make me fall for you.”

“I remember.”

His voice was uncertain, as if he expected her to disappear, or ask him to leave. His hesitation was a contradiction of the confident, self-assured man she’d seen up to now.

“I lied.” She lifted onto her toes and pressed her lips against the curve of his jaw. “I already have. I love you, Gage. I think I’ve loved you since that night you stayed here and listened to me talk about my past. I didn’t recognize it as love then, but it was. You’ve seen the darkest parts of me, and you’ve never even batted an eye. I can’t help but love you.”

“Leah.” His voice was gravelly as his fingers buried into her hair, capturing her mouth with his, making desire curl through like morning fog, rolling in slowly, invading every crevice of her heart.

Her hands slid up his back, her fingers digging into the flesh desperately, unsure whether her heart was finally leading her toward her dreams or steering her directly into the face of disaster. With Gage’s body pressed against hers, she honestly didn’t care.

In a short time, he’d taught her to hope again, to quit listening to her doubts and fears. She needed him, needed to believe in him, because he believed in her. And if what he’d taught her to believe was a lie, then she really was the woman she’d tried to leave behind in Bakersfield, the woman she’d been outrunning since she was sixteen.

She needed to believe he was good and honorable and trustworthy, in spite of his mistakes, because then she could be as well.

G
AGE DIDN
’
T WANT
to question her, didn’t want to ask if she was sure. But doubts niggled at his conscience. Even as she tugged at his shirt, as his tongue swept into her mouth, the taste of her stripped away his sanity.

“Leah, wait.” He took a step back from her, his back hitting the door and just missing the paw of the Lab who had curled up behind him, realizing Gage was no threat to Leah. On the contrary, he was sure she posed a threat for his psyche. “You said—”

“I know what I said.” Her voice was breathless as she stepped into him again, pressing her lips against his neck, his jaw, and his lower lip. “And you were right, the falling part is easy. You promised not to hurt me, and I’m choosing to trust you.”

Gage ran his thumbs toward her chin, tipping her face so she could see the promise in his eyes. “I remember, and I still mean that, Leah.”

“I know you do.”

Gage slid his hands over her hips, lifting her so she could wind her legs around his waist as he carried her further into the house. He heard the growl from the living room before an excited whine sounded from the kitchen.

“Down, Razor,” Leah ordered.

The growling stopped immediately, but the whine closed in on them as Bingo began circling in front of Gage’s legs in a blur of black and white fur, nearly tripping him up and forcing him pause at the kitchen.

“Why do you have these dogs again?” Gage muttered against her lips as he flipped on the light to see both kittens sprawled along the back of the couch while Chaz lay in the middle of the living room on his back, spread-eagle and sound asleep.

“Because they’re therapy dogs to help with the kids. They’ve been good company for me when you were gone.”

He turned, settling her rear on the kitchen counter. “Leah, you know I only left because you told me to. It was something I never wanted to do.” He brushed the hair back from her face and kissed the tip of her nose. “I’ve been trying to figure out a way to convince you to let me back in since the morning I woke up with you in my arms. Nothing in my life has ever felt as good as you do.”