Catastrophe Practice (17 page)

The table and chairs, covered by the original CURTAIN, are in the structure of a nomad's tent, left of centre
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Norbert turns and makes patterns with his hands with the shadows that he casts from the window to the opposite wall
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He looks up at the flies
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Norbert has been making shadows move to and fro across Bert's face. Bert, with his back against the proscenium arch, left, appears to be asleep. Waldorf watches: then he makes a gesture for Smudger to get down. They get on to hands and
knees. They begin to crawl past the plate-glass window towards the front of the stage — as if keeping out of sight, or out of the light. When they reach the front, right, they turn and look back
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Norbert has knelt down by Geordie, who appears to be ill
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At the bar, the Barman and the Char are poring over their papers
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Norbert, helping Geordie, has begun to crawl past the plate-glass window to join Waldorf and Smudger at the front of the stage
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The Barman mimes tidying papers
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Norbert and Geordie have managed to join Waldorf and Smudger by the footlights
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The Four sit with their backs to the audience. The Char has been watching where they have cast shadows to the left. She calls —

Norbert is forcing Geordie's head down on his knees. Waldorf and Smudger are holding his arms and legs. It is uncertain if they are helping or hurting him
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The Char has her back to them
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Where did you find them?

The Barman comes from behind the bar and stands by the Char and puts an arm round her shoulders. They face where the shadows have been, left
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They seem to be waiting for more shadows on the wall
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Waldorf, Smudger and Norbert let go of Geordie. They recline, by the footlights, right, their backs to the audience
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They watch the Barman and the Char
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The Barman and the Char face the audience
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The Char looks up at the flies
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The Barman and the Char turn to the plate-glass window
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It is as if they have been uncertain, but have now decided, that this may be the front of the stage
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The Char looks at the Four by the footlights
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The Char turns and looks at the shelter, left
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Then the Char faces the audience
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The Barman stands watching the plate-glass. At the front of the stage, right, Norbert has turned and has stretched a hand out over the footlights. There seems to be no light on it. Norbert examines his hand. Then he looks up at the flies
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The Barman, watching the plate-glass, seems to be prompting someone —

Bert, by the proscenium arch, left, seems to wake up with a jerk
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He raises his rifle and fires three shots up at the flies
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There is a distant cry, as if from a woman: then, briefly, the sound of 1920s' dance music
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Then the music stops
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Bert looks at the Four by the footlights, right
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Norbert is watching him
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Geordie still has his head down by his knees
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Waldorf and Smudger are miming smoking. The light from beyond the window grows less bright
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Lights come on from above the stage
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Bert seems to go back to sleep
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After a time a flap is raised in the covering of the shelter, left, from the inside, and Harry puts his head out. He looks at the audience. Then he crawls out. He wears his old overcoat. He does not seem to have much on underneath. He crawls to the front of the stage and looks at the audience
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He closes his eyes
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Well she wasn't like that, no.

He looks at the audience
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If she were the sun and moon, and I were gravity —

He crawls round and mimes collecting firewood. When he seems to have collected a bundle he sits cross-legged at the front of the stage facing the audience and mimes making a fire. He mimes lighting it and blowing on it. After a time there appears at the doorway of the shelter the head of Sophie, the younger Hostess. She watches Harry. She crawls to the front of the stage. She is in her underclothes. She speaks facing the audience
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She closes her eyes
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Well he wasn't like that, no —

Harry has been miming taking a frying pan and holding it over the fire. He mimes dropping some bacon into it
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Sophie looks at the audience
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If he were the stream where I was born, and I were fishes —

After a time, Harry holds the pan out to Sophie. Sophie mimes taking a bit of bacon out of the frying pan and putting it in her mouth. She chews. Harry mimes taking a bit of bacon out of the frying pan. He seems to burn his fingers. He waves his hand about. They eat
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After a time the Char, who has been facing the audience, exclaims —

The Char turns to Sophie and Harry
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The Barman leaves the plate-glass window. He goes behind the bar
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They separate —

Harry and Sophie eat
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Then they mime finishing their breakfast, tidying up, and sitting around as if wondering what to do. Bert speaks as if still half asleep
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Bert stretches
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For a nice boy. Just down from the university —

Sophie is reclining on one elbow, as if facing the fire
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Did he or didn't he do his mother —

Bert stands
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Did or didn't he have a beard —

Harry is watching Sophie as if he were an artist and she were his model
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Bert calls
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Oi! They're on the green! They're getting into government!

He watches Harry
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Their washing's hanging out!

He waits
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Do you want your children to see it?

Harry mimes as if he might be making a drawing of Sophie
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Harry mimes putting his drawing-board down
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He looks at Bert
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Bert speaks mockingly
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— Go through that door —

Harry stands
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He says to Sophie
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Then he speaks to the audience
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The smell down there, honestly!

Waldorf, Smudger and Norbert look up at Harry
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Geordie turns and looks at the audience
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Bert has put his rifle down at the front of the stage, left. He goes to the Barman, takes him by the shoulder, and places him in front of the machine which is covered, right. The Barman stands there as if he were a waxwork
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Bert goes to the Char and takes her behind the bar where he places her with her elbows leaning on it: it is as if she were representing the Barman. Then Bert goes and squats down facing Sophie in the place that Harry has just left
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Harry speaks as if to the Four on the right
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He puts his hands to his head
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Didn't you hear us tapping?

Waldorf, Smudger and Norbert watch him
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You had food, didn't you? Wine —

He looks down at the audience
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You were kept alive — Kept animals —

He turns to the back of the stage
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Put your feet exactly where I do.

He begins to move towards the Barman at the back He seems to expect the Four to follow him, but they do not He stops with his back to the audience, one foot in front of the other, as if he were on a tight-rope
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After a time Bert, the Char and the Barman seem to prompt him, mockingly —

Harry moves on to the Barman at the back. He stands in front of him
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After a time the Four get up and follow him. Norbert supports Geordie. They move past the plate-glass window as if they are nervous of the light
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Harry speaks facing the Barman. He acts as if he is a guide of a party on a tour
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He waits
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