Captivated (23 page)

Lilli nodded in acceptance, taking the rectangular gift in her hands. They both remained still and Lilli willed her eyes to meet his. Immediately comforted by the tenderness in the honey color, she found the courage to speak. "I forgive you Sam, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to jump into your arms and get married. While I understand why you did what you did, it doesn't change the fact that I was hurt and confused by it. So, I think we need to start over, is that ok?"

"Of course it is! Would you like to give me some rules?"

"Nope, no rules, you can come see me or call me whenever you like and I can do the same. But when we get together, we talk, that's all. We'll just get to know each other. And I am telling you right now if you deceive me again, you won't get another chance."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he smiled widely, showing all of his teeth.

"What's that smile for?"

"Well, I know that I've gotten you the perfect gift, but I'm certain you don't realize you've given me the perfect gift."

"But I didn't give you a thing!"

"Yes you did, you gave me a chance." He brushed her cheek with his finger, then turned back toward the house, walking rather quickly. Lilli held in a laugh and started to follow. The house was still rowdy when they entered and no one seemed to notice Sam and Lilli's disappearance or when they slipped back in to join the festivities. Lilli enjoyed the day, but found herself looking forward to getting home. She was anxious to see just how perfect Sam's gift was.

It was nearly ten o'clock when Lilli finally found herself snuggled under the covers in her bed at the cottage. She was propped up against her pillows and held the slim rectangle in her hands. With a quick breath, she tore through the paper, revealing a leather bound book. A quizzical expression covered her face as she inspected the spine. Growing skeptical of Sam's gift buying abilities, she opened the book to the first page.

December 24, 1944

Dear Lilli,

Merry Christmas! This is your first perfect Christmas gift, and I hope you think it's as perfect as I do. I know that you are still undecided about me, and I don't know exactly when I'll be giving this to you. When you do get it, I hope you'll be willing to read it.

Lilli, your letters were the beginning of me falling in love with you, and I think my letters did the same for you. So, that is where the idea for this gift came from. I thought we could continue to write letters through this journal. I know that I've missed reading your letters, and I admit this might be a ploy to get to read some more of them. Your way with words should not be wasted just because we're close together.

Lilli, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met, and I hope that you will find a way to forgive me. All I can imagine for my future, is being able to be near you for the rest of my days. Your gentle spirit and quiet confidence, and the adorable way your cheeks flush when you're embarrassed or overwhelmed. Lilli I don't know if you're ready to hear this, but I can't stop myself from saying it. I am in love with you, and always will be. As I already said, your letters were the beginning of my love, but having you here has only caused it to increase. I hope that you will give me the chance to show you all that I feel.

Love Always,

Sam

Chapter 23

December 31, 1944

"Oh, Sam! I didn't expect to see you tonight." Sarah smiled, opening the door for him.

"I was hoping that I could spend New Years Eve with Lilli."

"With Lilli? Really Sam? Do you like her? Does she like you? Oh I was hoping a girl would come along to help you get over the girl from your letters, but Lilli? She's so wonderful! Do you really like her? To think, she could be my sister some day..."

"Sarah!" Sam laughed. "We are a long way from marriage, and Lilli is the girl from the letters. I'm surprised you never noticed the name."

"On the porch, now!" Sarah said in a hurried whisper, pushing him back through the door. All Sam could do was laugh at Sarah's surprise. "What do you mean she's the girl from the letters? How did she get here? I thought you said she never wanted to see you again."

"She did, but your sister Katie is a little sneak. Apparently, Lilli's friend Viv called Katie looking for a way to get the two of us together. Since you did need help with Gracie, Kate thought it was the perfect solution. When Lilli found me in the orchard she had quite a fit, but I convinced her to stay because you needed her. She warned me to keep my distance, and I have, until Christmas when she told me she forgave me."

"Oh Sammy! I wish I had known! I kept talking to her about you. I even told her about the girl you were writing that broke your heart! All the time it was her! I hope I didn't mess anything up."

"No Sarah, you didn't, in fact, if it wasn't for you and Gracie, she would have left weeks ago. Somehow, I think if you had known it would have strained things. So, thank you for just being you."

Sarah gave him a quick squeeze and looked up at him with eyes that matched his own, "It all makes sense, I always wondered why she acted so strangely when you were around, I just thought she was embarrassed."

"She was definitely struggling with more than embarrassment."

Sarah sighed, pulling Sam close again, her eyes meeting his, "Do I have to tell you how much I approve?" Sam smiled and shook his head. "Good, but don't you mess this up, do you understand me?"

"Am I to understand that you are taking her side over your own brothers?" he teased.

"You will always be my brother and I will always love you, but yes, I'm taking her side."

Sam let out a huge laugh as he threw his arm over his sister's shoulder and walked back into the house. He noticed Lilli in the kitchen, her hair was pulled back with a ribbon, and she was wearing an oversized sweater and a pair of light blue flannel pajama pants. When she saw Sam, a deep blush covered her cheeks.

"I didn't expect anyone tonight," Lilli said, covering herself by crossing her arms.

Sam smiled, "Sorry for not calling, but I thought I could spend New Years Eve here with you two." Sam noticed the discomfort and disappointment on her face, but continued. "No need to change, I'm sure you were looking forward to a New Years Eve where you didn't have to dress up."

"I'm in my pajamas Sam."

"Yes you are, and you look very pretty. Sarah, why don't you go put your pajamas on. Nothing fancy, we'll listen to the radio, play a couple games, and pop popcorn or something. Maybe you have some of those delicious peanut butter cookies left?"

Sarah laughed, "Sounds like fun, we don't have any cookies, but we certainly have enough time to make a batch. Maybe I should call Kate and Annie to see if they want to come."

Sam noticed that Lilli was becoming more relaxed and thanked Sarah with his eyes. "Kate is out with Wes, but you can call Annie, she might be home."

Sarah nodded, picking up the telephone, "Hey Annie? Are you busy? Great! Do you want to come over here for the night? We're going to play games and bake. Ok, we'll see you in a bit, oh, and wear your pajamas!" Sarah laughed, returned the phone to the receiver, and turned back to them. "I'm going to go get into my pajamas and check on Grace, you two start those cookies."

Sam took off his coat and headed toward the kitchen, Lilli was smiling at him, but still looked a little uncomfortable. "Thank you for the gift, I loved it."

"You're very welcome," he said with a smile.

"Would you like a cup of coffee while I make the cookies?"

"While you make the cookies?" his eye brows raised with the question. "I'm here to help! Consider me your assistant, what can I get for you?"

Lilli laughed, "You are going to help me bake cookies?"

Sam smiled, rolled up his sleeves and washed his hands. "Yes ma'am I am! So what can I get for you?"

"Well alright, I need peanut butter to start and it's on a high shelf, so you can work on that while I get some things I can reach."

Sam obeyed, finding the peanut butter easily then moving onto the other ingredients she asked for. Lilli continued to give instructions and he followed them quickly. When it came to mixing, he anticipated her questions and was there when she needed him. He even went so far as insisting she let him mix.

It felt wonderful to be so close to her and know she wasn't angry with him. He could tell she was nervous, but in his mind, that was a good sign. Sarah was certainly taking her time with Grace and while they were shaping the cookies, Sam decided to talk.

"I've just finished Northanger Abbey, and I think I am very like Mr. Tilney."

"Like I said in my letter Sam, you can not self proclaim your own likeness to one of Ms. Austen's characters. Someone else has to!" Lilli said with an exasperated but amused sigh.

"Well can't you see the similarity? I am good natured and fun, handsome, charming. Surely you see the things we have in common."

"I don't seem to recall Mr. Tilney being incredibly big headed, his older brother played that roll in the story. You are also not incredibly rich , and I wonder if you would go against your fathers wishes to marry the woman you really love."

"I hope my similarity doesn't hinge on that comparison because my father happens to think very highly of the woman I love." He watched with pleasure as Lilli's cheeks flamed in embarrassment. Holding back his laughter, he continued to press cookies onto the tray. Sarah joined them in the next minute and Annie's knock came shortly after.

They all sipped coffee while the cookies baked and Sarah pulled out an old board game for them to play. The radio's special programs filled the room with festive music and Lilli laughed in delight as she beat Sam in all three games. Finally as midnight neared, Sam swung Sarah up and insisted upon a New Years Eve dance. Annie was next and then finally, he offered a hand to Lilli, who, though hesitant, accepted graciously.

Sam smiled down at her in complete contentment. She felt wonderful in his arms, her hand fit perfectly in his and his arm pulled in all of her slim frame. Holding her as close as she would allow, he could smell the fragrance of her hair and again he felt himself captivated by her.

When the song ended, he hated to let her go. His hand lingered for a moment and then he released her. She was flushed again, but something in her manner told him that the blush was not because of embarrassment, but another emotion entirely. Hope was building in Sam as it never had before. The temptation was to move quickly, but he knew if he had any kind of chance he would have to move at Lilli's pace, which for now, was slow.

. . .