Captivated (14 page)

"He's been a wreck all the way across the Atlantic, I don't know that he's going to go see her with the way he's been talking." Wes commented, laughing.

"Come now Wes, it's not funny," Kate said, shoving him in annoyance. "I understand how much is riding on what you say. But if you never say anything you'll lose her. Sammy, you have to go now, she's going to leave, and then you'll never find her."

"I know where she lives..." Sam said.

"Samuel! You will not let that poor girl wait in the rain for someone who isn't coming! She deserves the truth, and you won't be able to rest until you know what she thinks of your explanation. Go and get it over with!" Kate said forcefully.

"Ok," Sam said under a huge sigh, "Wes, take Katie back to the
hotel
will you? I don't want either of you to have to wait for me, I don't know how long this will take. I'll grab a taxi when I'm finished."

"Sam, I don't need Wes to look after me, I'm not a child!" Kate whined.

"Kate, you are both going to the same place, just go with him, please? It will make me feel better."

"Fine!" Kate huffed, turning on her heel with Wes behind her, muttering to herself. "He's not even home for ten minutes and he's already right back to looking after me like I'm a little girl." Spinning back around she made another point to her brother, "The hotel is only two blocks south of here, we'll walk and leave the truck for you." She threw the keys to him easily, he was about to object, insisting they take the car and he walk, when he remembered his knee. He nodded and headed purposefully toward Lilli on his crutches. Kate quickened her step, tucking herself behind the first building she saw, reaching for Wes, pulling him close. Without hesitation their lips met, Kate's fingers running through the thick brown hair she thought she'd never feel again. She pulled him closer, causing him to groan and she fell against the wall.

Her breath was heavy, but she reached up to touch his stubble dusted chin. "Oh how I missed you!" she breathed. "It was all I could do not to jump into your arms at the sight of you!"

"I hardly think my shoulder would have survived it." Wes laughed, his eyes roaming over her, seemingly memorizing every inch of her.

"Do you think Sam suspects?" Kate asked.

"No, he's too preoccupied. Even if he wasn't, that line about your not needing me to look after you was quite convincing, I almost believed you myself."

"Well you should have, I don't need you to look after me...but I do need you." She popped up on her toes to give him another quick kiss.

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Did you also like the way I shoved you when you were laughing at Sam?"

"Yes, smart thinking." Wes smiled, putting his good arm around her shoulder. "But, in all honesty, I don't think we need to keep it a secret anymore. Sam is going to find out eventually, and he might be just as mad if he finds out we've been keeping it from him."

"Wes, we only started seeing each other just before you left. We only had two weeks of normal dating before you were shipped away to fight in this awful thing. Both of us agreed that until we knew we would stay together forever, we wouldn't tell Sam. I couldn't face being the reason you lost your best friend, and I would never want you to get in trouble with him for breaking my heart."

"So you're telling me you don't think we'll stay together forever?" He asked seriously, leaning himself against her, his forehead touching hers, his hazel eyes peering into her brown ones.

"You know that's not what I mean. I love you Wes Mason, but all we have are letters, secret letters. I haven't kissed you in two years, and you have no idea what life is going to be like at home for you now. Can't we keep it a secret for a little while longer?" she pleaded, her eyes wide and pressing.

"Alright, but only a little while. It takes everything inside of me not to shout from the rooftops that I'm in love with the prettiest girl in Virginia." he smiled, dipping to kiss her again.

"Ok Wes."

"Now, how's about you and me go get a little dinner? I have a feeling Sam won't be back for a while."

"What if he does comes back? He'll wonder where we were, what will we say?"

"We'll tell him we were hungry and we couldn't wait. Believe me, it won't be lying, I've been eating disgusting army food for two years, a greasy hamburger sounds like heaven right now."

Kate laughed, starting to walk, "There's a diner about a block from the hotel. This is kind of exciting, I've been waiting two years for our first official date." Her eyes sparkled in the rain as she gazed up at him. "I just hope Sam is doing alright with Lilli..."

. . .

Sam moved with careful, calculated strides on his crutches, the light rain getting him wet quickly. He didn't stop, knowing full well that if he did, he would lose his nerve. Her auburn hair still hung perfectly curled down her back despite the humidity and rain. As he approached, she tightened.

"Miss Windsor?" Sam asked, his chest tightening at the sight of her. She was more beautiful in person than in her picture, how he wished he could pick her up and propel her into a spin right this moment. She turned, looking at him thoughtfully when recognition came over her.

"I recognize you! You're one of Joe's friends, Sam right? He sent me a picture with you in it."

"Yes ma'am." he answered, amazed that he was able to reply at all. The lilt of her voice was so soothing and becoming, and only served to increase his love for her. She sparkled with life, excitement and anticipation brimming from the blue violet of her eyes. His dreams had not been this wonderful.

"I am so happy to meet you!" she said with genuine sincerity. "I thought you were dead because Joe never spoke of you in his letters. Can I share my umbrella with you until Joe arrives?"

Sam knew there would be no easy way to continue the conversation. He shook his head at her kind invitation, wanting desperately to be cuddled beside her under the umbrella, but not trusting his own willpower to be so close to her. "Is there somewhere a little more dry we could sit and talk?"

He watched as concern and worry fell over her features, like one of the dark clouds in the sky above them. All he wanted to do was comfort her, but he knew that to her, he was a stranger, for now. She gazed back at the large boat behind him before nodding, leading the way towards a brightly lit coffee shop.

"Can I take your crutches?" she asked as Sam slid carefully into the both. It amazed him that she was being so caring when he knew she was worried about the man she thought she loved. He couldn't imagine loving her any more than he had before stepping off the boat, but he had been wrong. At this moment his heart was filled with admiration, respect, and love for the woman who sat demurely in front of him.

"Are you hungry? Should we order something?" Sam asked. "Maybe a piece of chocolate cake?"

"Sure," she answered with a quiet smile. "Chocolate cake is my favorite."

Sam smiled, fighting back the urge to say he knew. He looked up at the waitress, "A piece of chocolate cake, cherry pie and two cups of coffee please."

A moment passed after the waitress left and Lilli's soft voice sounded. "Will you please tell me where Joe is? I know you're trying to be kind, but it's only making me more concerned. His telegram said he'd be home on September 4th, and that's today. You seemed to know I'd be here, but where is he?" she said, a sob escaping on the last word.

Sam breathed deeply, steadying himself by gripping the table, "Joe, is not coming home...Joe died in France."

Lilli drew in breath quickly, quiet hysterics following. Her head dropped into her hands and she wept. Sam managed to get up, sliding beside her, wrapping an arm around her. She let her head fall onto his shoulder and he held her tightly. The aroma of her hair drifted to his nose, and the curve of her body against his own was almost too much to take. He prayed silently that soon she would be his very own, and this hug would not be foreign to him after tonight. He knew there was more to say, and knew that the explanation would lessen her grief, but might increase her anger.

The waitress came and set down their desserts, uncertain of what else to do. Lilli managed to get a hold of herself and assured Sam that she was alright. He moved back to the other side of the table and watched her chest rise and fall in heaves as she tried to keep herself calm. She took bite of her cake and sip of her coffee which seemed to settle her even more. With another shaky breath, she spoke again, "When?"

"Lilli, this is when it becomes difficult..." he said carefully. Lilli nodded, listening intently, her almost violet eyes were as big as saucers.

"Joe died on May 15, 1943." he said slowly, trying to remain calm, waiting for her reaction.

"No, no, he's been writing to me for two years, I received this telegram just two weeks ago!" she cried, pulling out the crumpled piece of paper as evidence. "He, injured his knee, that's why he was being shipped home, he injured his..." Suddenly she looked up, the crutches leaning against the booth catching her eye. "Why do you need crutches?"

"I injured my knee..." Sam said bluntly. "I wrote the telegram, and I've been the one writing to you. I've been writing to you since Joe's death..."

"What?" she said in a breath, unbelief laced around the word.

"I was supposed to write condolence letters to all of Joe's girls. I came upon yours and felt compelled to open it. I read each letter you had written, and the letter that came from my own pen was not one of condolence."

"You lied to me?" she accused quietly. It was apparent that she was hurt, and confused, but her volume did not increase.

"No, never lied."

"You let me believe you were Joe, you never said you were someone else, what is that if it wasn't lying?" she pressed, hands tightly gripping her coffee cup.

"I never said I was Joe, and everything in those letters was me. I told you about my dreams, my fears, my family. I began the first letter believing I had to talk to you, then I couldn't bear to tell you in a letter, especially at the thought that I might not get home..." he explained, hoping that some of it was making sense to her.

"I thought I was writing to someone else! I was praying for Joe, dreaming of Joe, worrying about Joe. Not only do I feel like a complete and utter fool, but you have shattered every hope of trust." Lilli spoke the words with grief more than anger. Her words were soft, and her movements slow and fluid as she slid out of the booth and pulled on her trench. Making quick work of the buttons, she turned away, her shoes squeaking on the linoleum.

"You promised you'd love me no matter what." he said desperately, hoping it would be enough to make her realize that it was him that she loved.

Lilli spun on her heels, rage lighting her eyes, but there was no evidence of it in her calm, soft voice. "I said I would love Joe Sinclair, and
you
are not, Joe Sinclair. Please, stay away from me." Tears streamed down her face as she left, leaving Sam at the table, alone, gutted.

It wasn't what he had hoped for, but was similar to what he had imagined might happen. Sam almost wished that Lilli had gotten angry, really angry with the news he had to bring. Her calm was almost unnerving. She was not being irrational, it was very clear that she had thought carefully about each word she spoke. He feared that she had meant for him to stay away, but that was something he couldn't do. Now more than ever he realized the intensity of his feelings toward her, and while he didn't know how he would do it right now, he knew he had to find away to get her back and earn her trust. This time he would be a great deal more careful with it, understanding the full impact of all he had done to their relationship with his letters.