Calming the Rush of Panic (19 page)

Mindful recognition of each of your senses also connects you directly with the world around you. Through sensory meditation, you allow for time to be still in nature, which in turn creates a stillness of mind. May you carry this peaceful stillness and awareness of all that is sacred with you at all times.

Happiness and Love

If you’re a busy bee and a multitasker, you may find that even on your days off, you just don’t get the rest and relaxation that your mind and body need and crave. When you’re at home doing endless chores—watering the plants, emptying the trash, sweeping the floor—the following practice will assist you in deepening your connection to what you value most in life, such as happiness and love.

If you’re currently dealing with panicky thoughts or feelings, give yourself permission to take a restful moment to pause, observe/experience, and allow. You can also feel into your connection with the earth and all that is around you. That you are part of the “web of life” and not separate from it. You won’t regret this chance to anchor yourself in the joy and tenderness that is within and around you.

1. Whether you’re sitting down or moving about in your activity, take a quick
   pause
   to congratulate yourself for setting this time aside just for you and your well-being.
   
2. Find your breath and follow the flow of air passing in and out of your body. Pay attention to each breath, noticing where it goes, what it does, how it feels, when it draws in, and when it releases. Notice how each breath affects your mind and body.
   
3. Consider what kind of intentions you would like to set for this practice. The following intentions might work for you, or feel free to design your own intentions to fit your situation and desires. You may say aloud or to yourself:
   May this practice open my heart to joy and love. May this practice foster a deeper awareness of the happiness all around me. May I feel supported in ways that will deepen my connection to the universe and the “web of life.”
   
4. Observe and experience
   any and all thoughts, feelings, and sensations that rise to the surface. Without attaching a label of good or bad to each feeling, simply notice what you experience as a matter of fact, as if listing off your to-do items. You might be feeling, for example, item number one: annoyed with teenage son, check! Item number two: pissed off with coworker, check! Item number three: excited about upcoming plans with girlfriend, check! Item number four: aggravated by acidy feeling in stomach, check! And so on.
   
5. As you continue with your chores, remember to breathe mindfully. Each breath is an opportunity to be present and aware of your mind and body.
   
6. Be mindful if a happy memory, such as a recent birthday, or a smile from someone you love, or a compliment from your supervisor arises while you are doing your chores. Rest your thoughts for a moment on the feelings and sensations that this memory stirs in you, and then come back into the present moment, sweeping, washing the dishes, or whatever you are doing with mindful awareness.
   
7. Remember to breathe mindfully from time to time and stay in the present moment with the task at hand.
   
8. Gently call your attention to whatever is happening emotionally and mentally in this moment, with kindness and tenderness.
   Allow
   thoughts and feelings to arise, indifferent to whether they feel good or bad, and just let them take their natural course. Feel your friends and loved ones holding space for your panic and sending you love and tenderness. Feel the earth holding space for your feelings and sending you more joy and happiness. Experience the sense of connection that you have with all beings on the planet who also long to be happy and feel loved. We are all in it together, spiraling through space, with common feelings and desires and hopes.
   

May your heart dwell in the joy of each moment and find love at every turn, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing.

Interconnectedness

Life is full of marvelous and cherished moments. Some of those noteworthy times stick with you, while some are soon forgotten. This next practice, a version of S.T.O.P., will help anchor you in those glorious moments and strengthen your interconnectedness to the “web of life,” particularly when you’re drowning in a panic attack. With regular use, it will help decrease your panic and transform your life in enriching ways. Try it now.

You can do this practice sitting, standing, or lying down, at home, at work, or while running errands. If it helps, reflect on a time when you watched a sunset or sunrise. Maybe you were heading into work in the early hours of the morning and glimpsed the sun rising, casting its warm, golden light across the highway. Or maybe one evening you were in your apartment when you noticed the sun setting, splashing an amber glow on your walls and floor.

1. Take this mindful moment to stop. You are consciously taking a time-out to bring mindfulness into your mind and body and to be present, so congratulate yourself.
   
2. Gently put your attention on your body: the position of your arms, legs, torso, and head. Let the sensations come and go, and let your body unwind into a comfortable position. Allow any tension in your body to soften, and let go of as much tension as you can without force or pressure. Acknowledge this body of yours and its sacred bond with all of nature. Your body is grounded to the earth, which you share and inhabit with all other beings. All life is connected.
   
3. As your body continues to settle and unwind, purposely pay attention to the natural process and physical sensations of your breathing. Take a breath and notice where your breath is entering and leaving your body most easily. You may want to focus on the tip of your nose or on the chest or belly. Do whatever works. Bring your attention to where it’s easiest to experience the sensations of your breath coming and going. Remember, you are breathing with all other breathing beings—plants, people, other animals; even the earth is breathing. And you are breathing with the earth. Feel each breath as it connects to the “web of life,” all things inhaling and exhaling together.
   
4. Observe, acknowledge, and allow what’s here right now for you. What’s on your mind or in your heart? You may be thinking:
   I need to call Mom. The house is a mess. I hate being late; it makes me stressed out and panicky. What if I freak out and have a meltdown in front of everyone? That would be mortifying.
   Witness whatever thoughts or feelings arise. Acknowledge them and let them be. Let them come in like an unannounced guest, and watch them go out again.
   
5. Remember to be conscious of your breathing: in and then out, in and then out again.
   
6. Take this peaceful moment to recognize the self-reliance that you carry with you at all times, the ability to understand and transform your panic into greater acceptance and tenderness. You cannot stop the ocean waves, nor the waves of your panic, but you can learn to ride it out, moment by moment, breath by breath. You can learn to accept yourself just the way that you are in this moment. You can learn to pay attention with mercy and affection.
   
7. Connect with your breathing again, and on your next exhale, let go of whatever thoughts and feelings or whatever old story you’re attached to right now and release it, sending it outward with your breath. Make each breath count for anchoring you deeper in your awareness of the cycles of light and dark on the horizon, the highs and lows of panicky feelings, everything connected, everything evolving, everything cycling and changing.
   

Take this calming memory with you wherever you go, to instill a feeling of interconnectedness with this ever-spiraling, magical ball in the galaxy.

Supporting Your Practice

We suggest that you continue on this mindful journey, making mindfulness a way of life. You will come to undertstand that wherever you go, here you are. You can only live in the present moment, because the future has not yet happened and the past is already gone. This is your practice: to be present to whatever’s happening in your life. The only moment you ever really have and live in is right now, and this is where the rubber meets the road; this is where you can make a difference in your life.

You have been introduced to a number of formal meditation practices: mindful breathing, the body scan, mindful inquiry, sitting meditation, loving-kindness meditation, and the “web of life” meditation. You are welcome to make these mindful practices your own. We recommend that you be grounded in mindful breathing as a daily practice that can help you build stability, balance, and calmness. As far as how long to meditate each day, start with short periods and build it up. Better to get five, ten, or fifteen minutes of practice in, rather than trying to do more and getting frustrated and giving up.

From time to time, practice the body scan, sitting meditation, loving-kindness meditation, or the “web of life” meditation—listen inside yourself to what feels right for you. You may also want to practice mindful inquiry as a way to explore more deeply what lies within you. No matter what practice you do, may you begin and end with some moments of loving-kindness. Whenever you make time for meditation, it’s important to offer yourself kindness. It takes courage for any of us to sit and be present to ourselves amidst our ten thousand joys and sorrows.

You have also been introduced to informal practices of bringing mindfulness into your daily activities. You can be mindful while doing chores, at work, driving, brushing your teeth, washing your hands, eating, talking, or doing anything else. Make it a way of life to be mindful; of course, there will be many moments when you’re not. The good news is that the moment you realize you are not present, you are! This is where the practice begins again and again. It’s also important to know that there’s nothing you can do about where you’ve been wandering, but there’s everything you can do about being back in the here and now—thus the practice begins again and again.

Last, you’ve been introduced to other informal mindfulness practices: S.T.O.P., R.A.I.N., and “Pause, Observe/Experience, and Allow.” Feel free to use the one that feels right for you in the moment. Each of these practices is an invaluable aid for managing and transforming your moments of panic and angst.

Closing Words

With the practice of mindfulness you can learn to bring your presence into the here and now, since this is where life is truly lived. In time you will grow in balance and ease with yourself and others as you lie, stand, walk, or sit. You will learn to mindfully respond to your thoughts rather than reacting to them. This will nourish your relationships with others to help both you and them grow in mutually healthy ways. So why not give it a try and see what happens when you begin to watch the show of your own stories, rather than getting so caught up in the drama? It’s like being at a theater and just watching the actors. You don’t need to be the star.

There’s a saying in the Thai forest Buddhist tradition: If you let go a little, you’ll have a little happiness; if you let go a lot, you’ll have a lot of happiness; if you let go completely, you’ll have complete happiness. So what would it be like to lessen your grasping and clinging? What would happen if you could begin to soar with things as they are and trust that you are not forsaken—that you will be held in the heart of this vast and mysterious universe?

As you continue to observe and allow what’s within your body, emotions, and thoughts, you will gradually understand the makeup of your own mind and body and experience more freedom from panic or whatever enslaves you. You will not be so confined by a limited definition of who you think you are and will come to understand Einstein’s wisdom of breaking free of this feeling that you are “separate from the rest,” which he calls “a kind of optical delusion of consciousness” (
New York Post
, November 28, 1972).

Through the “web of life” and loving-kindness practices you will begin to feel more connected to yourself, to the people around you, to the natural world, and to the universe. As your experience of interconnection grows, you’ll also find more purpose in life and have more participation and engagement with it.

Achaan Chah (1985, 162), a wise Thai forest Buddhist meditation master, points the way to this discovery by inviting us to sit back and watch the workings of our mind and body so that we grow in deep understanding and wisdom.

Try to be mindful, and let things take their natural course. Then your mind will become still in any surroundings, like a still forest pool. All kinds of wonderful, rare animals will come to drink at the pool, and you will clearly see the nature of all things. You will see many strange and wonderful things come and go, but you will be still. This is the happiness of the Buddha.

May we also remember that meditation is an act of love, a journey of befriending ourselves, others, and the world. Bob Sharples (2003, 18), an Australian meditation teacher, says this so eloquently:

Don’t meditate to fix yourself, to heal yourself, to improve yourself, to redeem yourself; rather, do it as an act of love, of deep warm friendship to yourself. In this way there is no longer any need for the subtle aggression of self-improvement, for the endless guilt of not doing enough. It offers the possibility of an end to the ceaseless round of trying so hard that wraps so many people’s lives in a knot. Instead there is now meditation as an act of love. How endlessly delightful and encouraging.

As you grow in mindfulness, you will become more settled with yourself, others, and the world. We would like to offer this last, beautiful poem to you, by Wendell Berry, “The Peace of Wild Things” (1998), which speaks of this safety and ease and the interconnectedness of life.