Calming the Rush of Panic (16 page)

A human being is part of the whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

To help dissolve this illusion of separateness, we would like to introduce you to the formal MBSR practice of loving-kindness meditation as well as the “web of life” meditation for cultivating feelings of safety, compassion, and love. Over time, these practices will increase your feelings of connection not only to yourself, but also to your family, friends, work associates, and fellow living beings, the world around you, and the universe.

It’s also fair to say that most of us have already tasted or had glimpses of this interconnectedness to the “web of life” but may have not fully recognized that it was happening because we were so absorbed in the experience itself. Here are some examples: a time you spent watching a beautiful sunrise or sunset, or out on a beautiful walk in nature, or having an intimate moment with someone you love that made you feel so connected that everything felt just perfect. In such moments, most likely all your panic was gone and you had a sense that you were part of a big and beautiful universe and that everything was not just okay, but exquisite. We trust that you’ve had brief moments like these, and through mindfulness, loving-kindness, and “web of life” practices you’ll experience more of them.

Loving-Kindness Meditation

Loving-kindness meditation is a very powerful practice for moving your heart to greater compassion and love for yourself, all living beings, and the world. When your heart is open and not closed or hardened with panic, you can journey through life with greater ease of being. Just as lighting a small candle can dispel the darkness, a heart filled with loving-kindness dispels the panic all around it.

It’s also important to mention that sometimes when you practice loving-kindness meditation, it can bring up feelings opposite to loving-kindness, such as resentment, anger, envy, sadness, and even rage. We want you to know that this is normal and that there’s actually a reason why these opposite feelings arise. They are showing you directly and clearly where you’re stuck or holding back from loving-kindness. Therefore it’s important to identify and acknowledge any unresolved feelings and work to reconcile them. This act of making amends will begin to open the doorway and heal your heart. As you acknowledge your emotional pain, your compassion and love will naturally grow and flow. By bringing mindfulness to whatever you’re feeling, you’ll gradually find your way into your heart and the hearts of others. May you hold yourself with great care, compassion, and kindness.

Foundational Practice: Loving-Kindness Meditation

As in other formal meditations, find a quiet place and sit upright on a cushion or chair. If you prefer, you may lie down on a bed or carpet, as long as you can remain alert and comfortable. Turn off your phone and any other electronic device that could disturb you. Read and practice the script for this guided meditation below, pausing briefly after each paragraph, or feel free to download a recording from New Harbinger Publications at
www.newharbinger.com/25264
. You can download a fifteen-, thirty-, or forty-five-minute version.

As you practice this meditation, if any of the phrases in the script do not resonate with you, feel free to replace them with ones that do. Once you learn the spirit of loving-kindness meditation, you can make it your own. Let it be alive and real and not just some formulaic recitation of words or phrases that have little meaning and vitality to you.

Begin your practice by congratulating yourself that you are dedicating some precious time for meditation.

As you begin to stop and become present, bring your awareness to your body and mind and check in with yourself on how you’re feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally, and acknowledge whatever is present. This might be the first time you are stopping today, so just feel what is present within you without any censorship. Simply allowing and acknowledging whatever is within and just letting it be without evaluation, judgment, or any form of analysis.

Gradually, shift the focus of your awareness to the breath, breathing normally and naturally. As you breathe in, be aware of breathing in, and as you breathe out, be aware of breathing out. Just being aware of breathing.

You are welcome to focus your breathing on the abdomen or nose, depending on your preference. Just living life one inhalation and one exhalation at a time, breathing in and breathing out.

Now gently bring your awareness into your heart area, feeling any waves of sensations and allowing them to go wherever they need to go.

The heart is the gateway into deeper compassion and love for yourself and for all beings. Feel into your own precious heart and life with compassion, mercy, and love. Know that you are doing the best you can and that all of your past has led you into this moment that can now be met with greater understanding and compassion.

Feel into the powerful qualities of loving-kindness itself, a boundless love that can be compared to the moon, stars, or sun, all of which shine on all living beings without separation, distinction, or prejudice.

Bring this love into your own heart and feel it absorb into all the cells of your body and your being. May you open to deep kindness and compassion for yourself just as you are, imperfectly perfect as you are.

At times you may struggle to feel loving or compassionate toward yourself. If so, work with this by acknowledging your feelings, whatever they are.

It may be helpful at times to reflect upon the following phrases, letting them sink into your being. If you find the phrases helpful, use them; if you find them not helpful or difficult to relate to, make up your own. May you trust your inner knowing to find the gateway into your heart.

May I be safe.

May I be healthy.

May I have ease of body and mind.

May I be at peace.

Now expand the field of loving-kindness to your teachers, mentors, and others who have inspired you, repeating the same phrases:

May my teachers and my mentors be safe.

May my teachers and my mentors be healthy.

May my teachers and my mentors have ease of body and mind.

May my teachers and my mentors be at peace.

Now gradually expand the field of loving-kindness to those near and dear to you, such as your family, friends, and community:

May my near and dear ones be safe.

May my near and dear ones be healthy.

May my near and dear ones have ease of body and mind.

May my near and dear ones be at peace.

Now further extend the field of loving-kindness to people you feel neutral toward, such as acquaintances and strangers:

May my neutral ones be safe.

May my neutral ones be healthy.

May my neutral ones have ease of body and mind.

May my neutral ones be at peace.

Now consider extending loving-kindness to those who give you difficulty, such as your enemies. It may seem challenging or even next to impossible to send loving-kindness to this group, so it may be wise to first consider whether you get any benefit from holding grudges. Does holding a grudge promote your health and well-being? For many people it does not, and you may begin to understand that at the very least it is more skillful to work on neutralizing these strong feelings that can be so toxic to your being.

You can begin by sending compassion to yourself and then wisely reflecting upon reconciliation and considering that reconciliation is really for your benefit and not the other person’s. You may even begin to see more clearly that the causes of people’s hurting one another are fear and unawareness and that perhaps neither you nor the difficult person is “bad,” merely unaware and scared.

May you open your heart and extend loving-kindness even to the difficult ones, and then further extend the wish that they each find the gateway into their own hearts, gaining greater awareness and transforming their fear into love. Gently and slowly send loving-kindness to your difficult ones or enemies:

May my difficult ones be safe.

May my difficult ones be healthy.

May my difficult ones have ease of body and mind.

May my difficult ones be at peace.

Now taking some time to remember those who are going through hard times, both those you know personally and those you don’t, and extending your goodwill and wishes of healing. Letting none be forsaken, may those who are suffering in any way be at peace.

Building this loving-kindness energy to become as boundless as the sky and beginning to radiate it to all human beings and all living beings. Sending loving-kindness to all living beings near and far, even those yet to be born. May all beings be at ease.

Sending this vast love to all beings who live on or in the earth, in the water, and in the air, spreading loving-kindness in all directions:

May all beings be safe.

May all beings be healthy.

May all beings have ease of body and mind.

May all beings be at peace.

Now extend this love outward, without boundaries or limits, into the solar system and then throughout the universe.

May all beings everywhere be safe, be healthy, and dwell with peace.

Gently now returning to the breath, feeling your whole body, as you breathe in and out. Feel the entire body rising on an inhalation and falling on an exhalation. Feeling the body as a complete organism that is connected and whole. Feel how you are connected to the earth below you and to all that is around and above you. Feeling yourself to be a precious part of this “web of life,” interconnected to it all.

As you come to the end of this meditation, take a moment to congratulate yourself for the time you have spent, and may you share any merits you have gained with all beings. Begin to gently wiggle your toes and fingers, opening your eyes and being here and now.

May all beings be at peace.

How to Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation

We recommend that you incorporate loving-kindness meditation into your formal practice of mindfulness by following any other meditation, such as mindful breathing, the body scan, or sitting meditation, with a short, abbreviated loving-kindness meditation. This will really help balance your practice of mindfulness and decrease moments of panic as you open to more safety and compassion for yourself. You are also welcome to practice loving-kindness meditation solely whenever you like. Some people prefer a daily practice, while others practice it once a week or as desired. Find a time that works best for you, since everyone is different. Whatever time you do it is the best time. Let this be a practice you look forward to doing, a gift to yourself as a way to become more balanced within your body and mind. Feel free to use an alarm clock or timer.

The Web of Life

We would like to now introduce you to the “web of life” practice, a simple and yet profound reminder of the sacredness and interconnectedness of life. You can do this practice anywhere, at any time, to help decrease panic and transform your life.

Take a moment right now to open to your senses. Look around the room and notice colors and shapes. Listen to sounds, smell any scents, bring your awareness to any tastes lingering in your mouth, and feel any sensations in your body and let them all be. Just be present with all that’s here in this moment, without trying to change anything. Acknowledge any thoughts and emotions you’re feeling, and let them be as well. As you let things be, feel your place in this universe; you are neither more nor less than anyone else. The very elements that make up your body are made from the universe, and you can never be separated from it.

Life is indeed made of moments. See whether you can pause and reflect on how we are all so integrally connected to one another—we all breathe and share the same air and live in this world. As you experience more deeply this interconnected “web of life,” your panic will gradually fade away. You will begin to feel safe and at ease, knowing that you have not been forsaken, and you will find that you are living a life beyond panic.