Broken (25 page)

Chapter 51

Nick

I walked back into the restaurant with Scotty, feeling like I was walking on air. That kiss with Scotty in that alleyway affected me more deeply than all my kisses with Ava put together. Once again, I felt that kiss to my marrow. Every synapse in my body was standing at rapt attention. I looked at my arm, and saw that my hairs were still standing on end.

I am in love with this girl, I thought, as I looked over at her. And she loves me back.

She loves me back.

She loves me back.

She loves me back.

But I was brought back to reality upon seeing Ava, still sitting at the table with George and Paulina. Two other couples had joined George and the others - Mark and his wife, Gwynn; and Bill and his wife, Leona. Ava was looking around the room, no doubt wondering where I went off to.

I cleared my throat as I approached the table. George stood up. “Nick. Where did you go?”

“I, uh, was feeling kinda warm for some reason, so I stepped out. Then I saw a woman being mugged, and I stepped in to help her.”

“Oh, shit,” Ava said. “Well, you’re certainly more chivalrous than most New Yorkers in helping that lady out. What happened? Did the guy get away?”

“Yeah, but she’s safe.” Then I smiled. “As for the comment about my being more chivalrous than most New Yorkers – I’m a transplant from the Midwest, remember? I was brought up to help others in need.”

And I sat down, and Ava immediately put her arm around me. “Your kinda a hero, you know that? A studly hero. I could take you right here, right now, in front of everybody.” And then she kinda growled, and bit my earlobe.

I felt extremely uncomfortable, knowing that Scotty was probably watching us right now. I gently took Ava’s arm from around my neck, and kissed her hand.

And, just then, our main course arrived. I had chosen the New York Strip with the black trumpet mushrooms, with a side of spaetzle and bacon. Ava chose the Dover sole with a side of Brussels Sprouts.

We all chatted amongst ourselves as we ate our food and drank our alcohol. I hoped that nobody noticed how much I was looking around the room, searching for Scotty in the crowd.

I was going to have to call things off with Ava. But I didn’t think that would be as easy as breaking up with Penelope was. Ava was a sweet woman, and she really did nothing wrong. But she wasn’t Scotty. So, I was going to have to find a way to let her down easily.

This night was going to be interminable. I was anxious and impatient to begin my life with Scotty. She was there, across the room, and every time I looked at her, she was glowing and beaming. She no longer looked anxious and awkward. She was like a flower that had wilted, but suddenly got a dose of sunshine and soil. And love.

I couldn’t concentrate on anything that anybody was saying around me. I was just too preoccupied and anxious to be with Scotty. Yet, I had to stay with Ava, at least until the party was over. It wouldn’t be right, at all, to leave her high and dry. Would it be worth it to me? Oh, hell, yeah. Every second I was spending away from Scotty was another second wasted. But would it absolutely shitty to Ava? Oh, hell, yeah. She was a sweet woman, and she didn’t deserve that.

So, I tried to be as present as possible. I tried to minimize my looking around for Scotty, but I did find myself looking for her the entire evening.

Ava noticed me looking around. “Nick, you should go and mingle a bit. I’ll be here. I’m having a great time talking to George and everybody. This is your time to schmooze a bit. I know that you’re new to this firm, and you probably don’t know everybody. So, get on out there.”

God, Ava was making me feel guilty. Did she have to be that understanding and kind? Couldn’t she have been a total bitch like Penelope, in which case, it wouldn’t be hard at all to break up with her?

“No, Ava, it’s ok. I’ll just stay here and talk with you. You’re my date. I can’t just leave you to mingle with everybody.”

“Well, it’s just that I see you looking around a lot. I figure that you really are anxious to get out there and meet some of the other
members of the firm. It’s a large firm, and I’m sure you probably only know about a tenth of the people who work for you guys.”

I inwardly groaned.
Breaking up with Ava was going to be harder than I thought.
Ironically, being in love with Scotty was making me have a conscience that I hadn’t had before. I never thought twice about breaking hearts. Now I was going to have to break Ava’s, and it was killing me.

Scotty had already made me a better man, but, because I was a better man, I was going to have an awful time doing to Ava what I was going to be doing. Ironic.

I sipped on my scotch. I wanted a clear head for later, but I also wanted to relax and not overthink everything.

Nick, it has to be done. You have to do it. It won’t be painless, as breaking hearts usually is for you, but think about the reward. Scotty. She’s the reward.

George was talking to me, and my mind was so preoccupied with Scotty and Ava that I really wasn’t paying much attention. “Isn’t that right, Nick?” he was saying.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. What were you saying?”

“We were just talking about some of the projects that we have coming up in the New Year. You’re going to be leading some major projects next year. It’s going to be exciting.”

“Yeah, I can’t wait. I know that some will be overseas. I, uh, am hoping that I can bring some of my interns along with me when I have to travel.”

“Well, that’s irregular, but, if you want interns with you, then you got it. It has to work around their school schedules, of course.”

I nodded. Then, I suddenly realized that I might have to travel a lot next year, and Scotty still had another year in school before she got her Master’s, so she couldn’t necessarily travel with me. Which meant that I would have to be away from her….I shook my head.
You’ll have to cross that bridge when you come to it.
Anyhow, global projects didn’t necessarily mean that I had to stay on-site the entire time. I mean, I used to stay on-site, for months at a time, but I really didn’t have to. Now, I knew that I would keep my trips at short as possible, at least until Scotty could get out of school. When she graduated, she could just travel with me. But, at least until she got out of school, I knew that I would minimize my time away from New York as much as possible.

I was, perhaps for the first time, thinking about something other than myself. About
somebody
other than myself. It felt odd and wonderful at the same time.

“What are you smiling about?” Ava asked me.

Again, I wasn’t even aware that I was smiling. “Oh, I guess I’m just excited about what next year will bring.”

“Oh, I know,” Ava said. “You’ll have to take some time off next year from work, so that we can go skiing. I have a beautiful chateau in the French Alps.
It’s right by the town of Annecy, and it’s gorgeous out there. I know that you’re an avid skier, as am I, so it’ll be a divine time. I don’t start performing until the fall season of next year, so I’ll have lots of time to travel with you before then.”

“Well, I, uh, my schedule is pretty tight. But, I’ll think about it.”

“We’ll go during your Columbia breaks. You’re a partner at your firm. I’m quite sure that you can manage the time off.”

“We’ll see.” I shifted my weight a bit in the chair, and then looked for Scotty again. I saw her across the room, a huge smile on her face. She was talking to one of our associates from Germany, Kristof, but I didn’t feel in the least bit jealous or threatened. She caught my eye, and her smile got even bigger.

God, they could turn out all the lights in this restaurant, and Scotty would illuminate it.

Just then, I felt Ava’s hand on my crotch. She whispered “oooh, I thought so. You’re so hard. I can’t wait to get you alone. I don’t think I’ve ever felt you this hard before.”

No, Ava, you’ve never seen me this hard before. I’ve never been this hard before.
Scotty had a way of making me stand at attention even more than I usually do with a woman. Just by her smiling at me.

I was that hard just by looking at her smile.

I could just imagine how hard I would be when I finally made love to her.

Then I felt myself growing even more.

I was scaring even myself.

I gently pushed Ava’s hand away. “Not here,” I whispered.

“Oh, who can tell what I’m doing? Besides, everybody here is tipsy. I doubt that they would even care that I’m grabbing your rather enormous, even more enormous than usual, manhood.”

“Well, I care,” I said.

Ava took her hand off my crotch, and I could tell that she felt rebuffed. “You never minded that before.”

“Well, I mind now,” I said. “I think you’ve had a few too many drinks.” And then I looked at everybody at the table, and realized that Ava was right. They all looked pretty smashed.

That’s what happens when there’s an open bar.

The night wore on, and I made multiple attempts to leave. But I somehow found myself on stage singing karaoke with some of the other partners. We were singing – what else?
New York, New York.
Everybody was doing the can-can, but my eyes were trained on Scotty. She was in a line of people, also doing the can-can, and I smiled.

George was really getting into it, as he sang the part about “These little town blues, have all melted away…”

I rang in with the next part, trying hard not to crack up laughing. I was feeling so giddy, so on top of the world, that I wanted to announce to the entire room that Scotty was my girl. It took everything I had not to do so when I got the microphone. But I felt that I was going to burst at any second.

“I’m about to make a brand new start of it, right there in old New York…” I sang.

Then me and the other five guys on stage sang the rest of song as a chorus. Everybody was can-canning and laughing and having a great time.

I felt that I was the happiest that I had ever been. I was on stage, looking at the woman that I was madly in love with. Our eyes locked as the crowd cheered.

Life couldn’t be better.

Chapter 52

The night was finally over, and the limo was there to pick Ava and me up to take us back to my loft. As soon as we got into the limo, though, Ava started to undress me.

“God, I’ve wanted to do this all night,” she said, as she attempted to unbuckle my belt. “You’re such a beautiful man, and you’ve been on fire all night long. I really see how much you want me.”

I pushed her away. “Ava, don’t, please.”

But she wasn’t taking no for an answer. She was obviously drunk out of her mind, as she had never been this sexually aggressive before. “Why not? People have sex in limos all the time. And I’ve wanted you bad this whole night.”

“Ava, please don’t. Please.”

“Why not?” she asked, her fingers unbuttoning my shirt. She rubbed her long nails on my chest. “God, you’re so beautiful. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? Your body is like the statue of David, it’s so perfect. And I love your enormous cock.”

“Ava, don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m in love with somebody else,” I blurted out.

She immediately stopped. Then she just looked at me, a stunned expression on her beautiful face. She blinked a few times. “Wh-wh-what? I-I-I d-d-don’t understand.”

I shook my head, wishing that I was as drunk as she was. “I’m so sorry. I met her a few months ago. We’ve had problems getting it together, but tonight, uh, something happened. And I now know that I’m going to be with her.” I hung my head. “I didn’t mean for it to come out quite like that, though, and for that, I apologize.”

She just looked at me. “It’s that girl in the red dress, isn’t it?”

I nodded my head.
She’s not as obtuse as I thought.
I sighed. “I know that it sounds like such a cliché, but it’s really not you, it’s me. If I didn’t meet her, I have no doubt that you and I could have been happy together. But it’s not fair to you, being with you while being crazy in love with somebody else. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t understand. Why wasn’t she your date tonight? I…please help me to understand.”

I took a deep breath. “She’s had some issues that made it difficult for her to trust me. Then, I don’t know, something happened, and now I think that she’s finally going to give me a chance. Really, I didn’t mean for this to happen. Honestly.”

She said nothing,
but just nodded her head. Then she rapped on the window to talk to Charlie. Charlie opened up the window. “Yes, Ms. Patterson?” he said.

“Uh, Charlie, there’s been a change in plans. I’m not going to Nick’s loft after all, it looks like. I hope that you can go ahead and take me home right now.”

“Certainly,” Charlie said, and he made a U-Turn at the stoplight.

Ava moved over to the window and looked out it in silence. I didn’t know what to say to her. I found myself wishing that she was like all my psycho women who would be tearing me a new asshole right about now. That would make things so much easier.

We finally arrived at Ava’s loft. She turned to me. “I, uh, have my personal things at your loft, of course. I’ll be sending somebody along tomorrow to pick them up.” She was referring to the clothes, shoes, makeup, jewelry and hair dryer that she was keeping at my place. “Goodbye Nick,” she said.

Then she got out of the limo and hurried into her building.

I felt relieved and sad all at the same time.

I then rapped on the window to talk to Charlie again. “Uh, Charlie,” I said.

“Yes, Nick?”

“Take me Uptown,” I said, giving him Scotty’s address. I was taking a chance, again, that she wouldn’t be home, but I had to do it.

I didn’t want to spend another second without feeling her in my arms.