Broken (24 page)

Chapter 49

Nick

I was
getting dressed in my suit and tie, as I prepared to go to the Christmas Party with Ava. The attire was semi-formal, so she was wearing a black cocktail dress that showed off her fit figure, and her hair was swooped up on her head. She was wearing a shit-ton of makeup, too much for my taste, and, to me, it just masked her natural beauty. But that apparently was how she liked it, so I was not going to say a word. Saying things that women take as criticism had always ended poorly for me in the past, and I was not in the mood for a fight.

I wasn’t
really enthusiastic about going to the party. I wasn’t in the mood for small-talk, and seeing Scotty in a social situation could prove to be difficult, to say the least. I could possibly see her with a date, which would rip my heart out, or even watching her flirting with other guys would make me see red. Not that Scotty flirted. I didn’t know if she even knew how to flirt.

I have heard that any kind of romantic entanglement with Scotty and Shane had gone to the wayside, but it still stung that she was willing to give him a chance, but not me. It was humiliating, loving a woman who didn’t want me, and I never thought that I would be put into such a situation. I suppose
d I deserved a comeuppance, though, after the way that I had led my life, and the way that I had always treated women. To me, women were always fungible and randos. Now, here was Scotty, posing as some kind of karmic payback for the way that I had lived my life.

I decided to have some scotch before getting into the limo with Ava. Ava was eye-candy, and would certainly draw attention at the party tonight. This was something that I usually welcomed, as I always had a hot woman on my arm. But, for some reason, having eye-candy on my arm didn’t appeal to me as much as it usually did.

I really just wanted Scotty. Beautiful-without-trying, down-to-earth, sweet, natural Scotty.

“I can’t wait,” Ava was saying. “I’m going to meet your people tonight. This is kinda a big step for us, really.”

Ava had been saying things like that a lot. Hinting around that she felt that she and I were serious because we were spending so much time together, and now I was taking her to the office Christmas party. I wasn’t feeling the same way, of course. It occurred to me that I was hanging out with Ava because I was trying to force myself to be a good boy and try to commit to somebody, and Ava was perfect on paper. I felt very little for her, though.

But maybe I can try to go through the motions with her and hope that some kind of real affection occurred with time.

Stranger things had happened.

So, we got into our limo and made our way to the restaurant. I wanted to arrive at least a little bit early so that getting a good table wouldn’t be a problem.

We got to the restaurant and took a seat. I got up and got us a couple of drinks, tipping the bartender $100. The bartender looked more than appreciative of this, and I knew that we would be getting good service that night.

George was already there with his wife, and he motioned Ava and me over to the table. We walked over, and George greeted us. “Hey, Nick. You going to introduce me to your date?”

“Ava, this is George. George, Ava,” I said, taking a sip of my scotch. “Ava is a concert flautist.”

Ava held out her hand, and George kissed it. Then he looked at me approvingly and nodded his head. Ava just smiled at George’s little non-verbal cues.
I’m quite sure that she’s used to the attention.

The two of us sat down, me sipping my scotch, and Ava sipping her glass of wine that I brought her. We sat and talked and ate our hors d’oeuvres, which consisted of various kinds of cheese, fruits and crackers. I was famished, really, so I dug into these tasty treats like they were New York Strip. Which also was on the menu for the night, incidentally.

I looked around the room. People were pouring into the restaurant. I held my breath, waiting for Scotty to arrive.
Would she have a date?
I prayed that she wouldn’t. That would completely ruin my evening, to tell the truth.

At some point, I saw her….and I couldn’t hide my excitement. It was apparent, I knew that. But she was so amazingly…beautiful, sexy, and exciting. I couldn’t hide it. She was dressed in a strapless red dress with the bottom composed in rose-shaped tulle and a diamond choker and bracelet. Matching earrings. She also got a haircut that framed her beautiful face and eyes. I momentarily lost my breath.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only man in the room who couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Every man in the restaurant, it seemed, collectively lost their breath when she walked into the room. I heard
many men whispering “who is that? who is that beautiful woman? she doesn’t work for us, does she? no, we don’t have a woman who is that gorgeous, do we? Do we? Do we????”

I looked at her, I knew that we did have a woman that gorgeous. I knew when I first saw her. Yes, she was even more beautiful than usual, but, I knew my Scotty when I saw her. She had a new haircut, new shoes, new jewelry, a new dress, but she was still…my Scotty. My beautiful Scotty.

At some point, Ava noticed my staring. How could she not? I was blatantly looking at Scotty, as if she was the only person in the room. Because, to me, she was just that. The only person in the room. I literally could not quit staring at her, no matter how hard I tried. I mean, I tried to look at George and his wife, and at Ava, and what they were saying, but I inevitably found myself staring at her….Scotty.

For her part, she wasn’t looking at me, at all. She came in the room holding hands with Robin, the other intern, and I, at first, thought that Robin might have been her dreaded “date.” But, I soon found that, with Robin flirting with every boy in the place, this was not true. Scotty, unlike myself, appeared not to be bisexual. When Robin made her rounds, Scotty stood to the side, looking awkward for a few minutes, then some guy would make his way over, and she would look even more awkwardly towards him, trying to put on an interested-girl act for him. But I knew better.

I found myself drifting towards her, almost inevitably. I didn’t consciously decide to drift towards her, but I found myself being almost pulled towards her, almost like she was like a magnetic field that was pulling me in. I talked to Ralph, then to Thomas and then to Bob, all of them being closer and closer to her. She was just standing there, in the corner, awkwardly looking at the crowd, while one man after another came up to talk to her. She was polite, I could see that. But that’s all she was. She didn’t flirt with anybody, in spite of how she looked.

She saw me approaching, and she looked away. But I saw her cheeks flush, and I got more excited. Her actions towards me, in blowing me off, receded in the background, as I stared at her luscious lips, longing to feel my own on them.

Then, just when I was within a few feet of her, Shane intervened. Shane, who apparently dated her, when Scotty had the excuse that she couldn’t date me, because she didn’t want to date anybody. Yet, she went out with him. Him. Now, he was at her side, putting his arm around her.

I saw that, and saw that Scotty didn’t push him away, and I immediately felt disgusted with myself. Again, pining away for a woman that didn’t want me. Who wanted somebody
else. I turned my back and headed back to my table.

I got back there, and Ava was talking with George and his wife. She turned to me when I approached the table. “Where did you go off to?” she asked.

“Uh, to the bathroom. I really had to go all of a sudden. Sorry about that.”

“Not a problem. George and Paulina and I were just talking about some of the projects your firm has in the pipeline. Pretty interesting stuff.”

I nodded my head, my eyes still completely trained on Scotty. I literally couldn’t take my eyes off of her, while I watched her talking to one man after another.

I thought I saw her looking at me, but then realized I was imagining it.

Chapter 50

Scotty

I took a deep breath as Robin and I approached the restaurant. I didn’t feel comfortable, showing so much skin, but I drank a few margaritas at her apartment. This calmed me down considerably.

As we entered the restaurant, Robin grabbed my hand playfully. “Come on, Scotty, let’s get people talking,” she said with a grin. She was pretty tipsy by then, even more than me.

I scanned the crowd for Nick,
and then my heart sank into my shoes as I saw him at George’s table with his arm around a beautiful brunette. I tried to blink back my tears and put on a happy face, but it was difficult. So, I decided that I wouldn’t look in his direction. I didn’t want to start crying in front of all of these people.

To my dismay, Robin left my side, to go and flirt, the second we hit the restaurant.
So much for her and I sticking together tonight.
I didn’t know why I thought that she would stick with me, but that’s what I was hoping for. Now I was all alone and feeling awkward.

Even more to my dismay, I found various men coming up and talking to me. Some were interns, others were associates. Even a few partners made their way up to talk to me. I tried to keep a smile on my face, but I was feeling so awkward and alone at that moment, I couldn’t stand it. And I had to make a very purposeful decision not to look in Nick’s direction, lest I burst into tears.

A date. He has a date. I sighed.
Of course he has a date. As if somebody who looks like that wouldn’t.

To make matters worse, Portia was in the house, of course. I saw her staring at Nick, then looking over at me suspiciously. She leaned in to whisper to her date for the evening, who was a guy that I recognized, because he played for the Giants. He was kind of a superstar. Then she looked at me again, and over to Nick. She shook her head, then turned her back and started sipping her drink again.

At some point, Shane came up and talked to me. He put his arm around me and whispered into my ear. “You look beautiful, Scotty. Stunning. Every guy in this room is noticing you.”

I tried to be polite, so I didn’t try to remove his arm from around my shoulder. I had no desire to make a scene. “Thank you, Shane,” I said.

I could smell the distinct odor of whiskey on his breath. He rattled around the ice in his drink, and took a sip and started crunching on some of the ice. “I never apologized for my boorish behavior that night. I’m sorry, Scotty. I don’t know what got into me.”

“Bygones,” I said.

“Well, thanks for that.”

I was extremely uncomfortable with Shane’s arm around my shoulder. I knew that there was a rumor going around that he and I were going out. At least there was. So, I needed to shut that down
tout de suite.
I couldn’t have Nick hearing about that.

Just then, it hit me. How obtuse was I? Nick had heard about it! Of course! That was why he was treating me so poorly.

If Nick didn’t have a date there that night, I would’ve gone right over to his table and ask to speak with him in private. Tell him that I went out with Shane because I wanted to go to the film festival, not because I wanted to be with Shane. Perhaps that would make him treat me better, knowing that I didn’t prefer Shane over him at all. Maybe I could tell him that my feelings for him had not dimmed, despite his cruel treatment over these past few weeks. If anything, my feelings for him had only gotten stronger, if that was even possible.

But, as Jack would say, if ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we’d all have a Merry Fucking Christmas. Nick did have a date there that night, and that was that.

Just then, I looked over at Nick, and his beautiful date had her arm around his neck and was whispering in his ear. He smiled and whispered something back.

He doesn’t even know that I’m alive anymore.

I was so engrossed with staring at Nick and his date that I didn’t even notice that Shane still had his arm around me and was talking to me in a low voice.

“So, what do you say you and I cut out of his place? Go back to my apartment? I mean, I live in SoHo, so we’d have to take a cab there. But I’ll spring for the cab.”

I just looked at him. What he was saying was barely registering with me, as I was so upset about Nick. I simply nodded my head. “Uh, I’ll be right back. I need to get some air.”

To my dismay, Shane followed me out the door.

I got on the sidewalk and started walking. Shane was right there next to me. I started to walk a bit faster, and Shane kept up.
Doesn’t this guy get the hint?

Unfortunately, he got
a
hint. It was the wrong one, or he was interpreting it wrong. “Wait up, Scotty, you’re walking too fast.”

“Uh, on second thought, let’s go back to the restaurant,” I said. Then I started walking, just as fast, back towards the restaurant.

When I was almost to the restaurant, Shane suddenly grabbed my arm. “Where are you going? I thought we were going to try to hail a cab back to my place.”

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

“Gee, I wonder. I guess it’s because you started to leave the party right when I said that I wanted us to get out of there together.”

“I said that I wanted some fresh air. Not that I wanted to leave with you.” I looked down, and his hand was still clutching my arm. “Please let me go.”

“I don’t think so,” he said, and then he pulled me into the alleyway.

Oh, crap.
The face of Mr. Lucas instantly sprang into my mind, as Shane was putting his hands all over me and trying to kiss me. I made a face, and turned my head, but Shane straightened my head with his hands, and harshly put his lips on mine.

“God, you’re so fucking hot. You’re so fuckable in that dress, I just can’t stand it.”

He ran his hands on my butt, and then one of his hands was on my leg and was making its way to my panties. I wasn’t wearing hose with my dress, unfortunately, so I soon felt one of his fingers jamming inside of me, and then his hand was on my naked butt. The entire time, he was kissing me, or trying to.

I felt myself breathing faster and faster, and tears were coming down my cheeks.

And then, in a quick motion, he took his hand off of my genitals, and he was trying to pull my top down. I desperately tried to throw him off of me, but he almost succeeded in getting his hands onto my naked breasts.

“I want to see them,” he said. “God, you have magnificent titties.”

He was overpowering me. He was a big guy, at six feet and around 200 lbs, and I was 115 lbs soaking wet, and was a good eight inches shorter than him.

I felt tears coming to my eyes. I was helpless to stop him, but I was desperate to do so anyhow.

“Stop, stop, stop!” I was screaming, tears coming down my face. “Please, Shane, please leave me-“

Then, at that, Nick was suddenly there on the sidewalk. He rushed into the alleyway, and immediately pulled Shane off of me. He threw Shane savagely onto the ground, and started punching him and kicking him. “Leave her alone! She doesn’t want to be with you! Can’t you see that?”

Shane lay there, crumpled for a few minutes, and then got back up off the ground. He was swaying from being drunk and from being savagely pummeled by Nick. “You,” he said. “What’s your problem? I mean, you tendered your resignation because they were going to fire Scotty, and now, here you are, coming to her rescue like she’s some kind of damsel in distress. Scotty’s a big girl and she doesn’t need you to keep coming to her defense all the time.”

Nick said nothing, but just stood there with his fists clenched. He still had a threatening look on his face. “Get out of here. NOW!”

Shane just looked at me, then back at Nick, and shook his head. “Alright, man. I’m going, I’m going.” Then he looked at Nick one more time. “Hey, don’t tell the partners about this, alright?”

“Like hell I won’t tell the partners about this. We don’t need a predator in our office. Now get gone.”

For a moment, it looked like Shane was going to punch Nick. I figured that Nick could take Shane, as Nick was in excellent shape and was an inch or two taller than Shane’s six feet. But I didn’t know. And I didn’t want to find out.

But Shane apparently thought better, and he turned around and walked away. I saw him get to end of the street and hail a cab.

Nick turned to me. “Are you ok?” he asked. Then he saw that I was shivering a little bit, and he took off his jacket and put it on me. I wrapped his jacket tightly around me, covering up my cleavage.

I shook my head. “I was asking for that.”

Nick wrapped his arms around me tightly, and I put my head into his chest. He was stroking my hair gently as I cried into his shirt. My hands were still clutching his coat, but after a few seconds, I wrapped my arms around him as well. “Scotty, why do you think you were asking for that? Why, honey?”

“I shouldn’t show so much skin. It’s just like Mr. Lucas. I shouldn’t have shown skin around him, either. I deserved what I got. And I deserved to have Shane attack me, too.”

At that, Nick put my head in his hands. “Scotty, listen to me. And listen to me good. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. Nobody asks for that. I don’t care if you came to the party naked, you are not asking to be raped or attacked. And your foster father was just a sick, sick man. You didn’t deserve what you got. Ok?”

I nodded my head, and then Nick wrapped his arms around me again. He gently stroked my hair some more. I felt so safe there in his arms, safer than I had ever felt in my life. He was so strong and so gentle at the same time. I didn’t want to ever leave that alleyway.

At some point, I looked into his eyes. His arms were still wrapped around me. “Uh, Nick. You, uh, threatened to resign because of my getting fired?”

“I didn’t threaten. I tendered my resignation. That made everybody back down. I’m surprised you haven’t heard that story yet. Especially since Robin is your friend.”

“No. No, I, I, haven’t heard that story.” I looked at him. Nobody had ever done something like that for me. “What would you have done if the partners didn’t back down, and I was fired?”

“I would’ve walked,” he said without hesitation.

I just stared at him. There were so many things going through my mind, almost instantly. These thoughts overlapped one another, but they didn’t seem jumbled. On the contrary, my mind seemed preternaturally clear. One of the thoughts was that Shane was attacking me, and I thought that he was going to rape me, and Nick stepped in to protect me. He protected me, unlike all those people in my life who refused to protect me when Mr. Lucas was doing what he was doing to me. That was huge for me, that he would do that. I suddenly saw him as somebody who would be there for me, who would shield me from harm. Who would fight for me. Another thought was that Nick did fight for me against the partners. He resigned over my possible firing, and he made it clear that, if they didn’t back down, he would have walked away from his prestigious partnership. I believed him about this, too. He looked determined, and he was determined. I owed my job to him, and I owed not being raped by Shane to him as well.

Was he the one who would finally provide me the sec
urity and protection that I had been craving my entire life? The stability and comfort? I looked into his blue eyes, and I knew that he would. And, perhaps for the first time since I had met him, I felt….calm. Serene. Like, perhaps, just perhaps, I had found not only the man that I had been looking for, but the person, in general, who I had been searching for, all of my life. The person who would have my back, when nobody else would.

It was if I was seeing him for the first time.

Seeing him clearly, anyhow.

I felt that I could finally trust him and tear down my walls.

Then, somehow, I got up on my tiptoes and kissed him. He seemed startled at first, but he soon was kissing me back. His kiss was gentle yet firm, and his tongue tentatively and slowly was exploring inside my mouth. He put my face in his hands, as his kiss became more insistent and passionate. He leaned into me, and I could feel his enormous hard-on through his pants. I felt my breathing coming harder and faster, as his heart was pounding in timing and rhythm with mine. I felt tingly and warm, and, surprisingly enough, not scared.

But Nick pulled away from me. “Uh, Scotty, I. I can’t be rude to Ava. I mean, I have to get back into the party.” Then he hung his head. “I love you Scotty. I’m in love with you.”

I nodded my head. “I understand. I mean about Ava. I understand.” And I did understand. I truly did. I knew that Nick and I would be together.

I paused. “I’m in love with you, too.”

Then both of us headed back into the restaurant.