Bright Purple: Color Me Confused with Bonus Content (21 page)

“L
ET
’
S SWING BY
L
E
C
HATEAU
,” I
SAY TO
BJ
ON OUR WAY TO THE HOSPITAL
. “It’s the next street. Turn right.”

“You hungry?”

“No. But maybe we should take something to the others. Remember how that cookie platter cheered everyone up in the locker room?”

“Great idea!”

“Must’ve been a God thing,” I tell her as we go inside the sweet-smelling bakery and pick out what seems to be an array of tempting holiday treats. And it’s amazing how carrying this pink box of confections gives me a little more confidence when we go into the hospital this time.

“There might not be anyone here,” BJ says as she pushes the elevator button. “Then we can share some with Joey and take the rest home.”

But when we get to the waiting area on Joey’s floor, about a dozen or so of the same crowd are still hanging out. It almost feels as if they’re here to guard him, as if they think he’ll be in danger if they leave. Well, at least they’re loyal.

“Merry Christmas,” I say as we walk toward them. They watch us with narrowed eyes and tight lips.

“We brought treats,” announces BJ.

“Yeah,” I say, “No hard feelings about yesterday, okay?” I set the box on the coffee table and open it up. “They’re from Le Chateau,” I tell them.

“Probably poisoned,” says Casey from where she’s standing at a distance, arms folded across her chest as she leans against a post next to the couch.

“Nope,” I tell her as I remove a cookie and take a bite.

“Why are you doing this?” Jess asks me as she eyes the box of cookies with suspicion.

“We want to be friends,” I tell her. “We want to understand where you guys are coming from.”

“Are you guys for real?” asks the heavy guy with the knit cap.

I smile at him. “Yep.”

So he reaches for a cookie and takes a bite. “These are good,” he says to his friends, and soon most of them are eating. Amazingly, almost like the scene in the locker room, the atmosphere in here begins to lighten up. Okay, we still take some jabs, and Casey and another girl refuse to come within ten feet of us. But BJ tells everyone about the forum and how we hope that Joey will be well enough to talk.

“We think people need to hear his story,” I tell them. “They need to hear how he felt, how it feels to be treated like he was. And how it could drive a person to a place where he’d want to take his own life.”

“Why?” snipes Casey from her position by the post. “So you guys can figure out a better way to attack Joey, a way that will make him succeed at killing himself next time?”

BJ and I just look at her.

“They didn’t attack Joey,” says Jess in a slightly exasperated tone.

“Maybe not physically,” says Casey. “But you told me yourself that Ramie teased Joey a lot.”

Jess rolls her eyes. “Yeah, Ramie is like that. She’s been teasing Joey since middle school, back when he used to give her a bad time for not getting algebra. She teased him for being a brainiac. It’s not about being gay, Casey.”

Casey just glares at Jess, then she nudges the butch-looking girl beside her, and they both just walk off. A couple of the other girls follow. And now it’s just Jess and us and the guys left.

“That’s the problem with some of the gay chicks,” says a guy on the couch. He’s wearing a yellow shiny shirt and has his legs crossed in a slightly effeminate way. “They can be so aggressive.”

The other guys laugh. But I glance at Jess and she’s not laughing.

“Yeah, give me a straight girl to hang with any day,” says another guy. “I mean a straight girl who gets me and who likes to shop for shoes.” More laughter.

Now Jess walks off. I glance at BJ, then follow her.

“Jess?” I call.

She turns around and she looks close to tears. “What?”

“Is this our fault?”

She shrugs.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her as the two of us stand in a quiet corner of the hallway. “Maybe we should just go.”

“Maybe.”

“We just wanted to see if we could patch things up. I mean after yesterday. We don’t want this to be like a war. It’s like we’re trying to build a bridge, you know. We’re trying to love you guys the way Jesus would. But maybe we’re not helping.”

“I don’t know.”

“We wanted to invite Joey to be in the forum.”

She nods to the door across from us. “That’s his room. And it looks like no one’s in there now. Go ahead and ask him.”

“Do you want to come in?”

She shakes her head. “No. I’ve already talked to him today.”

“You sure it’s okay if I just go in?”

“Yeah. They’re pretty relaxed about him today. He’s not on suicide watch or anything now.” She gives me a little shove. “Go ahead, Ramie.”

So I slowly walk into his room. But I’m thinking this is not how I planned to do this. BJ was supposed to come with me. But then I’m standing there, at the foot of his bed, and he’s looking at me with a curious expression.

“What’re you doing here, Ramie?”

“I came to see if I could bribe you to do my geometry homework, Joey. Whadya think?”

He actually laughs. “I think you could use a brain transplant, but since I survived and would have donated my brain to science anyway, you’d be out of luck.”

“Well, you know what they say about brains, don’t ya?”

“No, what?”

“Well, this guy needed a brain transplant and had two models to choose from. One belonged to a basketball player who never finished high school, and it was selling for a million bucks. But the other one had belonged to a math genius and was on sale for only $1.99.” I pause so he can take this in. “So the guy who needed the brain transplant asked why the big price difference. And the salesman told him that the basketball player’s brain was as good as new. It had hardly been used.”

Joey laughs and asks if I want to sit down. So I do.

“You know, Joey, I’m sorry if I teased you and—”

“No way, Ramie, don’t ever be sorry for that,” he says quickly. “I love it when you tease me. Sometimes that’s the only fun kind of attention I get.”

“Really? you don’t mind?”

“Not at all. I mean how many times have I called you a sports geek or a girl jock or whatever? you don’t really get mad at me, do you?”

“Of course not. And that’s kinda what I thought too, but then everyone else was acting like I was this terrible unfeeling person. Like it was my fault.”

“No way, Ramie. Don’t worry. It’s not because of you.”

“Look, Joey, I won’t pretend that I understand the whole gay thing. I mean I seriously do not. But Jess used to be my best friend. And I care about her. And I care about you too. And I’m trying to find a way to wrap my head around this thing. you know that I’m a Christian, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And it’s like I feel torn. I mean on one hand, we’re supposed to take a stand against sin. But on the other hand, we’re supposed to love everyone. And it can be confusing.”

Joey doesn’t say anything.

“But more and more, I’m thinking about what Jesus did. And mostly I think that he loved people. He spent time with people. He hung with them wherever they were at. And that’s what I’m trying to do. BJ is too. But it’s still tricky, you know?”

“I know.”

“Okay, I realize I’m just talking about myself now, Joey. And I know you’re hurting. Is there anything I can do to help?”

He kind of smiles. “Just keep being yourself, Ramie.”

“Well, there’s room for improvement.” Then I tell him about the
forum our church is having after Christmas. “We’d really like you to be a part of it.”

“I don’t know.”

“I can understand how it might be hard,” I tell him. “But the purpose is to inform people about the problems. People need to understand how the teasing hurts. We need to find ways to bridge this gap. Especially between Christians and homosexuals. Do you see what I mean?”

“I guess so.”

“Well, there’s no hurry. Just think about it, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” Then he looks toward the door and I can hear someone coming in.

“Hey, it’s one of the straight chicks,” says a guy’s voice behind me.

I turn around and smile at the guy in the shiny shirt. “My name is Ramie,” I tell him.

“And I’m Jeremy and this is Aaron.” And we all shake hands.

“Ramie and that other straight chick brought cookies,” says Jeremy as he hands Joey a couple that are wrapped in a napkin. “Thought we’d sneak some in for you.”

“Thanks.” Joey smiles. “Beats this hospital food.”

“Well, I better go,” I say. “I heard there’s a limit on visitors.”

“Thanks for coming,” says Joey. And I think he really means it.

“Merry Christmas,” I call out as I head for the door.

“She’s pretty,” says Jeremy when he thinks I’m out of earshot.

“Did you see her shoes?” says Aaron.

I laugh as I go down the hall. I think it might be easier for me to get along with gay guys than lesbians.

“How’d it go?” asks Jess from behind me.

I jump to hear her voice, then stop and turn around. “You scared me.”

“Sorry. How’s Joey?”

“He’s cool.”

She nods. “Yeah. He is.”

“And you were right.”

“About?”

“The teasing thing. Joey agreed that it was totally mutual. And he made me promise not to quit. So I won’t.”

“Yeah. Sorry about the way that went yesterday. It was so blown out of proportion. And I know that I was part of the problem.”

“It was kind of shocking.”

“Well, I’m sure you know by now that it was all planned.”

“We had our suspicions.”

“We met and kind of got a strategy. It was Casey’s idea.”

“Oh.”

Now we’re coming back to the waiting area, and Casey and the other girls have returned and are sitting around talking and stuff. But BJ isn’t around.

“Where’s BJ?” I ask.

Casey shrugs. “Why should we care?”

“She just asked you a simple question,” says Jess. “You could at least give her a civilized answer.”

“Are you saying I’m uncivilized?” demands Casey, standing up and looking Jess right in the face.

“Hey, if the shoe fits.”

Casey takes a step toward Jess, and I honestly think I can see fire in that girl’s eyes.

“Never mind,” I say quickly, grabbing Jess by the arm. “We’ll find her.” I tug Jess along with me.

“You’re getting awful cozy with the straight chicks,” calls Casey. “You converting them or are they converting you?”

“Shut up!” Jess calls back at her.

Their laughter floats behind us as we make our way to the elevators. Then, as we’re waiting there, a girl comes around from the other side. She’s one of their group, but one of the quiet ones. I don’t know her name.

“BJ said she would be in the coffee shop,” she whispers to me as the doors to the elevator open.

We thank her, then get in and go down.

“Who’s that?” I ask.

“Morgan.”

“She seems nice.”

Jess shrugs.

“I mean for a friend,” I say quickly, wondering if I’ve been misunderstood. “I didn’t mean you should ask her out.”

Jess laughs now. “Don’t worry. She’s not my type.”

“What is your type?” I ask as the doors open.

“I’m not sure yet.”

“Oh.” Now for some reason that makes me feel relieved. And I guess I’m hoping that Jess is not involved with anyone yet. I’m hoping that she’ll get some help first. But I have no idea how to say something like this, or if I even should. We find BJ at the coffee shop, and we all sit down together and talk.

“I’m so confused,” Jess admits. “I mean life almost seemed to be making some sense after I talked to you guys on the bus, after I told you, well, you know . . . But then this whole thing with Joey happened and it felt like being blindsided. And everyone was so angry and I just kind of got swept along.”

“I can understand that,” says BJ.

“You need counseling,” I remind her.

“Nathan really wants to talk to you,” says BJ. “And we can still go with you too, if that helps.”

“Maybe.”

“Jess,” I begin. “You can get mad at me about this if you want to, but I talked to my mom about what happened to you.”

She just shrugs. “I figured you would.”

“But you know my mom,” I say quickly. “And if anyone is cool about homosexuality, she totally is. And, of course, she immediately offered to talk to you or your family if it would help, but she said you definitely do need counseling. She said not to put it off either. She was very clear about it. She said what happened to you at soccer camp was totally wrong and that it’s had a huge impact on your life. you can’t ignore it, Jess.”

“I know.”

“And we’re here for you,” says BJ. “We’re still your friends, Jess. you know that, don’t you?”

“I guess.”

BJ looks at her watch now. “Well, I should go. I promised my mom that I’d help her to get things ready for all the family that will be storming our house for Christmas Eve tomorrow night.”

Then we actually hug Jess. And, okay, it feels a little weird. But I tell myself to get over it, and Jess really seems to appreciate it.

“Ramie?” she says just as we’re leaving. “I know you probably won’t want to now . . . I mean since things have changed . . . but you used to always come to our house on Christmas Eve, you know, while your mom goes to one of her crazy New Age winter parties . . . and I—”

“I’d love to come!” I say. “Really, I would. It would be so much better than one of those parties.”

She smiles. “Cool.”

“Yeah.” I nod. “Totally.”

And seriously, despite the tension that I know will be in the air at Jess’s house, I really do love her family. I really would like to be with them.