Breathe Again (17 page)

Hey baby momma, I’ll bring you avocado and chicken sandwich home for lunch. How’s my little one doing? Causing mommy grief?

“I never thought I’d admit this, and don’t go around telling people, but I am definitely Team Tate. You have a good man there.” He stood from the couch while I was left sitting there completely flabbergasted. “Shut your mouth, woman. You’ll catch flies.”

I put my hands behind me and slowly levered myself off the couch while Mr. Davenport stood above and looked at me amusingly. Bastard. I’d known there was a reason I didn’t sit on the couch anymore. My amazing couch which I couldn’t enjoy anymore because I would sink so far into it that I would have to be pulled out of it. Tate had found this hilarious time and time again. I’d called him an arsehole and refused to sit with him, sitting instead on the floor.

“You make sure you have Tate call me as soon as there is any news. I want to be pacing that hospital corridor like the excited grandfather I am.”

Just hearing him say those words turned on the waterworks and tears spilled down my cheeks. My emotions were a mess. I didn’t say a word. I just leaned into Mr. Davenport’s chest and sobbed as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. Just us. His arms had provided me with so much comfort over the years, and now that I was about to turn over to the next chapter in the book of Savannah, there was nowhere I would rather be.

“I love you.” I sobbed.

“I love you too. You are my girl, Savannah.”

D
URING MY
tenth waddle around the apartment, which seemed like the only plausible means of settling the dull ache that had come on after Mr. Davenport had left, I felt a sudden and brutally intense pressure ricocheting through my body. I grasped on to the kitchen bench, my eyes slamming shut and my breath hitching as I leaned over, desperate to find relief. Then out of nowhere there was an instant release and
whoosh
. My legs spread instantaneously, and soon enough, my thighs were coated in a warm liquid as my body contracted in the middle of the kitchen.

I stared at the puddle beneath my feet with wide eyes, and a sense of panic ran through my body, which was followed by fear, excitement, and exhilaration. It was eight p.m. and I was at home alone, as Tate worked the close shift at Red Velvet. I’d known my child would be a night owl, and Jellybean had just proved my point. I stood in the kitchen looking at the mess on the floor as realization hit. I was officially on my way to becoming a mum.
A mum.
My first instinct was the clean the mess, so I grabbed the mop and cleaned up as my mind ran crazily out of control.
A mum.

Jellybean was ready to meet us. After nine months of falling in love with this little person, I could now be only hours from holding him or her in my arms. Savannah Rae, a mother, having the responsibility of this little person.

My confusion increased as I stood in the kitchen and looked down at my stomach. Wasn’t I meant to be feeling different? Like, wasn’t I meant to be huddled over, grasping on to the bench as pain ripped through me?

I stumbled through the apartment in an oblivious state and searched for my phone, anxious to call the hospital to find out what the hell was happening. All those visits and information I had desperately crammed into my head from the pre-birth class had vanished from my mind.

After speaking with a midwife and finding out that everything seemed to be okay, I felt a little more relaxed, but still, I needed Tate here. A sense of calm would sweep through my body but then,
boom,
panic would set it.

His panicked voice boomed down the phone when he picked up. “Sav what’s wrong?”

“My waters broke.” I sighed into the phone. “We are going to become parents.”

“What! Okay. I am leaving now. I will be there in ten minutes.” His astonished voice filled my ears and instantly I felt comforted. “I’ll be home soon.”

Holding my phone close to my chest, I smiled at Tate’s words. He loved me, we had a home, and now we were going to be having a baby. I was about to give birth. Both Jack and Lucas loved teasing me, reminding me daily that giving birth would be like trying to fit a watermelon through a pinhole. Seriously, I had freaking arseholes as family.

I walked through the apartment towards the bedroom, where I lay down as my mind went crazy. It all came down to this. Tate and I were prepared. We had everything organized and waiting for our little one to arrive. My heart was ready to meet my next great love.

I gasped as the door suddenly flew open and Tate’s panicked face looked over me. He took a seat beside me, frantically grabbing my hands and lifting them to his lips, kissing each knuckle.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded. “Did you break every traffic law getting here?”

“There is no time to think of traffic laws, Sav. I have to get you to the hospital. Have you called the hospital? What did they say? What do I need to do?” His panicked voice rang through the room.

“You need to lie down on this bed with me and let me look at you. I am all right. The midwife told me to come in when the contractions start. I am only having little ones at the moment.”

“We are about to have a baby, Sav,” he sang. He climbed on the bed beside me, rolling to his side and watching me. A look of panic yet calm filtered over his perfect face.

I lifted my feet up and rested them over his to ease the stab of pain that had shot through me. “We should probably call your mum and Mr. D. I know Tanzi, Jack, and Lucas will want to know,” I rambled, squeezing my eyes shut as the pain rushed through me and then eased.

“Let it just be us three right now. I just need you and Jellybean.”

We stared at each other in complete silence, the only sound coming from our excited breathing. With our eyes, we read each other and spoke our feelings without words. My love for the man lying beside me was immeasurable by words, and for some crazy reason he loved me just as much.

Never in a hundred years had I ever thought I would be here with the man who had saved me from myself and about to have his child. The universe had thrown me curveballs, but it all lead to this very moment, a moment where the heartache of losing my parents was slowly being repaired by this man. No, I didn’t have my parents here with me, but I knew they were in my heart. They were protected away from the world and they were mine. I was one of the lucky ones. After years of feeling sorry for myself, I had come to realize just how lucky I was. I had had the opportunity to live with two families—my parents and now my current family. My heartache was nothing compared to others and I had to remember that. I had to live for my present and future, not for my past.

“Thank you,” I whispered. My hands rose to his face, cupping his cheeks, and my thumb grazed his bottom lip. His eyes softened but didn’t leave mine. The blueness I wished our baby would inherit glistened in front of me.

“What are you thanking me for?” he whispered back.

“For everything. You gave me a reason to love again, Tate Connors. I love you more than I could ever express to you and there is no one else in this world for me. Forever you will be my heart. Will you mar— Holy shit!” I groaned, my hands dropping from his face to clutch my stomach as a pain I had never experienced ripped through me. Tears came to my eyes and my teeth clamped shut.

Tate shot off the bed, clasping my hand and pulling me up. I fell against his chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

“I am taking you to the hospital.” He ran to the room that was going to be Jellybean’s room and fetched my hospital bag before running back into the bedroom. I had never seen him this frantic.

Grabbing his hand, I pulled him to a stop. “We are about to meet our baby, Tate.”

Tate

“T
ATE,
I am so tired,” Sav whispered as she tucked her head deep into my shoulder. I felt the wetness of her fresh tears dance over my skin as her emotions and exhaustion took their tolls. We had gotten to the hospital in record time. I was sure that I had broken numerous laws getting her here, but all I could focus on was her and our baby. Jellybean.

Pushing a strand of her sweaty, matted hair from her cheek, I kissed her forehead softly. Her eyes were tired, her face showing signs of fatigue and her body about ready to give in. This had been hell. Ten hours of hell. I hated that I couldn’t do a damn thing to take away her pain. Watching her squirm, cry, moan, and scream had caused my heart to twist time and time again.

“Baby, we are almost there. We will see Jellybean really soon. You are doing so well.” I kissed her lips tenderly before pulling away and taking a close look at her. Even in the middle of labor with a person trying to rip itself out of her, she was still the most beautiful girl in the world.

There was something so unique and life changing about watching the one person who was your universe attempt to give you the most precious gift. This woman lying before me in all of her pregnant glory was about to give me a child. We were about to share blood.

“Can you go and make sure Mr. Davenport is here?” Her eyes begged me. “I need him to be here.”

I nodded at Savannah before shooting a questioning look at the midwife. “You have time,” she said, confirming my unasked question.

After I rushed out of the room like a windstorm, my eyes darted around the sterile-smelling hallway as nurses and doctors hurried around me. The light above shone brightly, causing my eyes to squint under its annoying glare. I took off down the hall almost colliding with a lady wheeling the food cart and crashed through the door of the waiting area. My heart stopped when I found my family. Everyone was here; Tanzi, Jack, Lucas, Ali, Blake, Mr. Davenport, and mom.

Tanzi’s eyes widened the moment she looked up from the magazine in her hand to find me and the loudest, most high-pitched shriek I’d ever heard escaped from her tiny body. I flinched as pain shot through my ears.

“Tate! Am I an aunt? A girl or a boy? Is Jellybean adorable?” she rattled off, rushing towards me and pulling on my arm as if she needed to get my attention. Her shriek alone had gained the attention of everyone in the room.

“Settle down, Tanzi. Jellybean isn’t here yet.” I smiled. Her face dropped instantly. “Sav just wanted to make sure you were all here.” Speaking generically, I let my eyes land on Mr. Davenport’s, who stood silently.

“Can I have a word, Tate?” he abruptly announced and headed towards the corner of the waiting room. Obliging, I quickly kissed Tanzi on the cheek and moved towards him. Jamming my hands in my pockets and yawning loudly, I looked at him and waited for him to speak.

“How’s our girl going?” His eyes showed tiredness and concern for the girl who owned both our hearts. His suit was crumpled from the hours sitting in the plastic seats of the waiting room, but his face was bursting with intrigue.

“She is so perfect. She is doing amazingly well. I think our child is going to be stubborn. Jellybean definitely is comfortable in there.” I sighed, a hint of a smile playing on my lips.

“With parents like you two, what do you expect?” He laughed. “I hope your kid gives you hell.”

“I’ll just make sure I have his or her grandfather on speed dial for those hellish times. How will you be able to say no to spending time with your grandchild?”

“You are an evil genius Tate Connors.” Mr. Davenport laughed deeply and patted my shoulder before walking back to Mom.

Our relationship had gone full circle. To think that finally he realized I wasn’t going anywhere and that I was here for the long run made me feel pride swell in my chest. Mr. Davenport was the one and only man in my life I was desperate to gain respect from and finally I felt like I was slowly getting there.

A moment of clarity hit me as I stood by the window looking over the visitor’s courtyard below. I was hours—possibly minutes—away from becoming a father. For the past nine months, I’d wondered when it would finally hit me, when the reality that I was going to be responsible for a little person and that every decision I made would be for them, and right now it was here.

I was already thinking of the future. I was already planning the house I wanted to buy for my little family. I needed my little one to grow up on the beach. I needed him or her to experience the freedom, the ease, and the lifestyle the ocean offered. I wanted to give the ocean to Sav and her memories. I knew her parents would be with us if we were near the ocean.

The sound of the coffee machine grabbed my attention.
Coffee. An espresso would be great right now.
Darting through the other people in the waiting room, I followed the scent of strong coffee and impatiently waited in line. I needed to get to Sav. I felt someone come up beside me, and turning to my left my eyes, I landed on my brother. Shit, that still took a lot to get my head around.

“Hi,” Blake said timidly.

“Hey.”

“I wasn’t sure if I should come. Tanzi called me and demanded that I get my ass down here, and well, as you know, you can’t argue with her. I will leave the moment you tell me. I don’t want to cause any trouble,” he rambled and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. I took a good look at him and felt the edges of my mouth curve.