Breathe Again (19 page)

I rolled my head to the side and my eyes landed on Tate sitting in the far corner of the room. He sat back with his legs crossed at the ankles, softly speaking with Jack, Lucas, and Blake. His smile lit up the room but the exhaustion taking over his body was apparent. His brown hair disheveled and sticking up in crazy directions, his clothes crumpled and his blue eyes shadowed by sleeplessness, but still he was the most beautiful sight to me.

He had been with me every step of the way. He was the one who’d gotten me the ice cubes when I was thirsty. He was the one I had gripped on to as contractions ripped through my body. He was the one who’d allowed me to call him an arsehole during the birth. He was the one who’d gotten the gift of first seeing Max. And he was the one who had whispered that he loved me time and time again.

My body was riddled with exhaustion and aching in a way I’d never known possible, but my heart was exploding with a love that was indescribable. I felt exhilarated, like I could do absolutely anything, like I could face any challenge head-on, like I was the queen of the universe. I, Savannah Rae, was a mum.

“I love you,” Tate mouthed from across the room as his eyes fell on mine—the perfect blues I could only pray that our son would inherit. In all of our time together, I’d never felt this connected to him as I did in this single moment. That arrogant, self-assured, broken arsehole, who I’d wanted the moment my eyes had fallen on him in the elevator, was now the father of my child. Our love and angst had created this gorgeous miracle.

“Sav, he is beautiful,” Mr. Davenport’s voice rumbled beside me, breaking me from Tate.

“Can you believe I created him? It’s kinda freaky.” I laughed softly, sweeping my finger over Max’s soft forehead.

A cocky smirk formed on his lips. “He is going to be a ballbuster if he is anything like his mother.”

“You know what scares me the most? Is that this little person is a blank map without coordinates, a book with empty pages, a movie without a script. He can do anything with his life. He can be whoever he wants and do whatever his heart tells him. He has the ability to write whatever book he wants for his life and I am going to be the one who guides him. It scares me. I can’t fail him.” My voice hitched under my admission.

“You have been and will always be in my life, Sav. You are the one constant, the one anchor, the one fixture. Yes, you have had your falls, but when you rise, you rise with grace and a new determination. You don’t ever fail, Sav. You reemerge stronger, more beautiful, and more focused than ever. I have every faith in you, my girl. You will never fail him. This little guy is lucky to have you.”

“I need to find you a woman.”

As he rolls his eyes, I could swear I saw his cheeks flush crimson. “Oh god. Here we go again.”

“It’s either a woman or you are going to have Tanzi calling you a gilf.” My words played with the smiled swamping my face. I had made the mistake of telling Tanzi that it was only a matter of time before the nickname gilf would be circulating the office. Little did I know that she would be the one leading the crusade.

His brow rose in question. “Do I want to know what a gilf is?”

“Grandfather I’d like to fuck.”

Mr. Davenport shook his head and moved his eyes back down to Max while embarrassment crept up his neck. Before I had a second to warn him, Tanzi slipped up next to him with a familiar smirk planted on her lips.
Oh fuck. Here we go.

“You can be married, single, divorced, gay, or straight and I’d still call you a gilf,” Tanzi purred, wrapping her arm tightly around Mr. Davenport’s shoulders before directing her attention at me. “Sav, I could be the stepmom you’ve always wanted and I could be Max’s grandma.’

“Sorry, Tanzi, but I like my women blond.”

“I am willing to dye my hair,” she retorted without hesitation.

“Maybe a little older.”

“I am a good actress.”

“Preferably not in a relationship.”

Tanzi moved closer and dropped her voice. “I’m willing to leave him.” Tanzi’s face held still as she stared at Mr. Davenport. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open at her admission. Mr. Davenport’s eyes darted between mine and Tanzi’s, and I could sense that a billion thoughts were running through his head.

“Jack, come and get your damn girlfriend away from me!” Mr. Davenport growled in Jack’s direction.

Jack’s head shot up and he shook his head knowingly. “Are you trying to pick up the old guy again?”

“Who the hell are you called old? I’ll let you know that I’m a gilf, all right!” Mr. Davenport said, and everyone in the room burst out laughing. God, I loved that man.

“Jack, I want a baby!” Tanzi shrieked, startling Max. “Oh shit. Sorry, little buddy.”

Lucas, Jack, Blake, and Tate walked towards the bed, their eyes firmly set on Max, who was still watching Mr. Davenport closely. An instant bond had formed. I slowly and gently moved down the bed, allowing Tate to slide in behind me. I leaned back against his chest as his arms wrapped around me and rested on my hips. He was so gentle with me. The beat of his heart thudding against my back and the warmth his body provided soothed me within seconds. His fingers found my hair, sweeping it off my neck, and his lips found the special spot he knew I loved just beneath my ear.

“Thank you for giving me the best gift in the world.”

There will be moments in life

that will leave you completely

Until you learn to

Tate

Two years later

“H
APPY BIRTHDAY,
Maxey!” Savannah’s high-pitched bellow ripped through the apartment. Watching our son playing with his abundant amount of toys on the floor of our living room caused emotion to bubble within me. We were surrounded by family and friends, celebrating our little boy’s second birthday. Savannah sat beside Max, helping him open his presents with pride covering her face. She was the perfect mom. Everything revolved around Max and nothing was too good for him. The moment she became a mom, she’d changed but in the best possible way. She’d opened her heart to possibilities, to new beginnings, and she’d closed some of the doors of her past. But still there were ones I didn’t think we would ever get closed.

For two years we had been living in pure and utter bliss. Our days had been filled with watching Max, being completely in awe when he’d crawled for the first time, taken his first step, and said momma and dada for the first time. There were still days when we would look at each other and burst out laughing at the fact that we were parents. Tate and Savannah, two people I was sure many people would have cringed at the thought of being parents, were doing a damn good job with this little guy.

I was what Savannah so lovingly and teasingly called a ‘textbook dad.’ I’d read way too many books on what to expect as a new father, which had left me watching too closely for illnesses and stressing when he didn’t do something the book had told me he should be doing. But he always surprised me. He did everything before he was supposed to. He’d crawled early, he’d said his first word early, and he’d walked early. And every time, I’d felt my chest swell with pride.

“You have that look on your face again?” Sav cooed as she took a seat on my lap and huddled into my chest. Shooting her a look, I unlocked my arms from around her waist and pouted. Her giggle sounded like music to my ears.

“You really need to stop with the teasing,”

“Ahh, are you upset, my little muffin?”

“And you need to stop with the cute names.”

“Fine, I’ll start calling you an arsehole again,” she whispered with a raised brow.

I nodded triumphantly. “That’s better. We don’t want to become that sickeningly cute couple now, do we? If you call me muffin, I’ll call you dear.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me,
dear
.”

Her glare caused my ego to soar. If anything, the stubbornness we’d each possessed had fueled us to the point of fiery arguments and battles that neither of us would ever back down from, but that was Tate and Savannah, and I hoped to Christ we’d never lose the fieriness of our relationship. She kept me on my toes. That’s for sure.

“I hope you know he clearly gets his awesomeness from his mum,” Sav taunted, looking back towards Max, who now sat with Tanzi and Jack, playing with the Thomas the Tank Engine toy they had bought him.

“Well it’s obvious he gets his good looks from his dad,” I retaliated.

“Whatever.”

I pulled Sav towards me, wrapping her in my arms as we sat in silence, watching Max. Today was about him; every day was about him. Whether it was our early morning snuggles in bed watching his newfound addiction of Thomas and Friends, taking him to the beach and watching him hesitate by the water’s edge, or moments when it was just the three of us cuddled on the couch, it was in those moments where I knew I was the luckiest bastard in the world.

A
S
I strode through Red Velvet, ready to start my evening shift, a cold shiver of fear rang through my body. I stopped suddenly in the middle of the crowded bar as a need to scope out the bar took over my every thought. Everything looked like a normal Saturday night at Red Velvet. Bachelor parties were in full swing, the band was playing on stage, the bar was crowded with people three deep waiting to be served, and the air was thick with excitement, anticipation, and sweaty desire. It was a normal Saturday night, but something didn’t feel right.

Finding Jack talking with Stevie by the closed door of my office, I marched through as the anxiety I was feeling soared to unrealistic proportions. What the fuck was going on? I spoke sternly when I reached them. “Is everything okay here tonight?”

They both looked at each other and a look of caution and understanding bounced between them. Instantly a shiver ran down my spine. Something wasn’t right and these two in front of me were keeping it from me. I owned the fucking bar; I deserved to know. My temper and unease flared like a ranging wildfire.

“Who is going to tell me what the fuck is going on?”

“It seems Chelsea forgot about her ban from Red Velvet and she has brought someone along with her.” Stevie admitted cautiously.