Break Your Heart (17 page)

             
“Yep.  She’s a good girl.  She is smart, driven and hard working. She is a good friend.” He continued.

             
“Sounds like you have a great catch,” she replied with a warm and sincere smile as she took a bite of her bagel.  A bit of cream cheese smeared across the tip of her nose.

             
“How’d you and your fiancé meet?” Grant took his napkin off his lap and softly wiped away the cream cheese from her face. 

             
Her entire body tensed from his touch. 
It’s just Grant,
she reminded herself as her thoughts escaped her.

             
Grant peered back to her, “so, your fiancé?”

             
“Oh, right Adam.  Umm, so, we met when I moved to a new apartment at the start of my junior Yeahr.  He lived on my floor. By the end of the Yeahr my roommate Ali started dating his roommate Nate. A couple months later Adam and I were dating.” She paused. 

He
was intently watching her as she spoke.

             
“After we graduated he took an internship in California.  I stayed here, bought a house, got a job. The distance was too much. But, a Yeahr later he moved back home. A Yeahr after that, he proposed. That was almost two Yeahrs ago.” 

             
Grant nodded his head as if to say he was listening to her. He pointed to her glass, “more juice?”

             
She shook her head from side-to-side. She couldn’t decide if he was intentionally changing the subject or not.  Although glad he did. Speaking about Adam in front of Grant felt so unnatural. It was as if the idea of her being engaged to someone else wasn’t in the realm of possibilities. She watched as he glanced her over. It reminded her of the night she met him in Kipshaw. Her mind raced that night; plagued with thoughts of curiosity and confusion for she was completely unable to decode his stares.

             
“So,” she said slowly rummaging through her mind for things to say.  She used to be able to talk to Grant for hours upon hours about anything and everything.  The elephant in the room seemed to be preventing the ease of their friendship to come back.  “You still playing?”

             
“Of course.”  He looked so relaxed and calm leaning back into his chair. “I have a neighbor in North Carolina who I play with.  He is really chill and has mad chops.  Cool guy, you would like him.” He paused, “well, the Gina I knew would have liked him. And I play with my Dad when I am home…”

             
He was continuing his words but Gina had stopped listening.
The Gina he knew? What the hell does that mean?
“What?” It was the only word that seemed to come to surface.

             
“What?”

             
She wasn’t sure what he had been talking about while she got lost in her thoughts. “The Gina you used to know?”

             
He gave her a half smile followed by a large grin.

             
“I mean really, Grant?”

             
“Oh, there she is. Sensitive and sassy. Just like when I met her.”

             
“Very funny.” She laughed, tossing her napkin at him. “Do you remember that night, when we met, in Chris’s back yard?” She looked up viewing the memory in her mind.  “I listened to that song a million times after that night, I thought I would never see you again.” She laughed out loud at how silly it sounded and wondered why she allowed that to slip out of her mouth.

             
“I listened to that song a million times last week and thought I'd never see you again,” he paused. “You were wearing purple underwear.”

             
“What!” She said, lightly pushing his right shoulder.

             
“Just recalling the facts.”

             
“Keep it clean.” She replied, taking another bite of her

bagel. Her face felt warm and flushed as the awkwardness of what was transpiring before her became real again. “So, how are your parents?”

              “They’re good. They miss you babe.”

             
“I miss them too. I wanted to come by and visit, but I knew it would be too hard.”

             
“I know. Its okay.”

             
Silence once again took over the space they sat in. Grant shuffled his fork around pushing the cantaloupe on his plate into the watermelon. 

             
Gina watched him play a game of soccer with his fruit in a daze. “I forgot how beautiful it is here.” She motioned her hand to the yard around her. “I remember how we used to spend hours laying in the hammock, talking.”
Why would you bring that up! Oh my God Gina, stop talking, what are you doing!

             
They both peered down to the single hammock that lay tied between two large oak trees, shadowed by their leaves.  It swayed slowly in the subtle wind that passed through the yard.

             
“And the times we spent in the hot tub.” He smiled again, this time like an adolescent boy testing his boundaries.

“Good times,” he whispered. He looked back down into the yard to the hot tub on the patio, quietly recalling the nights they spent fantasizing about their future. Slowly, he looked back at
her; a mixture of emotions puzzled his face.

             
“So,” she replied slowly, feeling and appearing very out of sorts. “Don’t you want to know how I got your number?” She couldn’t filter the words coming from her mouth. Whatever came to mind seemed to fly right past her teeth.

             
“No. I'm just glad you got it.” He paused, “ok, how did you get it?”

             
“Internet.”

             
“Where’s the husband today?” He asked, paying no attention to her previous words.

             
“Fiancé.” She corrected. “He left early this morning for an overnight fishing trip with his buddies.”

             
                 Grant didn’t reply or even seem interested in the answer to his own question. “Want to take a walk?” He asked.

             
     “Sure. Where to?”

      
     “I don’t know.  Let’s just walk.” He stood up and moved past her towards the stairs.

          
“Okay.”  She got out of her chair and followed him down the wooden stairs off the deck and down to the driveway.

             
    “It’s beautiful out. I love days like this.” The nerves consuming her began to shake out as she walked along the property.  The change of pace was giving her the freedom to feel more like herself.

             
“Me too,” Grant replied.

             
They continued on quietly, making a left out of the drive and down the street.  The air was fresh and crisp, warmed by the bright sun.  The only sounds around to be heard were the trees rustling above them and the patter of their feet below.  A quick wind passed by them, lifting up the loose leaves that had fallen to the ground.  It swirled around the debris it had picked up from the earth, and then set them back down, leaving as quickly as it came. Neither spoke again until they hit a deeply wooded lot that led to the bluff. Both walked carefully though the grass and brush.  They passed a mass of old maple trees.

             
Gina cracked a half smile as she peered back at Grant.

    
“What?” He smiled. Her childlike innocence grabbed him. He remembered how sweet and pure she was when he met her. She had grown a lot, he thought, during the time they were together and even more while they were apart. Somehow she flawlessly portrayed her complex yet simple personality combining her innocent childlike tendency with her wit and intelligence. It drove Grant crazy then, and based on the tug in his heart, it drove him crazy now as well. 

             
“One, two, three, four, five, six.”  She stopped and smiled that smile he loved. Her finger was pointed to a heart carved at eye level in the tree.  In the middle of the heart was scribed
G2.
 

             
“G squared.” He laughed.  “Can you believe it’s been, what eight Yeahrs since we carved that?”

             
“Seven.  We carved that the summer after we met. Time flies,” she responded. She stared at the tree, tracing the carving with her fingers in silence.  A solemn look came upon her face as a knot grew in the pit of her stomach.

             
Grant went to speak but realized he already knew the answer to his question. Asking her what was wrong would be like asking himself the same question. Instead, he raised his head and widened his eyes, asking her without words.

             
“Nothing,” she smiled softly.  She turned away from the tree and began walking deeper through the woods pushing back the tears in her eyes. She gained her composure before turning back to him. “Remember that night we spent out here, in the winter.” She turned before he could answer and began her walk towards the gorge.

             
“Sure,” he said catching up behind her.  “We decided we would have all boys right?” He teased.

             
“And a little girl of course.”

“Right,
McKayla was it?”

“You forgot?”

“Of course not,” he laughed.

             
“What do you think would have happened to us?” She stopped and turned around once again, facing him. The seriousness on her face provided him a curious comfort.  The gorge was behind her now. The river that ran through it filled the air with noise as the water splashed against the natures wonder.

             
“What do you mean?” He asked.  He tried to place his emotions back to where they belonged, with Sarah. He couldn’t find the spare room in his heart to do so. Gina was consuming him with full force answering that burning question he had had in his heart since she left him.  It was Gina that completed him; Gina that understood him, and Gina that made him want to be a better man. 

             
“If we would have stayed together?”

             
“I think we would be happily married right now, watching our army of boys and little McKayla run around.”

“You think we would have been
happy?”

“I know we would have been happy.  We’d be back in

Chicago, living amongst boring suburbanites. We would be social in our neighborhood, mingling our children with the other kids on the block. I would work at the college during the week, come to soccer games after work, grill out in the summer.” He was going on in an easy ramble.

             
“Is that so, and what would I be doing?” She said, amused by his vision.

             
“You would teach kindergarten. And probably drive a mini van.”

             
“Never!”

             
“They’re practical.” He said, taking her hand in his.

             
What are you doing? You are engaged!
Her hand slipped into his with ease.  She couldn’t help but feel the warmth of his hand and the energy of him allowing herself to enjoy his presence. “How about an SUV?” She continued the conversation as he took the lead walking them along the gorge through the woods.

             
“Fair.” He paused. “We would live the typical American family life.”

             
“Sounds kind of boring, doesn’t it?”

             
“Sure does.” He laughed, “we’d be just like everyone else. Except for the amazing sex, living the rest of your life with your soulmate, thing.”

             
“We did have good sex!” She laughed.  Her cheeks began to blush. She slowly released her hand from his feeling guilty or maybe tempted by the conversation before her.

“Yep.” He replied.

“What about you and Sarah?”
Gina? Who asks that?

“The sex?”

“Uh, Yeah.” She lowered her head to the ground realizing

she had walked herself into a conversation she didn’t want to be in.

              “Standard issue.” He paused, “you and I were good together babe, we’re a pretty lethal combination.” He stopped himself, turning towards her and fixed his eyes on hers. A light wind passed through flying a piece of Gina’s hair up.  He brushed it back and carefully tucked it behind her ear.

             
“I know,” she whispered.  Everything fell very quiet and still with the exception of the birds and the wind. Gina could feel the pounding in her heart take forefront as the rest of the world felt as if it had disappeared. 

   
“Why did you call me yesterday?” The weight of the moment fell on both of them. Grant was wearing his feelings on his face, something she rarely remembered him doing.