“All right, the baby is crowning. Slow and
steady pushes now,” Heath instructed. I was in awe of his
confidence and skill as a doctor, though it didn’t surprise me.
“Stop pushing!”
“What’s wrong?” I uttered.
“The cord, it’s wrapped like a noose around
the baby’s neck. I have to cut it off. I need that knife!”
Rachael let out a howl I was certain everyone
in the ballroom could hear. I ran out into the hall where Richard
was attempting to calm Sterling, who was outside pacing,
frantic.
“We need a knife, now! Hurry!”
Richard hugged me close, and as I turned to
go back inside, I caught Heath watching us for only a second. Then
he quickly turned his attention back to Rachael and reassured her.
He held her hand and told her the baby was going to be fine. And he
was right. The baby girl was born only minutes later. A healthy
baby girl Rachael shockingly named, Vivienne.
“What is she thinking?” Richard shouted when
told.
“It‘s a pretty name,” I replied.
“Judith is aghast.”
“It’s late. Go to bed. I’m exhausted. There
is nothing you can do about it now.”
The look of fury in his eyes lingered with me
as I tried to fall asleep. The thought of Heath’s blue eyes kept me
from sleeping at all.
First thing the next morning, Richard was
rushing me about, insisting we leave right away.
“But I thought we weren’t leaving until
later!”
“Judith is furious. And I cannot face my own
brother and his wife any longer.”
“All because of the name of the child?” I
asked in amazement.
Richard had the butler take my suitcase and
load it up. I followed behind, still groggy from my lack of
sleep.
“I thought I would be able to speak with
Heath today.”
“Another time.”
I had waited what seemed like a lifetime to
see Heath Dalton again. How could I stand leaving without knowing
if he truly did not remember me? Richard wouldn’t hear of my
protest and lifted me up kicking and screaming into the coach.
“This is ludicrous!” I yelled as we headed further away from the
Van Dorn estate.
“Certainly is.”
“What do you think I’m referring to?” I
snapped.
“The name of the child!”
“NO.
Your
behavior.”
“You don’t understand.”
“How can I possibly understand? You have kept
the mysterious Vivienne a secret from me,” I spat and faced away
from him.
“I didn’t want to stir up old problems,” he
mumbled.
“Well, apparently they have been stirred. So
what are you doing to do about it? Run away? Hide? Never speak to
your brother or Rachael again?”
“Exactly!”
The fight between Judith and Richard over old
secrets and lies caused Judith to stay away from the city. I was
pleased, grateful not to have her around. However, Richard didn’t
find the pleasure in it like I did, and he retreated from everyone,
including me. His seat was empty for every one of my performances,
and my heart sank when I came home and he wasn’t there.
“Where did Mr. Parker go this evening?” I
asked Randolph.
“Didn’t say, miss.”
It was the second week being alone at night.
My mind spun wildly with thoughts of Heath and Richard. I felt
neither of them had me in
their
thoughts. While Richard
dwelled on things from the past he couldn’t change, so did I. We
were both miserable, and it was a mutual feeling I thought might
bring us closer together, but it hadn’t.
When we met by chance when he and I arrived
home at the same time, I confronted him. He looked terrible! There
were dark circles under his tired, weary eyes, and I could not
fathom how the name of one innocent little baby could cause him
such misery. I was aware that Judith had some resentment toward
Richard; however, I didn’t realize to what extreme it had
escalated.
I followed Richard about like a lost puppy
until he finally became annoyed and addressed me. “What!”
“Don’t you want to tell me your
troubles?”
“Not tonight, Lillian.”
“Tell me. I care deeply for you. I hate to
see what you are going through. Isn’t there any way I can help?” I
believed he saw the innocence in me and pitied my simplicity.
“She has cut me off,” he said with virtually
no emotion.
“Judith?”
“No more money.”
“Why would she do such a thing?”
Richard had me sit with him, and he began his
weary tale of the lies and betrayals I believe every family must
experience.
“I met Judith and her family when I first
moved to France. I was a poor aspiring artist, like most are, and I
was fortunate enough to have my art noticed in an exhibit. Judith,
then thirty, saw my work and invited me to the Van Dorn chateau.
She seduced me there, told me she would make me famous if I married
her. I would have wealth beyond my dreams, and I could one day be
one of the world’s greatest artists if I so wished. I wanted all
she had to offer, and married her soon after we met.”
Richard closed his eyes and reflected back to
years before. “Rachael was fourteen at the time. Lovely and
beautiful, but far too young for me. She adored her older sisters,
especially Judith. They were very close at the time. And I knew
Rachael had a silly girl’s crush on me. It was sweet and innocent.
Then we moved to New York City, Judith showered me with money and
introduced me to the editor of the magazine where I was instantly
hired as an illustrator. I was elated. I stayed true to Judith for
so many years, until one woman crossed my vision and changed my
life.”
“And that was Vivienne?”
“She was one of the maids at the estate on
the river. I would sketch her when she wasn’t watching me. And when
she finally caught me, she was flattered and I was thrilled.
Vivienne agreed to let me sketch her at my will, clothed and nude
alike. She was amazing, gorgeous, and I quickly fell in love with
her. We carried on a torrid affair. I was careful not to have
Judith find out.
“So how did she find out?” I asked on the
edge of my seat with anticipation.
“Rachael caught us together in bed. She was
devastated, and not for Judith but for herself. She had been coming
onto me, and she was, I admit, very tempting. I made the mistake of
returning a kiss once, and she held onto the belief that I would
leave Judith for her someday. And besides telling Judith of my
affair with Vivienne, she up and married my brother Sterling, just
to spite me. That’s all it was.
“Don’t you see? It’s not the name of the baby
- it’s what it represents. It is a slap in the face to the sister
who took the first man she loved. And Rachael wants her to divorce
me, take everything, and leave me with nothing. That would be her
sweet revenge.”
I hadn’t imagined Rachael could ever do such
a thing. However, what I recalled her saying when we first met, and
the anguish in Richard’s face, claimed it all to be true.
“Shortly after Judith learned of the
adultery, Vivienne was killed in a horrible accident. I was
forgiven, though Judith still holds it over my head today. I
thought nothing or no one would ever pull me out of my depression
or give me hope, until I met you in Savannah. You reminded me so
much of Vivienne, though you are even more stunning,” he
confessed.
Before that evening, I would have given
anything to hear Richard’s anguish and relish the longing he had in
his eyes for me. However, the memory of Heath remained a burden,
and the love I once held for him was heavy on my heart. Seeing him
again made me want him all over, even if he was engaged to
beautiful Sarah.
“Can’t you make it on your own? You’re the
head illustrator!”
“Live like this? Look around. Do you think I
can afford
all
this?”
“I can help. I will ask for more money.”
He laughed cynically, then said, “Thank you
Lillian, for being so young.”
We sat in silence as the night grew late, and
all the while, my mind filled with thoughts of worry and fret. With
Heath’s sudden appearance back into my life, and the arrival of a
baby who’s name came with such heavy affliction, Richard and I were
left to reflect on events of the past and the uncertain path to the
future, where choices were predictably bound to be full of mistakes
and endless regret.
* * *
Judith was as good as her word. She cut off
Richard’s allowance immediately. He returned from the bank furious.
“I have to go see her. This is unacceptable. For God sake, I have
my rights!” he bellowed.
I remembered in the past Richard saying none
of his wife’s wealth meant anything to him. But now that he was
without it, his attitude changed. I was happy to know he was
hurrying up to see Judith. With any luck, Richard would convince
her to change her mind, forgive and forget, and then I would be
able to monitor Heath, even see him again, I secretly hoped. If
Judith stood by her conviction, I feared I would never see him
again. So I encouraged Richard.
“She will listen, I am certain of it. She
loves you,” I said as he climbed into the coach for the long, bumpy
journey upstate.
“I hope so, Lillian, for both our sakes.”
Being alone in the enormous mansion
intimidated me, though Randolph and Agnes were always somewhere
about. However, neither was a friend. Richard was my only friend,
and while he was gone - begging, pleading, and most likely fighting
with Judith for his financial share - I was left to question,
speculate, and hope the crisis would soon be over.
To keep my mind off of our predicament, I
engrossed myself in work, and lingered in the dressing rooms well
before it was time to show up for work. When the girls began to
arrive for the night’s performance, I was grateful to have the
commotion, the chaos, and the whirlwind of activity that came from
putting on make-up and dressing in costume. I envied their
camaraderie and the intimate secrets they shared with one another.
Usually, I stayed back in the shadows while waiting to go onstage,
and avoided being noticed until I was on stage in front of a crowd
of spectators who adored me. They had paid to see me, and oh, how I
clung onto the gratification. And in the midst of such unsettled
seas came Ned Griffin once again, trying to win me over, only this
time it was to have me join his cast - to be the star of his new
production.
“I will offer you twice as much as Bart pays
you,” he said after the show as I walked along the dark streets of
the city to get home. Ned followed me, insisting I listen,
consider, and appreciate his offer. Little did he know it couldn’t
have come at a better time. But I didn’t let on.
“I don’t think Richard would appreciate you
harassing me, Mr. Griffin.”
“You must believe me when I tell you that I
will make you the star you should be. You will receive the
publicity you deserve. Bart Wilco takes you for granted!”
I continued my quick pace and refused to stop
and give him the satisfaction of winning me over. Richard had told
me that men, especially in this business, were untrustworthy. He
showered me with frightening tales of what could happen to
vulnerable young girls who wanted to be famous. The stories were
far more fear-provoking than anything Daddy had warned me about
when I was a little girl. I was fortunate to have such an honest,
decent man as Richard Parker to keep me under his wing and protect
me from such horrible things. Ned Griffin, I wasn’t so sure.
Although he seemed honest, and he dressed the
part of a distinguished gentleman, I was still very suspicious of
him and his motives. Nevertheless, the nagging thought of Richard’s
dire financial situation weighed on me, so much so that when we
reached the mansion, I invited him inside so I could hear more.
“A drink, Mr. Griffin?” I asked as I eagerly
poured myself one.
“Yes, thank you.” He took off his coat and
handed it to Randolph, who thought nothing of my handsome
guest.
“You know I am happy where I am,” I said.
There was a twinkle in his eyes the color of Richard’s. He knew
better. He had watched me staying in the shadows, away from the
others in the show. And, he was well aware of Richard’s
allowance.
“It is a pathetic man who lives with a woman
who wears the trousers,” he said glancing around the mansion, then
poured himself another drink. “Richard Parker is nothing without
his wife to carry him.”
“How dare you say that in his house? Richard
is a fabulous illustrator, a remarkable artist, and he doesn’t need
her money,” I defended. “You have some nerve, Mr. Griffin!”
“So, it’s not true? They are just rumors?” he
asked with his brows raised in question. I stood and glared at him
defiantly. There was no chance I would betray Richard and reveal
his complicated world to Ned or anyone. I was loyal and true to
Richard, and I made that very clear.
“I wouldn’t be the star of your show if you
gave me ten times what Bart Wilco pays me. You have some nerve
waltzing in here and insulting Richard. I want you out! Don’t ever
approach me again!” I escorted Ned out the doors.
“I will wait for you, Lillian. This role was
meant for you and you alone,” he called just as the door slammed
shut in his face.
“Will there be anything else, miss?” Randolph
asked.
My chest was heaving so hard from
exasperation and annoyance I could barely answer him.
“That will be all. Goodnight, Randolph, and
thank you.” He turned to go. “And Randolph . . .”
“Yes, miss?”
“Say none of this to Mr. Parker.”
“Indeed.”
I didn’t dare tell Richard anything about my
meeting with Ned. Even though I worried about our predicament up
until the time his coach stopped at the front of the house, I knew
we couldn’t have anything to do with Ned Griffin.