“Wait for us,” Heath insisted.
Ayden frowned then barked, “No.”
“You wait for your brother and Lillian, you
hear?” Edward stated firmly. Ayden sat back down with his arms
folded over his chest and shot me a look of disgust. I couldn’t
imagine why Ayden disliked me so.
Heath took his time and carried on a
conversation with Daddy, talking about other stations and such.
Daddy had only been keeper of one lighthouse, but had served in the
Confederate Navy. Daddy told me he decided to become a lighthouse
keeper after years spent at sea.
“The keepers stay up all night to make
certain those at sea stay safe. Now it’s my turn,” he told me. “The
other benefit to my service, Lillian, is that we can be far away
from the disgrace of the war.”
Daddy didn’t talk about the war between the
North and South often. The only time it was mentioned was when he
had a point to make or a lesson about life that he believed I
absolutely needed to know. When he spoke of the disgrace, I wasn’t
certain which side he believed was disgraceful. Even though Momma
and Daddy were from the South—Savannah, Georgia, in fact, I
believed in the war and the fight to free the slaves. I never
expressed my feelings; I never wanted to hurt Daddy. If the Daltons
were aware that Momma, Daddy, and I were southerners, they didn’t
show any prejudice.
“Are you ready, Lillian?” Heath asked, and
stood. I gladly followed him when he announced he was going to show
me around.
Near the house was a vegetable garden, and
close by a chicken coop. The woodshed was also near, as was the fog
signal house, and not too far from that was the pump house.
“Over yonder is the oil house, and way down
below is the boat house. It’s in disrepair; the plans are to
rebuild it this summer.”
Ayden followed as we made our way to the
other side of the island. We strolled slowly and I listened as
Heath described the last keeper’s tragedy.
“His name was Victor, and he was killed in
the fire that destroyed the first house, which was built back in
1815. He had been keeper for ten years.”
“And his ghost still walks the island,” Ayden
chimed in, as we stood looking back at the lighthouse.
“Oh, Ayden, don’t scare her,” Heath said, and
he patted me on the head. “It’s all nonsense. Ayden’s head is full
of that kind of stuff.”
“No, it’s not!” Ayden shouted. “It’s true.
I’ve seen the ghost.”
Heath laughed and started walking ahead.
Ayden picked up a rock and threw it at Heath’s head, just missing
him. Heath laughed even harder, and Ayden’s eyes welled up with
tears. Before he would allow me to see him cry, he ran off.
“Come on, Ayden; come back,” Heath called,
but Ayden wouldn’t return. “He’ll be fine,” he said, continuing to
lead. “This is my new telescope. I have already seen a pod of
humpback whales.”
The telescope stood out on the bluff and
faced the great expanse of ocean.
“Go ahead, look through it.”
I had never looked through one before and was
amazed at how far out into the ocean I could see.
“On clear nights, I come out to study the
stars. Do you know all the constellations?”
Heath was so much older and wiser than I, and
I admired his intelligence.
“Have you ever heard of Galileo?” he asked.
“Did you ever read Starry Messenger?”
“No, I haven’t,” I said, lowering my eyes for
fear he would think me unintelligent.
“I will give you the book to read. I can
teach you everything you would ever want to know about the galaxy,”
he said, looking up into the early evening sky. I was excited that
Heath was so interested in me—that he wanted to teach me things I
never imagined I would learn first-hand.
“Later tonight, if the fog doesn’t roll in,
we’ll come out here and gaze up at the stars through my telescope.
Maybe Ayden will want to come, too. For now we should be getting
back now. I have evening chores to do. Besides, you’d better ask
your father if you can stay up that late.”
Heath apparently thought I was a little girl.
He didn’t realize I often worked as Daddy’s first assistant when
Momma wasn’t feeling well. I knew how to wash the windows of the
lantern, trim the wicks, and had even hauled oil to the top of the
tower. I had once stayed up all night, ringing the bell until the
fog lifted.
“I’m not a little girl,” I said on our way
back. “I don’t have to get to bed.”
Heath stopped and turned to me. “If you don’t
mind me asking, Lillian—how old are you?”
“I am eleven.”
Heath smiled, his eyes softened, and then he
said, “Just as I thought. Ayden is eleven, although he acts more
like a five-year-old.”
We stood for a moment as Heath waited for my
reply. I didn’t have one. Once again, I lowered my eyes, fearing he
would see my insecurities. To my surprise, Heath didn’t ignore my
feelings as he had done with Ayden.
“Don’t feel bad. You’re a smart girl,
Lillian. I can see that. You and I are going to learn so much here.
After the summer is over, I will row you out to the mainland, where
you will attend a real school. Doesn’t that sound exciting?” Heath
put his arm around me, and my heart skipped a beat.
“Yes, it does,” I said, giving him a warm
smile. Heath smiled in return and walked me back to my house, his
arm still on my shoulders.
Before I went to sleep that night, I stood at
my window and watched the fog roll in. Daddy stopped in to see me
before he made his way up to the tower. “Would you like to work the
fog signal tonight, Lillian?” he asked.
“Yes, Daddy,” I replied. Daddy nodded his
head and said he would see me shortly. Momma soon came up to my
room to brush my long hair. It was a ritual we followed every
night, even when she wasn’t feeling well. Momma had gone to dozens
of doctors on our infrequent visits to the mainland, and none of
them could figure out what was wrong with her. She was often tired
and achy, and her only relief was sleep. That’s when I would take
over as first assistant for her. I had been learning the duties of
a keeper since the age of four. Daddy said I was a natural—that if
I wanted to, I could grow up to be a principal keeper. He was
certain of it.
“You’re a special girl, Lillian; you can do
anything you want. Look at your mother. She is smart and funny and
the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. You’re just like
her,” Daddy said as I sat on his lap when we were at the very top
of the watch tower, staring out at the sea.“The whole world is
yours to make of what you want. It doesn’t matter what people say
or think. You do what makes you happy, no matter what.”
Whenever he spoke, I gazed into his eyes and
somehow knew his words would help me in my most troubled times.
Momma came in, led me to the bed, and then
began to brush my hair. “Do you like it here, Lillian?” she
asked.
“I do, Momma. Very much.”
“Are you happy to have friends?”
“I am. I know Ayden, Heath, and I will become
the best of friends. Heath is so smart; do you know he wants to
become a doctor someday?”
“Really? That certainly would be an
achievement.”
“And Ayden—well, I don’t think he likes me
much,” I said, and sighed heavily.
“Why do you say that?”
As she continued to take long strokes of my
hair with the soft brush, I tried to think of an answer, but
nothing at all came to mind. Momma saw my trouble.
“I think I know why,” she said softly. I
tilted my head and turned around to face her.
“He thinks you are the most beautiful girl he
has ever seen. Since the moment he laid eyes on you, since the
first moment you stepped into the room, you captured his heart,”
Momma said wistfully, her eyes glazed over, as if in her mind she
were far away, in another time and place.
“Momma, what do you mean?”
Her eyes fell onto me and she smiled. “It
means Ayden loves you and will someday proclaim his love to
you.”
I didn’t think for one minute that Momma was
right. Ayden didn’t think I was beautiful. And the only man who
loved me was Daddy, and the only man I secretly wanted to be in
love with me was Heath. If anyone someday would proclaim his love
to me, I wanted it to be Heath. I wasn’t ready to confess to Momma
my feelings about Heath. I was too embarrassed. I had seen what
love was; I had seen Daddy and Momma together. They shared
themselves in a way that both frightened me and left me curious at
the same time. When Daddy kissed her, she would melt away in his
arms, and nothing else mattered. When Daddy climbed in bed with
her, I was afraid. On the nights that Daddy loved her, I closed my
eyes and wished myself away. I was scared to have a man love me
like that. I wouldn’t want Heath to love me in that way.
“You look tired, my sweet girl. Why don’t you
lie down and sleep?”
I yawned and rubbed my eyes, then said, “I
promised Daddy I would give the fog signal tonight.”
“I will do that for him. You get some sleep;
it has been a long day,” she said, and pulled the covers up over
me.
I agreed and kissed Momma goodnight. As she
closed the door, I thought of what it would have been like if the
fog hadn’t rolled in, and Heath had taken me out to his telescope
and showed me the constellations. I hoped we would be able to do it
some night. I hoped he wouldn’t forget his offer.
By late morning, the fog had burned off, and
shortly after cleaning up the breakfast dishes, which I washed over
at the well pump, I suggested the boys and I go see if we could
find some rocks with fossils in them. Heath thought it was a great
idea. Ayden showed no interest.
“I would rather haul the oil up to the tower
than search for some boring fossils,” he grunted.
“Okay, it’s your choice,” Heath said,
shrugging his broad shoulders. He turned to me and winked, then
said, “It’s just you and me, kid.”
The day was warm, and as predicted, the brisk
ocean breezes kept the summer days from ever becoming too hot. On
the beach were thousands of rocks, both large and small.
Immediately, Heath found a rock that had a plant fossil embedded in
it.
“What kind of plant do you think it was?” I
asked, watching him peer closely at it.
“I’m not sure. I will have to look it up in
my book. Let’s get more, and we can make a pile over here.”
We combed the shore and found dozens of
rocks, and as I sat picking through our pile, Heath came over and
said, “Close your eyes and put out your hand.”
I did.
“Okay, now open your eyes.” Heath placed a
beautiful seashell in my hand. “That is called a King’s Crown.”
I gazed up at him as the shimmer of the sun’s
rays from the ocean cast a glow behind him. I couldn’t see his
face, only his silhouette. No one had ever given me a gift before,
except Momma and Daddy on my birthday. But it wasn’t my birthday,
and the token gift was given to me by a boy who thought I must be
special.
“That’s for you to make a collection. Then
you can learn every name of every seashell on the shore.”
My heart sank as I realized Heath hadn’t
meant it as a gift, but as a tool to learn. I swallowed my
disappointment and said, “Thank you, Heath.”
“You’re welcome, kid.”
The day before, he had called me by my name,
not “kid.” Kid was the name of a goat, not a girl. In spite of my
frustration, I got up and continued to search for more seashells
with him.
“This one is an Imperial Venus. And this one
is an Atlantic Bubble,” he said with great enthusiasm. Then, out of
the corner of my eye, I noticed Ayden lying on the ground, trying
to hide and spy on us. If Heath saw him, he didn’t let on. Instead,
he reached down, picked up a stone, and threw it as far as he could
out into the water. In the distance, a schooner sailed by. Above
us, the seagulls flew into the light wind; some landed and walked
the beach.
Heath then picked up another stone, but
instead of throwing it out into the ocean, he quickly spun around
and barreled the rock at Ayden.
“I see you there, Ayden,” Heath called,
laughter in his voice. Ayden scrambled to rise as Heath picked up
another stone and aimed it at his brother, but this time, he did
not throw it. “Why are you spying on us, little boy?”
Ayden stood tall and proud, then picked up a
piece of drift wood and flung it at us, almost hitting me.
“Hey, you almost hit Lillian! Say you’re
sorry,” Heath commanded. Ayden hurried to throw another stick.
Heath’s eyes grew dark. Ayden saw his brother’s anger and turned to
run, but Heath was fast on his trail. I scrambled up the small
embankment and watched Heath catch up to Ayden and grab the back of
his suspenders, then they both toppled to the ground.
Ayden lay on the ground while Heath held his
arms down to keep from being punched.
“Say you are sorry,” Heath commanded.
Ayden refused.
“I’m going to hold you down until you say it,
Ayden,” Heath warned. I stood over him and waited for Ayden to give
in.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity,
Ayden looked at me with eyes full of fury then looked away,
muttering, “I’m sorry.” Heath loosed his hold on Ayden. I watched
as he ran off, heading far away, to the other side of the
island.
Heath stood and brushed the dirt from his
trousers with his hands. “I apologize for my brother, Lillian,” he
said softly, gazing over to where Ayden had run off. “He has a fire
in him that I don’t understand.”
I was taken in by Heath’s chivalry, in awe of
his looks, and enamored with his gentlemanly charm. I thought of
what Momma had told me the night before. There was absolutely no
way Ayden felt anything other than hatred for me. I was certain of
it.
Not long after, we gathered our rocks and
brought them back to the house. Heath and I parted ways at my front
door.