“Judith looks good now, but I guarantee she
will bloat up by the end of the summer.” She laughed before turning
over, trying to get comfortable.
“Why is it you don’t get along with her? Is
it because she is years older?” I asked, helping to adjust her
pillow under her neck.
“No,” she replied closing her tired eyes.
“It’s because she got everything first.”
“Like what?”
“Never you mind. Go get dressed for the ball.
Wear that beautiful sky blue taffeta dress you have, and tell me
all about it first thing in the morning.”
I hesitated leaving her alone, but she fell
asleep quickly so I stole out, leaving the door slightly ajar.
It took me several hours to prepare for the
grand occasion, and I was thrilled to see Richard waiting about for
me downstairs. Judith and Anna, along with their notable parents,
stood at the entrance to the Van Dorn castle and greeted every
guest that arrived by elegant carriage. Then each guest was whisked
into the ballroom where the orchestra was already playing away.
“You look stunning, my dear,” Richard said.
He placed my arm through his, then led me into the ballroom.
“There are so many people I don’t recognize,”
I said. Already there were at least a hundred or so guests, and
many more were filing in.
“I will leave it for Judith to introduce you
around. For now, dance with me.” Richard gracefully swept me across
the dance floor into a sensual waltz. We had become very good
dancers; we fit into one another like hand in glove.
“Will you be dancing with every beautiful
woman here tonight?”
“Only you and Judith, if she cares to.”
“Would you stay by my side, Richard, all
night? Don’t leave me alone with all these people I don’t know,” I
implored as we danced.
“You’re exaggerating. You know most of the
people here tonight.” He noticed my girlish pout and quickly agreed
not to leave my side, and to dance with me more than with
Judith.
“Poor Rachael, she is shut away in her rooms,
too tired to descend the grand staircase to come socialize with
everyone,” I said.
“She has grown large. Sterling is thrilled to
be expecting his first child. I don’t
blame him.”
“How is it that you and Judith never had any
children?”
“Judith has always feared childbirth. She
told me right from the start she never wanted to have children.
Besides, she is too old to have children now.”
“That is all right with you?” I questioned.
It didn’t seem natural for a woman not to want to give her husband
a child, especially a son to carry on the family name.
“I guess it has to be. However, my brother is
an exceptionally lucky man.”
I watched the way he gazed over at Sterling,
who stood in the entrance of the ballroom with a drink in hand,
scanning the room. I had always speculated that Richard’s brother
envied and admired his older brother. It was difficult to read
their relationship; it was just as complex as that of the two young
brothers I had known long ago.
After our dances, we sat and ate, then drank
endless glasses of dry champagne before he led me back for more
dancing. Richard whirled me around, and I loved the lightheaded
feeling the drinks gave me.
Through the smoky room, I tried to spot Sarah
and her newly-fiancé, and occasionally I thought I saw her through
the thick crowd of people. I still wasn’t sure who her future
husband was. So many men I had never seen before!
Richard and I were enjoying ourselves;
dancing, laughing - just the way we did when we were alone. Even
though we were surrounded by hundreds of people, his eyes stayed
locked onto mine, dazzled with delight at my radiant smile.
“You are so lovely, Lillian; you become
lovelier by the day. I am fortunate to have such a beautiful woman
in my arms,” he whispered in my ear. His revealing words gave me
tingles and melted my heart. I was lucky, I thought. I was a woman
now and loved without having to join him in his bed and feel
unclean. Our relationship was becoming a true fairytale in my eyes.
It took a long time, but I had finally had a man in my life who
loved me exclusively for who I was. However, when Judith found
herself in need of Richard, my daydream came to an abrupt end. I
was forced into sharing him with her.
“Come with me to greet our guests, Richard. I
shouldn’t be doing this alone,” she snapped, shooting me a look of
contempt. Judith’s professed fondness for me was wearing thin; she
seemed to be aware of Richard’s adoration of me. Although she held
her tongue, it was the fire in her eyes that betrayed her
insecurities. I figured she must have been used to her husband’s
many adulteries, or at the very least accepted them.
“Of course, my darling. You come too,
Lillian,” Richard said, taking us each on one arm, merrily leading
the way. We went in search of Sarah, who gracefully flew from one
table to the next, introducing the new man who was soon to be
joining the elite Van Dorn family. I assumed he must be well
educated, his family prominent, and his looks meeting the high
standards set in stone long ago. I wondered if Cousin Sarah was any
luckier than I was.
“She was just here a moment ago. Maybe they
went outside. Let’s look there,” Judith suggested.
The night was dewy, and the moon peeked
playfully in and out of the thin clouds that painted the sky. I
could have easily thought back to the nights when the moon
represented romance and new adventures, but I chose to think ahead
and ignore those frequent and painful memories of the past.
Up by the fountains we spotted a couple
standing in the shadows, and Judith hurried us along before they
made their way back inside, only to lose them in the midst of the
hundreds of guests. They were having a private moment, kissing
under the peek-a-boo moonlight by one of the ornate fountains when
we approached. Judith had no quandary barging in on their time
alone, but I lingered behind with a sense of fear that had swiftly
filled my being and left the hairs on the back of my neck standing
on edge.
“There you two are. Sarah, I would like to
introduce your fiancé to Richard, and…” she stopped and appeared
puzzled. Judith didn’t know what I was to the Van Dorn family. So
she said I was a friend of Richard’s. The moon had once again
tucked itself behind a cloud and I couldn’t make out the tall man’s
face.
Judith and Sarah shared a cordial kiss as
Richard and the man shook hands. I waited behind Richard for a
formal introduction. The moment he stepped aside, the moonlight
beamed into his brilliant blue eyes. I knew those eyes! Although he
was tall with exceptionally broad shoulders, although this man’s
hair was darker and tamer than I remembered, it was he, it had to
be!
My heart was in my throat as I extended my
trembling hand while Sarah properly introduced us. “This is my
fiancé, Doctor Heath Dalton. Heath, this is Lillian.” Sarah stopped
for a moment, then added, “I’m sorry, your last name?”
They all turned to me, waiting for my voice
to come forth. But I couldn’t speak. Heath stared at me with
unfamiliar eyes. He didn’t recognize me. He didn’t remember my
name. Heath didn’t know who I was!
“Arrington, this is Lillian Arrington,”
Richard spoke up with raised, curious brows.
“Pleased to meet you Miss Arrington,” Heath
said coolly in a deep, familiar voice. He pulled Sarah up close
against him and placed a teasing kiss on the soft spot of her
smooth neck - right in front of us. “What a lucky man I am.”
Judith was pleased with her favorite cousin’s
newfound happiness. “Indeed you are, Doctor. Come now, let’s go
inside for a toast to the happy couple, shall we,” Judith
suggested.
“Wonderful idea,” Richard said, nudging me
along. My feet remained frozen on the ground as if they were made
of stone. Tears that demanded an escape stung madly behind my eyes.
Richard noticed my fluster, and of course couldn’t understand what
the matter was. Sarah, Heath, and Judith made their way inside, not
turning back to see if we were following along with them.
“Lillian, what’s wrong? What has got you so
upset?”
Still I could not speak. Richard shook me out
of my daze and insisted I answer him.
“It’s him,” I finally managed to choke
out.
“Who?”
“Heath.”
“Sarah’s fiancé? What about him?”
Oh, if Richard only knew. The man I was born
to love had just appeared back into my life when I believed I would
never see him again. Just as I had locked the past away deep in the
shadows of my heart, here he was, opening up the memories, and they
came flooding out like a powerful, dangerous waterfall.
“You know him from somewhere? You have met
him before?” Richard asked, his eyes turning into small slits,
narrowing down onto me.
I wouldn’t answer.
“Lillian!”
“Yes, I know him!”
“Well, why didn’t you just say so?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I sighed. He
saw my tears, he felt me trembling.
“What happened between you two?”
“It was a long time ago. We were just
children,” I said while dabbing my eyes with the handkerchief he
offered.
“A childhood friend, is that all? You act as
if he was your ex-lover or something. You had me worried. Come,
let’s go inside and join in the celebration. You promised me the
night. I will hold you to it.”
* * *
For the next several hours Richard gave me
everything I had wanted - his time, his attention, romantic dances
- and all the while I continually turned and strained my neck to
see where Heath was, whom he was talking to, and if he was looking
my way. I watched Heath waltz with Sarah, gazing over to where he
held her so close, as his blue eyes drank her in. His nose often
lingered in the hair I thought was too yellow, like a canary, but
it was obvious that Heath thought she had the loveliest hair.
Between dances they ate and drank, and he stayed right by her side
as she led him around. He didn’t leave her for one minute. And he
didn’t look my way once.
“If you’re so preoccupied with him, why don’t
you ask to talk?” Richard wanted to know. He was fed up with my
erratic dancing.
“He doesn’t remember me,” I said flatly.
“Not remember you? Unthinkable! He is
probably preoccupied, that’s all. Perhaps tomorrow when most of the
guests leave. Then you two can catch up.”
“Maybe,” I mumbled.
“Have you had enough dancing? I know I have.
What do you say we go swimming?”
“Now? This late at night?”
“We’ll steal away. No one will know.”
“I didn’t bring my bathing attire.”
“So don’t wear any,” he teased.
“Oh, Richard, stop it,” I said, pushing him
away and right into the back of Sarah’s beloved husband to be.
“Pardon me, I’m sorry,” Richard said and
stepped aside. Then, to my utter astonishment he said, “Dr. Dalton,
may I have the pleasure of a dance with your beautiful Sarah?”
Heath agreed as any proper gentleman would,
and allowed Richard the dance. However, there was an expectation of
an exchange, and Heath knew it. He was a gentleman, he had to turn
to me and continue with the waltz!
I held my breath for what seemed like forever
for him to look at me and take me into his arms. And just when I
believed he was ready to acknowledge me, just when Richard winked
to indicate he had set the up reunion just perfectly, Rachael’s
personal maid, Maude, came rushing up to me. “Miss Lillian, Rachael
is calling for you!” she said exasperated and out of breath.
“Is there something wrong?”
“She says she thinks the baby is coming.”
“Did you tell Mrs. Van Dorn or Judith?”
“She requested only you,” she declared and
tugged on my sleeve. “We need to hurry.”
“I don’t understand. She needs a doctor.”
It was then that Heath stepped in like the
hero he always wanted to be. “I’m a doctor. Take me to
Rachael.”
We all rushed upstairs and bolted into the
room to see Rachael tossing and turning and moaning in agony. I
rushed to her side. “Is it really time?” I asked, wide-eyed.
“Lillian, the pain is terrible!” she
cried.
“I will get Sterling,” Richard announced and
hurried off. Sarah stood on the opposite side of the bed while
Heath rolled up his sleeves and prepared to deliver Rachael’s
baby.
“Oh, I can’t watch,” Sarah groaned, holding
her hand over her mouth. She quickly disappeared, leaving just
Heath and me to tend to Rachael.
The moment took me years back, though now I
was watching a grown man, a handsome, sophisticated, real doctor
perform the procedure. Heath was virtually a stranger, and if it
weren’t for those gorgeous blue eyes, I would have never believed
it was him. There was not one hair out of place, and he was so much
taller than I remembered. His chin boasted a cleft I didn’t recall.
Why had I forgotten so many of his features? I swore his vision
remained locked away in my mind so I would never forget.
Heath quickly took over and laid Rachael in a
position that women for thousands of years had assumed. “Your baby
is almost ready to be born. You can start pushing now,” Heath said
in a calm, deep, and assured voice that grabbed Rachael’s
attention. Then he turned to me for an instant and requested
blankets and a boiled knife.
“I will have Maude fetch those,” I said, and
ran out to the hall where she lingered. “Hurry, Maude, and tell
Sterling his child is coming!”
I ran back in and grabbed Rachael’s hand. I
had never witnessed a birth before, though I could never forget
Opal’s screams for mercy when she was delivering Elizabeth, Heath’s
baby sister. That was Heath’s first experience as a doctor and
certainly one that he couldn’t erase from his mind.