Blood and Loss (Cassandra Myles Witch Series) (12 page)

Chapter 12

I awoke sometime during the day in a panic. Lucius had his hand over my mouth. I was struggling under his weight. His lips touched my ear. “Calm down. Declan is talking to someone in the living room. I want to hear what they are saying. I am going to take my hand away. Please be quiet.”

He was holding me tightly to his chest. One arm around my waist
, the other dropped from my mouth. It was hard for me to hear what was being said, but Declan was clearly angry. “Quiet down. You’ll wake her and her bodyguard is likely listening already.”

“I don’t care. I wouldn’t be here if you would communicate with me.”

“It wasn’t time yet.” There was panic in his voice.

“Really, so when?”
The voice was gruff and angry.

“She gets her powers back
on Thursday.”

“I know you. You will put this off as long as you can. You screwed this up. You got too involved with this woman. I knew I should have made your brother take this assignment.”

“Cassandra is smart. She would have seen my brother for the asshole he is. You’re screwing it up being here. That corpse can hear a pin drop from a mile away.”

“Her bodyguard is a v
ampire. He is probably in one of those daytime sleeping trances.”

“If you entered the real world more of
ten, you would know that when a vampire attains a certain age, he isn’t confined to all those rules.”

“Don’t be a smart-ass
, son. I don’t leave because the pack needs me there. I need you to do what you came here for.”

“I will.”
Declan was silent for a long time. “I don’t like it, but I will.”

“I’ll give you to the end of the week to do
what you know needs to be done. I am not losing this opportunity because you have fallen for a human.”

“I won’t let you down. She is going to hate me, but I know what I must do.”

The front door opened and slammed shut. I waited for Declan to go back to his room. “What the hell is going on?” I hissed.

“You have not been sleeping long. We will confront Declan when you wake up, I promise.”

I expected tears to come. They didn’t. I was too shocked. If I had to rely on anyone above all else
, I would have said it was Declan. Even above Quintus. Was I blinded by prejudice? Even after all the things Quintus had done for me, I still couldn’t totally trust him and now the one person I did was the one who betrayed me.

Lucius didn’t say anything
; he just pulled me closer. He stroked my hair and made soothing noises. “Go back to sleep, Cass. We will confront Declan in the morning. I promise I will get you your answers.”

I wanted to argue
, but the adrenaline from waking up confined began to drain. I was getting drowsy and fell back asleep.

I woke up snuggled into Lucius
’ chest. His smooth skin felt good against my cheek. I moved in closer, then realized what I was doing. My eyes flew open.

“
Morning Goldilocks; didn’t take you for a cuddler.”

“I can’t help how I sleep
. What is your excuse? You were clearly awake.”

“I wanted to move
, but your big head was on my arm and you were drooling.”

“You are not sleeping in my bed tonight.”

He leaned in and nuzzled my neck. His lips whispered up my neck to my ear. “What’s the matter, you don’t trust yourself?”

Oh
, God I hated myself, but I wanted him so bad right then. My hormones were out of control. I needed a release. “Oh, I am not worried about me. It’s you who keeps coming after me.”

Then everything from the night before came flooding back. Declan and his betrayal. It was like a punch in the gut. I needed to know the truth, but I didn’t want to. Ignorance is bliss. I must have looked pretty bad, because Lucius leaned into me and gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. “We will figure this out. Sometimes things seem worse than they are.”

I could tell he didn’t believe that any more than I did, but the effort was appreciated. “Come on, this isn’t going to get any easier. I just want it over with.”

Declan was pacing in my s
mall kitchen. He looked frantic, like a caged animal. He had always been my rock and to see him on the edge of losing it made me even more scared.

“Declan
, you have to tell me what is going on.”

He looked at me like he was surprised to see me in my own kitchen.
He ran his hands constantly though his hair. “Don’t push me, sweets. Just don’t.” It wasn’t a command, but a plea.

“Really? You think that is going to work. I just say
‘golly gee, Declan, I’m sorry. I won’t bug you anymore.’”

“I am losing it. Please, I need to think.” He looked so vulnerable. I wanted to tell him everything was okay, even though it clearly was anything but. Lucius squeezed my shoulder as if he could feel me softening.

“No, you need to spill
. Who was here today?”

“Just a friend.”

“You always call your friends ‘Father’?”

“Fine. My dad was here. We don’t get along. I don’t want to talk about it.” His eyes darted around the kitchen, looking for an escape.

“
Tough shit. I heard you talking about me. Please just explain. We can work through this, but you have to tell me the truth.”

He screamed in anger. “I can’t take this anymore
!” He was wild looking. He hit the toaster, making a large dent. A protective arm looped around my waist.

I backed up into Lucius “Calm down
. You’re scaring her.”

I thought he would be mad, but he looked on the verge of tears. “You’ll hate me.”

I was conflicted. The part that loved Declan was dying, seeing him so upset. The part that hated being lied to was seething mad. “I’ll hate you more if you don’t tell me the truth. I love you. We can work this out.”

“Can’t you trust that I would never hurt you and I have good reasons for what I am
doing?”

“I want to
, Declan, but you’re scaring me and I need to know what’s going on.”

“Te
ll her what you are,” Lucius rumbled over my head.

He
shook his head. “You tell her. I am sure you are dying to.”

“She deserves to hear it from you.”
He released me and launched himself at Declan, who didn’t even try to defend himself. Grabbing him by the neck, he lifted him off the ground, shaking him before repeatedly slamming his head into the wall. Declan just glared at him, taking hit after hit. He didn’t even fight back. Why was he doing this, either of them?

“Lucius
, please, you’re hurting him.” I wanted answers, but I couldn’t let him hurt Declan.

Lucius
let Declan’s feet reach the floor, but didn’t let go of his neck. Instead, he leaned in and whispered into his ear. Declan’s face changed from defiance to hurt. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. I wanted to wrap my arms around him. I wanted to tell him we could work out anything together. Everything was falling apart.

Lucius stepped back to my side
, pulling me against him. Declan fell to the ground, screaming in pain. I tried to run to him, but my bodyguard held me back. A brittle snapping noise echoed around my small kitchen as Declan twisted and contorted in ways that shouldn’t be possible. It was horrific to watch. Bones snapped and reformed. Skin stretched and shrunk. I thought he must be dying. How could this be happening? Just when I couldn’t stand it anymore, a silver light flashed and when it went out, a beautiful giant silver wolf lay on my kitchen floor.

The lush full coat of the creature on my floor look
ed so soft I wanted to touch it. I looked him in the eye to see if there was any of my Declan in this wild animal. I thought I saw a glimmer looking back, then he started to growl. I was pretty sure it was aimed at Lucius. His hackles were raised and his lips were pulled back to reveal long sharp white teeth. In a flash, the wolf lunged towards us. Lucius had me in his arms and out the door. We were out of my neighborhood before I could process what was going on.

He
put me down and whipped out his cell phone. By the time he was off, my anger had built to a level that I didn’t care who had heard or seen me vent.

“You knew and didn’t tell me. What else are you keeping from me?”
He tried to pull me to him and I backed away from his grasp.

“I
only found out today when his father showed up. He was definitely a wolf. It didn’t take too much to figure out Declan was too. He must have some sort of spell on him to cloak his smell. I can scent a werewolf from miles away and Declan never smelled like anything other than that nauseating cologne he wears.”

“
So I am an idiot. I didn’t sense a spell. I didn’t know my best friend was a werewolf. I didn’t know Quintus was some perv who gets his jollies watching me play dress up. I didn’t know you were some hard-core leather dom. My character judgment is just magnificent.” I was yelling so loud I hurt my throat.

“You are being a little hard on yourself.”
Lucius’ calm demeanour was pissing me off even more.

“Really? No wonder no one ever takes me seriously. I walk around seeing what I want. Fuck me.”

He reached out one more time and I just glared at him. His arms fell to his sides. “Hit me.”

“What?”

“You need to get that anger out and we don’t have time for therapy. Hit me. You can’t harm me.”

“Fine, if you want to be a martyr for all those other assholes in my life.” I punched
him as hard as I could and he didn’t even flinch. I felt silly and that made me feel even madder. So I hit him some more until I couldn’t stand the pain in my hands. Then I slapped him until I couldn’t breathe. Cursing and yelling, and then I was done. I collapsed on the street and Lucius picked me up. Life sucked and I just wanted to give it the finger and go to bed.

I was exhausted. “I have
to take you home now, Cass. Declan should be long gone.” He put me down and took my hand. “We’ll walk home. It will do you some good.”

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, but if I was human, that punch to the ribs might have sent me to the hospital.”

“Stop trying to cheer me up.”

“Sorry. How could I be so callous?”

I stopped walking.
“What did you say to make him change?”

“I told him that we made love all night long. That I tasted every sweet crevice of your body and when we were exhausted and sated you curled up in my arms and I sang you to sleep.”

I blushed instantly. If only I could keep myself from picturing doing exactly that. “How did you know that would do it?”

“Wolves are very territorial over their mates.”

“He is not my mate.”

“Clearly
, he disagrees.”

Chapter 13

Declan was not there when we came home. It felt odd to think we would never live together anymore. It just wasn’t fair. I didn’t deserve to have someone else I loved leave me. He had been in my life for five years.

For the next three days
, I walked around the house like a zombie. Lucius made me eat at least once a day. He made me tea and even a batch of cookies. If I hadn’t been so sad I might have been more surprised at this caring domestic side of my bodyguard, but I was in my own little world.

On the third day
, he wrinkled his nose and told me to take a shower or I would be sleeping on the floor. I didn’t want to be alone, so I complied. Lucius took to the habit of holding me most of the night and it felt good. I didn’t want to give that up yet.

Quintus called several times, but I never came to the phone. I just didn’t want to talk about it.
I felt foolish. I felt betrayed. It was my fault for being so trusting. I hadn’t noticed things I should have. I knew I had to bring myself out of my funk. I was starting to enjoy it a little too much. Life was simple when everything was taken care of. Not since before my parents died did I have someone who took care of me like this.

The night before my graduation, Lucius had the lecture look on his face. I knew he was going to tell me to snap out of it. I was going to tell him he was right. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to spoil his fun, or mine when I got to se
e the look on his face after I agreed with him.

We lay in bed together like an old married couple
, both of us reading and listening to my clock radio. When he put his book down, I tried not to smile. “Please snap out of this, Cass. You graduate tomorrow and you deserve to enjoy it.”

“You’re right. I do deserve that and I will.”
I was proud of myself for keeping a straight face.

H
e had that puzzled/suspicious look on his face. “Good. I am glad.”

Then I couldn’t hold it back. I laughed so hard I stopped making no
ise and just laid there with my mouth open struggling for breath. To Lucius, I must have looked like I had lost my mind, but I always enjoyed a good laugh at the strangest things. If something struck me funny, I saw no reason to hold back. Life is too short.

“What is so funny? Why are you laughing at me? It isn’t the way you should treat someone who has had to put up with you these last few days.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just that I knew I was going to get a lecture tonight and I already decided you were right. So when you did actually do it, well, it struck me as funny.”

“So you already had our conversation in your head and decided I was right?”

“Yes, I have moped about and decided I have wasted enough energy pining over what Declan did and what he didn’t do. I am getting my magic back tomorrow. Nothing trumps that.”

“So even though you already had this conversation in your head, the bottom line is I was right.”

“Yes, oh wise vampire. Now enjoy the afterglow, because it may never happen again.”

“Then enjoy it
. I shall.”

I felt my muscles relax for the first time since Declan had left. I didn’t realize how tense I was. When I turned over
, Lucius wrapped his arms around me. I didn’t know what he wanted from me. I knew he wanted to have sex with me, but anything else remained to be seen. Lucius was the full package and I felt lucky to have him in my life.

“Lucius, I want to thank-you for the past few days. You really took care of me. If someone had told me a week ago you would be making me supper and baking me cookies
, I would have laughed in their face.”

“I’ve been thinking about that. I have these feelings for you that I can’t explain. I have always admired you and I thought you were beautiful, but since Quintus rescinded his order to keep you at arm’s length
, my feelings for you have deepened.”

I turned around so we faced each
other. I kissed him. It was brazen and out of character, but it felt right. His lips were soft and firm. I didn’t let it go on too long before I broke it off. “I care about you too. I really needed someone and you were there.” I rolled back over and hugged his massive arm. “I want to make it clear that I want you. I just have so much on my mind tonight.”

He kissed the top of my head. “
I will be here.”

I fell into a peaceful sleep. I slept right through undisturbed. The next day seemed to go just as smoothly. I read and relaxed. Lucius and I went for a walk. Then I pampered myself with an extra-long bath. In no time, I was dressing to go.

The grey Chanel pencil dress Quintus bought me was perfect for my graduation.
It was grey, the color for a novice, and it skimmed every curve I had. I looked damn hot. Quintus was no slouch when it came to picking clothes that fit a woman’s body. I guess if he got some perverse joy out of me trying on clothes, it didn’t hurt anything.

Lucius came out of th
e bathroom dressed in a charcoal suit. He had on an earthy musk cologne that made me want to skip everything and spend the night in bed. Every man looks better in a suit, but Lucius’ pale skin and blue eyes were set off by the dark color. The tailoring showed off every part of his perfect hard body. He caught me staring at him. I blushed, but didn’t look away. The scene felt very domestic.

He took my wrap from the couch and placed it around my shoulders. “You
look stunning,” He leaned forward and smelled my neck. I knew he didn’t have to do this. “And you smell delicious.” Our lips were almost touching. He was going to kiss me. Then he turned his head to the door. “Quintus is here; we should go.”

“
You and that super hearing. You’re like a dog.” I was denied again.