Billow (15 page)

"When they went to clean up the scene at the school, the Aquidae were badly torn up."

I didn't confirm or deny it.

Beautiful hands suddenly splayed on my bed.

"Why did you run toward them, Kendra?" His low voice was quiet. Insistent.

I forced myself to meet his gaze. "To protect Aubrey and Alex."

"They hadn't spotted you. They were far enough away that the three of you could've simply left."

How could I explain it? The powerful, furious need that coursed through my veins.

During those moments, everything disappeared. I didn't have to hide pain and fear. Didn't have to feel the constant desperation of a life that spun out of control the moment I turned seventeen.

"They're eliminated. No longer a threat." My tone was wooden. "All that counts is the result. Does it really matter why I did it?"

Dark, velvet eyes studied me and I turned away.

"The why always matters," he said softly.

A knock came at the door. Tristan opened it and my grandmother walked in.

The temperature in the room dropped at least twenty degrees.

Rhian barely spared me a glance. Jeeves followed her in, his distinguished features easing with relief when he saw me sitting up.

"
Sondaleur
." A broad smile flashed across his face.

"Hey, Jeeves."

"Prince Belicoux." Rhian's tone was as frosty as her expression. "I trust the
sondaleur
's brain is still functioning, in spite of what her recent actions would have us believe."

The briefest hint of amusement flickered across Tristan's face. "Yes, Governor. I believe she's more than ready to explain herself."

Rhian finally turned to me and I almost flinched. Steel power and authority emanated off her like a palpable force and I realized just how pissed off she was.

"I'd like to speak to her alone."

Jeeves and Tristan left. A thick silence fell.

If my grandmother wanted to make me feel like a little kid, she was doing a hell of a job.

She sat and the iron fell away from her expression.

"Fully utilizing the strengths of your friends and gardinels would've been a smarter way to handle it."

I startled. She wasn't going to lecture me?

Weariness lined her face. "Do you think this is an effective way to lead?"

"I tried to protect the most vulnerable," I said carefully. "I involved them in the planning. They weren't supposed to be part of the execution."

"But they didn't listen to you."

Just being reminded of it made me irritable.

"I did the best I could."

"I know," she said, surprising me again. "I'd like to know why you didn't share your plan with others."

"Ian came to me as a friend —"

"Mr. MacAllister currently resides in the Royal Gardens under the direct protection of myself and Prince Belicoux." Hazel eyes pierced through me. "Didn't you think we're also interested in putting an end to the auction? That perhaps working together with the full resources we had available would be useful?"

She waited for an answer I wasn't willing to give.

"We're working on finding this nix you met," she finally said. "It seems he has disappeared."

My eyes shot to her. "But we have his cell number. We can track —"

"Ms. Rossay attempted it early this morning. The phone was found abandoned and tied to an untraceable account. Prince Belicoux sent out gardinels to monitor Lyondale, including the location you went to last night. But as of now, there's no sign of this nix, Gilroy."

Once again, control was yanked away from me.

Gilroy slipped through our grasp and now had the upper hand. He knew what I was doing when I called his number.

I should've followed him. Planned a back-up method of tracking him.

"The Healer said you'll be released later today and your lesson with Nexa has been rescheduled to tomorrow. Augustin will also need to debrief you in the morning."

That meant she was continuing the investigation. Just because we couldn't locate Gilroy didn't mean we lost him.

We'd acquired new information about Aquidae movement in Lyondale. If we focused on the kidnappings and how they were occurring, it could lead us to Callan and the auction.

But Rhian was right. I couldn't do this without the aid of the Governing House and the gardinels.

"I want to be involved." I met her gaze. "I want to find and shut down this auction."

For a long moment she didn't say anything. "Does that mean you'll work with me and Prince Belicoux to accomplish it?"

Working with Tristan would be difficult. Spending time with dear grandmother was also no walk in the park.

But if that's what it took to get to the Aquidae, I'd do it. I'd just have to be stronger. More focused.

I nodded and caught the barest trace of relief flash through her eyes.

She stood. "Very well. You can go over everything with Augustin tomorrow. Your friends are waiting to speak to you."

She politely nodded to Chloe and Aubrey as she exited.

Aubrey placed a dark blue iris on my lap, the petal's deep color a striking contrast to the white sheets.

"Julian was waiting to see you, but he had to leave. Some chevalier thing got called in."

I picked up the flower and placed it on the side table. It brightened up the room a little.

"I didn't want you to get hurt." Aubrey sat, her face miserable. Chloe stayed near the window.

"It was just a broken bone, Aub."

Her eyes widened. "Are you kidding me? That bone was almost coming out of  —"

"Did you guys get in trouble?" It was one thing to say broken bone. A whole other thing to actually go into detail.

She shrugged. "Alex has to clean out Training Center mat rooms for the next month and I have to put in extra hours at the Tech Department."

If Headmaster Pelletier thought that was punishment for Aubrey, he really didn't know anything about her.

And since Alex already spent most of his time at the Training Center, it wasn't that big of a deal to wipe down mats for a month.

Though it was definitely a bit more smelly.

Relieved, I turned to Chloe. A scowl darkened her face.

"Chloe?" I asked, hesitant.

"You come up with a scheme to help Ian and you don't tell me anything about it." Her voice was bitter. "Great."

"That's not how it was." Aubrey sounded tired.

"Kendra, why didn't you tell me you were planning this?" Hurt flickered across Chloe's face.

Confused, I stared at her. "We wanted to protect you. You could've been in trouble or gotten hurt —"

"You could say the same thing about Aubrey. She's an ondine, too."

"Believe me," I answered wryly. "If I had a choice, I wouldn't have wanted her to know, either."

Aubrey made a face. But instead of lightening up, Chloe's mouth tightened into a straight line.

Why was she so upset? I unfiltered my Virtue and attempted to reach into her.

After last night, even this small amount of magic hurt. I caught the faintest hint of anger and hurt before she furiously waved her arms.

"Stop that. You don't trust me enough that you have to use your Virtue on me?"

I needed to work on how transparent my face was.

"Look, it's not that big a deal. Aubrey and Alex happened to be there and —"

"Whatever." She cut me off. "I got the message."

She stalked out of the room and my mouth dropped open.

Perplexed, I stared at the empty doorway for a few seconds.

"What just happened?"

Aubrey gave a deep exhale. "We should've told her, Kendra."

No. We did the right thing.

Chloe's life was more important than getting her involved in this. Besides, it wasn't as if I'd lied to her. I just didn't tell her what I was doing.

Why didn't you talk to me? Don't you trust me?

More than what I did, the fact I hadn't talked to Tristan seemed to bother him the most. It was the same for Rhian. And now, Chloe.

"Hey," I said as casually as possible. "Why did you call Prince Belicoux?"

"He gave me his number a few days ago for security reasons. Said if anything happened, I should call him."

He'd also gone to Aubrey last spring when I took off after Ryder. He trusted her judgment.

He knew we were up to something.

He'd noticed our visits to the Governing House. That's why Garreth watched Aubrey like a hawk and gardinel protection on Ian increased.

Guess our covert operation wasn't as covert as I'd thought it was.

"He's not my gardinel anymore, you know," I muttered.

She arched a delicate brow. "Would it have been better if I called Gabe or the Governor?"

I rolled my eyes and changed the topic. But as I chatted with her, the doubts continued to flow.

If Tristan knew we were up to something, why didn't he say anything? Had he been waiting for me to go to him?

And how did I screw things up with Chloe? I'd caused that look in her eyes. A look I hated seeing.

I thought I did what was right as the
sondaleur
.

Yet I couldn't shake the empty ache I'd somehow disappointed everyone again.

 ***

Fist slammed against the punching bag.

Chloe didn't show up for dinner. She obviously wasn't interested in seeing me.

I put my entire body behind a right hook as the bag swung back.

I'd gotten into plenty of fights in my life, but not with a friend. Mainly because I'd never had friends like Chloe and Aubrey.

Left hook.

I felt stupid, like I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Weren't friends supposed to protect each other?

Right roundhouse.

Sweat dripped off my nose and hot waves of frustration coursed through me. Getting into fights where you knew the opponent was your enemy was easy. That's why I liked sparring or fighting Aquidae. It was clear what the objective was.

Left roundhouse.

Pain flared up my tender leg. The Healer warned me to take it easy when I left the clinic a few hours ago.

But I didn't care. I welcomed the bite.

Was I upset that Chloe was hurt? Or that I was the one who caused it?

I was only trying to prevent what happened to Ryder. But I screwed it up again.

Twisting my torso, I hammered my fist forward.

Because of the selkies in the Training Center tonight, I held my Virtue firmly in check. Restraining it left me agitated, the power rumbling inside me like a caged animal.

"Who pissed you off?"

I spun around in a kick. Foot struck the bag with a resounding thump.

"Don't know what you're talking about." I pumped my arms in a series of hard jabs. "Just getting in a workout."

Julian sauntered over and grabbed the bag as it swung back.

"You're breaking my rhythm," I growled.

Eyes twinkled with amusement. "Gardinels not giving you enough satisfaction?"

Yeah
.
But I wasn't going to tell him that.

"I'm improving, LeVeq. There are no problems with the gardinels."

"Then why all the frustration?"

Giving up, I removed my protective gloves and sat on the mat. "I don't understand half the things that go on around here."

"You mean you don't understand Chloe," he corrected. "Heard about what happened."

How did he get his information so fast?

"Do you spend all your time finding out about me?" I said, irritated.

He bent his knees so our eyes were on the same level. "Do you spend all your time avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding anything," I said automatically.

"So what happened?"

For a few moments, I didn't answer. A part of it was I didn't want to talk about it. But the other reason was I wasn't sure how to talk about it.

He waited until I gave a resigned sigh. "I was trying to protect her."

Julian sat next to me. "By not telling her. Kind of like how you didn't tell me."

I rubbed my face. Was he going to start on me, too?

"It had nothing to do with you, LeVeq."

"Maybe. Maybe not," he said easily. "Maybe you're just over-thinking things, sweet iris."

"What do you mean?"

"How does Chloe feel?"

I remembered the look on her face at the clinic and the traces of raw emotions.

"Angry." My eyes focused on the mat. I felt a little weird telling him this. "Hurt."

"And you're taking it out on this poor punching bag. Thinking about how much you suck at being a friend." His voice softened. "How you only wanted to do something right, but you messed it up."

I stiffened. Sometimes the things Julian said startled me at the most unexpected moments. Almost as if he could see through me.

"You should focus on what you can do next. It doesn't really matter why Chloe feels hurt. Point is, she does. So deal with it."

Maybe he was right. Doubting whether or not I'd ever be a decent friend wasn't going to change anything.

"Should I apologize?"

"Do you have something to apologize for?"

She'd lost her mother. Lived without her father. Broken up with Cam. And I'd somehow made Chloe feel more alone.

I still thought I'd made the right decision by not telling her, but I never intended for her to feel that way.

"I didn't want her to feel left out," I muttered.

He leaned back on his arms. "Then you should tell her that."

Although I wanted to strangle Julian most of the time, there were moments when it was easy to be with him. Like now.

He didn't ask why. He saw and acted. Straight and simple. He trusted his instincts and there was a freedom in how he unrepentantly lived life.

He was right. Apologizing to Chloe was the first thing I should do.

But I couldn't help feeling unsettled. That somehow my life wasn't black and white anymore.

The why always matters
.

I quickly pushed the echo of that low voice out of my head.

Julian coughed and gave me a pointed look.

Oh, for crying out loud.

I snorted. "I'm not apologizing to you. You're not even supposed to know about Ian."

He grinned. "You don't have to apologize if you tell me how much the gardinels suck and how my training is so much more kick-ass."