Billow (12 page)

No.

Nails painfully dug into my palms.

I had to control it. Get a handle on it.

Just breathe
.

I focused on every inhale, every exhale, until the coil of apprehension abated.

"You may need magic." Ewan's tone softened. "But you must control how you use it. It's always a balance. Like how you balance the
bo
."

With a light kick, his staff came off the mat and sailed into the air. He smoothly caught it. "You have no right to fight until you understand this."

Humiliation cut through the cloud of panic and the razor-sharp edges of anger took its place.

I'd fought to be in this program. Proved myself worthy of being an elite.

How dare he tell me I didn't have the right?

"I have every right to fight, Ewan. And I have every right to use my Virtue —"

"Irisavie." Garreth glared. "In this gym, you will show Gardinel Vellucar the respect he is due. Now sit out for the remainder of class."

A flush crept up my cheeks, but I stalked over to the bleachers with my chin up.

I didn't do anything wrong. I used my Virtue for strength and speed. It made me a better fighter.

Wasn't that the whole point of training?

Now that I knew what the consequences were, it was a simple matter of restraining myself the next time.

Furious, I watched them finish up the rest of class. I shouldn't have to sit out.

But as I observed the selkies' stoic expressions, another worry pushed its way to the front.

I'd almost lost control again. Almost let panic and anxiety overtake me in front of everyone. I couldn't let that happen.

Class concluded and I grabbed my things. What I did was going to spread like wildfire through the Training Center and I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

Just as I reached the double-doors, Garreth's gravelly voice called out. "Irisavie."

He strode over. "This is the second time you've shown up with an injury."

Today was turning out to be an epic fail in every way.

"I didn't have time to get it healed before class," I answered stiffly.

"Make time," he growled. "You need to be in top-shape to complete elite training. Show some respect for what you're doing."

I struggled to push back my anger at that statement.

I didn't want to piss Garreth off any further. He was a gardinel, the best of the best. Someone who demanded perfection and excellence in his class.

If I didn't watch it, I'd spend the rest of the year sitting out on the sidelines. He might even decide to kick me out of the program.

And he'd report my behavior to a certain prince I was desperately trying to keep out of my life.

"I do respect what we're doing," I retorted. That still came out a little rude. "Um…sir."

Better.

He crossed his arms and eyed me for a few moments.

"You sure have a strange way of showing it," he said. "Go to the Healer and take care of that wrist immediately. Is that clear?"

I nodded. As I walked out, I made sure to slam the doors shut a little harder than usual.

TEN

Weak illumination from two street lamps cast a pattern of light and shadow across the concrete. Used only for kitchen deliveries, the narrow street behind Lyondale's restaurant row was quiet and empty at this time of night.

I parked next to Silk's back exit and did an initial sweep with magic.

No Aquidae. Only a few intoxicated humans weaving in and out of the many upscale bars and restaurants in the area.

Aubrey's friend, Todd, would text me soon. According to him, Gilroy usually showed up around midnight.

A glance at the dashboard clock established there was another half hour to go.

Nothing left to do but wait.

Leaning back, I tried to get comfortable in the unfamiliar seat. Aubrey, Alex, and I met with Ian every evening to work out details. When I mentioned driving to Lyondale in my car, Alex had stared at me like my hair was on fire. He'd insisted I borrow his father's Honda instead.

I caught glimpses of Tristan at the Governing House during our visits, but managed to avoid direct contact. I convinced myself it was because I didn't want him to suspect what we were doing.

But a part of me knew I was avoiding him. It was too dangerous to talk. Too risky to be close.

Exhausted, I shut my eyes and willed myself to relax for a few minutes.

The constant lack of sleep was wearing me down. And despite all the effort, I had nothing to show for it. Other than waking up to a pounding headache and a body contorted into strange positions, no progress was made on the black dream.

Maybe my instincts were wrong. Maybe Nexa was right and it was simply a nightmare.

But I couldn't let it go. There was something behind that choking darkness.

And I wasn't giving up just yet.

Elite training only added to the fatigue. Restraining my Virtue limited my abilities and the gardinels knocked me down hard in every class.

A few times I'd even caught the other elites and observers looking at me as if I shouldn't be there. If I were allowed to fully use my Virtue, I wouldn't look like such an idiot all the time.

Tonight was important and I was determined to get it right. This was my plan, my execution. If everything went off without a hitch, I'd produce actual results.

At the sudden knock, I jerked. Head slammed against the ceiling. Ouch.

Alex peered through the passenger side window and climbed into the car.

"What—" Incredulous, I stared at him. "What are you doing here?"

He comfortably settled into the seat. "You didn't expect us to stay at Haverleau, did you?"

"Of course I did!" I snapped. "You can't…wait, what do you mean us?"

There was no other vehicle on the street.

God, I must really be out of it. He'd somehow gotten the jump on me.

He shrugged. "I'm here with Aubrey."

"What?" My voice shot up several decibels.

He winced. "She's around the corner in her car. Ian also wanted to come, but the gardinels were watching him too closely. Would've gotten here sooner, but Aub had a hard time getting away from Garreth."

Fear drove fast and furious into my stomach and Virtue did another sweep of the area. Still no Aquidae.

But I now sensed an elemental on the next street over with distinct traces of anxiety, worry, and resolve.

I quickly pulled in the magic so my aura didn't give us away.

What were they thinking? Alex didn't know what Aquidae were capable of. But Aubrey did. She was with me at the Club Axis attack last spring.

I shot Alex a scathing look that should've sent him crawling into a hole. "Go back there and get both your asses straight home."

"No. I want to talk to you first."

He wanted to talk? Fine.

"How about we start with why an elite was idiotic enough to bring a Redavi ondine to Lyondale at night?"

He leaned back, completely immune to the provocation. "Talking about yourself?"

I clenched my teeth. Kicking his ass could wait until after he got Aubrey safely back.

"Are you going to listen?" He smoothed back a strand of dirty blonde hair escaping his ponytail. "Because I'm not leaving this car until you do. It's cold out."

It was like ripping off a Band-Aid. Best to get it over with. He took my silence as acquiescence.

"Now I know you've been going through some rough shit over the past few months," he said evenly. "I get it. After everything you've been through as
sondaleur
and all. And I get you don't really want to talk about it. Takes time to deal, you know?"

I held the steering wheel to keep my hands from shaking.

"But here's the thing. At some point, you're gonna have to start dealing with it. Aub and I came 'cause we're worried about you. We don't want you here alone. It's what friends do."

Why was is it so hard for them to understand?

"And friends protect their friends, which is what
I'm
trying to do. You can't be here."

"Don't you think we also have a right to protect you?" he asked quietly.

No. Because someone already did that and I lived with the consequences of it every day.

What if the next broken body was Alex? Aubrey?

Pulse accelerated and I struggled to control the fear clawing up my stomach.

"You didn't see him." I gripped the wheel tighter. "You didn't see what happened to Ryder."

He didn't answer for a few moments.

"No, I didn't. But I think you've forgotten we're not Ryder, either."

It didn't change anything. They were the only real friends I ever had. No matter what it took, I wasn't going to let them get hurt.

Focus
.

I took a deep breath and turned to face his steady brown eyes.

"Let us help."

"You already did." My voice didn't betray anything. "Both of you helped plan this. You lent me this car. Aubrey put up the funds."

He raised his brow. "Lending you this car doesn't count as helping. It was more like public service. If you drove your car, the noise would wake up all of Haverleau."

"It's not that bad —"

"Yeah, if you want to be as obvious as a rhinoceros."

I gave a pointed look at his lime-green coat and bright maroon sweater.

Talk about burning my retinas. "Pot calling kettle."

He glanced at himself. "It's seasonal. I look Christmasy."

Shaking my head, I looked out the window at the grey, desolate street. The short stretch of road only served one purpose.

Like me.

A prophecy had shoved me into a position that now defined my life and affected every person near me.

Being the
sondaleur
was what made them vulnerable. Which meant it was my responsibility to keep them safe, regardless of the situation.

I shut my eyes. "You're pissing me off, Girard."

"I know," he said serenely. "I don't really care."

There was nothing else I could do. Unless I physically restrained him and Aubrey and drove them back myself, they weren't going anywhere.

I'd just have to deal with it. Be extra-sharp. Not make another mistake.

"Your one and only job is to protect her." Opening my eyes, I rubbed my hands to hide trembling fingers. "If something happens, I can take care of myself, but she'll be defenseless. First priority is to get her out safely."

"Okay." He paused. "I should probably mention we're going to be watching the front door of the bar."

Right. Because I didn't have enough stress for one night.

I sighed. "And why are you doing that?"

"To make sure Gilroy leaves. He may pull something at the last moment. We want to make sure you're not caught by surprise. Wait until I text you the all-clear before heading out."

It was actually a good point. And it might be safer for them to stay in the bar's main parking lot. Its steady level of activity would provide better cover.

"Fine," I conceded. "But meet me back here once I'm done."

He nodded. "We'll drive around."

We got out of the car and headed for the Lexus. The knot of tension in my stomach grew. Alex and Aubrey out here in the open…

And then it hit me.

I swore. "You don't have a weapon."

He flipped open the side of his coat. "I came prepared."

My jaw dropped. A genuine
kouperet
hung from a holster around his waist.

Alex had a unique talent for acquiring things others couldn't, which was why he always got the alcohol and other contraband for parties. But this was on a whole other level.

He gave a small smile at my expression. "Connections, Irisavie," he said lightly as we rounded the corner. "It's all about the connections."

Aubrey leaned against the hood of her car with arms crossed. Stubborn determination radiated off every inch of her tensed body.

I marched up and gave her my fiercest glare. She scowled right back.

"You're going to remain in the car and keep the engine running." It'd cut down on the glow of her aura and act as a small form of protection. "If anything happens, drive away as fast as possible. No waiting. No trying to get to me. Nothing."

"You can't expect —"

"Listen." I leaned in and lowered my voice. "He's here to protect you. Think about what could happen if you put yourself at risk."

Her mouth tightened, but I knew she understood. If she wanted Alex to stay safe, she had to do the same.

My phone beeped and I opened the text message.

he's here. meet @ back door in 5 min

Showtime.

Alex and I exchanged a look before he climbed into the car with Aubrey. His solemn expression and sharp eyes didn't provide much reassurance.

Shoving back the stifling anxiety, I waited until they drove off then returned to Silk's exit. I had to get my head in the game. The quicker I took care of this, the quicker I could make sure they were safe.

The door opened and a guy in his mid-twenties stuck his head out.

"Hey. You Kendra?"

I'd expected a computer nerd but Todd was built more like a bouncer. Or a bodybuilder.

Bleached-blonde hair shorn close to his head and bottom lip pierced with a silver stud. Colorful tattoos decorated his neck and hands.

"Yeah."

"Come on."

I followed him through a dark storage room leading out to a short hallway.

"The guy you're looking for just started his first drink," he informed me as we walked. "Usually hangs out for an hour watching the action before getting up to make his move on a girl."

Interesting. So Gilroy needed a few drinks before approaching someone.

"Anything else?"

He considered. "He has lousy taste in beer."

I liked Todd already. "Thanks for letting me in."

He gave a slightly crooked grin. The scary fighter look faded a bit, revealing a touch of geekiness.

"Anything for a friend of Redgrrl."