Between Friends (24 page)

I feel myself stop breathing and a
tingling sensation trickle up my spine. The look of disbelief on
Ben’s face only solidifies Steven has crossed his personal line of
manhood. Steven’s bold and unyielding response must be a first in
the life and times of Ben, who isn’t used to anyone challenging him
or rejecting him - Ever.

Ben clenches his jaw and clears his
throat. For once he is speechless. I can’t help but feel like it
serves him right, especially if he thought waving Stephanie in
front of my face was a good idea. Well ha… two can play at this
game. I will show him a thing or two about rubbing something in
someone’s face.

“
I could use another
drink.” I smile.

I don’t dare look back, but I
internally grin as I escort Steven up to the bar. I know I am
acting juvenile and ridiculous, but he has crossed the line. Ben
needs to respect my wishes about us being over. Besides, I am not
the one who slept with one of our mutual friends and kept it a
secret like he did. I justify my actions, and think I am not being
mean or vindictive. I am just not allowing myself to get sucked in
by Ben.

“
Two vodka waters” Steven
orders as soon as we hit the edge of the bar. He takes a deep
breath and says, “So do you think we could carry this little thing
we got between us back in Chicago?”

“
Sure.” I say, even though
I am not sure what I want.

“
Good.” Steven says with a
glimmer in his eyes.

He passes me my drink and we clink our
glasses taking a long uncomfortable sip together. Steven wraps his
arm around my lower back and grazes my behind in the process. He
hugs me close to his side and says I smell amazing. I knew spraying
a little Chanel No. 5 was a good idea after all. I thank him, even
though I feel a slight bit uneasy and a little
light-headed.

Our eyes lock and my heart
pounds out of my chest. Steven’s lips slightly part, and he has
never looked so serious. As a little Foreigner plays in the
background, dragging couples up off their chairs and onto the dance
floor, I feel myself start to tremble. I take a large gulp from my
drink and nervously laugh as Steven gently tucks a stray strand of
hair behind my ear. I bite my lip and quickly look away.
Is he actually going to try and kiss me?
Here?

I scan my surroundings, and
notice we are the only two people tucked away in the dark corner of
the bar area. This is when my worry sets in. Not because I am not
interested in seeing what Steven’s gorgeously plush lips taste
like, but because frankly I am not ready for this type of
PDA.
Oh God, he is leaning in, he is going
to try and kiss me!
I tilt my head down and
pretend to be mesmerized in the ice cubes clinking around in my
drink, but Steven persists. I feel his fingers gently tilt my chin
up to meet his gaze and I want to yank myself away, but I
can’t.

I close my eyes in anticipation of
Steven’s lips locking with mine, and…

WHACK!!!

Steven is ripped away with a whoosh of
air, coupled with simultaneous screams and shouts. I jerk my eyes
open and see him scrunched up on the floor in the fetal position.
He is shouting out in pain, and everything is moving in slow
motion. I look up confused and watch Jessica screaming at the top
of her lungs at something/someone behind me. I whip around and see
Ben shaking out his clenched fist with Michael holding him back
against the bar. I turn back to Jessica surrounded by her family
while Steven’s brother Dave helps him to his feet. Steven has a
huge red shiner around his left eye, and then it dawns on me. I am
mortified. Ben just sucker punched Steven.

“
What the hell was that
Ben?” Jessica shrieks for the fifth time as I watch a vein pop out
of her forehead, “Megan! What is going on?”

Jessica and Michael’s family are
staring at Ben and I with looks of horror. Jessica’s mother is
completely disgusted and shakes her head. I feel ill when Stephanie
and Michelle forcefully place their hands on their hips and wait
for my response. I look back at Ben red with rage and he locks his
pain stricken eyes with mine. I feel myself begin to shake.
Everyone’s eyes are on us, but neither of us has a
response.

“
Don’t even tell me you two
are sleeping together!” Jessica shouts, stating the
obvious.

“
I knew it!” Michelle
shrieks.

“
What?” Stephanie gasps
covering her big mouth with her hand.

“
Well are you?” Jessica
shouts.

Our shameful silence only solidifies
everyone’s suspicions.

“
I can’t believe you two.”
Jessica says with tears welling up in her eyes.

“
Jessica I am so sorry…” I
cry.

“
Don’t even!” she shouts
cutting me off. She begins to tremble as the tears roll down her
cheeks, “You hid this from me? You let me set you up with my
cousin? Then Ben punches him in the face? At my wedding! Both of
you get the hell out of here! You ruined everything! GET
OUT!”

Michael releases Ben who doesn’t dare
look back at me, or anyone else for that matter. He storms out of
the hall while I stand there frozen, wishing I could rewind
everything. The look on Jessica’s face is enough to bring me to
tears. They well up in the corner of my eyes and I choke back the
humiliation. I think how Jessica has waited for this day her whole
life. She wished and prayed for it to be as flawless as her ivory
skin, but now it is anything but and everything is
ruined.

“
Jessica, I am so sorry.” I
grovel, but Eric grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me out of the
hall with tears rolling down my cheeks.

I slump down on the cement walkway
outside, and yank myself free from Eric’s grasp. He peers down at
me with an awful look of disappointment splashed across his face.
It reminds me of a look my mother once gave me when she
unexpectedly came home for lunch one afternoon in the ninth grade
and caught Jessica and I skipping class to catch up on a few missed
episodes of the OC (compliments of Michelle who taped every single
episode due to a slightly crazy Seth obsession).

“
Jessica is never going to
forgive either of you for this.” Eric says shaking his
head.

“
What…the… hell… was Ben…
thinking?” I choke between sobs, “When you…go …back in…tell
Steven…I am so …sorry.”

Eric flops down beside me and wraps
his arm around me, “Eventually everything is going to be okay, but
right now -”

“
No it’s not.” I wail,
“Everything is ruined! Jessica will never talk to me
again!”

Eric hugs me a bit tighter, “How long
has this been going on?”

“
The night before we left”
I whimper, finally feeling my tears begin to settle.

“
That sly son-of-a-bitch.”
Eric laughs.

“
What’s so funny?” I
ask

“
Well, you guys have been
dancing around crossing the friend line since the tenth grade. It’s
about time.” He snorts.

“
That’s not true.” I shout
crossing my arms in front of my chest. Now feeling betrayed by Eric
too.

“
Come on Megan, I see the
way you two look at each other. We all do. You guys even act like a
couple.” Eric says releasing me from his hug.

“
That’s because we were
best friends. Not because we liked each other.” I wail, “Besides, I
never wanted any of this! I was happy how we were. He’s the one
that started it!”

I wait for Eric to say something more,
but he only stares back at me with skepticism, as if he doesn’t
believe for a second I was opposed to Ben’s charming good looks. I
guess I expected him to be more understanding and sympathetic to my
circumstance. I know I am to blame, but I do not want to admit it.
That is why I didn’t turn down his coin toss that night. Drunk or
not, I secretly hoped it landed on heads. I wanted Ben more than I
let myself believe. I feel anger welling up inside of me, “Well he
slept with Stephanie too!”

“
Whoa…what does that have
to do with anything?” Eric calmly asks.

“
They kept it a secret from
all of us.” I defensively shout trying to pull Eric on my
side.

“
That’s no secret. I knew
they slept together.” Eric laughs, “Stephanie practically raped him
that night after the party you held at your place.”

“
Great.” I sigh.

“
Ben’s been with a lot of
girls, you know that.” Eric says, and if this is his attempt to try
and make me feel better, it isn’t working.

“
Yeah exactly, he’s a
player, and I’ve been played.” I drop my head into my
hands.

“
Stop the dramatics Megan.”
Eric laughs and continues, “Have you ever seen Ben ever get that
upset over a girl, ever?”

I pause and think hard, but I can’t
come up with anything, “He just can’t handle hearing the word no,
and I am just the first girl to ever to say it.”

Eric rolls his eyes and rises to his
feet, “Believe what you will. Come on. I’ll walk you back to your
room.”

“
No, it’s okay. I think I
want to walk alone.” I say wiping away a few residual tears and
pull off my ridiculous heels.

“
Are you sure?” Eric asks
raising his brow.

“
Positive.” I say, when he
gives me meager hug of pity.

As soon as I hit the sheets, I break
down. The tears burn my cheeks, and my silent heaves of agony are
never ending. I can’t get the look on Jessica’s face out of my
mind. It was compiled of three of the worst emotions: disgust,
betrayal and anger.

All of this eats me alive. How am I
ever going to make this up to her? How is she ever going to forgive
me? I have gone from the best maid-of-honor to every bride’s
nightmare. I can already see Jessica retelling this story to her
new clique of suburbia housewives:

So not only did she lie to
me about sleeping with Ben, she humiliated me by letting me set her
up with my more than perfect cousin. And if that wasn’t bad enough,
Ben ruined my whole wedding by punching my sweet cousin in the face
and revealed their dirty little secret and embarrassed me in front
of my whole family. They ruined my big day! Can you believe the
nerve of her? After all these years?

I slam my head into the pillow and
scream. Damn my shit luck. This is why I don’t do relationships!
This is why I play by the goddamn rules and this is why I am
blatantly neurotic. What in the world was I thinking tonight?
Honestly, when I look back at how I acted, I was just a selfish
fool. Not only did Jessica and Michael deserve better from me. But
Steven deserved the truth.

If I thought I hated Ben before when I
found out he slept with Stephanie, nothing compares to how much I
hate him now for humiliating me and ruining the wedding. I curl up
into a ball under the covers, still in my bridesmaid dress with
trails of mascara streaking down my cheeks. I think of my mother,
alone and miserable all these years. Is that what my life has come
down to? Should I just go out and buy a bunch of cats and take up
knitting as a hobby, because I feel like I am one step away from
completely losing my mind. Whoever said friends with benefits would
work was so wrong. This is way more painful than any other breakup
I have ever experienced, and we weren’t even dating! I close my
eyes and take a deep breath, feeling the most alone I have ever
felt in my whole entire life.

Chapter 19

“
If I were you, I wouldn’t
even think of coming to the day after party.” Michelle advises me
the following morning in a quiet hush.

“
Won’t that make things
worse?” I sigh and pull on my shorts.

She glances into the bathroom and
makes sure Stephanie is still wrapped up in applying her morning
face, while brutalizing a Madonna classic with her tone-deaf voice.
Michelle fiddles with a strand of her hair and bites her bottom
lip, “You know I want to help you Megan, but Jessica and Michael
are really pissed. You don’t want to ruin their day after party
too.”

Unlike Stephanie, Michelle has
secretly been sympathetic to my circumstance from last night. As
soon as Stephanie hit the shower, she broke down and told me
everything Jessica had said once I left the reception. She even
revealed, that Jessica has forbidden them from speaking with me. Of
course Stephanie is on board with Jessica’s wishes, which is no
surprise to me since every time Jessica and I have ever had a
remote difference of opinion, she would immediately become Team
Jessica no matter what.

Then Michelle makes a point of telling
me she knows that Ben’s behavior last night was not at all my
fault, and she tried to tell Jessica that. Of course Jessica
refused to agree, and said she couldn’t believe I hid sleeping with
Ben from her. When I try to explain to Michelle my side of the
story, she silences me by waving her hand in my face. She finally
reveals that Jessica said it wasn’t my lying about Ben that she
can’t forgive. It is how I intentionally led on Steven and
embarrassed both of them in front of their whole entire
family.

I become welled up with remorse and
ask Michelle if she thinks I am an awful person. She confesses she
understood why I hid what was going on, and insists I am far from
awful. She even admits she thinks Jessica has taken everything a
little too far. But right away she makes me promise I won’t tell
anyone that we spoke. Michelle is worried that if Stephanie got
wind of her Team Megan stance, she would rat her out to Jessica and
only add unnecessary fuel to the fire.