Between Friends (10 page)

That’s all? I want to
shout. Like no big deal? Ohmigod. I can feel the sweat building up
under my armpits. I am trying to speak and assure Steven that there
is nothing going on. But for some reason, the words I want to say
don’t spit out of my mouth. I kick myself from the inside,
Come on Megan! Just say nothing is going on or
ever has!

But I don’t. Instead I politely wipe
my mouth with my napkin, and place it back down on my knees. When
our silence is unbearable, Steven finally changes the subject, “So
Megan, tell me about your mother again.”

****

After dinner, outside the restaurant
on the patio, I thank Steven again for the flowers, and tell him I
had a really nice time. Steven leans against the wall and smiles at
me with his bright blue eyes, “I also had a good time. I really
enjoyed your company.”

I take a deep steadying
breath, “W
ould like to come and meet
Jessica and my other friends for a drink?”

“
I didn’t want to intrude
on your late night plans, so I told my brother and cousins I would
meet up with them later. I hope you don’t mind, I just didn’t want
to be too forward.” Steven says taking one step closer, “Maybe we
will stop by later if they are feeling up to it.”

“
Sure” I smile, but I can
tell he is just being polite.

Steven closes the space between us by
placing his hand on the column behind me to stop from pressing
against my body. I swallow hard and scoot back a bit along the
railing. I give him a final thank you and start to walk away.
Steven grabs my hand and turns me around to face him. He brings my
hand up to his mouth and gently kisses it. I turn a tad flush, and
thank him once again and say I hope to see him later (which in
truth, I am not sure at all what I want.)

I walk back to my villa, ready to take
off these heels and put on some flats, completely confused and
utterly shaken. I want so badly to make everything with Steven
work, but something is eating away at me. Is it Ben? I groan out
loud and toss my head back as I walk down the cobblestone road. I
catch a glimpse of the door to my villa, stopping dead in my
tracks. Ben is sitting on the concrete patio, resting his elbows on
his knees staring off into space. He startles when he hears me,
jerking his head in my direction. A soft worry is reflected in his
eyes mixed with a sense of desperation. He quickly rises to his
feet as I briskly walk up to my door and push past him.

“
We need to talk.” He says
with small quiver in his voice.

I shove in my key card, push open the
door, and leave Ben outside in the hot and humid air. When I don’t
respond, he wedges himself in the doorframe as I flick on the
lights.

“
What do you want Ben?” I
sigh, and whip around to face him.

Ben’s closes his eyes and takes a deep
breath, “Fuck Megan, I can’t take it any more.”

Before I can even respond, he slams me
up against the wall and presses his wonderfully soft lips up
against mine. Our kissing is strong, passionate, and if I have ever
thought for one second that anyone in my past was a good kisser, I
am mistaken. I am completely lost in Ben. He grabs the back of my
neck with one hand, and moves the other over the strap of my dress
and slips it off my shoulder to expose my bra. I feel myself
wanting to resist him, wanting to still hate him for how he acted
today, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I surrender to
his touch and what I have been craving since the last time, and
find myself giving into Ben.

Chapter 8

Any prior debate I had with
myself over this moment is completely gone. Ben and I have
officially broken rule #1 of the male and female friendship code,
for the second time in just three short days.
Ben’s strong warm body presses up against mine and his hands
wander all over.
His touch is so foreign
yet familiar and I don't want it to stop.
He kisses me with conviction, and
I
kiss him back feeling a little light headed. He pulls away and
trails a streamline of tiny kisses down my neck. I moan and run my
fingers through his thick dark hair, inhaling his sweet-smelling
shampoo.

With his free hand, he unclips my bra
and exposes my breasts. A small part of me feels vulnerable and
uncertain, but I don’t stop him when he drops my dress to the
floor. His breathing quickens and our eyes lock, brown on blue. I
can see how badly he wants this, how badly he wants me. His face is
serious and sexy when he yanks me off my feet and squeezes my
thighs. I wrap my legs around his waist and slide my arms around
his neck, feeling calm and secure as he carries me to the
bed.

I tingle all over when he releases me
onto the pillows and I watch him quickly yank off his tight grey
shirt. I admire his amazingly firm six-pack rippling on his tanned
stomach as he leans over me and places his soft lips back on mine.
I feel this crazy feeling welling up inside me when I move my hands
over his smooth muscular back all the way down to his
hips.

“
Holy fuck Megan,” he
murmurs in my ear as he places his hands on either side of my
head.

He runs his fingers
through my hair and I crumble beneath him, quivering with both
excitement and fear.
I am so ready for him
that I start to find my fingers trailing slowly to unbutton his
jeans. He stops me and grabs both of my hands and pins them above
my head. Then slowly, he moves downwards kissing every inch of my
body. We are both breathing fast and hard as I cling to him and
feel a rush of euphoria burn right through me.

He puts his mouth back on mine and
sucks at my bottom lip, “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted
this since the last time.” Ben mumbles and moves his hands down to
the inside of my legs and pushes them apart. He slides my panties
to the side and starts kissing right there. I am going crazy, just
dying to seal the deal when he slips them off and leaves me
completely naked. His ability to multitask is both impressive yet
worrisome as he unbuttons his jeans and kisses me with his lips. I
am practically begging him and aching so badly from the quickening
welling all over my body, “Ben, please.” I moan.

He smiles against my neck knowing
exactly what I want, lowers his body over mine, and enters inside
me. When he moves, I move with him, when he moans I feel the same
pleasure, but when it is all said and done, we are both left
completely satisfied.

I pull the covers up to my chin,
suddenly feeling extremely exposed. Even despite the fact that only
seconds ago, he was inside me. Ben on the other hand is anything
but shy. He turns to face me, props his elbow up on the pillows and
rests his head on the palm of his hand, “Megan, I can’t stop
thinking about you.”

Somewhere deep inside me, I want to
tell him I can’t stop thinking about him either. But my guard
immediately goes up and points out the obvious, “This is so
wrong.”

Ben takes a deep breath, closes his
eyes and bites his bottom lip. The silence seems to last forever,
but in reality it has only been a few seconds when he re-opens his
eyes, “What is so wrong about it?”

I laugh and toss my hair back,
thinking he can’t be serious. But when I look back at him, his face
is stricken with grief, “Where do I start? First of all, we are
just friends, not bang buddies! Second of all, you know as well as
I do that sex only complicates everything. Look at Matthew and
Michelle. Do you want to end up like that? I know I sure
don’t.”

Ben contemplates my comparison and
lets out a long sigh, “It doesn’t have to be like that.”

“
Why? Because this is just
some casual sex between friends?” I snap, wrapping the covers
around my body and sit up on the bed. Ben knows just as well as I
do, that the only way
not
to end up like Matthew and Michelle right now, is
to clearly define what this is. But I don’t know if he can ever do
that.

Ben clenches his jaw, reaching over
the bed to stop me from getting up, but I slip through his fingers,
bend down and snatch up my bra. He lets out a sigh of defeat, gets
up and puts on his underwear. I peak over at him and watch his lean
muscular chest while he tugs on his light wash denim jeans and
buttons them up. He catches me glaring at him and says, “You know I
don’t see it that way.”

“
Then what is it Ben? Were
you suddenly bored of banging bleach-blonde whores that you thought
you’d give your brunette best friend a go?” I say watching him run
both hands through his hair.

“
None of those girls mean
anything to me. You know that.” Ben sighs.

“
And I do? That’s all you
do is have sex with girls. I was probably the only one left you
hadn’t screwed!” I scream feeling tears well up in my eyes. I am
completely distraught by letting myself turn into one of Ben’s
random flings. I know this is ridiculous, and I know I am ruining
everything, but I can’t help it. I just don’t understand where all
this is coming from.

“
That’s how you see me?
After all the years we’ve known each other?” Ben says with a hint
of disbelief in his eyes. I now feel somewhat ashamed. I suppose I
came off a little harsh, but that is exactly what he’s like and
maybe he needs to know that. He has always been the guy who counts
the notches on his belt, and from his exceptionally experienced
performance a few short minutes ago, I am guessing I must be at
least number 154.

“
Well? What am I supposed
to think?” I shout pulling on my panties.

“
Megan…” Ben drawls, but I
cut him off.

“
You know what, forget it
Ben.” I say and slide on my bracelet. I pause hearing nothing but
silence from his side of the bed then add, “So what? You didn’t
answer me? Am I out of your system? Can I see other
people?”

“
Oh, like Steven?” Ben
cockily says and tosses my dress across the bed. I roll my eyes at
him and catch it. I shimmy it over my body and avoid his question.
He pulls on his tight grey shirt, “Because it didn’t seem like you
were missing him much about five minutes ago.”

I feel my face burn and I slowly count
to ten. I just want to scream at him. See, this is why this is so
stupid. He is only proving my point as to why we would never work.
We are both too strong willed and too stubborn to admit our
feelings ever. I turn my back to him and suck back the
tears.

“
Shit Megan, I’m really
sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Ben grovels from the other side
of the bed.

I whip around and look into
his pleading eyes. Their dark gaze draws me in and makes me weak at
the knees. He crawls over the bed, sits on the edge then pulls me
into his lap. He brushes my hair away from my face, holds it in a
loose ponytail and lets out a huge sigh, “Is that what
you
want? For me to be
your fuck buddy?”

I shrug. Scared to admit what I really
want.

He pauses and drops his head into his
chest, “You are making this way more complicated than it
is.”

“
Well whatever it is, I
can’t see it ending nicely.” I grunt.

“
Why can’t you live in the
moment? Why are you always questioning every little thing and
expecting the worst?”

I want to slap him. I hate how he
calls me out on all of my little issues, all the time.

“
Well what are we going to
tell everyone?” I sigh, “What am I supposed to tell
Steven?”

“
Why do we have to tell
them anything?” he says kisses my cheek, then laughs, “Besides,
Steven who?”

I playfully nudge him, “Well I can’t
be sleeping with both of you.”

Ben tilts his head to the side and
purses his lips together, “Come on Megan, we all know you are a
serial monogamist. You would never - ”

“
Exactly” I whine, “That is
why I don’t understand any of this. You are making me break all my
rules.”

“
That’s what I like about
you though, you are all self-contained.” Ben smiles and kisses my
neck.

I feel myself wanting to attempt round
two, but instead I push him away. Ben gives me an innocent stare,
but he knows exactly what he’s doing.

“
How am I supposed to go in
front of all our friends and act like everything is normal?” I ask
trying to push him further on the issue.

He rolls his eyes, “This is between me
and you. We are not going to tell them anything. Understand? This
is our little secret.”

I scrunch my nose and take in what Ben
is suggesting. I am not sure what to make of it, and it makes me a
little skeptical on his intentions, “Everyone is probably wondering
where we are, and even worse, we are going to walk in late
together.”

“
You’re the only one with a
guilty conscious.” Ben laughs, “We are always together so why would
they think
that
was weird?”

He does have a point there,
and I cringe knowing he is right. We are
always
together, and usually we opt
to be that way. With this in mind, Ben suggests we devise a little
plan. Because he already told everyone he needed to leave the bar
to get his phone (hence why he was waiting at my door). He saw me
wandering back from my date, so I could change into my flats,
(which is true). Then we had a couple of drinks at my villa, which
we did (while we devised our plan), and finally strolled down to
the bar together.