Before I Wake (13 page)

“We should…do something with him,” I said as Tod’s lips trailed
down my neck.

“In a minute.” His hand slid beneath the back of my torn shirt
and I sucked in a deep breath, then closed my eyes. “Near-death experiences
release a lot of endorphins, resulting in a natural high,” Tod whispered against
my collarbone as his mouth trailed lower. “And it’s totally true that one
passion feeds another.”

“You know we’re way past ‘near-death,’ right?”

“My endorphins aren’t listening to you.”

I laughed and enjoyed the moment for just a little longer. Then
I pushed him back gently, and he groaned. “I’ve never hated anyone else like I
hate that bastard
right now.
”

“I know. Did you see his eyes? They’re empty.”

Tod’s brows rose. He knelt next to the unconscious reaper and
pulled one of his eyelids up to reveal the clean white orb beneath, absent both
iris and pupil. The windows to his soul were empty. Because he didn’t have one.
“Well, that explains why he’s working with Avari.”

“Avari has his soul?” I said, and Tod nodded, standing. “So
what’s keeping him…here? In his body?”

“My guess would be Demon’s Breath.”

“Just like Addy?”

Another solemn, silent nod.

“I didn’t know that would work with a reaper.”

Tod’s beautiful lips pressed together in a frown. “Me,
neither.”

“So, what are we going to do with him?”

“Obviously, we have to call Levi, but I think we should
question him first. I’d bet my afterlife he knows what Avari’s up to. But the
minute he wakes up, he’ll blink out.”

“Ah, the age-old question: How do you keep a reaper in one
place long enough to question him? Too bad he can’t talk in his sleep… .” I
realized what I’d said the minute the last syllable fell from my tongue.
“Sabine. Maybe she could read him while he’s out,” I suggested. “His fears
probably won’t tell us exactly what Avari’s up to, but he’d have to be crazy not
to be afraid of the hellion, so surely she’ll be able to get
something
from him.”

Tod shrugged. “It’s worth a shot.” He pulled his cell from his
pocket and scrolled through the menu for less than a second—a reaper’s contact
list can’t be very long—then pressed a button and held the phone to his ear.
“Sabine? We need help with something dangerous and probably stupid. You in?”

I couldn’t hear her reply, but it sounded like some variation
of “Hell, yes.”

“I assume you’re in my brother’s bed?” he said, and that time I
was glad I couldn’t hear the reply. “We’ll be there in a minute.”

“You know, most people don’t ask questions like that,” I said
as he knelt to grip Thane beneath his arms.

“That’s because most people care what other people think about
them. I don’t have that problem.”

I frowned. “You don’t care what I think about you?”

“You’re not other people.” Tod glanced at my torn shirt, and I
realized it no longer covered much. “Why don’t you go change, then meet me at
Nash’s?”

“He’s not speaking to you.” Not without me there to play
mediator. And we didn’t know how long Thane would be out. And even if Tod had
been willing to leave me alone with the rogue reaper—even unconscious—I wasn’t
sure I could get him to Nash’s on my own. I was still very new at the afterlife.
“Damn it. Guess I’m wearing the costume, after all.”

In the bathroom, I pulled off the remains of my shirt and
pulled Emma’s candy-stripper dress over my head, relieved to see that it covered
more than my ruined shirt. Barely. But my shorts were hardly visible beneath the
short skirt.

“Wow,” Tod said when I stepped out of the bathroom.

“Change your mind about the costume?”

He shook his head. “You don’t need that to look hot. But it
definitely needed you.”

I couldn’t resist a satisfied smile as Tod hauled Thane up, and
I knelt to pick up his feet. “Aim for the living room, unless you want to see
Sabine naked.”

“Have you seen her naked?”

Tod flinched. “Not on purpose. You ready?” he asked, and I
nodded, pulling Thane’s legs higher. “In three…two…one.”

We blinked out together, and by some miracle we both landed in
Nash’s living room at the same time. And Thane was in one piece. “What would
have happened if you’d gotten here just an instant before me?” I asked, setting
the unconscious reaper’s feet on the ground.

Tod hauled him over to the only armchair and dropped him into
it. “You know how a wishbone works, right?”

“Ew.” And I was betting we couldn’t get many answers out of
half a reaper.

Nash’s bedroom door opened down the hall and Sabine came out in
a bra, still buttoning her jeans, her shirt tossed over one shoulder. Nash was
right behind her, in nothing but boxers.

Sabine burst into laughter the moment she saw me, but Nash
stopped cold in the middle of the hall. “What the hell are you wearing?”

“You look like a blow-up doll come to life,” Sabine said before
I could explain, and I could feel my face flame. She pulled her phone from her
pocket. “No one’s going to believe this without a picture.”

“It’s not what it looks like,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Take your finger off the button, or I swear you will be in the market for a new
phone.”

“And a new finger,” Tod added.

“What are you doing here?” Nash asked. “And please skip the
part about your outfit. I don’t want to know.”

“I do,” Sabine said, but we all ignored her. “So, did the
costume come with a condom, or is that sold separately?”

“This coming from the half-naked Nightmare who just rolled out
of someone else’s bed,” I snapped, more embarrassed than truly angry. “My shirt
got torn in a fight. Yours evidently has a fast-release tab.”

“What do you
want,
Kaylee?” Nash
demanded again, completely ignoring his brother.

“We need Sabine to read him.” I stepped aside so they could see
Thane, still passed out in the chair. “Quickly. We’re not sure how long he’ll be
out.”

“We?” Nash said, and that’s when I realized he couldn’t see
Tod. “I’m guessing my brother’s here somewhere?”

I glanced at Tod with both brows raised, and he shrugged. “I
didn’t think he’d want to see me.” A second later, Nash stiffened and glanced
from me to the brother he could obviously see now.

“Get out,” he growled through gritted teeth.

“Nash…” Tod started, and I stepped between them when Nash
advanced on him.

“Okay, now, wait a minute,” I said, acutely aware that I was
still dressed like a naughty candy striper. “I know this is awkward and
embarrassing for everyone, but—”

“Not for me,” Sabine said.

“—but we wouldn’t be here if this wasn’t an emergency. So
here’s what’s going to happen. Sabine’s going to put her shirt on. I’m going to
borrow a shirt. And you two are going to pretend—just for the next fifteen
minutes—that you still have something in common beyond DNA.”

“Oh, I think you’re no-longer-living proof that they share more
than that,” the
mara
said, and I groaned. “Oh,
lighten up. This is funny, and you all know it.”

“I’ll get you a shirt,” Nash grumbled, but before he could even
turn toward the hall, Tod pulled his T-shirt off and handed it to me, and I
could hear Nash’s teeth grind together.

Sabine rolled her eyes. “The three of you are enough to drive a
mara
mad. ‘She can wear
my
shirt,’” she growled in imitation of Nash. “‘No, she can wear
my
shirt,’” she said, switching to Tod’s
smoother tone. Then Sabine took off down the hall without a glance at any of us.
“I have a spare. Come on, Kaylee, before I choke on testosterone and
melodrama.”

I followed her into Nash’s room reluctantly and she closed the
door behind us, then pulled a spare T-shirt from her backpack on the floor.
Sabine handed me the shirt, then knelt to look for something beneath the
bed.

“Thanks, but I’m not changing in front of you,” I said.

“Relax.” Her voice was muffled by whatever junk she was pawing
through. “I’ve got everything you’ve got, plus a little more on top, and
everyone who wants to see you naked is out there. But if you’re that uptight, go
invisible.”

So I did, and when I was sure she couldn’t see me, I took off
Em’s dress and laid it across the foot of Nash’s bed.

“
There
they are…” Sabine mumbled,
pulling some scrap of black material from beneath the bed. I didn’t understand
that she’d been looking for her underwear until she started unbuttoning her
jeans. “So, what’s with the costume?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” I said, turning my
back to her to pull her shirt over my head. And I wasn’t sure she’d heard me
until she answered.

“You do if you want me to read whoever’s passed out in the
living room. What am I supposed to think when you show up here alone, wearing
that? I know that move. I’ve
made
that move.”

“It wasn’t a move, and I wasn’t alone.” Just because they
hadn’t seen Tod at first didn’t mean he hadn’t been there the whole time. “I’m
not trying to take Nash from you.”

“Good, because we had a deal. You die, I get Nash. You even
try
going back on that, and I don’t care how
dead you are, I’ll make you deader.”

“What is
wrong
with you?” I
demanded, trying to tug the T-shirt down over my navel. But it wasn’t long
enough. “You got what you wanted. You and Nash can grow old together and have a
whole brood of scary, maladjusted little baby Nightmares, and I’m not going to
stop you. I’m dead, and nothing’s going to change that. I love Tod, and
nothing’s going to change that, either. We’re facing eternity and the deaths of
everyone we’ve ever cared about, with nothing to cling to but each other. So who
the hell are you to tell me where I can’t be and what I can’t wear? I don’t
answer to you, Sabine!”

I only noticed she could see me when I realized she was staring
straight into my eyes.

“You love him? Tod, I mean?” she asked, finally pulling her own
shirt over her head.

“Yes.”

“For real? Like, can’t-live-without-him love him, complete with
all the stupid, dangerous shit love like that makes you willing to do?”

“Yes. My eyes don’t want to open when he’s not there to look at
and my hands feel empty when I’m not touching him. It’s the scariest thing I’ve
ever felt.”

The
mara
nodded, like she
understood.

“He died for me, Sabine. He let Levi kill him, rather than reap
my soul, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. So you better hope we’re
never put in the position where I have to choose between you and Tod, because I
promise things won’t end well for you that day.”

She stared into my eyes, and if I didn’t know better, I’d swear
she was watching my irises swirl. But she wasn’t a
bean
sidhe,
so she couldn’t see that. She was looking for something much
simpler. She was looking for the truth. And she must have found it, because she
blinked, then nodded, like she was satisfied.

“Good. That’s what I needed to hear. Let’s go see what scares
sleeping beauty.”

“Sabine.” I put one hand on her arm. “He may be pretty, but I
swear he’s evil. For real.”

She only laughed, like I’d told her water was wet. “All pretty
things are, in one way or another.”

As I followed her down the hall, I tried to figure out if she’d
just called me evil or ugly.

In the living room, Nash and Tod sat in silence on opposite
ends of the couch. They both looked miserable. They also looked like they both
wanted to say something the other wouldn’t want to hear.

Nash stood when Sabine knelt in front of the unconscious
reaper. “Who is he?”

“This is Thane,” I said. “He showed up at the hospital and
tried to drag me into the Netherworld. And he wanted to make sure Tod would
follow us, so I’m guessing he wasn’t there only for me. We’re pretty sure he
knows what Avari wants, and hopefully how he possessed Scott twelve hours after
he died.”

“What happened to him?” Sabine asked, eyeing Thane.

“Tod happened to him,” I said. “Again. Could you go ahead,
please? We don’t know how long he’ll be out.”

“Don’t get pushy,” Sabine snapped. “I can’t manipulate the
fears of the dead, but I should be able to read
something
from him. I haven’t had much practice, though. Reapers
rarely sleep. This one is actually unconscious, but hopefully that’s close
enough.” She took his hand, then closed her eyes. “He’s not dreaming. Could
someone…open his eyes?”

The thought gave me chills, but Nash stepped up before I had to
admit that.

“Not sure how much good it’ll do,” Tod said as his brother
pulled back on both of Thane’s eyelids at once. “He doesn’t have a soul.”

“Wow.” Sabine stared into the plain white in the reaper’s eyes.
“I’ve never seen that before.”

Nash frowned. “Wish I could say the same.”

“You’re right, that doesn’t help,” she said, and he let go of
Thane’s eyes. “Okay, let’s try something else. His conscious mind is asleep, but
the subconscious never sleeps. Let’s see if we can guide his thoughts, to lead
me to his fears.”

“How?” Tod asked.

“Um, touch him. We know Avari wants Kaylee’s soul, but we don’t
know what he wants with you. Even unconscious, Thane’ll know it’s you touching
him, and hopefully he’ll think about you, which will lead me to fears related to
you.”

“Tod’s a rookie. He’s like a baby reaper. Why would Thane be
scared of him?”

“I said fears related to Tod, not fears
of
Tod,” Sabine said, and Nash scowled, but kept his mouth shut.

“Okay.” Tod pushed Thane’s sleeve up and laid his bare hand on
the other reaper’s arm. “How’s that?”

Sabine closed her eyes again and took a long, quiet breath.
Then she started to speak, softly, like she was afraid she’d wake up the
unconscious reaper. “He’s afraid of failing. He’s terrified of what Avari will
do if he can’t bring Tod to him.”