Beauty in Disguise (27 page)

Lord, I do not know what to pray. I do not know what to do. My father always told me if I felt far from You, it was me who moved, not You. I am taking my first step back to You now. Please show me what to do.

Dalton lifted his head from her lap and sat down on the ground at her feet, his back up against the bench. He faced the pond and they sat quietly, both wondering what to do next. Had she been silly asking God to give her a sign? Even far away from Him, she knew He rarely worked that way.

“Kathryn, I need to confess something I’ve done before you hear it from someone else. I promise you, I thought only of you. I saw a way I thought would make you happy, make all of this easier on you.”

“Pray tell me.”

“You may not have noticed in the shock of seeing me, but I have corresponded several times with Miss Mattingly.”

“I do not understand.”

“When your father told me that this was probably where you were, I wrote to her to discover if that was so and to find out about your well-being. I know it was presumptuous of me, but I was worried. And I missed you.”

Still he sat looking straight ahead. “When she confirmed you were with her, I asked her if I could come see you. I told her I wanted to pick up Lacey and Jacob and bring them for a visit. I wanted to surprise you.”

“What?” She was amazed, more than amazed, though she knew she should not be. His thoughtfulness had always been one of the things she loved most about him.

“She loves you very much. She told me she thought you needed a little more time to put things into perspective in your own mind. Of course she knew about your love for those children, but she could not be sure whether a visit from them would make you happy or leave you brokenhearted again.” He was quiet. “She is a very wise woman.”

“A great deal wiser than me,” she responded. “When you first said it, I wished you
had
brought them. But I know myself. It would have been too hard to say goodbye again, not knowing when I would see them or if they were being taken care of properly.”

She could imagine his impatience, waiting for the responses from Matty before every decision. He listened to Matty, he agreed to give her, as well as the children, some healing time together.

Now she did not know if she
could
throw that kind of love away.

He spoke again. “I thought I heard something in her words that I could not be sure of in a letter. So one day, while you were visiting neighbors, I visited your Miss Mattingly.”

“I cannot believe this! To what purpose, my lord?” She was not angry, but confused, and a little hurt.

“To offer her the position as Lacey and Jacob’s governess.”

She was speechless! She tried to rise, but her legs got tangled in his boots, and she literally fell into his lap. She was a bit stunned, but she looked at him and saw his smile, accompanied by those mesmerizing dimples. They both laughed at the predicament she now found herself in. Their eyes locked, and she saw nothing but love gazing back at her. It would be so easy to stay there, but she soon returned to her senses and tried to get up.

“Can we not finish our discussion here?” he asked. “You would not wish to get your frock dirty sitting on the ground, and I know you would never stand over me, glaring like one of my old tutors.”

“You are trying to change the subject,” she said, forgetting all about her indelicate location on his lap. “What right did
you
have to offer Matty a position in the Dinsmore household? Indeed, why would you offer her a position at all? Now that I am here, Matty has no need to support herself.”

“Which of those items would you like me to address first?”

“All of them!”

He laughed out loud and hugged her to him. “Very well. I will answer them in the correct order. I thought I gleaned from one of her letters that she missed the relationships with children that being a governess afforded her. She knew she would love Lacey and Jacob because you do. I came to see her because I
needed
to know about you. Not seeing you was too hard.”

She blushed, and for once did not object.

“She assured me you were well physically, but she thought you were struggling emotionally. One of those issues was Jacob and Lacey. So I asked her if I had been correct in thinking she was not sure she wished to retire yet. She admitted that when you spoke of them, she began to worry about them, as well. If she could find special children like that, she thought she would enjoy watching one more generation of little ones grow up.”

“Why did she never tell me this?”

“I do not think it was something that weighed on her mind. I was asking her questions that led to the answer I sought.” She knew she should remove herself from his lap, but each time she thought about it, he went on with his story and she did not want to miss a thing.

“When I left here, I went to see Lady Dinsmore in London.”

At that, she turned to face him. They were only inches apart. “You
have
been busy!”

He continued immediately. “I told her we always had the children on our minds. Believe it or not, I have come to love them, too, you know. Once I looked at them through your eyes, it was impossible not to.” She lowered her eyes; they were so close and he stared at her so intently.

“The lady admitted they were quite changed since you were gone.”

“Oh, no!”

“She thought they were not as exuberant in their lessons and free time. I asked her if she was looking for a governess. She told me she knew they needed one, but she could never replace you.”

Tears fell down her cheeks.

“I told her I might know of someone, and I could let her know should that special person be available.”

She trembled a little as he touched his forehead to hers. “Do not cry, love. When I left London, I decided I needed to see them for myself. I knew you would expect a firsthand report!” He smiled again. “They are fine, though I had to answer a thousand questions about you. ‘Who does Miss Montgomery take with her on her learning days?’ ‘Is Miss Montgomery still working on her sampler for the nursery?’ ‘Tell Miss Montgomery the nursery only smells a little of smoke now.’ You are loved as much as you love them.”

She actually smiled at that, and reached a hand up to his face. “Thank you.”

“You are very welcome.”

Lord, my heart is changing. He is so loving. Could You be showing me this?

“I wrote to Miss Mattingly and asked if she would like the position. Obviously, it would depend on an agreement between both participants, but would she even consider it? I promised neither of the ladies anything, and I did not give Lady Dinsmore Miss Mattingly’s name.”

Kathryn’s head shot up. “Has Matty agreed?” She threw her arms around his neck, and feelings of joy overflowed.
God, this must be You!
Was he really willing to risk everything to please her? Would he take on the entire upper ten thousand of the
ton?

“She has not said yes yet. As you are well aware, you mean more to her than anyone else on this earth. This is not to make you feel guilty, but she would not give it a thought while you needed her. And she will talk about this with you when you are alone. The two of you will make the decision together.”

She removed her arms from his shoulders. “I am the linchpin upon which all else turns?”

“You are the biggest part, but that is because we all love you so much. You are first in our hearts. Miss Mattingly will take the position for her own sake, and to take your worry about those children off your shoulders. You are free to live here for as long as you like, if that is your wish. Your father wants you home with him very badly. If Miss Mattingly takes the position, you have a place with him, and you would not be far from the children.”

“But Charity...she will find out the truth, and the scandal will reach him.”

“Love, you must forget about Charity. Let go of that fear. The only thing she knows about you, or will ever know about you, is that you were her companion. Highborn ladies with no fortune take such positions often—more shame on us.
If
she takes the time to worry over it, no one will listen to her—but more importantly, there is nothing in her brainbox but herself. She will forget about you the day she walks into a London modiste.”

“You speak in jest, but the threat remains.”

“I speak the truth. But I do not wish to waste any more time discussing Charity Dinsmore. I want to give you a third option.”

Kathryn tensed. She knew what was coming.

“You can marry me. Miss Mattingly will be happy with Jacob and Lacey, and they with her. We can stay at your father’s whenever you wish, for as long as you wish. I know you will feel better nursing him yourself.

“You do love me, Kathryn. Please say it.”

Father, instead of giving me the way to go, You have given me many! Can the past really be in the past? I said I would trust You....

“Yes, my lord, I do love you.”

She let him put her arms around his neck once more. He slowly lowered her back just a bit and leaned in to place a tender kiss on her lips. She had waited six and twenty years for her first kiss, and it was the most natural thing in the world to tighten her arms a little and return it tenderly, trying to convey how powerful his love was to her. She felt nine years of pain and confusion fall off her shoulders, to be replaced with perfect peace.

“Will you marry me, my one and only love?” he asked as he kissed her again. “Say yes,” he said, kissing her one more time before she smiled at him with loving sapphire eyes.

“Yes, my love, I will marry you.”

He held her so tightly she could scarce breathe, but she did not care. After a moment she pulled away, but just a little.

“Christopher?”

“Yes, my fairy?”

It made her smile to remember that first night on the Rother River Bridge. But she must get her point across.

“When we are walking down Bond Street and we run into Charity Dinsmore, do you still think she will forget all about me?”

He groaned and ran his hand through his hair. This time she could not hide her smile.

“I think she will remember you, indeed, and I pray it is with the understanding that I
always
preferred the beauty in disguise.”

* * * * *

If you enjoyed this story by Mary Moore, be sure to check out the rest of the Love Inspired Historical books this month!

* * * * *

Keep reading for an excerpt of
A Royal Marriage
by Rachelle McCalla!

Dear Reader,

I hope you enjoyed reading about the journey of Kathryn and Dalton. I can tell you that they took me on quite a journey!

From the beginning, I had a story and a message I wanted you to be able to relate to, encased in a sweet romance. But that story fought back at every turn. I couldn’t make the characters fit into the significance of the message without bogging down the romance. Or the romance didn’t work when I tried to squeeze it into the message. It was then I realized that I was trying to put my message and my characters into a story that belonged to God!

At that point, I turned the story and the characters over to Him. I wanted His message to be paramount, not mine. So I asked for His forgiveness, and with that, He gave me new insight, a new direction and the message that He had just taught me. With
Ephesians
4:32 as the theme, “And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you,” the sweet love story became more of a struggle between Kathryn and Dalton, but maybe ended even sweeter because of the greater effort that was required of them to find that love.

I pray that you found something to touch your heart in this story. If so, I give all of the glory to God. Thank you for taking the time to read
Beauty In Disguise
. I would love to hear from you. Please visit my website,
www.marymooreauthor.com
, and drop me a note.

God bless you,

Mary

Questions for Discussion

1. From the beginning of the book, we were introduced to two women, Kathryn and Charity. One was beautiful on the inside, and one was beautiful on the outside. Do you think society today is as concerned with working on inner beauty as much as outer beauty?
   

2. What characteristics did Kathryn display as Miss Montgomery that made her so likeable despite her appearance?
   

3. Haven’t we all made the mistake of judging someone based on their appearance? Or have we judged someone based on their circumstances? Can you think of an instance where that has been brought home to you?
   

4. Regency London had strict codes of conduct. Kathryn believed she deserved to be ostracized for eloping. She thought herself unworthy of forgiveness. Are there things in your life you haven’t forgiven yourself for?
   

5. Kathryn even believed that God had forsaken her. Do you think He denies His forgiveness if we ask for it? Have you ever experienced that kind of hurt, either personally or in someone you know?
   

6. Kathryn and Dalton were apart for nine years, knowing nothing of the other’s situation. Once they meet again, they believe too much time has passed for them to “forgive and forget.” Is it ever too late to forgive someone? Have you had an experience with a lack of forgiveness either on your part or that of someone else?
   

7. When Kathryn ran away, she felt the need to deceive the people she came into contact with by wearing a disguise. The deception was used for different purposes, but does the end justify the means?
   

8. Both Kathryn and Dalton literally ran away from their problems. Have you ever run away from a problem by avoiding certain people or places because of the expectation of what might happen?
   

9. Did you become emotionally attached to any one character in the story? Why?
   

10. Kathryn was blessed to have a relationship with a sincere, godly woman in Miss Mattingly. What is the importance of having the fellowship and advice of such friends during the hard times of your life?
    

11. All three of the Dinsmore children were flawed, either to the point of being spoiled, or the opposite—starving for affection. How great is the importance of the influence our parents have on our character and overall lives? Share an experience in your own life.
    

12. Kathryn and Dalton had wonderful, playful senses of humor. Is that something you identified with? Do you use it in your own relationship with others?
    

13. Forgiveness and beauty that is only skin deep are themes throughout the story. What other themes stood out for you? Why?
    

14. What did you think of the Regency setting as the background for the story? Would you read more stories set in that time period? Why?
    

15. Discuss one or two of your favorite things about this book, and discuss one or two of your least favorite things.