Beauty in Disguise (23 page)

“Sweetheart, you must know what is troubling him. Can you not tell me?”

Lacey nodded her head, but seemed wary of speaking.

“Darling, you know you may say anything to me, whatever is on your mind.”

“You might be angry, Miss Montgomery. You might be as mad at us as everyone else is. When Sally came to take us outside a little while ago, we heard her tell James that she was to keep us out of Papa’s sight or we would get a rare trimming.”

“What is this all about?” Kathryn asked. It was hard to hide the anger in her voice. Her heart felt their loneliness, and she would not let them be treated this way. “Tell me what is upsetting your father so much that it has him in such a taking?”

“Some men have been in the nursery all morning. We knew it would need to be fixed some, but these men were not the ones who would be fixing it. They asked us questions and questions about last night and...and they say it was Jake who caused the fire.” Lacey automatically rubbed her brother’s back in comfort. “Papa says he can’t even punish Jake until his steam runs out, or something like that.”

Kathryn was livid. Sir John and Lady Dinsmore almost lost their son last night. Their son and heir! Lady Dinsmore had been hysterical until she could take Jacob from her arms last night. Yet today they were angry enough to completely isolate them? These children had been traumatized, as well. Where was the love and concern for them?

What was she thinking? They had never given them love and concern.

Now she had to try to control her temper so she could calm them.

“Jacob, you must not cry any longer,” Kathryn said in a sterner voice. He seemed to understand her severity did not necessarily mean anger. “Tell me why they think it was you. I shall not be upset with you, only tell me what happened.”

“It
was
me, Miss Montgomery.” Jacob hung his head and said his next words in a quiet voice. “It was me.” He paused for a moment. “I ’fessed it to them like you told me I should always do if I do something bad.” He heaved a few gulps of air and began to tear up, but went on. “Only they didn’t say I did a good thing to tell them like you do. Everyone yelled at me, and Charity said I should be shipped away to school.” He cried in earnest at those words. “Don’t let them ship me away, Miss Montgomery, please?”

“Jacob, you know your sister flies into the boughs sometimes and says things she does not truly mean.” Kathryn’s soothing voice was having its effect on Jacob’s hysterics as he thought about her words. “Now tell me what you confessed.”

“I woke up and couldn’t sleep, so I was thinking about how to finish my moat. I had a grand idea to put in a drawbridge, and I wanted to see if it would go over the water. I took Sally’s candle with me. She had fallen asleep in the chair, you see.” He began to whimper as the memory came back to him. “I was only going to be a minute, I was gonna put it right back, but when I set it on the floor, I must of put it too close to the pile of blue stuff for the water. It happened so fast, Miss Montgomery.”

Kathryn’s goal now was to quell his fears as he remembered each detail. She kissed the top of his head and said, “You must have been very scared, Jacob. What happened next?”

“I tried to blow it out, but it just seemed to get bigger.” Tears rolled freely down his face. “When it burned my tower, I cried, but it climbed up the wall. I ran to the other side of the room to get away from it. Then you found me.”

Kathryn now cried with him. She hugged him so tightly he squeaked. When she thought of what could have happened to him, she shuddered
. God, I know You are angry with me, but thank You for taking care of this special boy.
She could not stop her tears, hoping God knew how sincere she was.

“Jacob, it happened because of something you did, but it was an accident. You have been told that you must not touch the candles and that is why—they can be so very dangerous. Now your father is exceedingly angry, and you must be punished.” She added another silent prayer that Sir John would not take his anger out on the boy. “I have told you we all must be responsible for our actions, and though he will punish you, he is probably more upset when he thinks about what could have happened to you.” She knew she was being generous, but she could not allow Jacob to live the rest of his life traumatized over this one mistake, costly as it could have been. She knew only too well how a heart hindered by the past could become colder as the future loomed before it.

“But I almost got you hurt, Miss Montgomery,” Jacob cried, touching her heart. “I would never do anything to hurt people, ’specially you, honest I wouldn’t.”

Kathryn hugged him once again. “I know, love, and I am not angry with you, Jacob. I am only fearful when I think of how
you
could have been hurt. We must be thankful it was only wood and furniture that were damaged. And we must tell God that tonight in our prayers.” Though she was at outs with God, she would help these children know Him, just as Miss Matty had done for her.

She pulled Lacey to her and held them both in silence for a few moments with a déjà vu feeling of just the same being done for her less than a fortnight ago. She then heard another knock on her door and called, “Come in,” over the children’s heads.

“Um...Miss Montgomery...Lady Dinsmore wishes to see you in the drawing room. Oh, and Lord Dalton asks to speak with you at your convenience, if you are up to it.” Kathryn thanked the servant and told her she would be down as soon as she was dressed. Of a sudden, she realized she was not wearing her spectacles, and she reached up to discover she was no longer bewigged. She closed her eyes as the weight of what really happened would change everything.

No wonder all eyes had been upon her when Lord Dalton carried her into the dining room. They either had no idea who she was, because Lord Dalton kept calling her Kathryn, or they were confused that Lady Dinsmore
did
know who she was and was calling her Kate.

What were the children thinking? They had no problem recognizing her, though her appearance was different. She would need to explain it to them later. Later when she must tell them goodbye. No, she could not think about that now.

She smiled her loveliest at Jacob and tweaked his chin. “You two scamps need to go outside as Sally asked you. Now, be as good as gold and do not give her any need to scold you on your behavior.” Her smile belied the panic inside her.

Both children walked away quietly, and it seemed to Kathryn that they had been
somewhat
relieved at her reassuring words. Lacey curtsied, trying ever so hard to be grown-up. She seemed to remember something she wanted to say as she rose to leave. “You look very pretty in the morning when you wake up, Miss Montgomery.” Taking Jacob’s hand, she smiled once more at her beloved idol, and they left the room sedately so a reprimand would not be needed.

The second the door closed behind them, Kathryn covered her face with her hands. She had intended to resign today, but all she wanted was to leave as Miss Montgomery. Seems she had allowed herself to be too happy.

Her eyes filled with tears. She ran to her room, barely minding her way. She must get through these two interviews. Then she would pack and go home. Her father awaited her there.

She donned the dress she used on her midnight walks and tied her hair back in a ribbon. She had no time for more.

Kathryn knocked on the drawing room door and opened it at the response to come in. She entered the room to find Lady Dinsmore its sole occupant.

“Do come in, Kate,” Lady Dinsmore’s voice commanded from the love seat. “It is Kate, is it not?” Of course she would want a full explanation.

“Actually, it is Kathryn, my lady, but I will always be Kate to you.”

“No matter what the explanation, Kate, I do not know how to thank you for rescuing my son from the fire.” Real tears rolled down her cheeks. “We surely would have lost him had you not gone back into the burning room. I am indebted to you.” With that, she rose and hugged Kathryn and would not let go until she was cried out.

Kathryn held her until she gathered some semblance of control, then helped her back to the settee. Kathryn sat in a chair across from her. “Ma’am, I do not deserve your thanks. It is what anyone would have done. But pray, could you use your influence with Sir John to treat Jacob...carefully?”

“My dear Kate, still worrying over the little ones. It is just like you.” She pulled a handkerchief out of her sleeve and blew her nose. “I will not deny that he is prodigiously angry with him. But it will burn out very soon, as it usually does.” She rose again and began pacing the room.

“What is it, my lady?”

“Will you explain to me now, please, who you really are and why you have been masquerading in such a fashion?” Kathryn did not think she was angry, more befuddled.

“Lord Dalton did not tell you, ma’am?”

“Oh, dear, is Lord Dalton aware of this? Perhaps I should ask Sir John to come in, as well.”

“That really will not be necessary, Lady Dinsmore. I know his presence sometimes oversets you. I believe I can explain to your satisfaction.” She rose from her chair and began to pace. “Lord Dalton recognized me from when I was in London. I thought he might have given you my name or...what it is he remembers from so long ago.” This was not as easy as she first thought. She asked if she could sit down again, and Lady Dinsmore nodded her assent.

“After my London Season, circumstances occurred requiring me to make a living on my own. I applied for many positions, but was always told I was too young and that my appearance would be a temptation to the men of the household.”

“Because you are so beautiful,” said Lady Dinsmore. It was a statement, not a question.

Kathryn stood again, writhing her hands. “I have always hated that word. I accept the fact that I am passable, but I was naive and did not realize... It makes no difference now. I had to come up with a way I could hide my appearance. As you know, I held two very successful positions before I came to you.”

“That does not explain why you did not reveal this to me when I hired you.”

“My lady, I did not wish to put you in the position of living this lie with me. I did not wish to ever be recognized by anyone among the
ton,
but if
you
knew, it would have made it difficult for you to keep my secret, and it would have been humiliating for me.”

“I see. I owe you a debt for saving my son’s life, but what are we to do now?”

“I will give you my notice today. We must admit that Charity has no need of a companion. She will do as she wishes, and I believe that she will be a success when you take her to Town, despite our...concerns.”

“Let us not be hasty, Kate...Kathryn. I had no plans to terminate your employment—I just wished to know the truth.”

“You have been so much more than kind to me, Lady Dinsmore. But I cannot stay. The decision was made yesterday, even before my identity came to light. I wished, however, to resign as Miss Montgomery, but I would have resigned in any event.”

Lady Dinsmore became anxious. “Kate, you must stay. Indeed, I know you will stay when I tell you our plans. Sir John is exceedingly angry with Charity and her inability to capture the earl. He says he washes his hands of her, and I may take her to Town immediately for
this
Season! I have not told her yet. I wanted to be sure you would remain...but in a different capacity. We want you to be Lacey and Jacob’s governess.”

The tears welled up in Kathryn’s eyes as she realized, once again, the unfortunate timing of circumstances in her life. “My lady,” she said, tears overflowing now. “I am more sorry than you will ever know that I must decline your offer.”

“No, you cannot. You may wear your trappings. We can raise your income. Please, Kate...Kathryn.” Now she began to cry. “You must stay.”

“Lady Dinsmore, my father is very ill, and I wish to take care of him. You must know I love those children as I would my own. I would not turn it down for any other reason, I promise you.”

“Oh, dear, what shall we do?” she asked, waving her handkerchief. “Is there nothing I can say?”

“I am afraid not, my lady. But please know how grateful I am to you for the past four months. I am indebted to you.”

Lady Dinsmore hugged her, mumbling her goodbyes through tears. “You will say goodbye to the children?”

“Of course, Lady Dinsmore. I want you to know that I want to be a part of their lives if you will let me. Perhaps they can come for visits to my father’s house? I do not want to lose them.”

“I will talk to Sir John. It is very disconcerting. How will we explain your changed appearance?”

“They have already seen me and did not even question it. But if they do, I will tell them myself. Thank you, Lady Dinsmore, for everything.” They clung to each other, knowing when they let go all would be changed.

“May I ask if you know where I might find Lord Dalton?” Kathryn asked. “He sent Sally to let me know he wished to see me before he left this morning.”

“I believe he is with the baron in the stables. Perhaps Jarvis knows. Oh, dear, how am I to get Charity to pack and do all of the necessary things for this without you?” She put her handkerchief up to her mouth and ran from the room.

Kathryn had two more interviews before she left, and she did not know how she would survive either.

Tears came to Kathryn’s eyes at the real distress in Lady Dinsmore’s goodbye. Though the last was all about Charity, she understood the backhanded compliment the lady gave her in expressing her concern for the future.

Kathryn spoke the truth when she thanked the lady for her kindness to her. Kathryn was treated with respect by every member of the household, excepting one, and it was not in the usual way of things for a companion to be treated almost as a member of the family, albeit a lower connection.

But she could not think on it for long. There were still two goodbyes to get through, and she dreaded them both.

Those two children meant the world to her. They were the joyous spot in every day for the past four months, and unlike Charity, they needed her. But though she would choose them over almost anyone else in her life, she could not do so to her father. She would be starting a new life together with him, and she thanked God for the reunion that brought them back together.