Beach Blanket Santa (Holiday Brides Series) (5 page)

Sarah padded toward the kitchen in her slippers thinking she’d
heard noises there. But it was after two in the morning. Surely Matt couldn’t
be up? She rounded the corner, then stopped in her tracks. It was Matt standing
nude on the far side of the open refrigerator door! All she could spy from her
position was the top of his gloriously muscled chest, bare shoulders, and his deep
blue eyes peering in her direction.

“Sarah?” he asked with surprise. “What are you doing up?”

She took a giant step back, hands to her cheeks, which felt
as hot as coals. “I…uh…” She dropped her hands with a questioning look. “What
are
you
doing up?”

He glanced downward as if checking something, then once
again met her eyes. It was pretty hard to tell in the dim light of the kitchen,
but Sarah could almost swear his face had colored as well. “I’m just getting a
snack.”

“Do you always eat naked?” she blurted out, the words racing
off her tongue.

A slow, sly grin worked its way across his sexy face. “Not
usually,” he said, shutting the refrigerator door.

Sarah gasped and shut her eyes. “Ah!”

She’d hoped she would hear him making his retreat. Or at
least, goodness knows, grabbing a dishtowel. Instead she just heard silence,
coupled with competing winds.

“Well, they may be a little ratty, but I don’t think my camp
shorts look that bad.”

Sarah peeked between splayed fingers to see he was right. In
fact, what he wore—something akin to boxers—made him look
absolutely terrific. He smiled and held out some cheese. “I was just sitting
down for a bite. Want to join me?”

“Will there be wine involved?” she asked, thinking she
needed it badly. Not a whole lot, just a small glass. Enough to calm her nerves—and
erase the picture she’d just envisioned.

“There could be.”

“Do you think you could put a few more clothes on?”

He laughed warmly. “Anything you’d like. Do you prefer jeans
or sweatpants?”

“Doesn’t matter,” she said, feeling her cheeks warm again.

“Why don’t you pick the wine while I go change?”

Sarah found the corkscrew with unsteady fingers. Staying
here alone with Matt wasn’t nearly as easy as she’d imagined. Every time he
centered those gorgeous blue eyes on hers, the memories came racing back. Most
of them, anyhow.

“Still don’t have it open yet?” Matt asked, resurfacing in
record time. He wore jeans and an old gray sweatshirt. Only his feet were bare
as before.

Sarah grimaced, wrestling with the bottle. “Cork seems to be
stuck.”

“Here, let me help with that.”

He stepped forward to take the bottle, and Sarah’s heart
beat faster. It was hard to forget what being in his arms had been like. More
impossible still to erase the memory of his kiss.

Matt easily opened the wine and poured them each a glass.
Once he’d set some cheese and crackers on a platter, they each settled down on
one of the barstools abutting the center island.

“I’m sorry I walked in on you that way,” Sarah began.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. You had no way to know I
was out here.”

“No.”

It niggled at Sarah that neither of them had brought up their
previous night together. Her practical side longed to finally clear the air,
but her more emotional self wasn’t sure she could take it. Being told by a guy
why you weren’t appealing to him was never a joy. Although she’d guessed her
besotted behavior had something to do with it, she’d always had a feeling
there’d been something more. Something else about that evening she hadn’t
completely understood.

They sat for a moment in awkward silence, both nibbling on
cheese and crackers as the storm continued to rage outdoors. At this pace,
there’d be no getting out of here tomorrow, or maybe even the day after that. Though
it was hard to focus on leaving with the soft light from the kitchen
surrounding Sarah in its homey glow. She looked so sweet sitting there in her
pajama pants and sweatshirt, just like a vision from a dream. He’d watched her
dreaming once before.

“Sarah?” he asked, then sipped from his wine. “Can I ask you
a question?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Why did you tell me to go?”

She glanced at him, taken aback, as if she hadn’t expected
the question. “Me?”

“Yes. You
.
And
that was after a whole night of you begging me to—”

“Matt, I don’t see why you…” She set down her wine, seeming
to grow uncomfortable. “What I mean is, that’s all ancient history.”

He set down his wine as well and laid his hand on top of
hers. “Is it?”

Her cheeks colored slightly. “I’m not sure what you want me
to say. That wasn’t me. I’m normally not like that.”

“Let’s hope not!” he said with a laugh.

She withdrew her hand, affronted. “What do you mean?”

“All sick and pukey? Most girls wouldn’t want to live
through that twice.”

“Sick and…?” Her voice fell off with the shock.

“Yes, Sarah. You were deathly ill. All over your bridesmaid’s
dress, in fact. I had to take it off to clean it.”

“I what?”

“That’s probably why you repeatedly begged me to
please forget this in the morning.
”

“I said that?”

“Well, yeah, between, you know…” He motioned with his hands,
and she got the picture. “Not that I totally blamed you. I wasn’t up for
remembering certain parts of it myself. Hang on, are you saying you don’t
remember?”

She shook her head, her cheeks blazing brightly.

“Not even the part about making me swear I’d leave, just get
out of your life, and never breathe a word about it to anybody?”

She pursed her lips, struggling with a murky memory. “I
remember making you swear, swear…something.” Big brown eyes met his. “But to be
honest with you, Matt, most of the night is a great big blur.”

“Then it’s a good thing nothing happened between us,” he
said, lightly teasing. “For most men, that admission could be a killer.”

Her eyes lit with understanding. “So…we didn’t?”

“No.” He cocked his chin to the side. “We didn’t. Not that I
didn’t want to, mind you. Especially when we first got back to your place, and
you kissed me like a house on fire. Heck, I’m only human. But, I wouldn’t have.
Never like that. Not once I realize your condition.”

“And all this time I thought…” She heaved a sigh of relief.
“But, no?”

“Is that why you told me to leave?” he asked, his voice
growing husky with the truth. “Because you thought I’d taken advantage of you?”

“I never blamed you. I thought it was both of us.”

“Oh, it was both of us, all right. Just not in the way that
you imagined.”

She stared at him deeply, apology in her eyes. “I’m so
sorry. I had no idea.”

“I had no idea either,” he said softly. “No clue why you
gave me the boot. While you’d told me to go throughout the night, I’d taken
that to be the liquor—and possibly embarrassment—talking. I thought
for sure once you woke up and saw things straight, we’d talk things out, maybe
even laugh about them. But instead, you just handed me my coat and said—”

“I think you should go.” She hung her head, seeming to
relive the moment.

“The truth is, I thought that we’d been getting along. Maybe
had started something.”

She raised her eyes to his. In the ensuing quiet, Matt
thought he could hear every drop of rain pinging on the tin roof. When she
finally spoke, her lips trembled, and it was all Matt could do not to lean
forward and kiss them. “I thought we’d started something too. But sometimes
life has other plans, you know?”

He nodded like he understood, but the truth of the matter
was he didn’t. “Was there somebody else at the time?”

She shook her head. “How about you?”

“Not then, for me either.” He studied her for a long beat.
“And now?”

“I’m not seeing anyone, if that’s what you mean.”

He captured her in his gaze, wondering if there was a way they
could start over. There had clearly been an attraction between them in the
beginning. “Me either.”

“Matt,” she said sincerely, “I really apologize for what
happened that night, and also for the way I judged you afterward. It wasn’t
fair. None of it was fair. I see that now.”

“We all make mistakes.”

One of the biggest he’d made was failing to pursue things
with Sarah. He might have called the next day. Attempted to see her. Instead,
he’d just up and walked away from what could have been the best thing in his
life. Then, within the next few weeks, he’d met Katya.

“Thank you for saying that. That’s really gracious,
considering the trouble I put you through.”

“No trouble. I’m sure you would have done the same,” he said,
knowing that would have proved logistically difficult. Matt tried to imagine
the petite Sarah hoisting his large frame across the room and depositing it in bed,
and chuckled out loud.

“I know,” she said, smiling softly. “Pretty hard to imagine,
huh?”

“Yeah.”

“How do you think the roads will look tomorrow?”

“I’ll check at first light.”

Chapter Four

The next morning, Matt bent toward the washed-out road,
wearing his rain slicker. Water streamed from the front of his hood, cascading
down his nose. It was still pouring. Somehow it seemed twice as hard as
yesterday. Nobody could get traction on this stretch of beach now. Not even a
ranger’s four-wheel drive could do it. He was here for the duration. Another
day or two at least. He supposed he’d have to break the news to Sarah but hoped
she wouldn’t take it badly. She’d seemed more at ease in his company this
morning, after they’d cleared the air about Elaine’s wedding last night.
Perhaps her appearing on edge before had to do with her misunderstanding what
had really happened. Matt felt a whole lot better fully knowing what had
happened as well.

He glanced back toward the house through a curtain of rain
as thunder rumbled above. Bright light burned through each window, like warming
lanterns speckling the storm. If things looked this bad here, they could be
even worse down at the docks. He’d need to call and check on the status of the
ferry. He figured Sarah would want to make it home for Christmas Day with her
family, and he’d more or less promised Robert he’d share it with him and his
wife. For the moment, though, he’d just need to make his way indoors to keep
from getting further drenched.

“How does it look?” she asked when Matt stepped inside.

Matt removed his dripping coat and held it outside the door,
shaking it hard. “Not good. That road won’t be passable today.”

“Oh.” Sarah tried to frame her response as mild disappointment,
but inwardly her mood lightened. All night long, she’d relived Matt’s words telling
her he wasn’t taken, as if he’d been hinting he wanted to give things with her
another go. It was possible she’d misread his signals. There was an equal
chance that, even if she hadn’t, she wasn’t fully ready. Ready to take the risk
of telling the truth to yet another man.

Matt picked up the landline mounted on the kitchen wall and
started to dial. “I think I’d better call the ferry and see what the status of
things is there.”

While Sarah couldn’t hear the other side of the
conversation, she could imagine as Matt creased his brow and said, “Uh-huh. Um-hmm.
I see.

“I’m sorry, Sarah,” he told her, hanging up the phone. “It
seems the docks took quite a beating. They don’t think the boat will be running
again before the end of the week.”

“End of the week? But that means—”

“Looks like we’re stuck here for Christmas.” He shrugged
apologetically. “I’m sure that’s the last thing you had in mind.”

Actually, the only plans that she had involved spending
another uncomfortable holiday with her mom and her mom’s new boyfriend. Not
that they
tried
to make her feel in
the way. It was just that it was pretty clear they enjoyed spending time alone,
making Sarah feel like a third wheel. A lovely fantasy began unfolding before
her… Just her and Matt, and a big, wonderful Christmas tree, dotted with shiny
lights… Then reality sank in, and Sarah realized they had no tree or presents
or stockings to hang from the mantel. And here she was acting like she’d
already had three hits of eggnog. With bourbon! “Are you sure?” she asked,
trying not to sound overly hopeful.

Matt studied her with a frown. “You’re pretty disappointed.
I can understand that. You probably have family plans.”

Her mom didn’t even decorate for Christmas and had never
really believed in the holiday for myriad reasons. So, they typically ordered
take-out Chinese and watched a movie in front of the fake fire. That was the
only sort of family holiday Sarah was used to.

“My family’s plans will likely go on without me,” she
answered truthfully. “But what about yours?”

Matt laughed, stepping out of his drenched boots. “Oh, I think
Robert, Margaret, and their new baby will manage just fine.”

“You weren’t planning to go to Chicago?” she asked,
remembering the large, happy family she’d met at Elaine’s first wedding.

“My brother and sisters and I sent our folks on an
anniversary trip to Tuscany this year. It’s their fortieth anniversary.”

“Oh, how sweet!” she said, meaning it absolutely. Sarah
tried but couldn’t imagine what that would be like. Being a part of such a
warm, loving family and having parents who’d stayed together for that many
years. She didn’t even remember her father, and her mom refused to say much
about him. The men she remembered growing up with were a series of short-term
boyfriends for her mom, none of whom ever stuck around. Sarah had liked one of
the early ones when she’d been a kid. His name had been Joey, and he’d a few
daughters of his own. He was a kind man who’d seemed to take an interest in
Sarah from the start. He took her out for ice cream with his own girls and had
even taught her how to ride a bike. He’d been a good guy but somehow not good
enough for her mom. She’d thrown him over for Fred just about the time Sarah
got off her training wheels.