Bad News Cowboy (40 page)

I can't think of a better way to show you that than to leave everything with you. I know I said you couldn't handle it, but I was wrong. I don't know what you've been up to all these years but I know you did good.

Dad

Jake's hands were shaking when he put the letter down. There was no explanation there. No grand answers. No declaration of familial love, but then, that just wasn't in his dad's nature.

But there was something better than that.

His dad had trusted that he'd turned out okay. Had trusted that he could leave all of his properties with him, and that he wouldn't make a hash of it. Had trusted he wouldn't burn anything down.

He looked around the room, and things suddenly seemed different to him.

He wished his dad had sent the letters. And Jake wished he had come back at some point while his father was alive. But he'd been afraid. He had been afraid that he wouldn't be able to fix it. Afraid that no apology would ever be enough. It would've been. He realized that now. On both sides,
I'm sorry
would have fixed a lot of things. Talking would've fixed a lot of things.

He had been planning on riding out of town today. Had been planning on leaving today much the way he'd left fifteen years earlier.

But he wasn't going to do that now. He wasn't going to leave things unsaid. Not again.

Fifteen years ago he'd been nothing more than a scared boy. Running away from mistakes he'd made, letting someone else's words dictate how he felt about himself. Dictate who he was going to be. He'd spent all that time away licking his wounds and trying to become worthy of something. Anything.

And he'd come back trying to show them. Show them all that he'd changed when what he'd really done was hide.

But he had someone who thought he was worthy already. And that was worth more than a mechanic shop in Seattle. It was worth more than anything. And if it wasn't too late, he had to see if he could prove that to her.

Something Cassie had said was moving through his mind, over and over again. She hadn't been brave enough to fight. Because she'd been too afraid to fail. And that was what he'd been doing, for the past fifteen years. All under the guise of being a better man. He had convinced himself that what he was doing was protecting the world. From his anger, from his emotions. But what he had really been doing was protecting himself. Selling himself short.

Well, he wasn't going to do that anymore.

He wanted Cassie Ventimiglia, and while he wasn't entirely certain any man could be worthy of her, he was going to go and get her.

Because without her nothing mattered. Without love, nothing mattered.

CHAPTER TEN

C
ASSIE
WAS
EXHAUSTED
by the time her shift ended. Emotionally and physically. She loved working in the coffee shop, and the only thing she ever would have traded it for was Jake Caldwell, but that didn't mean it didn't take its toll.

Making coffee with a broken heart was especially taxing.

She walked out from behind the counter and was about to turn the sign in the window when she saw a very familiar figure walking toward the door. She froze, unsure of whether she should scamper back behind the counter and hide, or if she should jerk the door open and fling herself into his arms. Probably she should find a middle ground. She wasn't good at middle ground with Jake.

No, considering they'd gone from bickering to her telling him she loved him in the space of only a few weeks, it was pretty clear middle ground was not a place they could inhabit.

Since she couldn't decide on a course of action, she was sort of standing there staring like a deer caught in the headlights. And it did not take long for him to notice her.

“Crap crappity crap,” she said under her breath.

And Jake just kept moving closer. He pushed open the door and came face-to-face with her, his blue eyes intense.

“I have something to say to you.”

“I hope it isn't more mean things,” she said. “Because I'm kind of over that.”

“No, and I'm sorry there were mean things. Any mean things. You didn't deserve mean things.”

“I know,” she said, her heart thundering heavily.

“I think I had a revelation.”

“Well, this should be interesting.” She crossed her arms beneath her breasts, trying to stay immune to his apology, trying not to melt. Trying to look casual, and not like she was dying to hear the words he was about to say. Really, when people had news to deliver, they should just get to the point instead of making a big song and dance about it.

“I went back to the house this morning. I was going to leave. I had made my decision. I was going to pay someone to finish cleaning up the property, and I was going to leave this building to you.”

Shock speared her in the chest. “Jake, I never wanted charity. I never wanted you to give me the building. I wanted to buy it.”

“I know. I know you didn't want anything unreasonable. But I wanted to leave it to you. Because this is your blood, sweat and tears. This is all your work. The reason the building matters is because of what you've done. You should be proud of yourself.”

She felt a warm glow in her chest. “I am.”

“Good. I'm glad about that. But I changed my mind.”

“Jake, this is pretty close to being mean. You said you weren't going to be mean.”

“You can still have the building. It's just that I decided not to leave.”

“What?” The warmth was growing now, spreading through her, and it felt an awful lot like hope.

“When I went back to the house today, I was going through some paperwork that I knew I needed to take care of before I let anyone else in. I found a letter from my dad.”

All of the breath rushed out of her body. “What did it say?”

“The long and the short of it? He apologized. And I realized that we could have been spared a lot of years of hurt, if we hadn't been such idiots. There are a lot of mistakes that can't be fixed, a lot of hurts that can't be erased completely, but
I'm sorry
is a pretty good Band-Aid. I wish we would've at least tried to put it on there.”

“I don't need an apology from you, Jake.”

“Well, that's good, because I don't want to give you an apology. Well, I do. But that's not all I want to give you.”

She took a deep breath. “What do you want to give me?”

In response, he took a step toward her, gripped her arms and pulled her toward him, dropping a kiss on her lips. It was deep, hard and short. Over way too soon.

“I'm a little confused now,” she said.

“I love you.”

Her mouth fell open. “Say it again.”

“I love you, Cassie. I did last night when I sent you away, when I told you I couldn't love you. I was lying because I was afraid. And like you said, because I didn't think I was worthy. I'm still not sure I am, but I want more. You're the bravest person I've ever known. You're overcoming things instead of letting them own you.”

He took a deep breath. “I thought if I left Copper Ridge I would escape all of the bad shit in my life. But all of my demons came with me because they weren't really about this place, they weren't really about my dad. They lived inside of me. I've spent a long time just trying to get by. Protecting myself from wanting anything too badly. Because I didn't want to be hurt again. I loved my dad, and he rejected me. I messed things up. And I've spent all these years afraid that I would do something like that again. Afraid that if I ever loved anyone all it would do was push them away. That they would find out I wasn't good enough. And Cassie, the last thing I wanted was to see your love for me turn into indifference, or worse, contempt.”

“That's never going to happen.” She hurt for him, for the pain he'd been through. For the pain they both had been through. “I saw you. Even then.”

“I think it's kind of amazing that you did.”

“We've always had a lot more in common than we realized.”

“I don't want to be safe anymore, not if it means being alone. Not if it means not having you.”

Cassie looked into his eyes, at the sincerity there, at the love. No one had ever looked at her that way before. Like she was everything they could ever want. It was exhilarating, and terrifying. And she wanted it to last more than anything. “What about your mechanic shop? I don't want you to give up anything for me. I know what it's like to be responsible for crushing somebody's dream. I worry that my mother always regretted choosing me over the man she was in love with. I don't want to be in that position with you.”

“First of all, you're the only choice. That's all there is to it. Second of all, I can open a mechanic shop anywhere. It was never about that, really. That was a thing that I could pour myself into, that didn't cost me very much in terms of my emotions. I wanted it, I worked for it. But it only mattered because it gave me something to do that wasn't dealing with my shit.”

“I can kind of understand that.”

“Well, it would figure. Since you were about as emotionally messed up as I am.”

“Hey, I've been working on myself for a couple of years now. I'm a little more advanced than you are.”

He laughed. “I suppose you are.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I figured we could break down the partitions between the apartments. Live up there. You could continue to run The Grind. I could assist. I've learned how to make scones. Maybe I'll open a mechanic shop. Right here in town. And if your car breaks down, I will be here to help.”

“A live-in mechanic... That is tempting, Jake, I won't lie.”

“I thought it might be.”

She chewed her thumbnail. “Are you worried about your reputation? About what people will think of you? I mean, we don't have to stay here. We can go anywhere you want.”

“No,” he said, his voice firm. “This is your home. And mine. I want to stay here. Anything else would be running. And I don't really care what anyone else thinks. I have changed. And I can prove it to them. I'm not afraid to do that.”

“I'm so proud of you, Jake. I really am.”

“Are you afraid of what people might think of you being with me? Of what your mother might think?”

She laughed. “Unfortunately, it's not even a very fair test. My mom will just be happy I'm with someone. As far as she's concerned relationships are the holy grail. And as for everyone else? They'll learn to love you. Otherwise I won't serve them coffee. And I'll save all the muffins for you. All your detractors will be muffinless.”

“That's a pretty intense threat.”

“And I mean it. You're mine, Jake Caldwell. You aren't a bad boy, you're my man. My very good man. And I'm proud of you.”

“And you, Cassie Ventimiglia, are most definitely your own woman. And I wouldn't have you any other way.”

“I love you, Jake.”

“I love you, too, Cassie.” He took her into his arms and kissed her, long and deep, the kiss they should've shared fifteen years ago. “Even if it came a little late, I'm glad it happened.” He had obviously been thinking the same thing.

“Maybe it didn't come late. Maybe it came at just the right time.”

“That's right. I think maybe we both had to go on a journey before we were ready to meet here.”

“If that's the case, then you're just in time.”

He brushed his hand over her cheek, and she went ahead and let herself melt. She wasn't going to hold back. Not with him. “That's good to know. I don't have a white horse. I have a Harley and I'm not exactly a white knight...”

“I'm fine with that. I like you with an edge. I'd never ask you to be anything different.”

He tightened his hold on her, his blue eyes intent on hers. “In that case, are you ready to ride off into the sunset with me?”

Cassie leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I'm ready to ride with you forever.”

Jake smiled, a true smile that she felt all the way down to her toes. “Forever sounds just about right.”

EPILOGUE

P
EOPLE
HAD
BEEN
complimenting Cassie on her engagement ring all day. It wasn't getting old. She doubted it ever would. This time around was so much different from the first time she'd gotten married.

Because this was Jake, and there was no one like Jake. And because Cassie finally felt like herself. Which was a much better place to be in when you were pledging yourself to someone forever and ever.

The past six months had been the best of her life, no question. Business at The Grind was booming, they'd set a date for their wedding, and Jake was about to open his very own mechanic shop.

Happily, it hadn't taken any time at all for the citizens of Copper Ridge to accept that Jake Caldwell was most definitely good people. If her stamp of approval hadn't done it, Jake's work ethic most certainly had.

Well, and some of it probably had to do with the fact that he was smoking hot. Even though he was taken, it didn't mean that the women in town didn't enjoy getting their car worked on by the best-looking mechanic in a hundred-mile radius. Possibly in the entire world. But she might be biased.

Though she didn't think so.

The door to the coffee shop opened, and a familiar but elusive face walked in. Unlike his brother Eli, Connor Garrett was rarely around these days. He rubbed his hand over his beard and approached the counter, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He looked like he had lost weight.

It was no secret that the past couple of years had been rough for him.

“Hi, Connor, what brings you in?”

His gaze landed on her left hand. “Engaged?”

Classic Connor, not very talkative.

“Yes, recently.”

“Congratulations. Nice when you find that special someone.” His voice was gruff, definitely not projecting much joy. But she couldn't say she blamed him.

“I would say so. What can I get for you?”

“Just a coffee. I'm meeting Liss here in a little bit to discuss some business things.”

“Oh, she helping you with some accounting for the ranch?”

“No. If everything goes smoothly, we're going to be renting out one of the houses on the property to be used as a bed-and-breakfast.”

The idea of more lodging right near town definitely appealed to Cassie. The Garrett Ranch was a couple of miles inland, but it was close enough that a B and B on the property would probably benefit The Grind.

“That's a great idea, Connor!” She handed him his coffee and he took it with a curt nod.

“It's not a bad one.” And she had a feeling that was the friendliest remark she would get out of him.

He turned and walked to a table, taking a seat and busying himself by staring fixedly at the table's surface, not making eye contact with anyone.

The door opened again and Jake came in, covered in grease and wearing a broad smile.

Cassie leaned over the counter. “Kiss me, but don't touch me.”

“You don't ask for much, do you?” He leaned in, careful to let only their lips touch and nothing else.

“I do. I ask for a whole lot. At least I do now.”

“And I'm so glad you do. Because if you hadn't, Cassie, I would've let you get away. You were the braver of the two of us. You have no idea how happy I am about that.”

“And you have no idea how happy I am that you are ready to stop running.”

“That's right, honey. The only running I'm going to do from now on is going to be to run toward you.”

She'd always lived in Copper Ridge. From the moment she was born, and she couldn't imagine ever living anywhere else. But it was Jake that made Copper Ridge truly feel like home.

Because he was here. And he had her heart. Now and always.

* * * * *

Read on for an extract from BROKEDOWN COWBOY by Maisey Yates