Baby It's Cold Outside (18 page)

‘Are you okay?' Jamie asked suddenly. ‘You're very quiet.'

‘I'm fine,' I said. ‘It's just going to take a bit of time to get used to the idea that I'm not going to be the one who gives birth to your first child.'

Jamie got up and came round to my side of the table to give me a hug.

‘I know sweetheart. It's all a shock and you have been amazing. You're the best wife anyone could ask for.'

‘I'm not your wife yet, so don't count your chickens,' I said. ‘The way we're going, anything could happen. There aren't any other ex-fiancées in your life, are there?'

Jamie chuckled.

‘Nope,' he said. ‘All my skeletons are well and truly out of the closet. What about yours?'

I shuddered.

‘God, you know all about the very worst of me,' I said.

‘So are we still getting married?'

I nodded.

‘Try and bloody stop me,' I said.

Wednesday

Chapter 26

Jamie was quiet on the short drive home and I wondered if he was thinking about Tansy and Parker. We had woken up early and starving, and headed up to the slopes again for another bacon sandwich and a few more runs down the mountain. Then, at lunchtime, we regretfully agreed it was time to pack up and head home.

‘That was wonderful,' I sighed as we got into the car. ‘I wish we didn't have to go.'

‘I know,' Jamie said, as he put the car in gear and carefully eased it out on to the snowy road. ‘We'll come back soon.'

And then he didn't really speak again. I stared out of the window and wondered if he'd realised I was hiding something. I knew I had to tell him the truth and I knew I had to tell him now. Of course being me, I left it far too late and I only started to speak as we reached the bottom of the mountain, close to Mum's house. Jamie had obviously had something on his mind too because we both spoke at the same time.

‘Ez.'

‘Jamie.'

‘You first,' I said. Coward.

‘I was wondering about your dad's RAF contacts,' he said. It was so far away from what I thought he was about to say that I blinked at him in surprise.

‘Oh, right,' I said.

‘He used to know people up here, didn't he? If he's still got contacts up here, one of them might know someone with a helicopter that they could use,' Jamie explained.

‘That's a brilliant idea,' I said, beaming with relief that he hadn't been stewing over Parker. ‘Let's ask him.'

Jamie glanced at me.

‘What were you going to say?' he said.

But he was already indicating and pulling into Mum's driveway, and I chickened out again. This was getting ridiculous. In fact, I think it was because I was cross with myself that I blew up at Tansy later. She didn't deserve me to erupt at her the way I did. Well, she deserved it a bit. But maybe I didn't have to be so horrible.

We unloaded our bags and went into the house, our phones beeping madly as we suddenly picked up a signal again.

I had a message from Leona asking me to go to her shop later and I bashed out a reply saying I'd be there. Jamie was scanning his messages too, and he suddenly gasped.

‘Frankie,' he said, showing me the phone.

“On my way,” the message read.

‘When did he send it?' I asked. Jamie checked.

‘Last night,' he said. ‘Probably just as we were…'

With a cheeky grin he pulled me towards him and kissed me, his hands stroking my waist and then heading downwards to my bum.

‘When do you have to be at Leona's,' he asked, his mouth close to mine.

‘Oh not for ages and ages,' I giggled.

We turned to head up the stairs, just as Tansy was coming down.

‘Oh you're back,' she said.

Jamie and I sprung apart. I looked at my feet. I felt a bit like I'd been caught snogging by my mum.

‘Parker missed you,' Tansy said.

And that's when I lost my temper.

‘Oh did he?' I said. ‘Did he really?'

Tansy looked alarmed. Jamie took my hand.

‘Calm down, Ez,' he said.

I shook him off.

‘No,' I said. ‘I won't. We have had a lovely night away. One measly night and I will not have her making you feel guilty about it. Not when she's already ruined our wedding week just by turning up. You are blameless in all of this – you didn't even know Parker existed until a few days ago and now she expects you to just put your whole life on hold to get to know him, when you might never…'

I stopped. I'd been about to say Jamie might never see him again, but I couldn't quite say the words. Tansy, though, was staring at me in horror and Jamie was looking at her, a look of hurt and confusion on his handsome face.

‘Might never what?' he said, still looking at Tansy. ‘Might never see my son again?'

Tansy shook her head, tears in her eyes.

‘No,' she said. ‘I would never take him away from you.'

Realising I'd opened an enormous can of worms that would clearly take a long time to close up again, and that we were all standing in the hall, I steered Tansy and Jamie into the kitchen, sat them down at the table and put the kettle on.

They were staring at each other, not speaking. I knew I was taking a massive risk but I crouched down and fished the remains of Mum's chocolate cake out of my bag. I unwrapped it, still bending down, and with my back to Jamie and Tansy, waggled my fingers gently – breathing the words to a truth charm as I did. Tiny sparkles fell on to the cake and the air around me seemed to sigh. I stood up, hoping Jamie and Tansy were too caught up in their thoughts to sense anything different. Tansy was watching me, her dark eyes quizzical. She couldn't possibly have seen anything, I told myself, giving her a wide-eyed, innocent smile, and luckily that did seem to be the case.

I plonked the teapot, mugs and the milk jug on the table, threw slices of chocolate cake on to plates and pushed them in front of them.

‘Eat,' I said. ‘And talk.'

Jamie looked at me.

‘I'm not hungry,' he said.

‘It'll help,' I said pointedly. ‘Mum always says cake makes difficult conversations easier.'

Jamie gave me a look that told me he knew what I'd done and he wasn't happy about it, but nevertheless, he picked up a bit of cake and nibbled it. Tansy did the same. I relaxed slightly, leaning against the work surface.

‘I've been meaning to tell you,' Tansy said. ‘I just didn't know where to start.'

I resisted the temptation to butt in. I was fairly certain she'd never have breathed a word if it wasn't for my finding Parker's birth certificate.

Tansy took a breath.

‘I've been a mess, J,' she said. ‘For years. I didn't know what I was doing really. I was just working and caring for Parker and not looking after myself, not really. When I came home from Africa I was all over the place. My head was a mess, physically I was wiped out. I just went along with whatever Mom and Dad wanted to do.'

‘Meaning?' Jamie said.

Tansy ate another piece of cake.

‘I didn't tell you I was pregnant,' she whispered. ‘And I didn't put your name on the birth certificate. Dad said it would be easier, later…'

‘Later?' Jamie's face was grey and his voice was cold.

‘If I met someone who wanted to adopt Parker,' Tansy said. She was looking down at her plate, where only crumbs remained. I sent up silent thanks that the truth charm was so effective.

‘And now you've met Michael?' Jamie said. I'd only heard his voice as icy as that a handful of times in my life – once when Tansy had arrived, and another time when I'd hurt him in the most humiliating and heartbreaking way. Now it made me shiver.

Tansy nodded.

‘I've met Michael,' she said.

‘And he wants to adopt Parker?'

‘He does,' Tansy said. ‘I'm sorry.'

Jamie shook his head.

‘Why are you even here?' he said. ‘Why come at all? You could have just gone ahead with the adoption and I'd never have known.'

Tansy wrapped her fingers round her mug of tea, though she didn't drink it. She looked up at the ceiling and I thought she was trying not to cry.

‘So many reasons,' she said. ‘Michael. Parker. Daddy. But the biggest one is that I wanted you to know. I've always thought of you as Parker's dad and I wanted you to have a relationship. I've never pretended to him – he knows Michael's not his biological father.'

Jamie breathed out and I sensed he was beginning to soften again.

‘Look,' I said. ‘There's a lot for you guys to discuss so I'm going to give you my professional opinion.'

Jamie gave me a brief smile.

‘People pay a lot for that,' he said to Tansy. ‘We should be grateful we're getting it for free.'

Tansy looked terrified and I was slightly glad.

‘Given the circumstances,' I said. ‘We need to do everything absolutely by the book from now on. As soon as things get back to normal, we're going to need a DNA test to confirm Jamie is Parker's dad.'

Jamie looked at Tansy. She shrugged.

‘He's definitely yours,' she said. ‘But I'm happy to do the test.'

‘I've got a colleague in the States who can help us with custody agreements,' I continued. ‘And you need to put a stop to Michael's adoption application. Can you phone the court this afternoon?'

Looking a bit shell shocked, Tansy agreed.

‘I'll have to call Michael too,' she said. ‘He'll be upset.'

I didn't care.

‘We can include him in the custody agreements,' I said. ‘We can make him part of Parker's life officially. But he can't be Parker's dad. That's Jamie.'

Tansy and Jamie looked at each other, then they both looked up at me expectantly.

‘You need to talk about it,' I said gently. ‘I can draw up official papers, but you need to decide how you're going to be parents to Parker given that you live on opposite sides of an enormous ocean.'

I kissed Jamie's temple and gave Tansy a quick smile.

‘I'm going to leave you to it,' I said. ‘I've got a wedding dress fitting to go to.'

Jamie caught my hand as I turned to leave.

‘Thanks, Ez,' he said.

Tansy smiled the first genuine smile I thought she'd given anyone except Parker since she arrived.

‘Thanks,' she said.

Chapter 27

It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I jumped into Mum's car and drove down the road towards town. The wheels crunched on the grit scattered by the snowplough and I sang along to a rubbish song on the radio. I was really looking forward to seeing how Leona and her team of willing helpers were getting on with my dress, Jamie was sorting out everything with Tansy, we'd had the most wonderful night away, and things were good.

Well, most things, I thought, as I got nearer to town and saw the huge mound of snow looming over the road in the distance. There was still Dad to sort out. And god only knew where bloody Frankie was.

I parked in the town square, noticing Millicent nailing a laminated sign to a lamp post as I passed. I had a feeling it had something to do with the wedding by the way she gaily waved at me and gestured to it while I locked the car. I waved back and pointed towards Leona's shop, hoping she wouldn't want me to discuss strategies for salads or anything similar. Then I scurried down the lane towards the shop.

It was a hive of activity. Sewing machines buzzed in her small workshop out in the back, and there were two dressmakers' dummies standing on the shop floor – one with a bridesmaid's dress draped on it, and the other with my wedding dress. Leona was on the floor with a mouth full of pins, wrestling with the hem on the blue dress.

‘Oh Leona,' I said, circling the dummies and smiling from ear to ear. ‘They're so beautiful.'

Leona stuck a final pin in the hem, and got to her feet, brushing fluff from her knees.

‘We're doing okay,' she said, nodding. ‘This is Chloe's dress actually. I've pinned and trimmed Harry's already. She's a scrawny one.'

I giggled.

‘She does a lot of yoga,' I said, picturing Harry's sinewy frame. ‘She's very strong.'

Leona winked at me.

‘I'm sure she is,' she said. ‘Anyway, my team of willing helpers are stitching Harry's now, and then they'll do Chloe's. I'm going to do yours, though. I just wanted to check all my alterations before I started cutting.'

I headed to the changing room once more and stripped off, while Leona carefully lifted the dress from the dummy and then draped it over my head, trying not to spear me with the many, many pins that were holding it together.

‘I've let it out all the way round,' Leona explained, zipping up the back – I was pleased to see it actually did up this time – and looking at the dress with a critical eye. ‘But I think I need to take it in across the bust.'

I glanced down at my flattish chest where the dress gaped a little. Leona began pinning it neatly so it lay flat.

‘It looks amazing,' I said. ‘You're amazing.'

Leona beamed.

‘Right, take it off,' she said. ‘We don't have time to stand around admiring it.'

I turned round so she could unzip me, and wiggled my hips as she edged it down. Then I dived back into my clothes again, because it was freezing. As I pulled my jumper over my head, my phone rang. Chloe.

‘Hello Ugly,' I said happily. ‘I'm looking at the most gorgeous bridesmaid's dress here, so we need to work out a way to get you in it.'

Chloe made a funny noise.

‘Frnughns eeeere.'

‘Pardon?' I said.

‘Frnughns eeeere.'

‘Erm, nope. Are you okay, Chloe?'

‘Frankie. Is. Here,' she hissed.

‘Where?' I said.

‘Here,' Chloe wailed. ‘In my living room. With my husband.'