Baby It's Cold Outside (14 page)

Harry looked serious.

‘I've always felt a bit guilty,' she said. ‘For you and Jamie not getting married before. I kind of felt responsible.'

I turned to face her.

‘It wasn't your fault,' I said. I'd got involved – sort of unwillingly – with Harry's former business partner, which had led to me and Jamie splitting up for a while. It was a long story and really quite messy. I didn't like talking about it, which was why Harry and I never really mentioned it.

‘But I was the one who brought Xander into our lives,' she said, chewing her bottom lip.

I gave her a small smile.

‘I think he would have arrived whether you wanted him to or not,' I pointed out. Xander had been determined, to say the least.

Harry sighed.

‘I know,' she said. ‘I just wanted to make it up to you, that's all. I couldn't bear the idea of another wedding being cancelled.'

‘I appreciate it,' I said, taking her hand. ‘I really do. But don't feel responsible. Nothing Xander did was your fault.'

She nodded.

‘Just as long as you know I'm sorry,' she said.

‘I know.'

Chapter 19

Leona came bustling back into the room with some dresses draped over her arm and a pair of shoes in her hand.

‘You've got your wedding shoes, right?' she said. I nodded. I'd bought them in Harvey Nicks in Edinburgh. They were – a bit kookily, which was very unlike me – a beautiful deep, dark blue. I had thought they would count as my “something blue” and would hardly be seen under my dress.

‘They're blue,' I told Leona now, frowning. ‘I thought no one would see, but this dress is short.'

The Audrey Hepburn dress I was wearing showed off my feet. My blue shoes would be well and truly on display.

Leona looked thoughtful.

‘I can make a blue belt,' she said. ‘Bring me the shoes tomorrow and I'll try to match the colour. It'll look great.'

‘Okay,' I said. It seemed my wedding was going to be anything but traditional, so I may as well embrace it.

‘And,' said Leona. ‘How about we go for blue bridesmaids' dresses?'

She draped the dresses on her arm over the back of a chair and began leafing through them.

‘Ah ha,' she said, pulling one out. ‘Like this?'

The dress was perhaps a shade lighter than my shoes, but it was close. It was strapless and quite plain, with a full-length skirt.

‘Put it on,' Leona said to Harry, who was already pulling off her jeans.

She wriggled into the dress, which was huge on her lean, yoga-honed frame. Leona pulled in the back tightly and clipped it with a giant bulldog clip.

‘I'll cut the skirt off,' she said, looping up the bottom so Harry's dress was a similar length to mine. And insert a panel to make it fuller, and more 1950s-style. I can make a belt for your dress from this fabric too – then you'll all match.'

‘What about Chloe?' I asked. ‘I'm not even sure if she's going to make it.'

‘I've got another dress like this in the store room,' Leona said. ‘And I've got all Chloe's measurements. We can make one for her, just in case.'

‘Would you do that, really?'

‘Of course,' said Leona. ‘But I'm going to need some help.'

Harry whipped out the iPad.

‘I've made a list of people with sewing machines,' she said. ‘There are quite a few people who have volunteered to help with the alterations. I'll email everyone and copy you in, then you can divide up the work that needs doing.'

I looked at Harry in admiration. She really was amazing. She saw me looking and stuck her tongue out at me. Not that amazing, after all.

We took the dresses off again, and hung them up, then Leona made a pot of tea and we sat down to drink it, chatting as Leona sketched out the alterations she was planning.

‘So tell me, Esme,' she said, casually, as she drew a woman who looked just like Harry with a few strokes of her pencil. ‘Who's this Tansy?'

‘What have you heard?' I asked, suspicious about the way the Claddach network of gossips worked.

‘Oh not much,' Leona said, filling in Harry's skirt with a blue pencil and not looking at me. ‘Just that she's Jamie's ex.'

Now she looked up.

‘And she's got a little boy.'

I sighed.

‘Is the wee boy Jamie's?' Leona asked. Anyone else would have seemed nosy, but Leona was so trustworthy and had been so good to me that I didn't resent her interest at all.

‘She says he's Jamie's,' I began. ‘His name is Parker and he's a lovely little lad.'

Harry looked at me curiously.

‘What do you mean “she says”,' she asked. ‘I didn't realise there was any doubt.'

‘I got hold of Parker's birth certificate,' I explained. ‘His middle name is James, but Jamie isn't named on it as his father.'

‘Ah,' said Harry. Leona looked confused.

‘Why wouldn't she put his name on it?' she asked.

I poured more tea into my cup and took a biscuit. Harry frowned at me.

‘Do you need that biscuit?' she said. ‘Think of that dress.'

I bit into my bourbon in defiance.

‘And it gets worse,' I said, through chocolatey crumbs. ‘Tansy wants her fiancé to adopt Parker – they've made an application to the court.'

‘Shit,' said Harry. ‘So they were basically going to write Jamie out of Parker's life?'

I nodded, grim-faced.

‘Yep,' I said. There was a pause as we all thought about what Tansy had planned to do.

‘So why is she here?' Leona said. ‘She could have just done all that and Jamie would never even have known Parker existed.'

‘Did she have an attack of conscience?' Harry asked.

‘Kind of,' I said, not wanting to give Tansy too much credit. ‘But also she knew we were getting married and she wanted to check if there were still any feelings between her and Jamie.'

Leona gasped.

‘What a cow,' she said.

‘I know.'

‘I quite like her,' Harry said. ‘She's not hurting anyone, she's just keeping her options open.'

'They're my options, not hers,' I said. Harry shrugged.

‘S'pose,' she said, but she didn't sound convinced. ‘She's here, though, isn't she? She's told Jamie he's a dad, and she's told Parker. There's no going back now – they're in each other's lives.'

‘That's where I come in,' I said. ‘I'm going to make it all official. Get Jamie on the birth certificate and stop Michael adopting Parker. I've told Tansy we'll need a DNA test.'

‘What does Jamie think?' Harry asked.

‘Oh he just agrees with me,' I said breezily.

Harry looked at me.

‘He doesn't know,' she said. ‘Does he?'

‘He's got a lot on his plate,' I said. ‘I will tell him. When there's a good moment.'

Harry opened her mouth to argue, so I changed the subject.

‘Harry's smitten with Parker,' I told Leona.

‘Really,' she said. ‘What's he like?'

‘He's amazing,' Harry gushed. ‘He's really clever, and sweet and he's affectionate.'

‘He's a bit strange actually,' I said, ignoring Harry's fierce look. ‘He's way too interested in science for a little boy, and he's just overflowing with facts. He knows something about everything – it's crazy. But Harry's right, he's cute too. I can see Jamie in him, but I still think we should get a DNA test, just to be sure.'

Leona nodded.

‘Sounds sensible,' she said. She grinned at Harry. ‘You've never been that interested in kids,' she pointed out. ‘What's happened?'

Harry took a gulp of her tea.

‘Nothing,' she said. ‘Well Parker happened. He's a good kid, that's all.'

But I knew my cousin.

‘That's not all,' I said, narrowing my eyes. ‘What aren't you telling us?'

Harry stared out of the window.

‘Do you think it's going to snow again?' she said.

‘Harry,' I nudged her. ‘What's going on?'

Harry sighed and looked at me.

‘Louise wants us to have a baby,' she said.

Chapter 20

I stared at her in astonishment.

‘Seriously?' I said. ‘What do you think of that?'

Harry picked up a biscuit, broke it in two, and put both halves, uneaten, on her saucer.

‘I think,' she said slowly, ‘that I'd like us to have a baby too.'

I was amazed. I'd never thought Harry was remotely interested in having kids.

‘When did you decide this?' I asked.

‘We talked about it before we got married,' Harry said. ‘Louise has always wanted a family so it was kind of a deal-breaker for her. At first, I agreed because I wanted to make Lou happy.'

She gave me a small, sheepish smile.

‘If she's happy, I'm happy,' she said.

I nodded. Louise had changed something within Harry; made her less tightly wound, less controlling and more open to – well, to everything really.

‘Once we started talking about it, and researching it, I started to want it too – for me,' Harry went on. ‘And then meeting Parker – it was like the last piece of the puzzle.'

‘This is huge,' I said. ‘Massive. Enormous. GINORMOUS.'

‘Yeah, okay Ez,' Harry grinned at me.

‘So erm, how are you going to do it?' I asked, feeling slightly odd about asking such a personal questions.

Harry blushed. She actually blushed.

‘We went to a clinic,' she said. ‘We were talking about IVF and, ahem, donor sperm.'

Leona leaned forward, transfixed.

‘You fill in a form to say what kind of sperm you want,' she said. ‘I've heard about it. You choose the eye colour and hair colour, and whether they're good at football or singing, and what their IQ is,' she paused, a glint in her eye. ‘And if they've got any other… talents.'

‘Well it's sort of like that,' Harry said, giving Leona an odd look. We tried to keep our magical skills quiet, but lots of people in Claddach kind of knew what we could do, though mostly no one mentioned it.

‘So did you fill in your form?' I asked.

‘Nope,' said Harry. ‘We decided that wasn't for us. Because we're both forty, the odds were against us and we couldn't agree who should carry the baby. There were pros and cons for each of us.'

‘So what are you going to do?' I asked. ‘Surrogacy?'

Harry shook her head.

‘We're going to adopt,' she said. ‘We've started the process actually. We've had a few meetings and the social workers have been to the house. Mum knows all about it of course but we were going to tell everyone else this week – after the wedding. We're going to need a lot of help. References and whatnot. And the social workers might want to talk to you and Jamie, too.'

I was overwhelmed.

‘Harry, this is wonderful,' I said, hugging her tightly. ‘I'm so pleased for you and Lou. You'll make fabulous parents. And anything I can do to help, just let me know.'

She hugged me back.

‘Right,' she said. ‘That's enough emotion for one day. We've got a lot to do.'

Efficiently, Harry emailed everyone she knew that could sew, outlining what sort of help Leona needed.

‘I've copied you in,' she told Leona. ‘I know at least three people said they were around this week to help, so they should get back to you asap.'

Leona was pinning the sketches up on the wall behind the till. She looked round at us as we pulled on our coats and boots.

‘You're going to look beautiful,' she said. ‘Both of you. And Chloe too.'

I leaned over the counter and kissed her cheek.

‘Thank you,' I said. ‘See you tomorrow?'

We headed back out into the cold. It really was bitter when the sun went away. I shivered and linked my arm through Harry's.

‘Where now?' I asked.

‘Café,' she said. ‘Louise is meeting us there. She's been on the case with photographers.'

‘Ooh great,' I said. ‘I wonder if she's managed to find anyone.'

The wind blew darts of snow into our faces and we huddled down into each other.

‘So, adoption?' I said, keen to hear more about Harry's plans.

We trudged on towards the loch. The streets were quiet now, as the afternoon drew to a close and the sky darkened.

‘We've been talking to the council,' she said. ‘They're involved wherever you adopt from.'

‘Are you thinking of going abroad?' I asked. Harry's dad – who she didn't have any sort of relationship with – was Scottish, with Indian parents. I wondered if she was interested in exploring her own ethnicity. ‘India?'

Harry shook her head.

‘We thought about India, actually,' she said. ‘But it's very expensive adopting from abroad.'

‘So what then?' I asked.

‘Well, I went to visit Xander,' she said. ‘In the Lakes.'

Xander – the one who'd nearly come between me and Jamie – had a sort of breakdown and for a while was in a clinic in the Lake District. Harry had pulled some strings to get him in there – called in some favours. It was a sort of rehab clinic, like The Priory I supposed, looking after people with all sorts of problems – from exhaustion and nervous disorders to full-blown drug and alcohol addiction. And it was run by witches.

‘I was talking to Sylvia, who runs the clinic,' Harry said. ‘It was after we'd been to the IVF place and I was feeling a bit despondent about it. She asked what was bothering me and I couldn't help telling her. She's amazing at getting people to open up.'

I had a few ideas about how she got people to open up, but I kept quiet.

‘After that, she asked how we were getting on every time I visited,' Harry went on as we walked. The light was fading fast and the streetlights were coming on, making the snow glow orange.