Baby It's Cold Outside (12 page)

‘He was so disappointed,' she whispered. ‘He's always cared about what people think of him. He's had this drive to prove he's better than the racists and Mom's family think he is. Having a knocked-up daughter with no husband wasn't part of his plan.'

Tears were rolling down her smooth cheeks, but she smiled suddenly.

‘Parker won him over,' she said. ‘And then I met Michael, and he adores Parker. We're a family now.'

I wondered where Jamie would fit into this fantasy family but I didn't interrupt.

‘Daddy was so pleased when Michael and I got engaged,' Tansy said, wiping her eyes. ‘I felt like I'd won his love again. That he could be proud of me again.'

‘Because you'd got a man?' I said, thinking of my own darling dad who was proud of me for so many reasons, none of which involved having a boyfriend. ‘What about your job? Or bringing up Parker on your own?'

Tansy shook her head.

‘I know it sounds crazy,' she said. ‘But that's how I felt.'

She paused.

‘And then Parker got sick. I wanted to tell Jamie about him then – Mom agreed with me – but Daddy and Michael talked me out of it. I felt so bad though. I was worried about Parker and I was worried I wasn't being fair to Jamie.'

‘You weren't being fair to Jamie,' I pointed out.

‘I was so scared Parker would die and Jamie would never know he was a dad,' Tansy said. ‘But Parker got better – thank god – and Michael started to get antsy. He thought I still had feelings for Jamie. I told him he was wrong and that's when we put in the adoption application. For a while things were better.'

‘Until?' I prompted.

Tansy swallowed more wine.

‘Until I found out about your wedding, from a mutual friend,' she said. ‘He mentioned it on Facebook and I saw. It made me realise it was all wrong. We couldn't paper over the cracks and pretend Michael was Parker's dad.

‘I wanted to tell Jamie. Michael was furious. He said I should email if I was that desperate to tell him. We had a huge row and I told him I was coming whether he liked it or not.'

She paused.

‘I wanted to see Jamie,' she admitted. ‘Our relationship was kind of crazy. It was such an intense environment working in that hospital in Kenya, going out to visit villages and towns. It was really full on. All the relationships we had there were intense – even the friendships. Me and Jamie were up and down the whole time. We rowed more often than we didn't. But when it was good,' she gave me a small smile. ‘Well, I just wanted to check there wasn't anything between us any more – any feelings. I had to be sure.'

I stared at her.

‘Because it's all about you?' I hissed. ‘As long as Tansy's okay, you don't care about spoiling things for everyone else? Oh your timing is just phenomenal.'

Tansy started to cry properly then.

‘I'm sorry,' she said. ‘I've ruined everything. You're all so kind, and Jamie's just been great…'

‘Woah,' I said. ‘Jamie is great. And he's my fiancé remember? What about your “feelings”?' I childishly mimicked her accent. ‘Is there anything there?'

‘No,' she sniffed. ‘Of course not. I love Michael. Grumpy, protective, wonderful Michael. And even if I didn't, Jamie's totally in love with you.'

‘I know,' I said. Slightly smug in the knowledge of Jamie's love.

‘Are you going to tell him all this?' Tansy asked. ‘He and Parker are just starting to get to know each other – I don't want to spoil it.'

I frowned. I didn't like keeping secrets from Jamie – that way disaster lay, I knew that from experience.

‘I won't tell him yet,' I said. ‘But I think you – or I – should tell him he's not on the birth certificate as soon as we can. We need to make this all official.'

Tansy grimaced.

‘I didn't want to resort to paperwork,' she said.

‘Yeah? Well I think you've just forfeited your right to call the shots,' I said.

Outside a car door slammed.

‘That's Douglas,' I said.

Tansy froze.

‘Oh heck, I'd forgotten about the party,' she said, wiping her eyes. ‘Would you mind if I didn't go? I really just want to snuggle up with Parker and watch his DVD.'

She looked wretched for a moment and I felt a rush of unexpected and unwelcome sympathy for her.

‘Go and put your pyjamas on, then go over to Eva's,' I said. ‘She'll look after you. I'll tell the others you felt sick or something.'

Douglas rapped on the door and I stood up.

‘This isn't finished,' I warned her. ‘It's not over.'

Tansy looked up at me.

‘I know,' she said.

Chapter 16

‘No Tansy?' Douglas said as I climbed into the Range Rover.

‘She's not feeling well,' I fibbed. ‘She's going to hang out with Eva and Allan instead.'

Douglas nodded and carefully drove out along the snowy road. The light snowfall earlier had dusted the ploughed street but hadn't added much to the deep piles at the kerbs.

Douglas's driving may have been slow and deliberate but my mind was racing with a mixture of anger at Tansy and sympathy. I knew I'd have to tell Jamie everything, but I didn't want to do it yet. Not while he was so busy helping with the avalanche injuries, not to mention getting to know Parker. Though should I tell him he should get a DNA test before he got emotionally involved? I feared it was too late for that – Jamie was already emotionally involved with the little boy. As were all of us really. Especially Harry and Eva. And of course Jamie was also busy sorting out the wedding. Speaking of which… I glanced at Douglas as he drove, the streetlights shining on his face. He was handsome, I conceded, for an older man.

‘Douglas,' I began. ‘I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For being a bit off with you.'

Douglas didn't say anything a first and I was worried he was angry or offended. But he was just negotiating an icy patch of road.

‘Thank you,' he said eventually. ‘I bet that wasn't easy to say.'

I looked at him. His eyes were still on the road but he was smiling. He was a lot more fun than I'd expected a funeral director to be.

‘It was easier than my life would have been if I'd annoyed Mum,' I admitted. Douglas chuckled.

‘You're not wrong,' he said.

I rested my head against the seat, relieved to have got off so lightly.

‘Families are funny things,' Douglas said. ‘I expect you're finding that now with your Jamie.'

I stared out of the windscreen.

‘It's not easy,' I said. ‘Tansy just showing up like that…'

Douglas changed gear to go round the corner.

‘You and Jamie strike me as a very sensible pair,' he said. ‘Just make sure you keep talking to each other. My ex-wife and I stopped talking and that's when things went wrong between us.'

He was right, I thought. It was another reason for me to tell Jamie the truth about Parker and Tansy.

The town hall, when we arrived a few minutes later, was heaving. I'd not been there since a particularly fraught public meeting a couple of years ago. But tonight it looked very different. A banner reading
Claddach Lives On
hung above the stage. The bar, which I'd only ever seen as a kitchen where people made tea at WeightWatchers meetings had been restored to its rightful purpose and Chris from the pub and his team of bar staff were gallantly and efficiently serving drinks to the crowds of people clamouring for refreshment.

Round tables had been arranged round the edge of the room, leaving a dance floor – complete with disco ball – in the middle.

‘I'm just going to wish Kirsty luck,' Douglas said. ‘Save me a seat.' He disappeared into the group of people near the stage. I scanned the crowd for familiar faces and spotted everyone sitting on a table to my left. I headed over.

‘Tansy decided not to come,' I said, kissing Jamie and sitting down next to him. ‘She's a bit under the weather.'

Jamie gave me a look that suggested he was worried I'd bludgeoned Tansy to death and buried her in the back garden, but he didn't question me further and I was relieved.

‘A band is about to come on,' Harry said. ‘I'm not sure if there's only one band playing, or more than one. Do you know which one Kirsty's in?'

Mum shook her head.

‘Douglas told me the name of her group but I don't remember now,' she said. ‘I know what she looks like though, so I'll recognise her.'

‘Me too,' I said. ‘I saw her on the day of the avalanche.'

There was a cheer from the crowd as some musicians came on stage and started to play.

There were five of them – three guys who were all playing guitars, and two girls, one on drums and the other, who also had a guitar slung round her neck, at the microphone.

They began with a Fleetwood Mac cover, which got the crowd dancing. They were very good. The female singer had a great voice and looked the part, with her slicked-back dark hair and smoky eye make-up. She was wearing black skinny leather-look jeans like Harry's and a simple black vest top that showed off an impressive tattoo up one arm. I stared at her, wishing I looked more like a rock star. Then Harry dragged me up to dance, and I actually started to enjoy myself.

Claddach may have been a small town, but if there was one thing it did well, that was party. The band was great. The people were definitely up for a party. Chris on the bar was rushed off his feet, but he coped admirably. It was, I hated to admit it, really good fun. I was glad I'd come – Mum was right, it was exactly what I needed.

After a particularly vigorous boogie to a Rolling Stones song, I threw myself into a chair next to Mum and Douglas and swigged from a bottle of beer Jamie handed me.

‘We're taking a break but we'll be back soon,' the girl on stage said as the band went off to loud applause. I didn't blame her. I needed a break just from being in the audience.

‘They were great,' I said to Mum and Douglas.

‘They were,' Mum agreed. She looked at me. ‘Didn't you want to ask Doug if he can help with the wedding?'

I nodded.

‘Oh yes,' I said. ‘We need a celebrant, or a registrar. Someone who can take the ceremony. Mum thought you might know someone – you know, with your contacts.'

Douglas beamed at us.

‘I'm so pleased you asked me,' he said.

‘See,' Jamie said under his breath to me. ‘Told you it would be okay.'

‘I know a few people in Claddach who could help,' Douglas went on. ‘But the most obvious one to ask would be Kirsty.'

‘Kirsty?' I said in surprise. ‘Can she do it?'

Doug looked proud.

‘She can,' he said. ‘She's been training as a celebrant. She started on funerals, obviously, but she's done her wedding training too.'

Until he'd mentioned her, I'd almost forgotten about Kirsty – the reason we were here after all. I looked round.

‘So where is she?' I said. ‘Is she here? When is she singing?'

Douglas laughed.

‘She's over there,' he said, waving to a group of people close to the stage and beckoning. ‘Ah, here she comes.'

The girl from the band came towards us, weaving her way through the tables like a snake. She slung her arm round Douglas's neck, kissed the top of his head and gave us all a wide grin.

My mouth fell open. This was Kirsty?

Jamie jumped in. He held out his hand for Kirsty to shake.

‘I'm Jamie,' he said. ‘And this is Esme.'

‘Esme saw you in the shop,' Douglas said, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

Kirsty laughed.

‘In my bank manager outfit?' she asked. ‘I can't meet clients dressed like this. I need to blend into the background; make the whole thing as free from stress as possible.'

I nodded, understanding what an important job she did for the first time, and impressed with how professional she was.

‘I put on a suit, cover up the tattoos and tie my hair back,' Kirsty said. ‘Then how I look doesn't interfere with what I'm doing.'

‘Well done,' I said. Kirsty smiled at me again and pulled up a chair so she could sit with us.

‘Esme and Jamie wanted to ask you something,' Douglas said. Kirsty's face was suddenly sombre.

‘Has someone died?' she said.

‘Oh no,' I said. ‘Nothing like that. It's a good thing actually.'

‘We're getting married,' Jamie explained. ‘On Saturday. But the registrar can't get to us because of the snow.'

I looked at Kirsty.

‘We wondered if you'd take the ceremony for us?'

Kirsty gripped my arm in excitement.

‘Really?' she said. ‘I'd love to. I've never done a wedding by myself – only the ones I did when I was being mentored. People are a bit funny about having funeral directors do them.'

She wasn't wrong there. I felt a bit odd about it myself, but I knew we had no choice and I was grateful she could help.

We arranged to meet her at the café the next day so we could talk through the ceremony with her, then she dashed off to go back on stage for the second half of the band's set.

Jamie put his arm round me.

‘It's happening,' he said into my ear, as Kirsty's band struck up again. I turned my head to kiss him.

‘I know,' I said. ‘I can't believe it. So much has happened to stop us getting married, but we've come through it all.'

Jamie glanced at my feet.

‘What?' I said. ‘What are you looking at?'

I wanted to see what shoes you were wearing,' he said with a smile. Fancy walking home? I know it's a trek up the hill in the snow, but it's a lovely night and it'll be good to spend some time, just the two of us.'

It was a lovely night. Once you got used to the breathtaking cold. We wandered tipsily up the hill, hand in hand, talking about everything and nothing. I thought about telling Jamie then that he wasn't named on Parker's birth certificate, but he was in such a good mood that I couldn't bring myself to say the words.