Avoiding Commitment (57 page)

“I’ll say. Just look at you.”

“Thanks, C. I got it,” she mumbled
irritated.

“Then what happened?”

Lexi sighed wavering between a lie and the
truth. “Jack and I slept together.”

Chyna’s mouth dropped open. “No! When?” Lexi
lowered her eyes to the floor. “Tonight?” Chyna squeaked. “How
could you?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“You said you weren’t going to.”

“I hadn’t planned on it. This obviously
wasn’t planned,” she said gesturing around her.

“But, Alexa,” Chyna scolded.

“Don’t use that voice with me,” she growled.
“Things didn’t go as planned anyway.” Things definitely did not go
as planned. She hadn’t planned on sleeping with him. She hadn’t
planned on falling for him…again. She hadn’t planned on her night
with Ramsey. She hadn’t planned on any of it.

“Did he hit you?” Chyna asked fear obvious in
her voice. “You look like shit.”

“What? No! God, no,” Lexi exclaimed running
her hands through her hair. “He just…he was really cold to me
afterwards.”

“Like how?” Chyna asked concerned.

“I don’t know. He said this didn’t change
things,” Lexi attempted to explain.

“What does that mean?” Chyna asked
aggravated.

“I think it means he needs more time to
decide what he wants. It just came out wrong,” Lexi said trying to
convince herself too.

“I doubt it.”

“Chyna,” Lexi said warningly.

“No, you listen to yourself. He fucked you
then pretty much told you that you didn’t mean anything to him. How
could you think otherwise?”

“He said he still needed time. He told me he
wanted to be with me. Chyna, they can’t be together. I have to stop
this. He can’t do what he did to me and expect not to have to make
a decision,” she told her vehemently.

“Alexa, stop. You can’t think like that. You
cannot break them up.”

“But he wants to be with me. A part of him
still wants to be with me.”

“You don’t actually believe him, do you?”
Chyna asked scrunching her perfectly waxed eyebrows together.

“He’s never lied to me before,” Lexi said but
doubt was in her voice.

“Are you sure?”

“He hasn’t lied to me in six years. Why would
he start now?” Lexi asked trying to force a sense of
determination.

“I just…don’t know,” she said biting her lip
and looking away.

“What are you getting at, Chyna?” Lexi
couldn’t keep the venom out of her voice.

“Look, maybe he never lied directly, but that
didn’t mean that he was telling you the whole truth,” Chyna told
her.

Lexi sighed. She had thought of that. In
fact, a part of her wondered if maybe everything he ever said had
been in some part a lie. But she couldn’t let herself get caught up
on that. He was the same Jack she had always known, and he loved
her. No matter how difficult the past week…the past year and a half
had been there was a part of him that would always love her. She
needed to harness that affection and make him realize that was what
he had always wanted…what he still wanted.

“Did you forget that this was all
your
idea in the first place,” Lexi asked evading Chyna’s last
statement.

“Goddamn, chica, I sent you up here to get
over the fucking douche bag, not to fall in love with him
again.”

“Well, I’m not sure I ever stopped loving
him.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Chyna
said shaking her head miserably.

“I know perfectly well what I am saying. I
know exactly how I feel about Jack.”

“You’re acting like a teenager. Pull yourself
together. You don’t need this guy to feel loved. There are
plenty…”

Lexi interrupted, “Don’t feed me the there
are plenty of other fish in the sea line.”

“But there are!” Chyna cried. “Have you not
seen the way Ramsey looks at you?”

Lexi rolled her eyes, but her heart was
aching at the admission. She couldn’t tell Chyna what had happened
between them. The news that they had almost slept together would
only fuel her passion. And she was stuck with Jack. No matter what
he had done or how confused he was. He held her heart, even when it
was breaking. “Don’t talk to me about Ramsey.”

“Then don’t act like Jack is the only person
who has ever looked at you like you’re a goddess.”

“Just because Ramsey feels this way about me
doesn’t mean it is reciprocated,” Lexi cried back.

“Then explain what happened out on the
balcony.”

Lexi blushed. If Chyna knew the rest of what
had happened, she would never hear the end of it. “That was a
mistake.”

“It didn’t look like it.”

“I slept with Jack right afterwards. What
does that tell you?”

“That you are a very confused person!”

“I’m not confused. I know exactly what I
want.”

“I didn’t want to have to tell you this,”
Chyna said shaking her head fiercely.

“What?” Lexi asked barely listening to her.
All she wanted to do was get this conversation over with and
sleep.

“I heard some of Jack’s friends talking about
him and Bekah,” she trailed off.

“And?”

“There are rumors of them getting
married.”

“Yeah. Isn’t that why I’m here in the first
place?” Lexi asked dumbfounded as to why Chyna was even bringing
this up to her again. She was here to convince Bekah that Jack was
ready for commitment. Well, she certainly hadn’t done that. If
anything she had confused him more.

“I know, but I think he’s going to do
it.”

“What?” Lexi questioned staring at her like
she was a Martian.

“The guys were talking about planning a
bachelor party,” Chyna whispered hating that she had to break the
news to her.

“It could have been for any of them,” she
said but she hardly convinced herself. Doubt had crept into her
voice.

“I think they were all married,” she
murmured.

“No.” She shook her head and pushed a loose
strand of hair behind her ears. Her sleep deprived brain couldn’t
process what Chyna was saying. Jack couldn’t be marrying Bekah. He
didn’t love her. He didn’t feel for her what he felt with Lexi.
There was no way this could be happening. “No. No, he’s not,” she
said the weakness in her voice evident. She felt as if she had been
punched in the gut. She was receiving just enough air to keep her
upright.

“What did you say? Alexa, you have to believe
me. I’m looking out for you.”

“No. I won’t believe it,” her voice coming
out in a monotone.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you. I
didn’t want this to happen to you,” Chyna said feeling like the
shittiest of shitty friend’s right then.

“This cannot be happening to me.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” Chyna said moving to
her side. “Do you still want to be with him?”

Even after that admission, even after Lexi’s
first realization that Jack might marry someone else, she still
wanted him.

“Is Jack really what you want after
everything?” She reached out and grasped Lexi’s hand
affectionately.

“You don’t understand,” Lexi said yanking her
hand out of her grasp. “You never understood.” The feeling of
losing Jack overwhelmed her body. The feeling was so familiar, that
it could only be associated with
him
. Her heart felt as if
it were being fed through a shredder, and then played back in
reverse.

“How could I understand?” Chyna asked
vehemently. “Do you even see yourself? You’re a wreck. You look
exactly the same as last time. You’re shutting down and shutting
everyone out. You can’t let him do this to you every time he comes
back into your life. Can’t you see that this boy has done a number
on you that can never be undone, unless you let him go? You have to
let him go.”

“How can I let him go?” she asked her
breathing coming out shallow. “How can I let him go, if he won’t
let me?”

“You have to find a way to be strong.”

“No, I can’t be sure. I have to go to him and
find out what the truth is.”

“You think he’s going to tell you the truth?”
Chyna asked dubiously.

“He damn well better!”

CHAPTER 24

PRESENT

Chyna managed to talk Lexi into getting a few
hours of much needed rest. She needed to be of the right state of
mind to talk with Jack. And, anyways, he would probably be sleeping
at six o’clock in the morning, when Lexi was ready to burst into
his apartment and confront him. The exhaustion that had crept up on
her that whole night suddenly evaporated with the prospect of
finally coming to a conclusion about her relationship with Jack.
Restless sleep eventually overtook her, but it did very little to
stem her anticipation.

The thoughts swirling around in her brain
only managed to make her more nervous about her upcoming
appointment with disaster. She couldn’t fathom that Jack had lied
to her. They had always been up front about their feelings and how
they were going to work…no matter how dysfunctional everything else
turned out to be.

When she finally awoke the next day, she
found that somehow she had managed to sleep through a good portion
of the day. She wasn’t certain how that had happened, but was
grateful for the break from her earlier thoughts. Except that left
her with only a few brief hours to accomplish everything she needed
to get done. She canceled her flight that Jack purchased for her
earlier that month, reimbursing those funds to his card. With
Chyna’s arrival, Lexi decided to leave on her private jet. A flight
that would leave that very night. A flight that Lexi was not
certain she was ready to get on.

She groggily got out of bed, reaching for her
phone. Beyond the two messages from Ramsey making sure she had made
it home alright and apologizing for his inappropriate behavior,
there was nothing else. Jack hadn’t called. He hadn’t texted. He
had made no effort to get in contact with her after their
escapade.

Lexi lazily tossed the thing back into her
purse and strolled into the bathroom. After a scalding hot shower
to clear her mind, Lexi did some extra pampering. She needed to
look her best when she spoke with him. If she looked as shitty as
she felt, then she would lose a good deal of the confidence that
she needed. She let her loose curls go about their business and
applied some make-up to highlight her golden skin and large brown
eyes. Her hair covered the damage done to her back, but she had to
touch up her neck where a few hickeys were beginning to show. A
thin layer of lipstick hid the bruising on her bottom lip. A purple
dress that was simple yet appealing was her first choice. She
paired it with black strappy sandals. She hoped it was enough.

Her first instinct was to go by his
apartment, and with Chyna’s approval, she took the town car across
the city. As she approached the entranceway, the attendant who had
been on duty when she had stayed the night at Jack’s less than a
week ago was exiting the building. “Oh, excuse me,” the attendant
said almost running into her.

“No problem at all. Hey, I think I know you,”
Lexi said.

“Oh, yeah,” the girl said pointing her finger
at Lexi as if she were placing her. “You know Jack, right?”

“Yeah. Do you know if he’s in right now?”
Lexi asked taking a step closer to the doorway.

The girl seemed to mull it over. After a
second of contemplation she answered, “I don’t think he is. I
remember him leaving this afternoon.”

“Do you happen to know where he was going?”
Lexi asked knowing she sounded snoopy.

“Look, I don’t really like to get involved,”
she said crossing her arms across her chest uncomfortably.

“Oh no, I totally understand,” she said
immediately. She had to be quick on her toes or else she wouldn’t
get any information. “It’s just his girlfriend is freaking out,
because he won’t answer his phone, and she asked me to come by
since she couldn’t.”

“Well,” the girl began tilting her head
sideways.

“I swear I wouldn’t bother you if it wasn’t
an emergency,” Lexi said lathering on the desperation.

The girl sighed and tossed her hair over her
shoulder. “He came down earlier and looked a bit bummed out. Said
he needed to get some things accomplished at the office, but don’t
tell him I told you so,” she said racing down the remaining stairs,
across the street, and into a parked Civic.

With more direction than when she had woken
up this morning, Lexi piled back into the town car to make her way
to Bridges Enterprise. She knew the building well from her long
history in the city, but had never ventured inside. All she knew
about the business was that the Bridges name had been around for a
long time. It comprised of attorneys, accountants, and any other
form of business that could assist you with your troubles, and they
charged a fortune for their rather successful services.

The town car dropped Lexi off at the base of
the monumental staircase leading up to the building. After climbing
the flight of stairs, she stepped into Bridges Enterprise, an
enormous, emasculating building covered almost completely in glass.
The high-arched, sleek entranceway opened into a clean, marble
tiled lobby with forty foot ceilings, plush leather sofas, and
high-glossed counter space. Every person was impeccably dressed in
the latest fashions as well as physically fit and attractive. The
women all wore knee-length skirt suits with high heels while the
men wore suits each with a different color tie. It was terrifying
being in a room with so many well-groomed individuals. Lexi’s
simple dress suddenly felt out of place, but she held her head high
regardless.

She cautiously approached a tiny Asian woman
working behind the reception desk. People milled around the lobby.
Some entering and exiting elevators, stopping to chat with an
associate, or waiting patiently for their important meeting. With a
company this large it was necessary to have the office available to
clients seven days a week.