Avoiding Commitment (56 page)

She collapsed, naked, in a heap to the floor.
Her hair cascaded around her face. She felt something wet on her
knees and she realized, suddenly, that it was tears. Lexi swiped at
her eyes. She glanced up into the mirror and recognized the trail
of black flowing down her cheeks. She vigorously scrubbed the
mascara tears away leaving her cheeks raw and splotchy.

Her head tilted to the side as she stared
onwards at her reflection. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind
her ear once out of habit. The movement reassured her, and she did
it again until the curly strands were maintained neatly behind her
ears. It was the least she could do to keep from crying again.

This was the last time she ever wanted to cry
for Jack Howard.

Her head snapped to the side at the sound of
the door creaking open. Ramsey stood silhouetted in the doorway in
nothing but a snug pair of maroon boxer briefs. For a second as she
stared at him, she lost all thought of being naked sitting on the
floor. He looked so delectable. She had never seen him with his
shirt off, and damn was her first impression right. He certainly
had to have a personal trainer.

“Oh, sorry,” he said his eyes sliding down
her near naked form. She could tell he wasn’t sorry, and she was
too broken and dazed to say otherwise.

“Did you need something?” she asked, her
voice cracking with the effort to keep from crying.

“I was coming to check on you.”

For once, he kept his distance. Lexi let her
head drop wishing she could erase this entire night. She had been
stupid to think that she could be a part of Jack’s life. And in
that moment, she felt more used than she ever had in her life. Even
if that hadn’t been Jack’s original intention, after he left her
standing there bruised and broken, she couldn’t help but feel that
he had used her. And she wasn’t even sure what had fueled such
anger from him. The sex was amazing, but there was an undertone of
hostility in his movements. Not to mention his abrupt goodbye. When
he said that it didn’t change things, she was really more afraid
that he meant it.

“Is there something I can do?” he whispered
into the darkness.

She shook her head back and forth. All she
needed was to be alone.

“Are you sure?” he asked taking a few
tentative steps into the room.

“I’m fine,” she murmured. It wasn’t
believable though. She was naked sitting in a crumpled heap on his
floor looking as if she had been crying.

She glanced back up and met his worried gaze.
“You don’t look fine.” He took another step forward.

“Thanks,” she muttered sarcastically.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant…”
he trailed off.

“I know what you meant.”

He cleared the space between them in a quick
stride and squatted in front of her. “Please let me make it better.
I hate seeing you this way,” he whispered reaching out to her.

“Then don’t look at me,” she said pulling
herself away from his touch.

“I can’t help but look at you.”

“Yes, you can.”

“No, I can’t,” he said leaning in closer.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

“Beauty is only skin deep,” she quipped not
letting herself get suckered into his sweet talk.

“Not on you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“And you don’t know me. Yet, we’ve gone on
two dates and we’ve kissed. I know you feel something for me. You
just don’t know what it is yet,” he told her sitting next to her on
the floor.

Lexi shook her head. “You’re right. I don’t
know you, and I don’t know what I feel.”

“Then let me show you,” he said leaning
forward and capturing her lips in his own.

Lexi groaned deep in her throat wondering how
she had gotten herself into this mess. Here she was going back and
forth between two guys. This, being here right now, was so
wrong.

Misreading her groan, Ramsey took this as
encouragement and deepened the kiss. He let his tongue slide into
her mouth and flick against her tongue. His hands buried themselves
into her thick mass of curls pulling her face closer to his. She
couldn’t stay unresponsive as he expertly maneuvered against her
mouth. It was as if some kissing instinct had awakened in her, and
she tilted her head giving him a better angle.

Her mind was so frazzled from the events of
the night, but still she knew this was wrong. “Ramsey,” she
muttered against his lips.

As soon as it came out of her mouth, she knew
he would take it as further encouragement. His name had come out
breathy and seductive when she had been going for questioning.

“Mmm,” he moaned against her lips, letting
one hand trail down her neck, across her slight shoulder, and
gently grazed the side of her breast, before resting strongly on
her waistline. She couldn’t keep her breath from hitching as his
large hands staked a claim on her body.

She knew she should stop him from continuing.
Her mind went into overdrive as she thought about how wrong her
actions were in that moment. But before she could even push him
away, he snuck his arm up under her legs and effortlessly hoisted
her into the air. The sweet taste of peppermint lingered on the tip
of her tongue as she broke away from him.

He carried her to the foot of the bed and
gently laid her back against the soft down comforter. She was
distinctly aware of her nakedness as she stretched out across the
bed. There was so little clothing between them leaving her in a
very precarious position. From her angle, she could see the bulge
in his boxer briefs growing at the sight of her. She couldn’t help
but smile at his reaction. Of course, she knew it was the
wrong
reaction. All she seemed to be doing was sending him
wrong signals, but she couldn’t help it. Very few women wouldn’t
have smiled at that moment.

His hands moved forward and clutched onto her
hip bones. Then he dipped his head down and began kissing upwards
from her navel. Slowly but surely he moved around her belly button,
up between the curves of her breasts, to the base of her neck,
across her jaw line, and then, finally, back to her lips. She felt
him press against her as he coaxed a reaction out of her tender
lips. His hands roamed her body taking in every curve of her skin.
She could feel him urging her on, aching for her body. He
interlaced their fingers and pressed her arms above her head
leaving her completely vulnerable. He began a slow grind against
her, never letting up on his amazing kisses.

Ramsey left her hands above her head and
began to roam lower and lower until his fingers were feather light
against her inner thighs. “Ramsey, I…” she got out before he was
kissing her again. His gentle hands began making circle motions
against the sensitive skin, trailing closer to her most sensitive
area.

Fire alarms were going off in her head at his
advances, and she knew she needed to stop. In fact, she really
wanted
to stop. After everything she had been through
tonight, she could not add this to the list of stupid things for
the evening. She pushed against his chiseled chest, but she might
as well have been pushing on a brick wall for all he noticed. One
finger moved closer and pressed against her opening. He didn’t do
anything more than rest there, but she was already wet with
anticipation…an anticipation that she would never let come to
fruition.

She turned her head to pull away from his
demanding kisses. “Stop,” she whispered lacking the conviction she
felt.

“What did you say?” he asked expertly
inserting two fingers deep inside of her without allowing her
enough time to answer. She couldn’t believe how amazing this felt,
and it was just the foreplay. She needed to stop or she was going
to regret her actions.

“I said stop,” she murmured attempting to
wiggle away from him, but he had his other hand locked securely
against her hip preventing her from moving.

“But you like it. You’re enjoying it.”

“No,” she said shaking her head as her lower
half convulsed with pleasure.

“Your body is telling me otherwise and I
haven’t even gone any farther.”

“You can’t…go any…farther,” she gasped
out.

He sighed letting his head fall forward but
halting his movements inside of her. His hot breath gave away his
already heated desire for her. “Are you sure?” he asked wiggling
his fingers playfully.

She gasped. “Yes…”

“You want me to stop?”

“Yes.”

He sighed against her, heavier this time, but
extracted his hand from her lower extremities. He rolled over and
laid next to her, his chest heaving up and down with the effort of
following her orders. She could tell he was expelling a good deal
of exertion keeping himself from her, when he was already hard and
ready for her.

Lexi hopped up off the bed and shimmied back
into her ruined dress forgetting that Ramsey had given her new,
clean clothes to change into. “I have to get out of here,” she said
reaching for the door.

“What?” he cried hopping off the bed in
surprise. “You just got here.”

“I know, but I have to leave.”

“Don’t go. I won’t do anything else,” he
pleaded with her, meeting her at the door.

“This isn’t about you,” she muttered
wrenching the door open.

“Then, it’s about Jack,” he said catching her
off guard.

She stumbled catching herself on the door
frame. “It doesn’t matter what it’s about. I just have to
leave.”

“Where are you going to go?’

“I’ll figure it out,” she said walking out of
the room, through the hallway, and down the stairs. She could feel
him following her, but she didn’t look backwards.

“You shouldn’t go running off in the middle
of the night.”

“I can do whatever I want,” she cried
striding across the living room.

“I know you can. I just want you to be safe,”
he said quietly.

She bit down on the inside of her cheek to
keep from saying anything she might regret. He was looking out for
her, and she knew that. However, getting into any sort of physical
relationship with someone else right now was plain wrong. She had
too much baggage. She needed to clear away some of that before
anyone else got hurt. “I will be safe,” she told him turning and
facing him.

“Promise?”

“Yes,” she said twisting the knob behind her
back and pulling the door open. “Sorry.”

Lexi rushed down the stairs and out onto the
dark city streets. She had forgotten how different New York and
Atlanta were. At any given second in New York, she could hail a cab
to take her to any destination. Here people had to call for a cab
and wait for it to pick you up. In New York, people were constantly
on the streets and, where Lexi frequented, she could walk anywhere.
In Atlanta, she rarely felt safe walking in even the classiest
areas of the city during the day, let alone at night.

She took a deep breath and dialed the number
for a cab service. After a few minutes, the cab arrived and carted
her to Chyna’s hotel. Lexi had the concierge ring for Chyna, but
found that no one was in the room or else Chyna was incapacitated.
Either was just as likely. Since she had no proof that she should
be in Chyna’s penthouse, they refused to give her a key to the
room.

“If you won’t give me a key, can I stay in
your lobby until she gets back?” Lexi asked exasperated.

The woman looked at her condescendingly,
taking in her smeared make-up and torn dress. “That is not
typically permitted.”

“Do you really want one of your A-list
clients angry at you when Chyna finds out that you treated her best
friend this poorly?” Lexi asked smoothly.

Her face shifted into a line of worry.
Individuals who came to the hotel and rented the penthouse suite
were few and far between. “Very well. When Ms. Van der Wal returns
and we can confirm your identity, then we can allow you into her
room. If you would like a room of your own, we could arrange that.
Otherwise you will have to wait.”

Lexi sighed heavily and wandered over to a
loveseat. She pulled her feet up onto the cushion and rested her
head against the arm of the chair. All she wanted to do was forget
that tonight had ever happened.

A short while later she someone was shaking
her awake and calling her name. Lexi’s eyes fluttered open and she
realized, somewhat unbelievably, she had fallen asleep. Her neck
was sore from the uncomfortable position, but her mind, at least,
was still. She must have been exhausted to have fallen asleep that
quickly.

“You alright, chica?” Chyna asked looking at
her anxiously.

“A little sore.”
What an
understatement
. “But I’ll be alright. Can we go upstairs?”

“Yeah, sure,” Chyna agreed helping Lexi to
her feet. “Did they give you any trouble?” Chyna asked staring
daggers at the concierge.

“No, they were fine. They did exactly as I
expected,” Lexi replied following Chyna to the elevators.

The two girls took the elevator to the top
floor and Chyna let them into her suite. All Lexi wanted to do was
to crash for the next several hours. She was both physically and
mentally exhausted. Chyna had other ideas though. She obviously had
all the energy from just getting laid that Lexi was lacking. And
even though she needed her mandated seven hours of beauty sleep,
she didn’t seem ready for that to begin.

“Can you spit it out so I can go to sleep?”
Lexi asked resting her head back against the couch.

Chyna bit down on her bottom lip as she
stared uncomfortably at her friend. “What the hell happened to you?
You look like a train wreck. You should have seen the way those
people were looking at you downstairs. God, you could have been a
hooker for all they knew. A hooker wearing amazing clothes, but
still…”

Lexi rolled her eyes not caring much what
others thought about her. “I had a rough night.”