Asperger's on the Job: Must-Have Advice for People With Asperger's or High Functioning Autism, and Their Employers, Educators, and Advocates (12 page)

• Adopt a zero-tolerance policy for bullying—in action as well as speech. It’s one thing to pay lip service to this policy; it’s quite another to walk your talk. Bottom line, it’s costing you money and making people’s lives hell.
  
• Realize that while bullying has devastating consequences, the need is perhaps more urgent in the case of the AS person who will have a very hard time keeping a clear head during confrontation.
  
• That fight-or-flight reaction to social contact can also cause us to freeze like deer in headlights when we are bullied, and we may be completely unable to defend ourselves verbally or physically.
  
• There are organizations and individuals like myself who provide training tailored to this subject. Due to rising numbers, autism sensitivity/awareness training should soon be as required as sexual harassment training. Contact your local autism services to see if they know of any such programs or consultants in your area, or visit my web site (
  www.help4Aspergers.com
  ). Management staff as well as workers can attend an in-house training.
  
• Places like the Workplace Bullying Institute also provide workshops and in-house training. Their contact details are in the Resources section.
  
• There are not enough laws against workplace bullying, but there likely will be in the near future. Get a jump on it by speaking with the bullies in your company, if you know who they are. They may be your best friends; cronies. You might have lunch together or play golf. Put your personal preferences aside, for they are costing you more money than they are worth. Tell them that their behavior towards the AS employee must stop or their time with the company will. Nothing speaks louder than that. Give him/her information about Asperger’s to read, such as this book, or have them speak with an AS professional. Recommend that they seek counseling on their own, since there probably is a reason for their behavior in and of itself. You can help more than just the person with AS with your efforts. Your stance is on solid economic and moral ground.
  
• Follow through. This type of behavior is deep-seated and a person is not going to change overnight. Like any addict, they might backslide into their old behavior once they feel the crisis point is passed and they are no longer being watched.
  
• Honestly examine your own behavior towards the easy targets in your company. Has power or anxiety over pressure made you a bully? No one thinks that they are a bully, but if you are short-tempered, unfair, if you have ridiculed or insulted your employee, then you may have worn that mantle from time to time. The same advice would apply to you as to any bully: try being nice to your victim, see the positive in them, talk to them calmly and privately. Tell them that you have changed your ways. Seek help for whatever is causing you to behave in such a way. Then stick to all these things, because you will need to prove yourself over time. Once you’ve bullied someone, they never forget, and it will be a while before they trust you again. If this sounds like advice one would give a child, it is because bullying itself is pretty childish.
  
• There are many good books available to help you brush up on your leadership and management skills. You can bet that you will not find “humiliate and alienate” in any of them.
  

Write your own thoughts on bullying and strategies for prevention and correction.

What has worked in the past and what hasn’t?

S
ince we cannot always read subtle cues, positive reinforcement is necessary to let those of us with Asperger’s know that we have done something well, that we’re on the right track. A good supportive boss can make all the difference in the world. If your employee has done a good job on something, tell them, even if it seems insignificant to you. Praising the little things—“you are the most punctual employee we have,” or “I really like the way you handled that assignment,” or “the new filing system is much better than the old”—will give them more confidence. More confidence means more motivation, and a happier, more productive worker.

As any book on effective management would tell you, it is better to motivate people for the right reasons instead of punishing them for the wrong. Direction and correction are preferable to humiliation and condescension. This seems like a no-brainer, but many bosses will do the latter. These are bullying tactics (see the previous
chapter) and an employer should never think that they will achieve the desired results in the long term.

The power of praise should not be underestimated; it should be cultivated:

While oftentimes largely ignored by managers [praise] can be an extremely useful method of giving a worker a sense of worth. It has, in countless examples, been shown to dramatically increase productivity. (HR Village 2009)

Giving rewards for a job well done
after
the fact does nothing to encourage someone along the way:

The company must do more than look at the end result and reward outcomes. Leaders must encourage their managers and supervisors to actively engage employees during the work and positively reinforce valued behavior—in real time. (Pounds 2008)

Giving positive reinforcement is even more vital in the case of the person with Asperger’s, since we tend to be perfectionists as well:

Those with both Asperger’s and perfectionism can tend to be exceptionally sensitive to criticism and suffer from the fear of making mistakes or errors. You can help them get a more realistic view of their own achievements by emphasizing what went well. Acknowledge them in a positive way all the time and let them see how great they are doing. (De Vries 2007)

“The principal rarely spoke to me, and when she did, she would rebuke me in front of the students. I find that if the boss is going to talk condescendingly to me, or scream at me (in private or in front of people), then things aren’t going to be good.”

- BEN

It is also more crucial because of the general feeling that the AS person has that everyone else seems to “have a script” while they have to adlib. The uncertainty that comes from this inability to read expression, tone, and body language, will be allayed by positive praise when something is done well—even the little things.

“I don’t find much fault with my current boss. He gave me a great review last time. He says I’m the reason his store looks so good.”

- RICK

If this sounds like a lot to ask, know that people with AS don’t seem to have unrealistic expectations from a boss:

“He/she would have a friendly, courteous spirit.”

“He would see him/herself as a collaborator and would not hide behind the role.”

“Someone who understood my limitations, and could make realistic challenges.”

People with Asperger’s who make an effort to understand the syndrome are aware of its pluses and minuses. They will come to realize that a good working relationship is a two-way street:

“I had a perfect boss. I was the problem.”

• If you find that your employer’s approach to critiquing your work is causing you anxiety, you can ask him to do so in a more private and constructive way.
  
• Try to understand where your boss is coming from if you receive negative feedback. People with AS generally, by their own admission, do not take criticism very well. Think about your own approach to others. Often you speak your mind bluntly without couching your words in a pretty package. You expect others to understand where you are coming from: a desire to improve, a quest for perfection. Understand that your boss wants the same thing and may have his own communication issues. Try to work together to come up with a solution.
  
• Giving praise goes both ways. It is important to show appreciation for others’ work and to be generous in your own spirit if you would like to have the same shown to you.
  

• Give praise freely and frequently. These are markers that let an AS person know they are on the right road going in the right direction.
  
• The AS do-it-yourself ingenuity means that he/she has put some real effort into doing their job. If it has not been done to the boss’s satisfaction, censure must be done privately and respectfully, not in front of customers or co-workers:
  

“The managerial staff were rude, ignorant, and insensitive. And in some cases, downright spiteful. The way you are called into a room with two or more managerial staff when they wish to speak to you about concerns; it always feels like an interrogation, and I believe it is.”

- SEAN

• People with Asperger’s are great emulators and learn social behavior by copying. If you are positive and tactful with us, over time we learn to be more diplomatic with others.
  

How do you respond to praise?

How does it feel to give it?

What sorts of reactions do you get from people when you are positive as opposed to critical?

W
ork with a person’s interests to utilize their strengths. This will ensure that you reap the most benefit from your AS employee and he/she will achieve the greatest job satisfaction. Don’t push someone into a role they are unsuited for. Sounds logical, doesn’t it?

The things people with Asperger’s don’t do naturally well (e.g.,
socialize)
usually fall into a realm that doesn’t directly affect the job they are doing. To the contrary—sometimes their social weaknesses are career strengths. They don’t like to chitchat on the job, so that means they will have more time for work. They like to focus, so they won’t be flipping through magazines under their desk. If their job is research, no one will do it better, as people with AS are information addicts.

In addition to research, an AS person might excel at organizing, problem-solving, writing, composing,
repairing, designing, engineering, inventing, mathematics, and just about any other solitary activity in which they can control all the elements. Even more mundane activities like mowing lawns may appeal, or painting houses, because there is control, a definable outcome, and little interaction with people, as well as freedom to listen to music, news, or audio-books. Putting them in a position to deal with others is more problematic because people are uncontrollable and unpredictable. Some may be excellent teachers, but an AS person would likely not enjoy teaching high school, but rather, college, university, or younger elementary school children.

“One of the most important things is early diagnosis. I didn’t realize I had AS until I was nearly 30, and I wound up going into jobs I wasn’t suited for.”

- BEN

It is worthwhile to work with natural Aspergian tendencies and channel them into appropriate activities rather than forcing a person to do things that will just demoralize them. Challenge is good, but as the old adage goes, you can’t push a square peg into a round hole. As we will discuss in the
chapter on Education
, it may be beneficial to suggest or encourage additional classes if your employee’s natural skills tend toward a certain area but they lack the practical knowledge or necessary piece of paper to put those skills into practice. Many with ASDs have savant talents or “obsessive” interests that could be put to good use in appropriate vocational contexts (Müller, Schuler, Burton, & Yates 2009).

Job-sharing or job-pairing can enable workers to utilize their strengths while ensuring that there are no gaps in service or performance:

“I worked for a government corporation for a while and one boss referred to me as the ‘brains’ of the department. Unfortunately, the person whom I was paired with, I was driving crazy because of my oddities. This problem was solved when I was paired with another, and we were compatible. In this way we built teams of inspectors. Some combinations of personality traits and skills created well-functioning and harmonious teams and others did not.”