An Impossible Secret (8 page)

“Jimmy?”

“No. Not that loser. I meant your girlfriend. What’s her name?”

“Kerry. I don’t know where she is.”

“Are you two still an item?”

“I don’t know.” Brice ran his finger around the coffee cup. “I don’t think so.”

“I’m sorry. That’s a shame.” Courtney shuffled closer still, and put her hand on Brice’s.

Chapter 36

“I’m doing homework,” Kerry said when her mum came into the bedroom without knocking. It wasn’t true. Kerry did have work to do, but her mind was too much of a fog to do anything. The euphoria at tracing her biological mother was at odds with the pain she felt from Brice’s betrayal.

“There’s someone here to see you. A boy.”

“I don’t want to see him. Tell him to go away.” Hadn’t he caused enough damage?

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Her mum disappeared down the stairs. Moments later, the front door slammed closed. Cautiously, Kerry edged towards the window.

Jimmy was looking up at her bedroom, and gestured for her to open the window.

“What are you doing here?” she said.

“I need to talk to you.”

“What about?”

“It won’t take long,” Jimmy insisted.

“Did Brice send you?”

He hesitated a moment too long. “No.”

“I’m not interested, Jimmy. You can go back and tell him that.”

“I’m not here to try to talk you around. There’s a few things you need to know though.”

“What?”

“We can’t talk like this. Let me in—it won’t take more than a few minutes.”

“Not here. I’ll meet you in front of the shops—just around the corner.”

Jimmy gave her the thumbs up, and started towards the end of the street.

Jimmy was sitting on a decrepit wooden bench, which was in desperate need of a coat of paint. Kerry sat down beside him.

“Brice told me what happened,” Jimmy said.

“So he
did
send you?”

“Not really. I said I’d come and see you.”

“Same difference.” She stood up. “Tell him to leave me alone.”

“He didn't do anything wrong.”

“Is that what he told you?” She laughed.

“He didn’t have to tell me. I know Brice. There’s no way he'd have done what you think he did. Sit down.”

She didn’t move.

“Please.”

“Five minutes,” she said. “That’s all.”

“Brice told me about the panties.” Jimmy grinned.

“It isn’t funny.”

“I know. Look, Brice would never cheat on you—it isn’t in his nature. And, he certainly wouldn’t shag some girl in his car.”

“How do you explain the panties?”

“I don’t know.” Jimmy shrugged. “He thinks they were planted, and my guess is he’s right.”

“That’s ridiculous. Who’d do that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Courtney Jerome or Jeannie Moore, or any of the dozen other girls who are jealous of you.”

“Of me?”

“Yes—of you. They’ve been after Brice for ages, but he isn’t interested.”

“You seem pretty certain.”

“I am. Look if this was about me, I’d say your suspicions would probably be right. I’d love a chance to get Courtney Jerome or any of the others in the back seat of the car.”

Kerry glared at him.

“I’m only being honest. Brice isn’t anything like me. He hates girls who dress slutty or throw themselves at boys. He wouldn’t go within a million miles of them.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Jimmy hesitated.

“Jimmy, how can you be so sure?”

“You’ve met his mother?”

“Only briefly.”

“Have you see the way she dresses? She dresses like a tramp, and is always bringing men home.”

“She’s single. She’s entitled to a life.”

“She was doing that when she was still married to Brice’s father. They split up because she was unfaithful to him.”

“If Brice hates her so much, why doesn’t he live with his father?”

“Not long after the split, Brice’s father hanged himself.”

“Oh, God. I had no idea. He told me his parents were divorced.”

“I don't think he can bear to talk about his father's suicide. It's just easier for him to say they're divorced. Do you see now why I’m so sure Brice would never cheat on you?”

When she returned to the house, Kerry went straight to her bedroom. She felt terrible for what Brice had been through, but she still wasn’t sure if they should be together. Her head was pounding, and she feared a migraine was coming on. She needed to sleep.

Chapter 37

No matter how many times Brice slid his hand away from hers, Courtney was undaunted. She'd been talking non-stop ever since she’d joined him. He had little or no idea of what she’d said, and he cared even less.

“So? What do you think?” Courtney said.

“Sorry? About what?”

“I said why don’t we go back to my place? We could hang out—listen to some music.”

Brice looked at her as though she was insane, but before he could tell her he’d rather chew glass, his phone rang.

“Kerry is too good for you. Just stay the fuck away from her.”

It was the same person who had tried to warn him off before.

“Who are you?” Brice shouted into the phone.

“Did you find my little present? Under the car seat?”

“You? You planted the panties?” Brice got to his feet, and slammed his hand on the table. Courtney stared at him; she clearly thought he'd lost his mind. “You’re going to pay for this!”

“If you ever try to see Kerry again, I’ll make you wish you'd never been born,” the voice said. “Stay away from her—stick to those whores who follow you around all of the time.”

“Where are you…?”

The line was dead. Brice collapsed back into his seat. Courtney was staring at him.

“What?” he yelled at her.

“Fuck you, Brice!” She got to her feet, and stormed out of the coffee shop.

Brice tried Jimmy’s number. This time he picked up.

“Brice. I was just coming to see you.”

“Never mind that now. That punk bitch has just called me. She admitted putting the panties in my car.”

“Hold on. Where are you? I’ll come over now. I have something to tell you, too.”

Chapter 38

Kerry didn’t go to university for the rest of the week. She’d asked Jimmy to tell Brice she needed space and time to think. She wasn’t worried about missing classes or lectures because she was up to speed, and would soon catch up on whatever she missed. She’d made a promise to herself that she would make a decision about Brice before she went back to university on Monday. As Saturday approached, she had become increasingly nervous about the planned meeting with her biological mother. She still hadn’t said anything about it to her mum.

Kerry was up just after six on Saturday morning; she'd barely slept. A million and one things were running through her mind: had she made the right decision to seek out her biological mother? What would she say when they met? How would they get on? Top of her list of questions was ‘why?'. Why had she been given up for adoption? She didn’t want to make it about blame or guilt—she simply needed to know.

She arrived at the museum ten minutes early. It was only then it occurred to her that neither of them knew what the other looked like. Would they instinctively recognise one another? She glanced up and down the busy street. Occasionally, she'd pick out a woman who she thought might be her mother. Every one of them walked by without a word.

“Kerry?

The woman who'd spoken wasn’t one of those Kerry had picked out.

“Dawn?”

The woman nodded; there were tears welling in her eyes. That sparked a similar reaction in Kerry. 

“You can call me mum—but only if you want to,” Dawn said.

“Oh? I don't—err—”

“It's okay. Dawn's fine. If you'd prefer that.”

Kerry nodded.

“There’s a coffee shop in the museum,” Dawn said. “Would you like to go inside for a drink?”

“I’d like that very much.”

Kerry glanced around the coffee shop. She’d never been in there before—she’d never even set foot in the museum until then. It was a small museum which had exhibits from industries which had once been prevalent in the region, but which had now all but disappeared.  Kerry had only just met Dawn, but already it felt like there was a bond between them. Or, was that just her imagination?

“Do you mind if I ask you some questions?” Kerry picked at a fingernail.

“Not at all. What would you like to know?”

“I guess I want to know… I mean… I wondered why…”

“Why I gave you up for adoption?”

Kerry nodded.

“Before I answer that, I want you to know it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was young—too young. I wasn’t promiscuous—I wouldn’t want you to think that, but I’d fallen pregnant with a man I barely knew. ”

“Peter Stafford.”

“Peter—yes. As soon as I discovered I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to keep you. Peter was delighted and, although we hadn't been together long, we decided to get married.”

“I don’t understand. If you both wanted a baby, why put me up for adoption?”

Dawn lowered her gaze, and for a long moment didn’t speak.

“Things didn’t work out between me and Peter.”

“What happened?”

“We'd split up before you were six months old. It’s complicated, but in the end, I knew someone else would give you a better life.”

 “Why couldn’t you have raised me alone?”

“I wanted to. You have to believe that I wanted to. It just wasn’t possible.”

Kerry could see the pain in Dawn’s eyes and, although she wanted to know more, she didn’t feel she should push the subject any further for the moment. Instead, she allowed Dawn to ask the questions. Dawn wanted to know everything about Kerry's life. No detail was too trivial.

Two hours and three cups of coffee later, they left the museum. Dawn had to get back before her partner returned home. Kerry had university work to catch up on. They promised to meet again. Dawn didn’t want to tell her partner about Kerry—not yet anyway. They'd only been together for nine months—too soon for such a bombshell. She said that Kerry could phone during the hours of ten and three on weekdays. Dawn's partner would be out at work. They agreed to meet up again soon.

“Just one thing,” Kerry said, as they were about to go their separate ways. “Do you know where I can find my father?”

“I've no idea where Peter is. Sorry.”

“No last address? Relatives? Anything?”

“Sorry, no.”

Chapter 39

On Monday morning, when Brice arrived at the university's car park, he spotted Kerry waiting by the gate.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi. I’ll just park up. I won’t be a minute.”

Kerry followed him into the car park, and by the time he'd parked, she was waiting by the car door.

“I’m sorry I misjudged you,” she said.

“It doesn’t matter.” Brice climbed out of the car, and stood in front of her.

“It does. I should have believed you. I shouldn't…”

Brice bent forward and pressed his lips to hers. She slipped her arms around his waist, and they kissed.

“Thank goodness for that.” Jimmy was standing behind them. “I was fed up of looking at both of your miserable faces.”

Kerry leant her head against Brice’s shoulder. They were both smiling.

“Go away Jimmy,” Brice said, somewhat half-heartedly.

“Is that all the thanks I get for bringing you two back together?” Jimmy grinned.

“Thanks Jimmy,” Kerry said, and then nudged Brice in the ribs.

“Thanks,” Brice said in little more than a whisper.

“Sorry?” Jimmy cupped his ear. “What did you say, Brice?”

“I said thanks. Now sod off!”

Jimmy laughed. “I can take a hint.” And he did.

“Did you make any progress tracing your biological parents?” Brice asked.

“I’ve met my mother. Her name's Dawn.”

“Already? That was quick. How did it go?”

“Good. Very good.”

Kerry told Brice most, but not all the things she'd discussed with Dawn.

“Are you going to see her again?”

“Yes. She seemed keen.”

“What about your father?”

Kerry shrugged. “I asked Dawn about him, but she couldn’t or wouldn’t tell me how to find him. I got the feeling she was hiding something.”

“Such as?”

“I’ve no idea. I could be wrong.”

“So, what happens now?”

“I’m not going to give up on finding my father. I’ll just have to do it alone.”

“You’re not alone. I’ll help.”

They kissed again.

Chapter 40

“Right! Where do we start?” Brice said.

It was the following Saturday, and he and Kerry were at his house. His mother had gone away for the weekend. She'd probably told him who she was going with, but he couldn't remember, and anyway, didn't care. Kerry wasn't nervous to be alone in the house with Brice. She trusted him, and knew he’d never try to rush her into anything.

“I suppose we should use the same system I used to find my mother,” Kerry said. “We just have to work our way through the P. Staffords in the phone book.”

“Where did you make the calls from last time?” Brice knew, only too well, Kerry didn’t have a landline or mobile phone.

“From a pay phone.”

“That must have been a pain. It'll be easier working from here.”

“Won’t your mother mind me using her phone?”

“No. Besides, local calls cost next to nothing. If I use my mobile, we’ll get through the list in half the time.”

“You’re going to make calls too?”

“Unless you’d prefer I didn’t.

“No. I don’t mind.”

Kerry had photocopied the telephone directory pages for ‘Stafford’, and she'd highlighted all those with the initial ‘P’. There were two pages in all. She passed one to Brice, and placed the other on the table in front of her.

“Thanks for doing this,” she said. “It means a lot to me.”