An Ideal Wife (14 page)

Sameer proffered a goblet brimming with her favorite wine in her direction and then waited with bated breath for the magic to work. She took a few sips of the wine and then seductively walked towards him. Sameer’s heart sank seeing his plan was not working.

Just like the jail episode, god showered his mercy on Sameer at the last minute and Payal started feeling sleepy.

‘Jaanu,
I am feeling really sleepy,’ she slurred.

‘Thank god!’
Sameer murmured realising his idea was finally working. He had put some sleeping pills in her wine to avoid being exploited sexually again. Really, he had begun to feel like a boy toy!

‘I can understand. It was quite a tiring journey. You go and sleep my love,’ Sameer comforted Payal.

He kissed her goodnight and she went to the bedroom.

Sameer was feeling guilty for tricking Payal, but he was forced to take this step. It was impossible to stop her once she got going!

Few hours had passed by since Payal went to bed but sleep still eluded Sameer so he decided to take a brief stroll in the apartment, took out a couple of beers from the refrigerator and went to the balcony. Half an hour later and a couple of beers down he came back inside and sat down on the easy chair. He was not able to comprehend what was exactly happening in his life.

‘Oh God, what have you done?’
Sameer murmured.

At that moment, he heard my voice in his head and soon our cerebral conversation started.

‘Why are you blaming me?’

‘Then whom should I blame?’

‘This is exactly what you wanted?’

‘I wanted this?’ Sameer was astonished.

‘Wo wo wo, now you don’t even remember the FIRST quality of your Ideal wife?’

Sameer started thinking about his first encounter with me when he narrated the wish list of his Ideal wife.

‘My wife should have more sex drive than me.’

‘What is this? No one has ever asked for something like this before,’ I was completely puzzled.

‘There has to be some difference between Sameer and the others, right?’ Sameer winked at me.

‘But I am confused. Why do you want that?’

‘My friends usually complain that they are not able to fully enjoy their married life and one of the prime reasons for that is their wives have a weaker sex drive than them.’

I was baffled by Sameer’s logic but still wanted to clarify.

‘Are you sure about it?’

‘100%, that’s the first and foremost thing I want in my wife.’

Sameer came out of the flashback.

‘Oh God, what have I done? Can you do something about it?’

‘Sorry, it’s not in my hands anymore.’

Finally, Sameer gave up and slept on the easy chair.

Next morning, Payal got up pretty early and smiled seeing Sameer sleeping on the easy chair. She kissed his forehead and went to shower. An hour later she came back to the living room, towel drying her hair. She was scantily clad and looked extremely desirable.

Sameer was still asleep, so she decided to have some fun with him. She came pretty close to him and started brushing her hair vigorously. The water droplets from her hair fell on Sameer’s face but it had no effect on his Kumbhakarna sleep.

‘Wake up!’

Payal tried the same trick again but no different was the result.

‘Wake up my dear husband.’ She pressed her hand against his chest to wake him up.

‘Hmmm,’ Sameer moved a bit in his sleep.

‘Wake up
na!
’

Sameer lay corpse-like so she decided to let him sleep but before leaving she kissed him. And with that kiss, Sameer just woke up shouting.

‘No, not now!’

‘What not now?’

‘Maine kaha na abhi nahin!’

‘Arre baba kya nahin?’

‘I can’t make love right now.’

As soon as she heard this she started laughing.

‘I was just waking you up for office,’ she clarified.

Sameer looked at her and started smiling thinking about his reaction to her kiss.

‘I am going to extend my vacation for a week.’

‘Awesome.’

Payal dialled a number from her cellphone.

‘Who are you calling?’

‘I am going to cancel all my shoots for a week. This way, we’ll get more time with each other.’

Sameer pounced like a tiger and snatched her phone.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Maaf kar meri maa,’
Sameer folded his hands in front of Payal.

Surprised, Payal just kept looking at him.

‘I am extending my leave just because of you……
pata nahin kya kha ke teri maa ne tujhe paida kiya thha.
You don’t get tired or what?’ Sameer continued.

Payal grinned realising that Sameer was talking about her sex drive.

Sameer called his boss.

‘You are back,
dulhe raja,
’ Fatty said even before Sameer could say anything.

‘Yes, sir.’

‘So when can we see our
chand ka tukda?’

‘Sir, I need another week off.’

Fatty started laughing.

‘Looks like it took some real effort to bell the cat.’

Sameer just smiled as he looked at Payal while talking to his boss.

‘You know how it is? One more week sir, please.’

‘Chal
have fun but remember you have only one more week to bell the cat. International clients are coming next week.’

‘Sure, sir, I will be in the office next Monday.’

Sameer disconnected the phone and saw Payal approaching with two mugs of coffee. Sameer could only think of a tigress tiptoeing towards her
shikaar.

13

Jealousy thy name is (Wo)man

D
uring the second week of vacation, Sameer was quite surprised to see that many male neighbours from 10 to 60 years old started visiting their home on one pretext or the other. They were getting anything they could lay their hands on, even their newspaper, milk packages, food items, etc. They also started asking advice for things not remotely connected to Sameer and Payal. He was also baffled to see that during these visits they were interested in talking to only Payal.

This kind of reaction from all the male members created turmoil in the whole society and women started feeling jealous of Payal’s beauty. Wherever Sameer and Payal went, people behaved weird — someone slipped into the swimming pool, someone bumped into someone while looking at Payal, boys playing cricket either dropped catches or were clean bowled. All these made Sameer very uncomfortable.

One day, Payal got up from the dining table as soon as she finished her breakfast. Sameer was surprised, as she would usually wait till both of them finished their breakfast.

‘What happened?’

‘What?’ Payal looked around to check if something was wrong.

‘I mean, what’s the hurry? You finished your breakfast so quickly.’

‘You forgot
na?’

‘What?’

‘I knew it…I have a pretty major shoot today.’

‘But when did you tell me about it?’

‘Last night!’

‘
Tum raat ko dimag kahan chalane deti ho!
’

Both smiled and Payal left to change.

‘I have a great idea,’ Sameer said.

‘What?’ Payal asked from the bedroom.

‘I will join you and we will go for dinner after the shoot.’

‘You will get bored. It’s a 10-hour shift,’ Payal shouted from the bathroom.

‘I am already getting bored at home. You get ready, we will go together.

‘Okay, as you wish.’

Both left for Payal’s shoot after an hour.

‘I am telling you, you will get bored,’ Payal said again in the car.

‘That’s okay; if I get bored I’ll go grab a couple of beers with my friends. If that’s okay with you?’ Sameer asked very cautiously.

‘Sure, why would it be a problem with me?’ Payal sounded casual.

Sameer was pleasantly surprised with her answer; he had imagined that she would complain like his friends’ wives do. He had the most content of smiles on his face.

‘What happened?’

‘Nothing, I am glad you are so different from the others.’

‘Who others?’

Before Sameer could say anything they had already reached the shooting location.

‘Here you go,’ Sameer tried to change the topic.

‘But why were you smiling?’

‘Just like that.’

‘I am sure there is something but its okay you can tell me whenever you feel comfortable,’ Payal planted a light kiss on his cheek.

Right then an assistant director came running to her.

‘Ma’am, lighting is almost ready. Please go for makeup and dress change.’

‘Okay, I’ll take only about 15 minutes,’ Payal assured him.

‘You go, I’ll park the car and join you,’ Sameer said.

Payal left for her make-up while Sameer drove to the parking lot.

After 3 hours

Sameer was sitting in the studio watching Payal shoot for an Instant Noodles advertisement. Sameer started reminiscing the campaign he had designed for Shaggy Noodles and it brought a huge smile on his face.

After some time Sameer saw a few spot boys on the set were discussing something with each other while looking at Payal. He was not sure about the content, but he knew that subject of the discussion could be his wife. Sameer moved closer to the group as stealthily as a cat.

‘She looks stunning,’ sighed one of the spot boys.

‘Absolutely man!’

Sameer’s head turned as he heard these lines.

‘Iman kasam, isko dekh kar to koi bhi apna Roza tod sakta hai…ek dum chand dikhti hai.
’

‘I heard she just got married.’

‘Don’t tell me.’ Dejection was quite evident from the voice of another spot boy who had just joined the discussion.

‘Are you sure?’ he continued

‘Ask Shankar, I just heard from him.’

‘Pata nahin ye moti kis bandar ke haath laga hai.
’

The ensuing laughter sent the blood shooting to Sameer’s head, but he decided against showing his anger.

He came back to his seat and looked at Payal. She in turn looked at him and realised something was wrong. She raised her brows in a question. Sameer played down the whole incident by shaking his head as if to say ‘nothing’.

Payal once again got busy in the shoot. Sameer, still feeling uncomfortable, saw that everyone on the set was trying to hit on Payal. He couldn’t take it any longer and went straight to her.