Always Upbeat / All That (2 page)

Y
ou are so beautiful, Charli,” my boyfriend, Blake, whispered in my ear. He was six foot one and two hundred pounds of handsome. We sat at the food court in the happening Southlake Mall, enjoying each other.

I blushed. He had my heart. Blake Strong was every girl's dream. He was gorgeous and smart. Plus he was the starting quarterback at our upscale and predominantly African American Lockwood High School near the Atlanta airport. Though his dad was the football coach and a tough PE teacher, who scared us all, Blake was the complete opposite: just a teddy bear, and he was mine.

My life was fantastic. People said I was spoiled. I was an only child. My father was a state judge. So a princess's lifestyle was pretty much my story.

While my mom was busy with clubs, luncheons, and charities, I knew she loved me. She was there for everything I needed. There was not a ballet recital, tennis match, or cheerleading competition that she ever missed. My father and I were truly blessed to have her attend to all our needs.

Though I probably wouldn't win
America's Next Top Model
, when I walked in the room, dudes were eyeing me. At five foot six, size 8 shoe, and size 4 clothes … okay, really a size 6, my curves were in the right places. I didn't have any eating disorder issues. But keeping it real, I was not going to put anything too fattening in my mouth. Like most teen girls, I was conscious of my appearance. So when Blake told me I was beautiful, he had me melting.

“Nobody's at my house, Charli Black,” Blake said, laughing. “You know your name should be Charlie Brown.”

I just hit him, even though I get that all the time. His smile was perfect, and his hair was naturally wavy like mine. If my mother knew my thoughts, she'd kill me, but we'd have some pur-tee babies. Course we would actually have to do something for that to be an issue, and my mom would be pleased to know my legs had never been opened in that manner.

As he leaned in and kissed me on my neck, Blake continued, “Football camp starts tomorrow. You'll be going to cheerleading practice every day the next few weeks. Today is our day, babe. Let's really be together.”

He took my hand and motioned for us to leave. While I wanted to make him happy, I was not ready to commit myself. I knew a couple of my girls were out there having fun. And though I knew I loved Blake, something inside of me was saying to hold off giving it all up. I could not let him push me, so I tugged away.

“Oh, so it's like that?” he asked, getting a little frustrated that I told him no in a subtle way.

“Soon. Okay, baby?” I asked, sliding my hand up his chest.

“Don't play. Don't get me all excited and then tell me no. I'm going to get some ice cream.” Blake got up and shoved his chair hard under the table.

When he walked away, I could not stop keeping my eyes centered below his waist. The brown, luscious brother was fine. What was I thinking? What was I doing? What was I risking?

I needed to talk to my girls. Problem was, they were probably all together. And if one knew my business, they all would know. I had four great girlfriends. We had challenges, and we were not alike. But we all agreed how exciting it was to be the juniors on the cheerleading squad.

Everybody called me the most confident, but they did not know I really had my own issues. My mom taught me how to walk with my head up high, however, I always felt like I was not measuring up to her high standards.

Hallie was the loudest out of our group. You always knew when she was coming. She was not the best cheerleader. Honestly, we did not know if she was going to make the team. She had been trying for the past two years. The third time was the charm.

There were twins Ella and Eva. Though they looked identical, they were nothing alike.

Ella was a sweetheart, and Eva was sneaky, salty, and snappy. When you put the two of them together, it was like the perfect glass of Kool-Aid, but split them up and you got too much sugar or too much salt.

And Randal was my girl. She was so shy, but the better part of us all in my opinion. She did not give herself enough credit. She was always down on herself, and I did not like that. I loved that she had my same values of wanting to wait for sex. That was her goal, too, though it was easier for her because she did not have a man.

It was not so easy trying to stay pure when you had somebody stand in front of you looking all good, nibbling on your ear, and putting his hands everywhere they did not belong. I needed encouragement to stay strong so I would not go find Blake, jump in his car, and let him have his way with me.

Answering Randal's phone, Eva said, “Was-sup, Charli? Girl, thought you'd be too busy with Blake to call.”

With little enthusiasm, I replied, “Hey, Eva.”

“Don't sound like you ain't excited to talk to me. Whatever … Here, Randal. It's your girl. She's acting funky,” Eva said. “I don't have time for the attitude.”

“I don't have an attitude,” I said, hoping Eva would hear me before Randal got the cell.

In a kinder tone, Randal said, “Hey, Charli. How are you?”

“Hanging,” I replied, taking a deep breath. “What are y'all doing?”

“They're over, and we are trying to teach Hallie some cheers,” Randal answered.

Snatching the phone, Hallie said, “I don't want to look like a complete idiot at practice tomorrow, not knowing nothing. I wish you were here.”

“It's not knowing anything,” I thought to myself, not nothing. However, I knew I couldn't correct Hallie, because I'd never hear the end of it. In our group, Ella was the smartest one of us, although I wasn't far behind in the scholastic department. But the other three, for the life of me, stressed me out with the ghetto talk all the time.

“But you're with Blake,” Hallie said loudly into the phone.

Hearing them laugh and tease me, I said, “Well, y'all are busy. I'll let you go.”

I could sense Randal wrestling Hallie for the phone. “I've always got time to talk to you. Wassup?” Randal asked.

“Nothing, it's fine. Go practice.”

Eva said, “Charli, I just pushed her intercom button. You're on speaker. Spill it, dang.”

Feeling forced, I said, “Hey, you guys.”

“Hey, Charli. Miss you, girl,” Ella said in a warmer tone, making me feel loved.

“I miss you too,” I said, sending smooches through the phone. “How was New York?”

“Oh, so you can talk to my sister, but you ain't wanna talk to me?” Eva said with more attitude than a girl being upset with her hairdresser for giving her a tore-up weave job.

Getting passionate because she was so wrong, I said, “Girl, don't even trip. You know I missed you too. You were at your grandma's for a whole month. I was about to get on a plane and fly to New York myself to hang out with you guys. Tell them, Hallie. We looked up tickets.”

Hallie had my back. “Yeah, we did.”

“We're straight. But for real, Charli. You're with your man. Why are you calling us?” Eva asked. “Where is he?”

I looked over at the Dairy Queen. He said he was getting some ice cream, but I didn't see him standing there. My eyes started searching frantically. Where was my fine beau? My eyes widened when I spotted him laughing with some chick I recognized from our school.

“Who is that he's talking to? Why does she have her hand all over him like that? He's smiling at her!”

There were lots of oohs and ahhs going on in the background. Then I realized I was telling my friends
way
too much. All four of them started speaking to me at once, and it wasn't that I was ever dishonest with them, but I did not want them to know there was trouble in paradise. I was supposed to be the one who had it together.

Why was my boyfriend standing over there talking to some fast-looking girl? If her skirt was any higher, she would not have one on. Her shirt might as well have been a bikini top that was two sizes too small because everything was showing.

Truly upset and keeping it real, I yelled, “Oh heck nah. Y'all, I got to go.”

I had done too much work with Blake since freshman year—to get him to be the right boy-friend—for some girl to come along junior year and think she was going to take him. It was not going to happen.

“Okay, you need to handle that,” Eva said. “Because when you let go of the dog leash, they run all over the place. Chain him back up, girl.”

“For real, or put him on the phone; I'll give him an earful. He knows he wrong for that, being all up in the mall flirting with some other girl,” Hallie said.

I hung up the phone and went over to the two of them. I wasn't imagining everything I had seen from a distance. The two of them were clearly into each other. And as much as I wanted to tell myself it was all her, Blake was acting like he didn't have a girlfriend.

“Ugh,” I said, stepping between them. “Excuse me.”

Caught, my idiot boyfriend said, “Oh, oh, Charli. You know Jackie from school, right?”

“No, I've seen her, but I don't know her. You don't need to know her either.” I rolled my eyes at both of them.

“I have enough girlfriends, Blake,” Jackie said, licking her fingertip suggestively. “I want something else,” she said.

I snatched him away really fast. “Okay, so what's
that
all about?”

“Nothing, you didn't have to be all rude to the girl.”

“Whatever! She was rude to me. I know you're not going to defend her. Blake, I'm with you at the mall, and this is how you act when you step away. How do you act when I'm not even around? Am I really the girl you want or what?”

Then I walked away. He came up behind me, put his arms around my waist, and said, “You know you the girl for me. You ain't got to worry 'bout nobody.”

I took a deep breath and felt better after he reassured me. Thankfully we were good, but I knew I was going to have to do whatever was needed for things to stay that way.

I had been rambling on and on about Blake when I heard Eva say, “Like she thinks we're supposed to sit here and listen to her talk about Blake all day.”

I said, “Sorry, Eva. I didn't know coming to my girls for advice was selfish.”

“Ignore her,” Ella said, as she stroked my shoulder.

“I'm just saying,” Eva replied. “We already know he was checking out someone else, and that person was checking out him. But who was it? You said you thought you knew her. Does she go to our school? We can't help you understand any of it and break it down unless you divulge all.”

Frustrated, I uttered, “A girl named Jackie. I think she's on the dance team.”

“Jackie … ooh Jackie?” Randal said, using her hands to make curvy body motions.

Reluctantly, I nodded. Hallie looked at Ella. Ella looked at Randal. Randal looked at Eva. And Eva looked at me like they all knew something I did not.

Eva just busted out and said, “Okay, words out … she really likes Blake. Just so you know, we were hoping it was anybody but her.”

“What? What do you mean?” I asked in a desperate tone.

“Well, last year she was in my language arts class and so was Blake and …”

“And what? You never told me anything about that,” I said

Nonchalantly, Eva said, “I didn't think there was anything to tell. Guys are going to be guys.”

I stepped to Eva and said, “What do you mean? He's my boyfriend, Eva! Darn, I thought you had my back.”

“I do, but I can't tell your man what to do. If he's looking at somebody else, and I brought that to you, you would just dismiss it. We been here and done that already, so don't play. We already got into it in ninth grade about Blake. I tried to tell you then he was a player, and you didn't listen. So, I mean, you know, don't blame me.” Eva gave me a cold, coy grin.

Opening up her bedroom door and peeking out, Randal said, “You guys, calm down before my mom comes in here and wonders what in the world is going on.”

“Y'all need to get Charli up out of my face,” Eva said.

I thought back to ninth grade. She and I really did go at it about Blake. Every day she was telling me about this girl and that girl. When I talked to him about it, he told me what was really up. Apparently, Eva tried to get with him, and then he chose me over her. She was salty. It had been two years since all that drama, and I really thought we were past that, but maybe deep down a part of her didn't care if Blake ditched me. My friendship with Eva was sometimey, and I just needed her to care.

“So what did Blake say when you confronted him for talking to jack-butt Jackie?” Hallie asked. Randal and Ella laughed at her shrewd choice of nickname.

“He told me it was nothing. He told me he didn't like her, and that I didn't have to worry.”

Ella put her arm around me. “So what are you tripping about?” she asked.

“You're beautiful. He's crazy about you. He's probably the most popular guy in school, even as a junior. But still, everybody knows he's yours,” Randal said.

“Yeah, don't let him see you sweat,” Hallie said, smiling. I knew she wanted something, so I let her ramble on. “So now that you're feeling better, Miss Best Cheerleader in America, can you please help teach me some moves? All them three been doing is eating Randal's mom's food.”

Eva added, “Whatever. We can't help that she's a caterer and kept asking us to sample.”

Shaking my head to try and get it together, I said, “You're right. I need to get my mind off of Blake. Let's go. Let's do the cheer. Which one do you want to learn?”

Hallie jumped up and down. “Teach me ‘Who Dat?'”

“You ain't said nothing but a word,” Eva said. Then she came over and stood beside me, and the two of us threw down—cheering squashed the drama.

Grooving, I chanted, “Who dat? Who dat? Who dat think they bad? Who dat? Who dat? We're going to kick them in their … Clap, clap, clap. Step up, step back, shake, shake, shake. Arms up, arms down, your fist all around and come by your waist. Clap, clap, clap. Kick ball change, step up—”