Always (Time for Love Book 4) (7 page)

“Heaven,” Rebecca gushed. “We’re sitting in a café now, relaxing after a morning of sight-seeing. How are you?”

“I’m okay. I hope I’m not interrupting something, but can you talk for a couple of minutes?”

“Sure,” Rebecca replied, sounding worried.

“Bec, do you think Ash ever had feelings for me?” she blurted out.

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“The other girls think so,” she continued, suddenly feeling foolish for calling Rebecca to ask that one question. “But I was wondering if they were mistaken. So I thought I’d ask if you’d noticed what they’d noticed.”

“What brought this up?” Rebecca asked, the eager curiosity in her voice obvious.

She told her friend everything, from that day at the beach—omitting the part where she’d seen Ash naked at Connor and Amanda’s—to her dinner with him that had just finished. “I think that
if
he ever had feelings for me, they seem to be gone now,” she said sadly.

“Oh, Bren.”

“But I still want to know if you think he ever felt anything for me at all. Because maybe it’s not too late?” she asked hopefully.

She heard Rebecca’s loud sigh. “Yes, I think Ash has feelings for you. I think he’s had it for a long time.”

“
Has,
not had?”

“Well, as far as I could tell, it was still there when Zach and I left for our honeymoon.”

“How could you tell?”

“He asked me about seating arrangements for our wedding reception. He tried to be vague about it, but it was obvious to me that he wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to be sitting at the same table as Lance. Of course I knew not to sit him at the same table as Lance. I wouldn’t have done that to him. I was glad you were at the bridal table with us, so he didn’t have to watch you sit next to your boyfriend at my wedding.”

Tears sprung to Brenna’s eyes. She couldn’t imagine ever hurting Ash, but from what her friends had said, including this new tidbit from Rebecca, she’d done it many times in the past. “I wish I’d known this before,” she murmured.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before, Bren. But you didn’t seem to return his feelings, and I didn’t want to open up a can of worms.”

“I’m not blaming you or the others, Bec. I totally understand why you all kept it quiet. You were just protecting him.”

“And you feel differently for him now?”

“I think I’m falling in love with him,” she admitted.

“Wow,” Rebecca said after a pause.

“But he’s keeping me at an emotional distance. Why is he doing that if he’s really interested in me? He’s totally ignoring my flirtations.”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because he’s not sure of how you feel? Maybe he’s scared he might be misreading your flirtations for something else?”

“Or maybe he doesn’t want to encourage me,” she said despondently. “Maybe he’s really interested in Sophie.”

“Who’s Sophie?”

“This woman he’s supposedly seeing. Although he tells me he has no current plans to go out with her.”

“What are you gonna do?”

Brenna thought for a moment. “I’m not giving up on him that easily, Bec.”

“Way to go, honey. I’m cheering for you.”

*****

B
renna turned up at the clinic at eight, two hours earlier than her arranged start time. Even Dora and the morning temp weren’t in yet. Fortunately, one of the doctors was already there, and she let her in.

Ash would be turning up in about ten minutes. She wanted to be there before he got busy with work. She couldn’t wait to see how he’d act around her after she’d kissed him on the lips last night.

After her conversation with Rebecca, she’d made up her mind to continue flirting with him. She wasn’t ready to give up yet.

She turned on her computer, then started going through Ash’s schedule for the day, figuring out when she could bring him his lunch. She enjoyed this part of the job the most. She loved looking after him.

The front door opened and Ash walked in.

“What are you doing here so early, Bren?” he asked in surprise.

“I wanted to be here early,” she said with a smile.

“Why?”

“Just because, Ash,” she replied, peering at him through her lashes.

Ash frowned. “Have you had breakfast?”

“Have you?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Ash’s lips twitched and he let out a sigh. “Fine. Could you get us both something to eat, please?”

“And what would you like, Doc?” she asked, hiding her smile. She wasn’t expecting this. Their I-eat-when-you-eat arrangement was for lunch only. But she wasn’t going to point that out. At least he’d be getting some sustenance before he started his busy day.

He shrugged. “A bacon roll or something. And a coffee.”

She stood up and grabbed her handbag. “Coming right up. And breakfast is on me,” she added when he pulled his wallet out.

“No.
All
food is on me,” he said with deadly seriousness, getting some money out. “Don’t even think of arguing, Brenna Ward. I don’t like that you’re here too early. This is simply another compromise so you don’t starve.”

“Fine,” she said grabbing the cash from his hand. She grinned when her back was turned to him. It may not be a big thing, but he just showed he still cared.

*

A
sh’s office door was open when Brenna came back with his breakfast.

“Here you are, honey,” she said, placing the food on a clear spot on his desk.

Hopefully, the term of endearment would have some effect. She’d called him that a few times in the past, just like she’d often used the word on her best friends. But after she’d kissed him on the lips last night, she hoped he’d pick up that it meant something more this time.

“Thanks, babe. I’ll eat it while I work,” Ash said, smiling at her before turning his attention back to the open folder in front of him.

Babe?
She stared at him, dumbstruck, her heart hammering. What did ‘babe’ mean? He’d never called her that before.

After a moment, Ash looked up at her again. “Sorry, Bren. I really need to go over this patient file. Promise I’ll eat at the same time.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she said, flustered.

“Where’s your breakfast?”

“On my desk.”

“Good. Don’t work too hard.”

“Only if you don’t work too hard,” she quipped, heading for the door. “I’ll bring you lunch at one-thirty.”

“Okay, sweetheart,” he said.

Wha-at?
He had
never
called her sweetheart before. She gaped at him, but he was already concentrating on some document, frowning at it. She went back to the reception desk, totally stunned—in a good way. A very good way.

A
sh chuckled silently as he watched Brenna walk back to her desk. He’d shocked her. That much was obvious.

Well, tit for tat. She’d shocked him last night, too.

That kiss
on the lips
had floored him. He’d stared at her closed door for interminable seconds, wondering what it had meant. But since she’d immediately gone back inside her apartment, he’d turned around and gone home.

He’d regretted leaving it at that, though. He should have banged on her door, pulled her in an embrace and resumed the kiss. Unfortunately, when it came to Brenna and his heart, he was a coward.

He’d lain on his bed and stared at the ceiling for hours last night, replaying in his mind Brenna’s actions these last few days.

If it had been some other woman, he’d say she’d most definitely been flirting with him—even being seductive at times. But it was hard for him to believe that Brenna ever meant to intentionally flirt and seduce. She’d been oblivious to his feelings for years, and had never indicated she wanted anything other than a platonic relationship. Why would things be different all of a sudden?

He couldn’t even hazard a guess... until this morning, after he woke up.

Brenna must have noticed something the day he carried her to the water at Bondi Beach. He did discern a change in the way she’d been acting around him since then, but he’d refused to look deeper into it. She must have picked up on his wordless signals, and had finally realised he had feelings for her.

Knowing Brenna, she would be feeling guilty if she thought she’d been hurting him, albeit unconsciously. Her MO had always been to overcompensate for her perceived misdeeds by doing helpful things, just like the time she’d worked for hours organising his mother’s kitchen after she broke some plates.

He now suspected that the main reason why Brenna had taken annual leave to help at his clinic was exactly that—to make up for breaking his heart.

But he didn’t want her guilt, pity or sympathy. He wanted her love.

And it was the kiss on the lips that thoroughly confused him. He could see no reason for it—unless Brenna had become open to the idea of them being a couple, and was giving him hints.

Of course he’d love for that to be the motivation for the kiss. But he couldn’t allow himself to get too excited. It was all conjecture on his part.

So he’d come to a decision before he left home that morning. Since Brenna probably already suspected he had feelings for her, he’d show her that he did
like
her a lot. But he had to be careful not to overwhelm her. If she didn’t feel the same, it would be easy to play down a mere like. They should still be able to keep a friendship then. But if Brenna found out he was in love with her and couldn’t return those deeper feelings, it might be impossible to remain friends. He’d rather walk around with a wounded heart than lose her altogether.

Even if she could never love him back the way he loved her, he would never choose not having Brenna in his life. It would be like cutting out a part of his heart. Sure, that part might be all wounded and scarred, but how could he live without a full heart?

So for now, keeping it fun and light was the order of the day.

*****

A
sh was escorting a patient out of the testing room when he saw Brenna walk in with a carry-bag. He smiled. The ever-efficient Miss Organiser had lunch ready in time—like she’d said she would.

He walked to reception and gave instructions to the temp regarding his patient, then gave Brenna a small nod. She followed him to his office.

“Ready for your break, Doc?” she asked.

“Sure am. Why don’t you have lunch with me in my office?”

“Really? You won’t be working?”

“I noticed I have an hour until the next patient comes in. I’m sure I can spare about forty-five minutes for a little break.”

Brenna halted him, her face alight. “In that case, why don’t we go across the road and enjoy the sunshine while we’re having lunch?”

He smiled. It had always been at the back of his mind to walk around the Royal Botanic Gardens whenever he found some time. In the three years he’d worked opposite the public gardens, he’d only visited it four or five times. He’d simply been too busy.

“Sounds good,” he said.

“Great. Let me tell Dora.”

*

“D
ora almost fell off her chair when I told her we were heading out here for a lunch break,” Brenna said as they sat on a bench amongst the rose bushes.

“She’s not used to me taking a proper break,” he said, then laughed when Brenna gave him a censuring look while she took contents from out of the bag.

“I got us some sushi.” She handed him a big plastic container filled with one of his favourite foods.

“Yum. Thanks.”

“Look what else I got,” Brenna said, holding up a magazine with familiar faces on the cover.

“Hm. They’re moving on to Sarah and Jeff’s wedding, huh?”

“Yes. I think they’ve used up all their photos from Zach and Bec’s wedding, so they’re now talking about the next big celebration. But of course, a little intrigue is to be expected. They’re
wondering
if all is well with Sarah and Jeff, since there hasn’t been any news on their actual wedding date.”

Ash snorted, shaking his head.

“And look who else is on here,” Brenna said, pointing to a smaller photo on the cover.

“Greg and Gemma,” he said with a laugh. “What are they saying about them?”

“Well, they still reckon these two are an item. I’ll have to talk to Gemma later and see what she thinks of all this. But unfortunately, Ash, there’s still nothing about you in here. Sorry,” Brenna added teasingly.

“Ah, my time will come,” he joked.

“Yeah. And wouldn’t it be great if it would be about you and me?”

He glanced at Brenna, who was staring at him with wide eyes, her lips parted. She placed her palm on his cheek, making it hard for him to breathe. In the next second, he found himself leaning towards her, pulled by some power he had no hope of resisting.

He fitted his mouth with hers and revelled in the soft feel of her lips. They kissed, slowly at first, then more passionately, tongues eagerly stroking each other.

Joy blossomed inside of him. Just how long had he waited for this moment? How often had he dreamed of this?
He
was kissing
Brenna
—and she was kissing him back.

He could have stayed like that for hours. He wanted to, but he was getting hard—too hard—and they were in a very public place. Reluctantly, he pulled away.

He was already breathing hard from their kiss, but seeing Brenna’s flushed, smiling face—looking up at him with desire—took his breath away. God, she was beautiful. In hindsight, perhaps they should have stayed in his office, with the door locked.

“You should eat,” Brenna breathed, running her thumb on his bottom lip.

He chuckled. “After that kiss, that’s what you say?”

She giggled. “You’ve rendered me almost speechless, Dr. Payne.”

He grinned and gave her a short peck before opening the container holding his lunch. He would have loved to sit here with her for the rest of the afternoon, but work awaited them.

They ate their lunch and talked about the usual things, laughing and enjoying an easy conversation. Only this time, they sat closer together, with Brenna occasionally dipping her head on his shoulder, and him kissing her hair. It was pure bliss, and he knew he was in deep trouble. But this time, he didn’t care.